Another fantastic short fanfic! I thought that this was a very well written and daring piece. The fact that you hint at Lupin's coming betrayal is almost blashphemous in Potterpaedia. This stalwart is perhaps the only man you would trust in such a situation, yet you manage to convincingly portray his world weary response to the whole situation as one of resignation. Chilling!Author's Response: Thank you very much, if nothing else, this is the best thing I have ever written. I know, the blasphemy! Yet, I couldn't write the ending without it. :o) Report Review
Wow... this was interesting... I like it... I almost want to know who the spy truly is. Poor Remus... he always ends up on the poor side of things. Just as a side note... I thought I'd let you know that my fic "Never the Same" has been updated. Thought you might be interested since it is an answer to your challenge. Keep up the good writing!Author's Response: Aha, I'll wander over that way and have a good read when I'm not quite as busy! Glad you liked it anyway :o) Report Review
Ok, that was unexpected. I am torn, really torn, because your writing here is quite wonderful, it twists and turns the canon and emotion, for Remus and the reader, together. It's very convincing, and if we didn’t know and love Remus already, I think I would be able to believe it but I can’t ever believe he would do, or had ever done this, as a character, death would have been preferable. This is very well written though, and I totally support the idea or something new and unseen, and I congratulate you on writing a topic that might get most Lupinites, foaming at the mouth in anger, you are a braver girl than I :)Author's Response: Oh no, I'm certrain that Remus would never dream of doing something like that in a million years, but it's nice to write something that goes against character in such a way every now and again. I'm sure that, as you said, he would sooner die than go to Voldemort. If there's one thing that I've written that I'm pleased with then it's this, so it always cheers me when I get reviews for it. It's just interesting the way that canon has been extended by fanfiction. I don't think that there really has been enough written about Remus to set that idea in stone, and he might just be an incredible actor and loyal Death Eater. Unlikely, but you never know. :o) Report Review
NO! Lupin CAN NOT! Ohhh... this is good. The summary put me off for a long while, but this is really good. A couple of spelling mistakes I'd like to point out, but nothing major.
In 'The Last Grains of Sand', why did Dumbledore send Snape off to his death? I didn't get that.
Dumbledore is getting to be really annoying. Bloody hell.
Great fics though.Author's Response: The summary put you off...? Really? Why? Sorry, I'm quite interested now because I thought it was a tolerable summary... In the Last Grains of Sand Dumbledore thought that the only way for Snape not to be realised as the spy would be to send him straight back in and act as if nothing had happened. That and Dumbledore's slightly mad. ('Dumbledore' being code for 'the author' at this point). I just don't like Dumbledore so I make him do stupid things. Anyway, glad you liked them... :o) Report Review
I reviewed this story before, but I didn't exactly leave much comment, so I thought I'd come back and review it again =)
Fabulous entry! I love your description of the suspiscious minds, it's very cleverly written and you choose your words very well.
There's a very harsh reality written here. "There's a spy in the Order..." and the way it's described. I imagine the author of this story to be in his or her forties, just because it's written with a real maturity.
The ending is simply perfect. I can really relate to your character here. I'm absolutely in love with this story.
Author's Response: Thanks! (inane grin goes here) I'm glad that you still like it and think it's well written. I really ought to write more one-shots just because they're always better than anything else I write sadly. It's strange that you think this is so well written and that you can relate to the character because I've always thought of characterisation and points of views as my weaknesses... how very odd. (inane grin still here) Thanks again! :o) Report Review
Wow! I loved it... I alway read one-shots that leaves me wanting more, but this one was perfectly cunstructed. It gave me the feeling that I was allowad a peek in to the mind of Lupin and not really reading fanfiction at all! (does that make any sense?) I found your description captivating... ok I am gonna stop now before I make a fool out of myself! Just wanted you to know how nice it was to read a one-shot and not be wondering where the rest was...! -HidurasAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm very glad you enjoyed it and I tried to make it as conclusive as possible so that people weren't really wanting much more to come from it since it annoys me with one-shots where I end up wanting more chapters to help me understand a little better. I'm going to write more one-shots in future... :o) Report Review
I like this story a lot. It is something I can see actually happening and it has a real life edge to it and it's not sugar coated. I can't wait to read your other stories.Author's Response: Thank you... I'm glad you enjoyed it! :o) Report Review
Very interesting. I like the fact that it takes a moment before you realize it's Remus. Then his description of the suspicious glances that come his way at the meeting, as he is once again suspected as the spy in the midst. The bombshell is that he was asked, and that he expects to be asked to join Voldemort again, and that this time he is considering it because it is what is expected of him. How sad...how sad for him about his family, the Order. Deep down, I don't think he'll buckle, just like he didn't last time. But he will withdraw into himself again, or at least I see that as more likely based on what you wrote. Very nice one-shot.Author's Response: I agree with you - I don't think that he would buckle and join Voldemort either but I think that leaving it hanging would make people perhaps consider the possibility. Anyway, thank you for reading & reviewing and I'm glad you liked it! :o) Report Review
Okay, new member of the Fitchburg Finch here. First thing's first: "A suspicious mind is a dangerous thing, once let loose it will devour any sense of trust which once surrounded it, leaving it isolated from all but feeling relatively safe within itself." I think the first comma should be a semi-colon, but besides that very well done structure. Long paragraphs, which are kinda hard to read, but very well done stuff (again).
