Fair Dose is a pretty interesting name. Where'd you come up with that? Interesting first chapter... you're definately taking a different approach to the wizarding experience. I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this story. The cliffhanger was a good way to leave things off too.

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There are a few typos which need editing, beta might be able to help you out there, or reading it aloud to yourself might help. This is an interesting start to what will hopefully be a very interesting story, I like the characters so far, they are engaging, and the end of the story is a hook indeed, which has me wondering, what next? Good stuff.~ Lucid

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That was a really good beginning to your story. You introduced an interesting and realistic group of main characters and the ending was a perfect cliffhanger. The plot is really good as well - original and intriguing. There were a couple of minor typos, like "our" instead of "out" and some missed commas, but otherwise it was very well-written. This looks like it'll be a really interesting story and I'd like to see where you take it.

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A different start, I like it. Check for some typos, you missed an "a" in about near the beginning, and at one point you have Fare reaching into his "bad" instead of bag. Those are the only two I recall specifically. You've got an odd little group started here, and I got the impression that Auria is a witch but doesn't realize it. It should be interesting to see how they handle the introduction to Platform 9 3/4 and a chance to really see the wizarding world. You have a nice mix of conversation and dialogue with good descriptions. Looking forward to learning more about this group and the fourth young woman who causes them to go through the barrier in the first place.

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Ohhhhhh. Wow, you are imaginative. This is an insane story plot. Wow. wow. wow. I can't wait for more.

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