Reading Reviews for What If
  
61 Reviews Found

Review #1, by jkgiggle Heartbreak Lullaby

23rd April 2008:
if he still loves hermoine just a little bit he shouldn't marry lavender!!!

Author's Response: I'd have to agree with you on that. ;)

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Review #2, by jkgiggle What If

23rd April 2008:
this is a good chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks! ^_^

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Review #3, by ashleybb23 It's Gonna Be Love

26th July 2007:
it was AWSOME!

Author's Response: Thanks! Glad to know you like it. =D

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Review #4, by ashleybb23 What If

25th July 2007:
really good

Author's Response: Thank you! ^_^

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Review #5, by Romina Stephanie It's Gonna Be Love

20th June 2007:
Oh, I'm so happy for them, but I'm feeling sad for Lavender all the same! But I loved the fact that she already knew, and that she kept fooling herself. I believe it's just like that when you're in love; you do not want to face the real truth. So heart-shattering. But that's the truth. Now, I hate Lavender less, hehe.

But they're together! The way she spoke... It was more Hermione-like as you said. You really portrayed the characters well, I must say. I wish the chapters would've been a bit longer, because personally, I feel you could've added a bit more emotion. But those that already were included were shown great. Once again, you were detailed and it gave so much life to the story itself. Great!

Again, you had some grammar errors, but nothing major. You could fix it in a heartbeat, as I said. Other than that - this was a lovely story! Good job!

Author's Response: Oh, I’m so happy that you felt for Lavender! I wanted to portray a different Lavender than the ones I often see in fanfictions. I didn’t want her to be just a villain. ^_^ And I’m glad you think it was Hermione-like. I don’t think she would burst through the door and screamed ‘Stop!!’ =D Thanks again for the review!

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Review #6, by Romina Stephanie Heartbreak Lullaby

19th June 2007:
Oh, A-Teens was a Swedish pop-band :p Sorry, off topic, but I just had to brag, haha.

I liked this one too. You're descriptive and you really manage to give life to your characters and you portray them and their feelings greatly. I really like that! My only complaint would be of your grammar. The major part are the tenses and it tends to get a bit distracting. So I advice you to check 'em out and edit the story. It'd take less than thirty minutes. All in all, sweet chapter. Can't wait to find out what'll happen next!

Author's Response: They are? Lol, I liked them for a long time but I was never sure where they came from. I never heard of them again, have they broken up? Anyway, thank you! I’m a bit hesitant when it comes to describing and tend to rewrite them over and over, so I’m thrilled that you like it. ^_^ This story was written back when my grammar was awful, but I will edit this asap now that I have loads of time on my time. Thanks again!

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Review #7, by Romina Stephanie What If

19th June 2007:
This was very sweet, though a bit heart-aching (which is good still, hehe). It's sad that neither of them has so far confessed their true feelings, being too stubborn and afraid to do so. You managed to show this... frustration or disappointment in them well and I liked that.

Overall, there were a few grammar errors, but nothing major. Tenses mixed up mostly. You could always edit your fic and I'm sure you'd notice them too. What I didn't like, is the fact that it was a bit choppy. It didn't flow as well as I would've liked, but it's not the whole world. But two things you could work on.

Otherwise, this was good! I'm off to read the next chapter! (By the way, I left a request for you to review my story and you wrote that you'd appreciate some reviews yourself, so here I am (: ) Good job on the first chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you for this review! I know, I really should edit this story.

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Review #8, by taylorj828 It's Gonna Be Love

2nd April 2007:
Well, a happy ending indeed. I was surprised about Lavender. I’m glad you had Harry tell her in advance, and prepare her. It would truly be awful if she had been blindsided by it – a lot goes into planning those weddings! Glad Ron and Hermione got together. They should have just gotten married while everyone was there. I mean, they’re obviously going to! LoL. Cute story. Again, tenses need work and also some misspellings. A beta would probably really help with those things though. (o:

Author's Response: Thank you! Lavender’s reaction does surprise a lot of people, but I just didn’t want her to go ballistic or something of that sort. She’s a older than the book, so I made her much less drama queen-ish. =P That’s also one of the reasons why I had Harry tell her before hand. I just pictured her taking out the anger and sadness on him the night before the wedding. ^.^ Well, anyway, thank you for the review!