"There is a spy in the Order of the Phoenix." Suspense. Remus feels bitter yet... in awe of Dumbledore. Very gripping. And the offer from Voldemort was a nice touch. Good fic overall.Author's Response: Thank you and I think you're right - it should be a semi colon. Thanks for pointing that out and I'll go change it. I know that long paragraphs are hard to read but there's no dialogue to cut it up and I don't think that short paragraphs would read quite as well if I changed the formatting of it. Report Review
Very insightful and moving portrait. And it does seem more of a portrait than a fanfic. It's missing the common things one finds such as dialogue, descriptions (other than emotional, of course) and characterization. I like that you have taken this out of the normal realm of writing and ventured into something new. It provides a great fresh take on the character and acts as a portrait into the character's soul. It would be nice to see you continue this with the same idea for each of the Marauders. Excellent work.Author's Response: Thank you, I think that every now and again people ought to write in different ways and this is certainly different from my ususal writing style (which typically ends up as almost all dialogue). I'd quite like to continue it with the same idea for each of the other Marauders but I doubt I could characterize any of the other three particularly well. Thanks for reviewing! :o) Report Review
This is a really well-written one shot. I like the way you've written it in first-person present tense - it gives the story an interesting feel, as though the reader is in the role of Lupin. You've portrayed his thoughts wonderfully with the way that he suspects others, yet at the same time knows that they suspect him. The way that he relates to the past, when the same thing happened, also ties the story together nicely. Wonderful piece of writing!Author's Response: Thanks! :o) I wrote it in the present tense to try and give an idea of his thoughts as they entered his mind and I'm glad that you thought it was portrayed well! Thanks again... Report Review
Hey Rosie, I went ahead and didn't wait for the review sched. I love this! This is a wonderfully written soliloquy from one of the well-loved characters in HP universe; Lupin is such a tragic character. Such perceptive thoughts from a man, one of those who was forced to grow up faster because of the first war. Just one bit though :) [...I am sat alone...]Author's Response: Hey there, I'm glad you liked it (I ought to have that on paste all the time, it seems like it's all I ever say). :o) Report Review
ok, im reviewing again. this really looks like it should be a whole story but i just read that its a one-shot! i checked and it says it's not completed. (maybe you didn't get around to changing it yet?) Aw, I wish you'd write more.Author's Response: Aha - I always forget to change it to say that it's completed *looks suitably foolish* so thanks for pointing it out. I'd like to write more on it but I really don't know what I'd write so I figured I'd best leave it alone now :o) Report Review
I don't know why i read this. It seemed like a good story. At first i lost my train of thought and then i got into it. The point is: This is very good so far and I can't wait until you write more. :-)Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it :o) Report Review
Poor Remus. I liked it. I've been checking out your other stories as well. I must say that I really like them. All of them appears to be very well written. Very good for a 15 year old! Congratulations. I can't believe all the reviews you've gotten! Man, I wish I was as good as you on writing fanfic's... I'm 15 too, by the way. From Sweden. Where are you from? ~ Sam MAuthor's Response: I'm sure I changed it so that my bio says I'm sixteen now... and I'm really not that good lol, I'm glad you like my work so far and I'm from England :o) Report Review
wow... that's all I can say, this is so different from anything I've read before... so different, and so amazing too! It gives a new sense to the word 'trust' that I would never have imagined... Poor Remus!
Arg... what am I saying? Horrible, nasty, fifthy Remus, traitor, shame on you!!!! How DARE you think about betraying your friends... grrrrrrrrrrrrr.... you're evil, Rosie, for just thinking one second about that... lol anyway great job!Author's Response: lol, thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it! (I really ought to have that on paste all the time, that's all I ever say!) and I do try to make some bizarre twist at the end of the things I write, just so that it's not too predictable :o) Report Review
I like it....it's different.....yeah......
