nice one !!!!!! Report Review
Bit behind in my reviewing, I apologize. This is a dark fic as other people have mentioned, but I think your characterization is amazing. You've pegged his emotions perfectly and provide a great look at what we only get glimpses of in JKR's work. Excellent job, your descriptions are fantastic! Report Review
Tony! I'm sorry I'm late. I thought I reviewed already. Anyway, I think you write a good Harry angst. One thing I noticed is the flow. It seems a bit monotonous. Just that, though ;)
Come to think of it, I used to write in the angsty first person pov too. But it didn't work for me. Report Review
Your angsty!Harry is quite alright, simple in his thoughts and concise. There are some spelling errors here and there, and some misused words. Grammar errors could be found and some missing punctuations. But these things could be corrected by your beta. It should be Grimmauld Place not Grimmald.
Though, I'm not a Harry/Ginny shipper I can swallow their romance here, not too mushy.
Profanities, though, they could spill out from Ron's lips but not from Harry's (i'm basing this from the first 5 books). Why is Harry in hiding? It was kind of a diversion from his personality; canon Harry would have been itching for a confrontation. Report Review
It's an interesting characterisation although I don't think that despite the depressed feelings that your language has to be quite so vulgar all the way through, it doesn't make me desire to read on if there was anymore. There are a few mistakes in spelling here and there but nothing drastic. I think that Harry wouldn't be so depressed after Sirius' death and everything that's going on with him. I know he'd lost someone he cared about but he seems like the sort of person who's going to fight on despite what's already happened because he has no choice. I don't think that he would become so black and I don't think that JKR is going to spend her next two books talking about Harry swearing incessantly and thinking grim thoughts. Still, it was an interesting insight into the idea of his depression even though I don't like H/G and rarely read stories in the first person. Report Review
You've done an exceptional job at conveying Harry's dark thoughts. It's very descriptive without being overly done or too whiny. I really loved how Ginny was Harry's light in the darkness, the light that will lead him. It's sad that a lot of Harry's friends have died and that Voldemort has become such a large threat that everyone is hiding. How can Harry defeat him if he's afraid to face him and is in hiding? There were some grammatical errors that could be fixed but nothing that took away from the flow of the story. Will there be other chapters? Report Review
A very Dark story indeed, you seem to be taking it in a very interesting direction. Its nice to see a story from Harry's unique standpoint, it helps the reader connect that little bit closer with Harry. I think it might be nice to hear what Ginny can contribute, as well as interaction between Harry and Ginny. I really enjoyed reading this :) ~Lucid Report Review
You write Harry well! I don't think I have ever seen Harry in 1st person, nice.. and I always "liked" dark Harry... A couple of things: "...she was his small pinnacle of light.." Shouldn't it be "my small pinnacle..." ??
Oh.. I think it would make the story even better if you had just a little conversation. Harry tells all about how he is feeling and how he reacts to things, but it would be nice to se a glimpse of how he acts. Well as I said I like it so far, and I will be looking for an update! Report Review
This is really good. It's not often that one sees Harry's POV in first person, but you've pulled it off wonderfully with his emotions and frustrations. You're writing style is great as well - very deep and descriptive. It's also cool because you've made it a romance without all the mushy stuff. I'd like to see where this story goes, it's started off really well. Author's Response: Thanks for all that. I'm almost done with another chapter, and I'll probably have it up tomorrow. Thanks again for the comment!
-The_Used Report Review
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