{reviewid: 903293, reviewer: 'Chewing_Gum12'}
15th February 2006:
Love the story I loved this chapter more then all the rest though! please up date I cant wait to read more! but one thing...if other readers are like me then they dont read stories till late at night, what would make you story more enjoyable is if you could leave dubble spaces between Paragraphes, and when they are talking...this way its easyer in out eyes and much more easy to understand and not read the same line over again.
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{reviewid: 848142, reviewer: 'peevelicious'}
8th January 2006:
wow, i really don't know the answer to that riddle. I feel inadequate
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{reviewid: 847780, reviewer: 'peevelicious'}
7th January 2006:
wow, i really don't know the answer to that riddle. I feel inadequate
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{reviewid: 812593, reviewer: 'Fylleth'}
15th December 2005:
I like your style. Pretty good descriptions, like Sirius's food 'blooming'. You made a point of how dumb everyone can be when they're in love ... but eleven is too young an age to think the way they do here.
Check for some spelling errors and spaces after comas and ellipsises:
[Maybe … but this is]
Separate character dialogues like this:
[The girls made it to the Great Hall at the same time, both agreeing that neither would have to kiss Snape. At that moment, Snape walked up with Malfoy alongside him. "What were you saying about me, Evans?" he asked coldly.
Lily looked at him and put her hands on her hips, "Nothing that concerns you."]
It's neater and less confusing to read. Other than that, good luck. :D
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{reviewid: 703911, reviewer: '_Lc_'}
21st September 2005:
i hope you'll keep going, its a good story so far
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{reviewid: 682961, reviewer: 'lunalovegood616'}
5th September 2005:
ooooooo
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{reviewid: 682949, reviewer: 'lunalovegood616'}
5th September 2005:
i have a feeling the nxt day didnt solve things.. hmmm.. good job!+
- what a dream...
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{reviewid: 682920, reviewer: 'lunalovegood616'}
5th September 2005:
loooove it!
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{reviewid: 624367, reviewer: 'That%20guy'}
2nd August 2005:
A piece of advice. Start a new paragraph every time something new happens (I.E: Someone talks, an envent happens that prevents it and basically anything about a change in speech). Look at the writers resorce for an expliation for this.
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{reviewid: 624363, reviewer: 'That%20guy'}
2nd August 2005:
Just pointing out, unless I'm much mistaken, One-Shot fics have ONE chapter
Author's Response: Yes I know, I'm not stupid. But when I first started this story, it wouldn't allow me to place it anywhere but here for some reason. I am trying to change it.
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{reviewid: 624245, reviewer: 'Aumbriette'}
2nd August 2005:
I loved the descriptions, and in my opinion its harder to write those than just dialogue, dialougue, dialogue.
Going to read next chapter
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{reviewid: 622395, reviewer: 'Drunk%20Elves'}
1st August 2005:
Winky: this is good!
Dobby: Keeps it up!
Winky : Loves, the Drunkies!
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{reviewid: 622393, reviewer: 'Drunk%20Elves'}
1st August 2005:
Winky: This is great!
Dobby: But maybe you has posted its in the wongs section, miss soul writer?
Winky: Cos its in one-shots....
Dobby: Just though you mights wants to knows.
Winky: Love, THE DRUNKIES!
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{reviewid: 621588, reviewer: 'gryffindorgirl16'}
31st July 2005:
Good story...please update soon!
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{reviewid: 621579, reviewer: 'gryffindorgirl16'}
31st July 2005:
Pretty good. Okay, on to chapter 2!
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{reviewid: 620677, reviewer: 'lime%20flavoured%20bertie%20bott'}
31st July 2005:
this is really cute. are you going to continue all through the years? that would make it real long, but good!
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{reviewid: 568436, reviewer: 'Mione%20obssesor'}
28th June 2005:
Oooo Great start hurry up with the next chapter
Author's Response: I'm working on it!
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{reviewid: 557980, reviewer: 'amberg93'}
22nd June 2005:
Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you!
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