Good Job! ^^Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it although it's ... different ... however you meant that :o) Report Review
Hi there! Just had to check your stories out! I'm really glad I did, too. This is a great fic- really well written. It definately made me think. Great job =)Author's Response: Yeah well don't get used to it, the others are terrible! Especialy Hopefully Interesting Sixth Year, urgh! Still... Alternate Ending isn't that bad I suppose :o) Glad you had a look though and liked this one at any rate. Report Review
hey rosie.. i was jsut thinking.. this may sound really weird.. but I think it would be really actually kewl if you made Remus betray them. not because he wants to.. but because he has to. you could write so much about it, when the others find out and everything. i know this sounds really weird, but i think that would be a story worth reading... and knowing me... i dont really get on with stories very well, i start reading one, even a book, and put it down halfway through. anyways i also wanted to say again that this was really good.. and after reading that review that you answered, saying that 'Remus would never do that... right?' it just gave me that tinge of suspision that Remus could actually be capipble of doing that... no matter how much he seems to be on the good side, being harry godfather and all. your one-shot just showed that he really could do something like that... it was only a matter of choice. well done rosie.. you ahve got me thinking... and i am going to be on this for a long time now... seeing how long this review is. is this story another clue? because if it is... than that is REALLY kewl.. but i doubt it though, you already ahve '36' did you say? anyways please write more of alternate ending soon, because you know i luv ya! :P ta ta lotsa love EvelynAuthor's Response: This story isn't a clue, lol, it's just a one-shot. Honestly! I really don't know how I'd write Remus betraying them but I have a new plot in mind for a sequel to An Alternate Ending so depending on where my thought processes go with that, you never know what's going to happen with it. Remus probably could do something like that if he had no choice and honestly felt that it was the right way to go but as I said, I don't think I'd be capable of writing it :o) Report Review
this is about lupin isn't it? its written VERY VERY well! so i would like to congratulate you, Rosie. does this mean that there will be something about Remus almsot regretting not taking up voldies offer in the next story? wow.. lol this was very good.. and please update your other one ! please! :P lotsa love EvelynAuthor's Response: There won't be anything like that in the next story, I just wanted to write this when I got stuck writing the Godric's Hollow chapter. I'll update the other one now :o) Report Review
This is a very in depth and detailed account you have here. I love the characterization you have here... it's as if I am a fly on the wall able to sense all of the emotions of your character. Excellent work.Author's Response: Thank you very much, I'm really glad you enjoyed it especially the characterisation since that always worries me :o) Report Review
I love stories that made me think...and this one was very philosophical. You captured him perfectly, being suspicious of everyone around, but yet being succumbed to everyone's suspicions. Very nicely done...ooh, but the ending...Remus would never ever turn traitor^^...anyway good job on this one-shot=)Author's Response: Yeah, I know he would never turn traitor but I wasn't sure how I was going to finish it and decided to make at least a vague effort at giving it a slight twist :o) and I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
very interesting, and very deep. I like htat, the way his htoughts just circled...makes me feel good 'cause i do that all the time. Don't know 'bout hte end htough..what happens next?! =)Author's Response: There is no next... Hence it being in the one-shot catregory :oP I'd like to try and write more but I don't know what I'd write so I don't think I'll bother :o) Report Review
that was very good! really good... its so interesting at the end... it sort of makes you think a bit but I love Remus a lot, one of my favorite characters in the story. anyway, this is a good one-shot. i like the part where you talk about how they have "suspicious eyes" and that... great job with it!Author's Response: Thank you! I've been dying for reviews to this story thing so far :o) I like twisty endings to think, although admittedly this one was a bit crap :oP Report Review
Oh my gosh! So, I just read chapter 49 so I have spy on the brain. Please don't have Remus turn traitor after being captured. (*makes puppy dog face that is unresistable*) Remus is the best and I just can't see him turning tail (lol) and becoming a traitor. This piece was written really well. It was a bit different from the way you normally write but it was still really great. You make Remus sound so philisophical (sp?) and wise. I love it. I think you should do another one-shot of this same meeting but with Snape. That would be so awesome. (Yes, I know. I'm completely obsessed with Snape) *Grins* Like I said, this piece rocked (I keep using this word! Why can't I think of something better?) And you definitely deserve imaginary chocolate for it. Yummy!Author's Response: Remus wouldn't turn traitor, don't you worry :o) I'm glad you liked it and I was in a rather philosophical mood, any one-shots I write in the future would probably be in a similar style. Hurrah for imaginary chocolate!! :o) Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection