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75 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Mrs Sirius Black 

28th October 2011:
Poor Sirius :( Looks like Peter is already close with the death eaters hmm..

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Review #2, by Lily_Ginny_Mione 

8th November 2009:
Woah! That was pretty intense! Loving it!!
~xxoo♥

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Review #3, by DemetersChild 

8th October 2009:
Can't wait to see how this turns out

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Review #4, by Tonks21094 

30th September 2009:
Oh, gosh, I love your stories so so so so much!

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Review #5, by georgina_bass 

29th September 2009:
omg...so saaad!:'(poor siri...i just didnt get 1 thing:is james madly in love with lily or no?

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Review #6, by Christina 

27th September 2009:
Pretty good. I am interested to see how this next chapter turns out. I am glad you acctually spell check your work. . . it is annoying when authors don't on these sites.

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Review #7, by Beautiful Darkness 

23rd September 2009:
Oh gosh, you present some extremely valid moral reasoning which I find profoundly intriguing. You write with a beauty that so many overlook nowadays- I commend you.

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Review #8, by buddy 

25th August 2009:
The plot thickens! I really love how your story, unlike so many others, actually has a plot that runs deeper than the romance and fluff. I really adore the relationships you're setting up here, especially between Sirius, James and Remus.

I adore you.

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Review #9, by SilverShadow04 

2nd December 2008:
^_^ Loving this story already and am most definitely making it a favourite! I don't really have anything critical to say so this review ends here.

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Review #10, by Quiddichref 

11th April 2008:
"Lily Evans is just way to aggravating for me" Opps. What did I say in the previous review about spell checkers? :=)

Sorry...can't help it. I know you try way harder than most to eliminate typos, and it's hard to get them all. I make them. I miss them, too. I know you consider yourself done with this story, but if you still care about it, I would advise reading this chapter one last time for typos.

I think you're really brave to try to tell virtually all of a story through dialogue. At this point, I couldn't do it. In this case, it's worked really well for you, helping you to develop the characterizations without having to use long, descriptive paragraphs.

The interesting thing is that the opposite approach works just as well in stories done by several other very competent HPFF writers...atruwriter, sugarquills23, and seeker68, to name three of my favorites. All of them tend to have more balance between description of events and conversations as a technique for advancing both the plot and the characters. I'll freely admit to being a whole lot better at describing action than I am at letting it unfold through dialogue.

I am not a Marauders fan. Having come to Harry Potter only in July of '07 with "Deathly Hallows", I'm still in the stage where what happened after the DH Epilogue is way more interesting to me than the back stories. But I'll keep reading. Maybe you'll make a convert! :=)

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Review #11, by joojoo 

29th November 2007:
Quite a few interesting points I picked up in this chapter.

First, there was the whole Peter, thing. Great foreshadowing, having him come over with the Slytherins. The protective arm Sirius, I htink, threw over this shoulder shows him as a bit of a belonging almost... but I digress. The Death Eaters have obviously picked up on Peter's tendency to congregate with the "big boys" and by helping Peter in the tight spot he was apparently in (assuming the statement was true), they've allowed for Peter to question whether they really are all that bad.. a thought that might in future lead to betrayal.. despite living so close with Sirius.

I picked up on one typo in this chapter, though I'm sorry to say I can't seem to find it now. :S That's a bit of a pain..

You've hinted at Sirius' deeper feelings towards Lily here, and you've specifically mentioned reasons for them to never get together. And it's so great, because had he been any other character, he would have fought to get to her regardless. But it's Sirius, and he wouldn't. Like I said, your word is canon.

I like how you made it a big deal when Sirius came out with the fact that his family sided with the death eaters - in loads of stories they make it sound like a given that they would. This shock adds emphasis to the naïvite of everyone else around him... even James and Remus.

And talking of Remus, the fact that he could identify with Sirius' decision was really well done. Also, juxtaposing the two characters and their goals (Remus' want of acceptance and Sirius' want of freedom) gives them each more of an individuality and sets them apart, so to speak. The fact that Remus acknowledges this difference might hint to the fact that he knows that he isn't the same - and perhaps thinks of Sirius as out of his league, which I think is a very Remus-like way of thinking.

That was quite a long analysis of this little paragraph there. I hope you liked it, because I enjoyed reading it (again) a lot. You've developed the story well, and (to quickly bring in another point before I wrap this up) you managed to show the side of James that does listen to his friends advice - partcularly Sirius' - even when it goes against what he wants. The divide of the girls and boys, too, doesn't seem as unnatural as you see in most other marauder stories, so that's fab.
~joojoo
x

Author's Response: Thanks for so much for taking the time to read and review!

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Review #12, by knau 

29th November 2007:
Woah, I didn't see that coming. It is really good though! :-)

-Kat

Author's Response: Thanks for so much for taking the time to read and review!

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Review #13, by marauder_lover 

28th November 2007:
Nice development, the plot seems a lot more substanital that a lot of fan fictions and you can't help but feel involved in it. I like your portrayl of all the Marauders, excellent job. Can't wait to read more

Author's Response: Thanks for so much for taking the time to read and review!

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Review #14, by blahla_chica 

26th September 2007:
Oh this is very good indeed. The story is fantastic and you have great style.
Thanks.

Author's Response: Thanks for so much for taking the time to read and review!