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Review #9, by taylorj828 Heartbreak Lullaby

2nd April 2007:
Cute second chapter. Crash the wedding Hermione! Oh dear, can’t these two pick up on clues? Silly kids. Besides, why would Ron settle for second best if he didn’t even try for first? LoL. Again, your tenses switch a lot, so I’d suggest trying to work on that. If a person is thinking in Present Tense, then give an indication to let us know (italics or something), otherwise, it should all be consistent. It should stay in past tense. Well, let’s see what the two made-for-each-other-lovebirds do… (o:

Author's Response: Lol, thanks again! These two are just blinded by fear. ^_^ And to think I didn’t know about HTML back then. Oh, the horror. =P

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Review #10, by taylorj828 What If

2nd April 2007:
Alright, well, sweet so far. I want to say though that you switch tenses a lot in your writing, so it’s rather irksome. But the story idea is coming through well. Unrequited love. But then – isn’t committing yourself to one person for the rest of your life something you should be sure about? I think Ron (and Hermione) should get over their scared feelings and tell each other! If Hermione doesn’t tell Ron, their friendship will still change after he gets married. If she does – well then she really hasn’t got anything to lose. As for Ron – for the love of pete man! If he loves her, he should tell her! LoL.

Author's Response: Lol, thank you! The tenses thing, well, this was written like a year ago, when I was just a newbie. I’ve been meaning to edit all of my old stories, including this one, but haven’t got the time. Thank you for letting me know though. Yeah, I’ve always been worried that Ron and Hermione might never tell each other, that’s how this story started. Anyway, thank you again! ^_^

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Review #11, by ginny_malfoy22 It's Gonna Be Love

26th March 2007:
I can never see Lavender being nice about it but...oh well. Good story.

Author's Response: Yeah, it does depend on how you view her character, and that was how I see her when she’s a bit older. Thank you for the review. =)

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Review #12, by ralj1640 It's Gonna Be Love

15th February 2007:
Yay. Lavender's reaction is not was excepted but it was great otherwise:)

Author's Response: Thank you! I didn’t want her to go ballistic over it, because it would seem really cheesy and it wasn’t the Lavender I pictured her to be. She’d go cry afterward, but not in front of everyone.

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Review #13, by ralj1640 Heartbreak Lullaby

15th February 2007:
ron seems just in chachacter expect for the fact he is usulay oblivis to the fact oof any think.

Author's Response: Thanks. I made him grow up a bit. He’s been oblivious long enough. =)

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Review #14, by ralj1640 What If

15th February 2007:
I think waterbuffalows are going to attack the fults in my band. No your story is great:)

Author's Response: Lol, okay. Thanks!

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Review #15, by Selene It's Gonna Be Love

11th February 2007:
Way to go Hermione! Gosh, I'm ready to cry now. Your descriptions of both Hermione and Lavender are picture perfect in my mind.

I can almost picture Ron restraining the urge to shout 'Yes!' when Hermione stood up. Oh, now I am going to cry. The further I read, the more the tears well up. Harry you naughty thing, going to the bride-to-be and telling her that. Smart, but naughty. Lucky you didn't get hexed.

Wonderful job! Again, I wish this was so much longer. There is so much I want to say, but I need to find a tissue to wipe my eyes. This is the first wedding fic I've read that have made me cry. I will probably reread this until I have it memorized. Thank you for such a wonderful read! You are a talented author and have a wonderful talent for details and emotions.

Author's Response: Now I’m going to go grinning for two days. =D Thank you so much for this wonderful review! I really needed it. You know, I did picture Harry getting all the hexes and tears from Lavender the night he told her. That’s why she was much calmer the next day. ^_^

I’m sorry I made you cry, but at the same time I’m happy that this story can touch you. ^_^ I haven’t had much faith in myself lately, so this is a really great confidence boost. Thank you again, Amanda!


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Review #16, by Selene Heartbreak Lullaby

11th February 2007:
I really hope Hermione crashes that wedding, tastefully though. I can't say how much I love this story; I really wish this was longer than three chapters. I can't put into words how much I really, really enjoy this. Good job, perfect ratings all across!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you Amanda! I read your reviews at the night of my birthday and these were probably the second best gift I’ve had all day. *huggles* Thank you!!

