Wowee. I clicked on this story having seen the tag-line for it in your siggy. I couldn't resist a Sirius in the tub story. ;)
I was pleasantly surprised to realize the emotional range and depth of this one shot. The constant dissonance between Sirius' younger years and the present served as a bittersweet reminder of the pain he must have felt. I am always a sucker for stories that delve into the breadth of feelings that Sirius and Lupin feel as the lone survivors of their era, as the products of a childhood brought to a crisp and violent end.
This one shot handled these feelings brilliantly. :) I was very moved by the choice of language and the flow of the story. The instance when the words of the paper seem to rearrange into Sirius' own eulogy brought a lump into my throat and tears to my eyes. After all these years since OOTP was released, the mention of Sirius' death still moves me.
Witness Report Review
Your writing is fantastic and addictive! I love it and I am not just saying that because I like the mental image of Sirius in the tub! Report Review
Oi, I just realized that the rating goes up to 10, I thought 5 was the highest- sorry, all of those other ratings I left you deserved a 10 as well, I'm a newbie on this site >. Report Review
That was really deep. I found this because it said in you sig on the forum that it was Sirus/bathtub, and I had to see what that was. And boy am I glad I checked it out. It is so nice to see Sirus expressing his feelings. Being a person instead of a "man." So yeah. I really liked it. I think I'll give it a 9/10 (because I have given exactly 3 10/10s in my entire time on HPFF, so a 9/10 is pretty good) Report Review
Oh, where to begin? Well, maybe by saying that I liked it! It's a well written story, where practically nothing happends, but it still remains interesting all the way through. Actually I have been planning to read this for some time, because the mention of it in your siggy has captured my interest, the part that says Sirius/bathtub.
I loved particularily this line:
"Death comes to us all, but it should make a habit of being fashionably late."
What also caught my attention specially was Sirius thoughts about therelationship between him and Remus. It seems very logical that they should not really know each other anymore, and especially have a bit difficult to communicate since James is dead, who maybe was closer to both of them. Report Review
I'm glad Timeturner insisted that you write this as well, I loved it! I found the link in your signiture and the Sirius/Bathtub had my complete attention. I can't think of where to begin in telling you how much I like this. You were able to show a side of Sirius that we were becoming familiar with in the series. How you showed his thoughts and emotions was excellent. A very touching and well written piece. Good job and thanks for the excellent read.Author's Response: LOL, my eugoogly fic, it was surprisingly hard to write because I was still pretty new to HP fandom, but still...I was proud and I'm glad you've enjoyed it. Thanks for reviewing and reading! Report Review
Wow, that was brilliant. I don't know how much I could say about it other than you have a great way with words. I don't have a big explanation like a lot of your reviews, but I still find it amazing. I must read your other stuff!*Searches*
P.S. I have read the novelisation of Episode III too, so I smiled a lot when I saw that last line and where you were inspired from. I loved the little poems and such that he placed throughout the book.Author's Response: LOL, sweet and simple, thanks so much for reviewing. And yes, I rather think the novelisation was better than the book *is a bad fan for thinking such things* Report Review
I saw 'Sirus/Bathtub' in your sig and just couldn't resist, though I wish I wasn't so tired so I could write a more coherent review, but suffice to say: WOW. That was some powerful writing! Your descriptive skills are so enviable, pure poetry. And, like, dude. Sirius in a bath. Naked. For like, ages. Author's Response: You can thank BJAuth for pretty much enouraging the idea of an entire fic where Sirius just bathes himself, of course he had to angst while he did it, but I still got him naked and slathering himself up with soap. (I am so very, very shallow). Anyhow, thanks for the review trixy. Sirius/bathtub OTP! Report Review
Very beautiful. It was very well written and I enjoyed it a lot. Good job!Author's Response: Thank you for your review! Report Review
I had to read your other one shots once I had finished your I'll Follow the Sun, and this story is every bit as good. Sirius is shown in here just like him. You are very good at characterization. The very striking difference between your Ginny one shot and this one I feel is the play with paragraphs. You have used paragraphing to emphasis certain lines and this has had a beautiful effect. Here are certain lines I loved from this fic…
“….one would either have to have a death wish or be in stupefied state to get drunk in the presence of a Hippogriff…” - I don’t know why, but this line is so good. Then there is “…. it saddened him to remember that Rita Skeeter was still managing to produce rubbish at the rate of 80 words per minute…” . the realization sort of sentence “….He wasn’t invincible…..” . I also love the final sentence. Good read, Lauren.