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Review #15, by Strawcherry 

20th September 2007:
It's funny how in most pieces I've read James is the more responsible of the trio, while Sirius never even attempts to be serious (no pun...!), but in yours it's the other way around. Well, maybe I have phrased that wrong. In your story Sirius is definitely the most grown up of the two, and although I'm sure most HP-readers wouldn't agree with you, I think it does make sense for Sirius to hide his worries underneath his ever smiling façade. He's, at this point, been through a lot more than James has, coming from a picture perfect family.
The dialogue in this piece is very strong, and as many of the other readers have said, it is obvious that you have focused on that rather than on the descriptions. You have done that very well, and although the story maybe could use just a little bit more of description, I am really impressed with it so far!
Oh, and by the way, I noticed one tiny spelling mistake halfway down the beginning: "Lily Evans is just way to aggravating for me." should be '...too aggravating...'

Author's Response: Thanks for so much for taking the time to read and review!

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Review #16, by musicgirlhp14 

12th July 2007:
I'm not entirely sure yet, how I feel about this story. I love the writing, and how you have all the characters interact with each other, but I am a little confused about some things. What's the relationship between Lily and Sirius? How do James and Lily end up together? And how can James be so understanding of the whole thing? I'm thinking the later question doesn't really apply to this story. I'm hoping these questions will be cleared up though, soon. Good chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

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Review #17, by Pronunciation_Hermy_One 

1st July 2007:
As always, I’m enjoying this thoroughly so far. I’m a bit uneasy with the idea of Sirius sneaking out to go to a… brothel, after leaving Lily. Not the general idea so much, but rather his age is the factor that bothers me. Certainly not so much that it detracted from the read- it was phenomenal as always. I suppose it’s just been a bit too long since I was 17/18 years old, but it seemed a bit… old to me. Fantastic chapter, I love the way you give us insight into what is occurring in the story and time without spelling it out- masterful!

~C/PH1


Author's Response: Thanks for the review!!

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Review #18, by AndrinaBlack 

5th June 2007:
I had some thought in the first half of the chapter about what I was going to say, but I forgot because it was such a good read... But there were other things I still remember. I'm not quite sure about how old the people are in this fic, but I found it a bit unlikely that Sirius would go at that age to some kind of brothel and that there would be one at Hogsmeade. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't particularly bother me, but I just found it unlikely.

One thing though was that at one point I completely forgot that the two other girls were there too. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but anyway...

After that I have to say that I still really liked this chapter. I liked especially the end where they talked about their aliances and who Sirius should support or pretend to. It's quite realistically written how the boys think about the war and wonder what they should do, and especially that they really are afraid.
I hope I made some sence...
-Annina

Author's Response: Very behind on reviews (again) but wanted to drop a note before I forgot what I was thinking! I think you are probably right about Sirius and his activities but (there's always one) I considered him similiar to a Navy Sailor (my husband is one so I speak from experience!) and Hogsmeade, at the time, his port of call, so to speak. It was where he ran to to try and get away from the things plaquing him. This is further developed later on with a conversation with Lily so hopefully, it will make more sense to you when you reach that point (if you keep reading anyway!) It was pointless about the two girls...they were just there to show it was a "group" outing and to negate any "James/Lily" questions people may have had early on in the story. People were worried that this was all behind James' back and I wanted to clear that up by having a girl there for him. That's why they only received a brief mention.

I'm so glad you are enjoying this, I'm definetly loving all of your wonderful reviews! You make me think about things that I haven't in awhile and it makes me love this story all over again. And I love that you are turning into a Sirius/Lily shipper!!! Welcome to the dark side! :D


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Review #19, by squaredancer 

30th May 2007:
Wee! There was some Severus in THIS chapter! -bookmarks it- It was fleeting, but it was there! :-P He was brilliant in all his greasy glory.

-cough- Any way. Here you go, adding more depth to the story. You've absolutely gotten me enthralled now, and it's only the second chapter. BTW, did I tell you that I LOVE Sirius? He's so... he's almost like Draco (or how I imagine Draco to be, at least) in his own way which, when I think about it, is actually rather fitting considering he's a Black, after all. It just never actually occurred to me that he might be the way you've portrayed him. You've managed to skew every "fanon" opinion of Sirius I've ever had, and I can't actually say it's a bad thing. ^_^

I can't wait to read the next one!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!!

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Review #20, by Raspberry Jelly 

1st May 2007:
aww so good love it

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!!

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Review #21, by Tearlit 

13th April 2007:
This is still going good. Some of it was a bit confusing, and I'm wondering, what year are they in?

Author's Response: Thank you!!

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Review #22, by almost_witch 

28th November 2006:
You write this brilliantly, well done :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

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Review #23, by whyareyoucrying 

8th October 2006:
Ooh, awesome. I like how you have a main plot going on, but you also have little subplots with it. I looooooved this chapter! I like the little conversation between Sirius, James, and Remus. Loved it all!! 10/10 totally, and looking forward to the rest!!

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #24, by Lunadragonfly 

17th July 2006:
Well now, you sure know how to make a story interesting, LoL, really that was great. I loved the banter you have between james and lily, I was hoping you'd still have it in here, as well as the whole james knowing somewhat about the relationship [between sirius and lily], I'm SOOOOOOOOO happy about that. I have read a few lily and remus stories, and its always behind james' back, and i dont like it.... lol, but this is cool, james isn't in the dark... Well all over its going great i'm relly liking it... ~ ~ ~ Keira-Lee

Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review!

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Review #25, by Jessamina 

30th May 2006:
This was so brilliant. It feels so real. James is dead-on...or at least I feel he is because I see Harry in him. Alot. Can't wait for some more Sirius and Lily, you write them so deliciously. Adding you and this story (as well as the S/Hr one-shot) to my favorites. I get the feeling I will be reading this over and over and over...

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

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