Reading Reviews for The Heart of Bravery
  
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by sauerkraut_poet Confronting the truth

18th November 2005:
And again, what a suspenseful ending! The one thing I'm confused about though... how does Leslie know Draco's name? It's a little unclear...

Author's Response: I tried to draw attention to the fact that one of the Death Eaters called him by name, I guess I could have made it a bit clearer.

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Review #2, by sauerkraut_poet A Revelation and Decision

18th November 2005:
This was by far my favorite chapter so far. Your writing gets so much better with each one, it's incredible! =) What a beautifully worded letter from Cassie - and yet, he ignores it. =( Can't wait to see what happens next, you have quite a talent for cliffhangers, lol. =)

Author's Response: Ya gotta love 'em. Especially when you're the only one who knows whats next! lol :p

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Review #3, by sauerkraut_poet A time for goodbye

18th November 2005:
Another great chapter, although, like I said before, everything did happen a bit suddenly. I guess I just wish the story was like 15 chapters instead of 5, lol. =)

Author's Response: You never know, it could happen!

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Review #4, by sauerkraut_poet A different kind of encounter

18th November 2005:
This chapter was written well, and had a good element of mystery in it as usual. It did seem a bit OOC of Draco to like her so suddenly though - but other than that it was great! =)

Author's Response: Yes, well I kinda knew that. But I was lazy and couldn't be bothered with the whole gradual thing. I promise to make more of an effort if I rewrite it.

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Review #5, by sauerkraut_poet A Close encounter

18th November 2005:
This is a very good beginning - quite suspenseful and captivating. You have quite a few gorgeous sentences in there. The only major grammar mistake I could find was this: " Cursing himself for an idiot, Draco couldn’t believe he had fallen for the trap. A trap set by none other than Ron Weasley, formidable though he was in combat, mostly due to training from Constant-Pain-in-my-Arse Potter; he was definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed." - I would replace the period so that it reads: " Cursing himself for an idiot, Draco couldn’t believe he had fallen for the trap - atrap set by none other than Ron Weasley. Formidable though he was in combat, mostly due to training from Constant-Pain-in-my-Arse Potter, he was definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed."

There were a couple other things I found confusing: in this part: "Cassie was unlocking her door when she heard running footsteps and shouting." it's like you already expect us to be familiar with Cassie's character, like we're familiar with Draco and all the others. Since we're obviously not familiar with her, some description would be really nice.

I also found the changes in POV a little confusing. Personally I think it would be much more suspenseful if you kept it in Draco's POV, not knowing who the woman was, and then began the next chapter in flashbacks from Cassie's POV. But, that's just my opinion. Hope some of these suggestions helped! =)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the LONG review! This story was my first ever fanfic and the first story that I have ever completed when it wasn't for school or somesuch thing, which made me proud of it. I love getting, and I need good suggestions like yours. Maybe once I've completed Heart of Untouchable, I'll modify this story. Then Untouchable will most likely be updated as well, due to some things a wonderful reviewer has brought to my attention.

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Review #6, by jireh_malfoy17 Confronting the truth

29th June 2005:
wow... what an ending, I definitely didn't expect that.. woah..

Author's Response: Is that a good woah?

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Review #7, by jireh_malfoy17 A Revelation and Decision

29th June 2005:
sob... that's sad, she died!!!! waaaahhh!!!!! sob... grrr... Draco is such coward in this fic, I want to punch him already!!! Grammar i better now, even the punctuations... I love the way you delivered the letter

Author's Response: I know, I know I'm glad you liked it. The grammar is just a fluke... but I'm working on it!

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Review #8, by jireh_malfoy17 A time for goodbye

29th June 2005:
awww.... what's next???!!!! The plot thickens eh..?

Author's Response: You'll see, you'll see.

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Review #9, by minniemcmouse A different kind of encounter

13th June 2005:
Back again and reviewing once more. I still like this story which is a miracle considering how many times I must have read this chapter :oP And away I go!

Author's Response: Thank you! The more reviews the better!

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Review #10, by minniemcmouse A Close encounter

13th June 2005:
Sorry, reading your reviews because I'm sad enough to do so... wrong punctuation hey...? Sorry about that, I'm improving it even as we speak and I want to know what's wrong with it! You ought to email and ask so that you can then tell me :o)

Author's Response: I will ask and get back to you.

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Review #11, by jireh_malfoy17 A different kind of encounter

13th June 2005:
Okay I definitely like this story, please post the next chapters I'm soo excited to know what will happen next. Oh and I have to give you credit for the spacing in this chapter, hehehehe... Post soon... ^-^

Author's Response: Yes, I forgot to space the first chapter. It won't happen again! (hopefully) Two reviews! I must thank you again.

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Review #12, by jireh_malfoy17 A Close encounter

13th June 2005:
Hmmmm... Interesting, definitely interesting... It is fun to read a fic wherein Draco is helpless, in a woman's hand... ^-^ Uhh, though dialogue needs improving 'coz of several wrong puctuation, that's the only error I noticed. But the story, the plot is really interesting. I've never read a fic like this ever before, I find it very funny 'coz of Draco's thoughts and the fact that he doesn't have the situation under his control. I'll keep an eye out for this fic, definitely.

Author's Response: Hey, I'm glad you like it. My beta and I both have a bit of trouble with punctuation. So it would help a lot if you could tell me eaxctly what was wrong. Either by email: cocoidie18@yahoo.com or in a review. Thanx for the review!

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Review #13, by kaatsukii A Close encounter

11th June 2005:
I really like it a lot but I wish you'd post more chapters!!! pretty please? Kaatsukii xx

Author's Response: Hey, I'm glad you like it. I have posted the second chapter early... just 'cause you asked so nicely! Thanks for the review!

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Review #14, by minniemcmouse A Close encounter

10th June 2005:
Ahoy there! Hurrah, you've posted it but I still reckon that other people will reckon it's easier to read with a line between each bit of dialogue but I've changed that so many times and each time there isn't any spacing left on the one you give to me so I can take a hint (eventually...) Cool bannermabob - I can't make them to save my life and I no longer have photoshop which is a shame (damn free trial ran out...) Anyway! I'm babbling now so I'll leave you be, although I'm sticking this on my favourites :o) Cheerio!

Author's Response: So the banner isn't awful? I have an idea for the banner for the new one I sent ya. But I need to find and download the program to morph pictures. It will be awesome if I can find it and it works on the banner. Sorry about the spacing thing. I forgot to fix it 'cause the other site I post at does it automatically and the spacing would have been too much. I hope the second chapter is better. thanx for reviewing!

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