This is the first time I am trying to use tags in a review. Hope it comes out allright.Author's Response: The paragraphing thing is something that everyone grabs onto as being a signature of mine, I hadn't realised it was and everyone time someone comments on it I get all giddy because, hey, I have a signature. Your tags worked fine and thank you for the review, glad you enjoyed reading! Report Review
this is really very good noblevyne... I really enjoy it... It's how you really see Sirius there in the end, after coming out of Azkaban, you think back to how the Marauders must have been when they were young, and in school, just carefree, and then you see how it is now, with Sirius and James and Lily dead... Its' rather very sad... Lives wasted really... But it makes you wonder at the same time, will the 7th book entail the deaths of Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, once and for all finishing off the Maruaders? That's a question I hold in my mind. I wonder if the death of Peter Pettigrew will be at the hands of Remus Lupin. Peter has caused Remus so much loss. The lost of his two closest friends, and one other very close friend (Lily)? I really enjoyed your story, as it helps me to bide my time until that 7th book is finally released.Author's Response: Wow, thanks JL, I'm so flattered you've taken the time to read this and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I don't know about Remus killing Peter...it would be poetic justice...or maybe just the regular kind. Report Review
That was great! You've captured Sirius perfectly in ways that I have never even seen before. Sure, I have read Sirius angst, but you bring up things that a lot of people never mention. Things like how he feels he's losing his friends all over again when the memories come back to him. How he misses the memories as much as he misses them. I sometimes forget what Azkaban must have done to him. I love your descriptions, how the water cradled beneath his eyes. The whole thing was almost poetic, I loved that! You also did great with Sirius' actions. His nervousness before reading the paper, the way he kept shifting to distract himself. How he felt dirty after seeing himself with That Rat. (By the way, I loved it when he was wishing he could feed That Rat to Buckbeak). I felt so bad for Sirius, he always puts up such a good show when Harry is around, but once he's alone, he has nothing. Thats a good thing when you can make the reader feel emotion. Have a good one Author's Response: Thanks Bibbs! This started out as me deciding to write Sirius in a bathtub after I was joking with BJAuth but I always felt both sorry for and angry at Sirius throughout of OotP, but I realised that he was completely awash with memories of James and his past while he was living in that house and it must have felt like they were happening yesterday, so I can understand his irritable attitude and immature reactions, even though I was shaking my head at him throughout. Anyway, thanks for your review! Report Review
This was absolutely beutiful! You have really describd the whole situation incredible well! The way the feelings of Sirius comes in to the story, the way the readers can feel themselves IN the story, it's EXCELLENT!Author's Response: Thanks Sweden! Report Review
wow!!!!!!!!! once again wonderfully ritten!!!!!!!!!!!! omg i sunno quite wut to say! grt job!!!! lyl lylAuthor's Response: Thanks again padfoot and prongs! Report Review
Oh it was really, really good! Nice story! Really sad though. Sirius might not be real, but it makes me want to cry!Author's Response: Thanks Scarlett! I do enjoy torturing Sirius, it's just so easy Report Review
Wow, you must really like to write sad thing. If you like writing angst then I can definitely see it. It's not as angsty like others, but its still got that angsty feel to it. You know what I mean? Anyway, when you are writing, you might want to read it over before you submit. First you said Remus wasn't dead, and then you said this,"He was glad that Remus was numbered among the dead, but then, he’d always been a survivor." Yea, so just be sure that you know what you're writing or your readers will be confused. Thats it for this one I think! Anothyer great One-shot.Author's Response: Ah, yes, I had thought I'd caught that little typo (or rather a big one, considering), thank you for pointing it out. Thanks again for reviewing. Report Review
I apologise for the lateness of my reviewing your work, but I was distracted by some erm…very distracting things.
