Reading Reviews for white hawk
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Chelly tutoring duties

7th February 2008:
I solemnly swear I will review this story! It's really good and just hypes up the curiosity and suspense. I can't wait to read on!

Author's Response: Thank you. :) I'm glad you're intrigued; it means I've succeeded in my writing purpose. :)

 Report Review

Review #2, by Larkin Gallagher a walk in the woods

5th October 2007:
great decribtion, though I am not sure i understand who Lydia is. Is she a student?

Author's Response: No, Lydia is not a student. She lives in the Forbidden Forest and protects the creatures that live there. Sorry if that was confusing. Thanks for the review. :)

 Report Review

Review #3, by MoonlitTwilight the honorary marauder

14th March 2007:
Loved it! Great job!

~Moony

Author's Response: Thanks! I love it too. :)

 Report Review

Review #4, by skypaw secrets

19th January 2007:
Remus can't control what he does once he is transformed so Sirius and James fould have to fight him to get him to enter the Whomping Willow.

Author's Response: True. I'll fix that. Thanks.

 Report Review

Review #5, by mactress007 the honorary marauder

13th January 2007:
Hi!!
It was cute that the maruaders accepted her. But I think that things went rather too fast here. Having Remus to Empathize almost immediately was something, bur having the other three, accept her so quickly is another thing that is not like the true marauders. she is a Ravenclaw and not interested to to any mischief, as far as the reader knows, a lot of neccassary explanation went missing.

On the whole the story is original, but somethings in my opinion are rather left out.

But I still like it!!
x x x
mactress007
x x x

Cya!


Author's Response: I think I'll have to put in the conversation that Remus had with the other Marauders concerning Nayda--it explained her "fast" acceptance by them. (Sorry if the omittance caused a problem.) As for her being a Ravenclaw and not that interested in mischief-making, that's true, she doesn't want to cause mischief and she is a Ravenclaw. However, I was making a point that the main reason for the Marauders wasn't mischief making, it was for Remus. But, don't worry, I've officially decided to expand the story to include the left out details--more into her personal history, and hopefully, why the Marauders were so interested in becoming her friend.
Thanks soo much for the review! ~manya


 Report Review

Review #6, by mactress007 secrets

13th January 2007:
Hi!
This chapter was gd!
Only, severus Snape is a born genius in potions and a very good occlumens. Remus Lupin gets to be taken by Madam Pomfry to the shreiking shack for his monthly visits, while the other three go secretly under the invisibility cloak that Potter owns. Remus transforms in his werewolf state when he's concealed in the safety of the shreiking shack.

Wasn't Nayda scared knowing that she'll be in a place with a werewolf? I dont think that Dumbeldore would let her go in the shelter of the shreiking shack with a werewolf. I think he'll tell her if so, or at least, the most practical way is to put Nayda in an other safe place without other inhabitants for the night.

Anyways, gd chapter!!
x x
mactress007
x x

:):)

Author's Response: Alright, so I took a few creative liberties... Yes, I know Snape is a genius in potions---It was a small joke to think that he may have needed tutoring. I think Nayda wasn't scared of Remus. She was, after all, a hawk. She could fly higher than he could jump, so she felt safe being in the same place with a werewolf. And Dumbledore didn't know she went to the Shreiking Shack. I'll explain that later, in another story I'm currently composing that will explain her history a bit better, as some reviewers have requested. Thank you so much for your review! It was greatly appreciated! :)

 Report Review

Review #7, by mactress007 a walk in the woods

13th January 2007:
Hi!
This chapter was very interesting! It sounds very original! And you have very good english!

Cu in the next chapters!
:):)
xx x x
mactress007
xx x x

10/10!!

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review!

 Report Review

Review #8, by hogwarts_girl_5 the honorary marauder

10th January 2007:
aww...how sweet!! nice story!! can u gimme sum ideas to write bout...i really wanna write my first fanfic, but dunno wat to write bout!!

Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review! You're quickly becoming my most frequent reviewer--I feel honored. Now, about ideas, here's a general tip, and perhaps something to get you thinking: take a moment from one of the books and theorize about what happens after the scene on the page ended. Perhaps add a character (of your own creation, or just someone who wasn't seen in the narrative) observing the scene and find out what they're thinking. That's just one idea. If you want others, see my profile and you can email me. Good luck! :)

 Report Review

Review #9, by lost_in_my_dreams the honorary marauder

8th December 2006:
I definitely liked the idea of this story, though it was rather short. You are a great author and if you ever have the time or the desire, you could make this into a wonderful longer story that would go more into depth (why was the curse placed on Nayda’s family, why was Nayda considered an outcast in her family, etc) and establish relationships (not necessarily romantic relationships) between the characters. I think that this was a brilliantly original idea and I enjoyed reading it.

Author's Response: I have been considering going into more depth with the story of Nayda. I'm pleased that you enjoyed the story; it's plot was going around in my head for a while before I managed to find the Nayda character to tie it all together. Thanks for the encouraging review. I appreciate it! :)

 Report Review

Review #10, by lost_in_my_dreams a walk in the woods

8th December 2006:
The only word to describe this is intriguing. It is a fantastic introduction that captures my interest. And the writing is not “immature”, if you know what I mean. This chapter is wonderfully written. It doesn’t make sense to me that so few reviews have been left for you on this story. You have talent. Don’t let the lack of reviews discourage you.

Author's Response: Thanks. I worked on this story quite a bit before submitting it, and I'm proud of the outcome. :)

 Report Review

Review #11, by Hyperventilating the honorary marauder

23rd October 2006:
It's a nice idea, I wish you would do more with it. Anyway, I really enjoyed reading it. Your use of words is inspiring. But I didn't quite get who Lydia was. Was she in Care for Magical Creatures, like Hagrid is now?
Again, really nice story!

Author's Response: Lydia Pfilsch is a bit of an enigma. She's really a creation of my friend The Red Hawk; if you want to know more about her, read my story "Alternate Scenes". She's in there, and I give a few more hints as to who she is. She does care for magical creatures, but alongside Hagrid, not in his place. Sorry if that's confusing. I think I may do more with it. Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked the story! :)

 Report Review

Review #12, by T.4.TIGER secrets

20th October 2006:
I really enjoy the story so far . . . are you going to be writing anymore to this story?

I would really like to know what happens . . .

Thanks

Author's Response: Yes, actually, I have just completed writing the rest of the story and I'll be posting it as soon as I can type it, so look for it soon! Thanks for your review! :)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login