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Review #17, by Selene What If

11th February 2007:
That is so touching! I am a really big fan of Ron/Hermione and my biggest fear is what might happen if they never tell each other how they feel before the end of book seven. The way you portray their emotions is really touching. You have me wanting to shake the monitor and yell 'Tell him!' Good job! You're a wonderful and beautiful writer!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you Amanda! I read your reviews at the night of my birthday and these were probably the second best gift I’ve had all day. *huggles* Thank you!!

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Review #18, by SiriuslyCrack (Not logged in) It's Gonna Be Love

29th December 2006:
Priscilla, that was just just brilliant!! A great ending! I really loved reading this three chaptered fic of yours. And you are right, having Hermione burst through the door would have seened a bit OOC. I also like how you protrayed Lavender. I dunno but I found her the best in this story ;)

Great work, dear Pris. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you!! I’m really thrilled that you like it. It was a bit difficult to write because I didn’t want to make any of them OOC. Bursting through the door seemed a little desperate for Hermione, so I didn’t do that. ^_^ And I’m glad you like Lavender! She was the hardest to write because I wasn’t sure if that would really be her reaction. Thank you again, Tahi! *huggles*

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Review #19, by SiriuslyCrack (Not logged in) Heartbreak Lullaby

29th December 2006:
Ah, this is good. I am so looking forward to know what's going to happen that I am going to leave a very short review *scurries away to read the next chapter*

Author's Response: Yes, do read on. I wanna know what you think of the wedding scene. =P Thanks, dear!

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Review #20, by SiriuslyCrack (Not logged in) What If

28th December 2006:
OMG, that's really good, Pris. With perfect lyrics too. And I also like the fact that you showed Lavender as a good person. Most fics portray her as a giggly dumb bimbo! So, is this story going to have a happy ending? I guess I'll have to read further for that. Onto the next chapter...

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Tahi! For some reasons I couldn’t get that song out of my head, so I wrote this. Lavender’s been stereotyped and I didn’t think she was a dumb bimbo. Thanks again for the lovely review! *huggles*

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Review #21, by Anony_Mouse It's Gonna Be Love

9th December 2006:
Fred and George are right-they are dumb! ;-) ***Joke*** Well, I liked this even better the 2nd time around. Coolio! :D

Author's Response: Lol, thanks Anony_Mouse!

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Review #22, by andharrywokeup It's Gonna Be Love

22nd November 2006:
This fic was beauuutttiful! The lines in the first chapter were really annoying, so I'm glad you got rid of them! :P Great work! andy x x x

Author's Response: Thank you Andy! I'm going to edit this story as soon as I can because of the formatting things. Glad you like it!

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Review #23, by Anony_Mouse What If

2nd October 2006:
Very original!

Author's Response: Yay, thanks!

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Review #24, by dim at best (not signed in) It's Gonna Be Love

2nd September 2006:
OMG It's so fluffy! I love it! lol

You italicized the lyrics (good job!) and they suited the whole scenario beautifully. You still switch from past to present though... get someone to read it over :)


I thought that the way you handled everything was all neat and tidy, very cute indeed, but maybe a bit too neat and tidy. I was very surprised at Lavender's lack of a hissy fit, and even though her explanation of what Harry told her made things somewhat more believable, I still think that someone should've gotten mad... if only for a little drama. :P

-Terri

Author's Response: Yeah, it does lack a little drama, doesn’t it? I didn’t really prepare for this chapter-since I only planned this fic to be a one-shot-so I wasn’t really ready. I actually like it better this way. ^_^ Thanks again, Terri!

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Review #25, by dim at best (not signed in) Heartbreak Lullaby

2nd September 2006:
Once again, you keep switching from the past tense to the present tense. Perhaps get a beta to go over things, and maybe italicize the lyrics?

I liked Harry's random interference. It has always been my personal opinion that the two will be shoved together because of Harry, and I like his role here as the random matchmaker. Very nice.

Ron's contemplation regarding the two pictures was written very nicely as well. The emotions and torment regarding his ultimate decision were portrayed to the reader so that we felt empathy, and didn't feel as if they had been pushed upon us. Good job!

-Terri

Author's Response: I promised myself I’d be editing this soon, but I got a lot going on so it might take a while before I actually get to it. Thanks for pointing out my mistakes too. I agree with you about Harry, that’s why he popped in there. ^_^ Thanks for the review!

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