You draw emphasis to this line which made me stop, read, and wait, to try and feel the words for a moment: “They had fought bravely, lions…all of them. We all are lions, but lions on a banner: because of the wind they are rushing onward from moment to moment.” So I sat and thought about that line for a few seconds and it seemed to me as though you summed up, the essence of Gryffindor and Sirius in a single sentence, italicised part really connected with me, and I hadn't even looked past that to the rest of the writing.
I laughed when I read this amusing and witty observation: Death comes to us all, but it should make a habit of being fashionably late. You lightened the moment before pulling at the heart, which made this line: Just words. so much more prolific to the reader. A statement that really stabs a the reader in it's short, static, and simple way.
I find often your words are poetic, rather than prose that isn’t obvious at first but the more I re-read this the more I could see it, especially in lines like this: ” He was having some difficulty reconciling the here and the now with the lost and has been.”
I love the way you have Sirius almost dog like in certain aspects, like growling at the picture of Peter, and wanting to be in the bathwater as a dog. It shows his juvenileness, that lack of a certain type of maturity, which usually stops us from acting as a child would. I love that about him, and you show that brilliantly.
The observations on Remus – A sadly accurate line ”parts of Remus were fractured, some lost entirely” & ”And he could see his own pain reflected in his eyes” this is again one of those moments where you lead us, and show us something, reveal a hidden truth and lets us think on it. I love that you make Sirius rely on Remus so utterly, it seems so right.
Because even heroes fall and stars burn out.” - I love this line, it brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat, it really accentuates the cycle and the end of things. A beautifully sad and tragic statement.
There’s a depth here that I rarely see in any story or Author, on the site, an indescribable something, which pulls at the heart, and I feel, is trying to show me something. It pulls me along and reveals things to me, peeling away the layers of writing, feeling, and description, allowing certain observations and differing perspectives to be seen in the light of day. It's the stark contrast between seeing a thing and understanding it. You pull out little sentences, words and show them to us, direct us to them really and I can’t begin to tell you how much I love that. It takes skill to be that subtle in my mind.
Author's Response: Dena=awesome. When I saw your name on this review got all excited because you know how much I respect your opinion and your work.
That line: read Rumi, amazing poet, his words have a way of speaking right at you...and he seems to know a lot about the Gryffindor spirit.
Um...about the dog aspects, mostly unintentional, funny how I just wrote in those mannerisms, though. I am a strange beast. The child-like behaviour, though, I find that the most interesting part of Sirius' character, that he was never allowed to grow up and become a man and so he doesn't understand some things about how the adult world works, which is why he's so lost now, that he's really from another time and place while the rest of the world moved on around him.
Remus is also something like that, except he had to go on surviving through it, he had to leave it behind and move on and try to forget, but he left a lot of himself behind, his innocence, his trusting. Sometimes I can't decide who's life is the bigger tragedy.
Dude...you have that skill, trust me, you've got it, I'm so chuffed that you see it in my writing. Report Review
I’m a horrible reviewer, I know. It has taken me so long to get around to this story, but I’m finally here to torture you with my rambling…
Now, I’ve read many Eulogy stories, all of which have bored me to no end, but this piece is certainly a gem, it stands apart from the rest. I love the way you begin stories. From the first sentence of the story you’ve managed to create a setting, an atmosphere, that brought me in.
You have subtle, meaningful descriptions – a trait I’ve come to connect to your writing – and your writing style is refined and very elegant. Now, your descriptions were what really drew me in. You have a way with words that is thoroughly captivating. Each emotion and thought is portrayed so well that it’s almost tangible. I love when writers can make me feel what they are putting the characters through. It brings me into my own little world when I’m reading something like this – distractions and noise never seem to bother me when I’m actually immersed into a story.
