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5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Rumpelstiltskin 

14th September 2017:
Hello! Now that I'm finally back, I'm *finally* getting to reviewing challenge entries for grading. (If you prefer your reviews elsewhere, please feel free to message me on the Forums and I can transfer them.)

I feel so badly for Harry. Not only has he already had an extremely tough life, but I can imagine that the aftermath of the war was probably one of the toughest of all (which is what you have exemplified in this piece).

In this predicament, I find it's often helpful for the protagonist to have something to focus on (something to give them that little extra will to live). You've done a good job with this by bringing Harry's affection toward Ginny Weasley into the picture, where he's focused on winning her back.

I particularly enjoyed the scene where he's venting to his dead parents at their grave. It's a sad moment, but it also allows for the reader to gain some insight into what Harry's feeling, which I'm certain will be useful for the rest of the pieces.

As part of a whole, I feel like this will be a strong start and makes a great introduction to the remainder of the companion stories. As a stand-alone story, it's mostly strong enough to stand on its own. Your writing is clear and concise, and I appreciate the job you did with Harry's characterization (especially since you are displaying him in such a grief-filled state).

Overall, I think you've done a good job so far, and I look forward to reading the next section.

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hey Rumpel! Thanks for taking time for the reviews :)

I'm glad you liked the scene where he's at his parents' graves. I thought it was the best way to kind of show where Harry's head was at in this particular moment, and he probably felt like he didn't have a lot of other people he could talk to. Sure, people would listen, but they might not fully understand, y'know?

I'm glad you liked Harry's characterization! He's one of those characters I struggle to write the most, so I'm glad I managed to do an okay job here.

Thanks for the review! ♥


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Review #2, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

12th April 2017:
Miraculously, she still considered him a war hero.

You know how Harry is. Heís always so self-deprecating. I understand he has gone through so much loss and he blames himself, I mean why wouldnít he? Plus, he never had a family, a real family, until he was plopped into the wizarding world but all he ever brought people when he appeared was grief. Or so he thinks. That has to be extremely hard and is a sad way to live life. No matter what heíll always blame himself and that just isnít fair. In order to properly let go he has to accept the fact that it wasnít all because of him.

They would have fought Voldemort with or without him.

If he could feel it, then at least he would know he was still alive.

Heís so depressed. Itís unfortunate because he has done so many great things but depression doesnít discriminate. It hits whoever, whenever.

I thought it was super sweet to see Harry visiting his parentsí graves. I donít see that too often in stories. Why wouldnít he? Why wouldnít he visit a ton of graves, a good majority of the people he cared for died. He would pay his respects somehow, wouldnít he? Iím surprised he actually spoke out loud to them. Harry always seems like to me less of a talker. I thought he would internalize it and maybe in his mind heíd be standing there talking to them without really talking to them, does that make any sense?

Heís going to win Ginny back, well, alright then! Thatís the perfect way to get your life back in order. Iím prepared to see how. I always wondered how they got together. I donít think she would have made it easy for him and I can understand why. Excellent chapter. Your writing just flows so easily it went by in a breeze.

Author's Response: Hey Deeds!

I completely agree. Harry would definitely go visit gravesites, especially to his parents. I think part of the reason I chose to write dialogue here was so that it would break up some of the exposition, tbh, but you're right, he's definitely less of a talker and more internalized. It does make sense :)

Haha right?! Go win back the girl and that'll solve all your problems! I totally agree that she'd give him a hard time about it.

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it&hearst;


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Review #3, by MuggleMaybe 

3rd December 2016:
JILL! Hello dear! ♥

First of all, I apologize that this is a bit late. Eep.

Second of all, if I'd known this was going to be so sad I wouldn't--

No, I'm just kidding. (DEFINITELY kidding!) It is very sad of course, but sad can be good. In this case, sad is moving and compassionate and desperate and so very Harry-like.

I've only read a little of your Ginny/Seamus writing although it's a ship I find interesting. It's cool that you decided to look at it through Harry's eyes here.

I think what breaks my heart the most in this story is Harry's need to escape from the Burrow, which has always been this safe-haven for him. With the war over, he deserves to feel safe and at peace, but he doesn't and I find it very believable but also devastating.

And he visits James' and Lily's graves. Oh my poor heart. The things he said... I really hope the rest of this story has him arriving at a happier place because *sobs*

One thing I really like is the parallel between Harry's determination to try again with Ginny, and what we know was James' determination to win over Lily. It's like the Potter men just have to go for the one who got away, and I love that echo.

You pack SO much emotion into this short one-shot chapter, and I found Harry very in character, even though I wish he didn't have to feel this way. Brilliant job, as usual.

My semester will be over soon, and I definitely hope to catch up on a lot of fic during my break. Starting with this story (and a box of tissues, because jeez)!

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Eep, Renee! HAI! ♥

I'm so glad you thought it was Harry-like. As you probably know, he's not a character I write often because I find him to be very difficult so I'm glad you thought he was in character here.

Yeah, I figured the Weasleys would be very smothering, and especially after the Senny stuff, I could see him using a break so I'm glad that you could, too, even without reading everything else. ♥

You know, I didn't even notice that parallel, but you're totally right! Those Potter boys and their determination :P

Thank you so much for the lovely review! And also, I miss you and hope to see you around more. Good luck with the end of your semester!!

♥♥Jill


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Review #4, by victoria_anne 

11th October 2016:
Oh Merlin. Am I even ready for this?! Methinks thou will make me sad-eth.

Never mind, there's Senny ♥

I love this: Whatís a Savior to do when thereís no one left to save? It really jumps out at me. I think it's perfect for Harry right after the war, he'd be without a purpose, really. With no school, Horcruxes, bad guys, girl... It really resonates here.

What are all these shards on the floor? Oh, it's just MY HEART! Gah, Harry at his parents' graves is just... gah D: Beautiful, beautiful writing though, Jilly.

I had planned to just review this chapter for now, and come back later, but he's going to get the girl back?! MUST READ ON!

EXCELSIOR!

Author's Response: OH HAI, B!

I really loved that line too; I felt like it summed him up quite nicely after the war.

Err.. sorry for making you sad? But I'm not.



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Review #5, by TidalDragon 

1st October 2016:
Howdy Jill! So...as promised, you are getting reviews on this Hinny collection you've assembled. Though I came in expecting it, I might be as angry as Harry right now (kidding :p).

It's always interesting to me the way that people portray the characters post-war and what the particular reactions are. Given that Hinny is my OTP, I tend to disagree with the blame-game or moved-on ones on a headcanon level, but they always intrigue me.

ANYWAY, I thought the emotional language you used in this piece was easily its strongest element. We could absolutely feel Harry's emotions from beginning to end here, and even though sometimes he was telling us exactly what they were, that directness seemed appropriate to how raw it all still is for him.

Closely following the emotions was the description. This might be surprising (or not) because of how much of this piece is more in Harry's head, but I thought it strengthened the story that you didn't let that get you lazy about them when they were around.

If I had a bit of CC, it's that I didn't think the dialogue was as strong in comparison, but it was ultimately a minor thing in light of the whole story.

On to the next installment!

Author's Response: Hello, Kevin! I'm still surprised that you made your way over here, so thank you so much for the reviews!

I'm so glad that you could feel what Harry was feeling; I wrote this piece on a whim of inspiration, but I had a clear image of what I wanted to accomplish. And I've been working on my descriptions in all of my pieces, so I'm really happy that they were able to strengthen the story as well.

That's interesting, because I tend to pride myself on dialogue, but I don't normally write Harry - or one-sided conversations, so I can see what you mean in this particular piece.

Thank you again for stopping by!
♥Jill


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