I love the line in the beginning, the one about them all fighting bravely – like lions. I think that amidst the sadness and angst you captured a bit of Gryffindor spirit there. And I know this almost contradicts what I just said, but I think it adds the to dark tone of the story.
“All that wasn’t and never could be.”
That was such a horribly gut wrenching line. The whole story is laced with depressive moments, but that one just stood out the most to me. Perhaps it was because you separated it from the rest of the paragraph (no, I won’t reiterate on just how much I love the way you do that… that would certainly classify as ‘babbling’).
I liked the correlation, the connection, you showed between Remus and Sirius. You portrayed their friendship in a way that many others seem to fall short on. There was something almost wistful in that part. I think you captured quite a bit there, soemthing that JKR hasn't fully portrayed in the books.
I hate the fact that I can’t think of the proper way to explain just how much I love this piece. ‘Beautiful’ doesn’t seem to cover the scope of your writing. There’s something eerie, yet, eloquent in this story, something that I just can’t get enough of. The storyline is so tragic and you portrayed it perfectly. I don’t cry while reading stories, I really don’t, but this is the second time I’ll have told you that I did. I feel a bit silly really, it’s simply a story, words on a sheet of paper (or in this case a computer screen), yet there’s something here in your writing that just pulls that emotion from me, forces me to feel empathy for the characters. This was a very powerful piece, filled with sentiment and desolation. It is wonderful, just wonderful.
Now... if you want me to sign that restraining order, I’d be willing to give you my Fax number :)Author's Response: Thank christ for Rumi, I don't think I've ever had so much feedback on any one line, who knew 13th century monks could say so much about Harry Potter? I suggest every one read his work, he just speaks to something in you.
I wanted to comment just briefly on Remus and Sirius, because circumstance has smooshed them together when it seems they'd much rather have another person in their place, though they're both grateful that they have the other...strange relationship, I wish I could express it better.
Thank you so much for enjoying this piece and for telling me, I honestly had no idea I could do that to anyone, it seems a strange sort of superpower: sucking out emotion :P
No, no, so long as you don't send me goldfish in the mail, we're cool Report Review
B-E-A-utiful! quote from Bruce Nolan ~DrunkiesAuthor's Response: Thanks for your review Report Review
Beautiful. That's all that needs to be said.Author's Response: I'm really glad you're enjoying my writing, it's always nice to hear such positive feedback. Thanks for taking the time to review my stories. Report Review
whoa...um...i am a little confused...i will have to read it again...partly because i was in a hurry and didn't pay as much attention as was needed...sorry...i'll be sure to read it again...
w00tAuthor's Response: Thanks for your review, hope you get around to reading it again. Report Review
This story was wonderfully written. I liked it. I always felt sorry for Sirius and Buckbeak, being locked up for so long...Author's Response: Thank you, it was terrible for him to escape from one prison only to be locked up in another one. Thank you again for your review, I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
Great fic. I can't really think of anything else, but it's dark and forboding, which is a plus.Author's Response: Why thank you, jembo. Report Review
lauren, that was just...wow...i loved it...twas just so...soo...damnit, can't think of anything else to say but 'wow'...lol the descriptions were beautiful and i like how you showed the relationship b/w remus and sirius. you really hit the nail on the head in terms of characterization. yaaay good job!! :DAuthor's Response: thanks jolie! The relationship dyads in the Marauders are really interesting to explore, I think I'd like to write an entire fic about Sirius' and Remus' friendship because they were more or less drawn closer out of circumstance, like two survivors and I don't think either of them really knows what to say or how to act with the other. Report Review
Because even heroes fall and stars burn out.
Well, you did absolutely wonderful! I think this was one of my favorites FOR this challenge and will certainly add it to my favorites once I sign in. This was wonderfully written and you did a good job. I also loved the angst in there. As you can tell, the line that I have up above is one of my favorites. Even though it was the last line. Wonderful job! *claps* Author's Response: Thanks Lily! That last line was a bit of a dash and grab from numerous other places, similar lines have been used in a lot of things but it is a really poignant sentence that I thought was a perfect ending. Thanks for your review! Report Review
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