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6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Rumpelstiltskin 

21st September 2017:
Hey, Lo! I'm finally here for the Companion Piece Challenge (I was taken away by real-life shortly after the challenge ended, but now I'm back).

I love how the imagery creates such a sensation that sucks the reader right in as Molly begins speeding around the Quidditch pitch. I mean, there's absolutely fantastic imagery here.

I also really enjoyed the transition from flying to falling. Molly's tried very hard to do this trick and once she has it, shes' absolutely soaring (mentally and physically), but then when it fails, and she's falling it must have been horrifying. I love how you tied the flying part into a new magic and the falling part into physics.

I like how you threw in the bit about levitation charms only being able to affect clothing and not people. Also, ouch. That must REALLY hurt.

Molly's reaction to Christopher already knowing who she is was sweet! I also enjoyed how he cared enough to check to see if she was alright when he saw her fall, and fixed her wrist, to boot!

As a stand-alone story, it works rather nicely -- a sweet little vignette into the life of Molly Weasley II and the day she met Christopher. I'm looking forward to how it ties in with the remaining pieces!

-Rumpel

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Review #2, by banshee 

19th April 2017:
CTF jailbreak review :)

LO! I can't believe there are parts of the Making It universe I have not read. Just saying whenevery you're ready to start making it back up again you just let me know :D

I love your details in the beginning of this chapter. you really do an awesome job setting the scene for what's happening. We're emersed right into the action and it makes an awesome start.

It's pretty terrifying to think about falling off of your broom. If I remember Molly like i think I do, I know she'll be smart enough to figure out how to get out of this.

...even if it ends up being a boy that helps her :D

Just saying it would be totally cool if broken bones charms were a thing in real life. Especially if it was a cute boy with the last name of Finnigan that was the one preforming those charms.

But Molly, what are you doing? If you're attempting something like that you really should have someone out there with you!

man, reading this really makes me want to read another chapter of making the reserves. I love all of your characters so much and I feel like christopher would just be another one of those awesome characters.

Do I have to say I loved this? psh, you know i loved this. I would be super interested to see more of Molly's life around this time, too. I know her pretty well as an Oakshaft student, but i'd love to read more about her at Hogwarts.

I hope you're doing well!

Julie

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Review #3, by MuggleMaybe 

19th April 2017:
Hi Lo! I'm here to free Sam for CTF Game 5.

I've read Making the Reserves (and I'm eagerly awaiting new chapters), so I was excited to discover that this is a companion piece.

I remembered that Molly had tried the Chelmondiston Charge at Hogwarts, during recruitment, but I didn't remember whether or not she was successful! It must have been so extremely scary to fall all that way!

Quidditch action is notoriously difficult to write, but I'd never know that if I only read your stories. You make it look effortless! I love the detail about her eyes tearing. I remember that happening when sledding or even just walking if it's cold enough.

The way you characterize Molly is very fun to read. She's so determined and daring. I remember thinking that in MtR, too. (Are you sure you've sorted her correctly? I mean, Ravenclaws can be brave but still =P ) I'm amazed she wanted to try this move again after her fall, but then again you show us very clearly that it's in her character to take that sort of risk.

but oh! Who is Christopher?! I see a budding romance, I believe! I don't have a very good feeling about. I mean, the title of the story is Making a Broken Heart, after all. I'm not a complete fool =P

Plus, I don't remember him from MtR. I just hope it doesn't end too badly and Molly doesn't get hurt. (Fat chance of that, but I can dream)

I am so happy I got another chance to read about Molly!

xoxo Renee

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Review #4, by Dojh167 

19th April 2017:
Hufflepuff CtF Review

Iím coming into this without having read anything else in the Making It universe (as far as I recall), which explains why the story summary left me with no idea what this was about =P

Your description here is excellent. We donít know anything about your main character (at least those of us who arenít familiar with the rest of your universe), but your description grounds us very well in the moment, and also tells us a lot about your main character through how she acts and feels about that without you having to spell anything out.

I love the line ďinstead of flying, I was falling. Instead of magic it was science.Ē It has a really clever rhythm to it.

Okay, weíre following Molly! Not sure if I missed that in the chapter description or something, but now Iím caught up. I had correctly assumed from the narrative that the protagonist was female, so I was at least that far.

Christopher is awfully confident, diagnosing and mending a broken wrist on his own. I suppose as a quidditch captain he may see them more regularly than other students would.

So far this is really cute, though the story title certainly makes me wonder if it will stay that way!

You list this as a short story collection, so Iím not sure what to expect from it overall. The story summary makes it sound like it will all be about Molly and Christopher, but since I donít have the context from other stores Iím not sure how long they were together. I am certainly interested in coming back for more here, but also your other stories - choices, choices!

Well done, you hooked me!

Sam.

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Review #5, by adluvshp 

9th April 2017:
Your descriptions of Molly flying is done very well, i could visualise the scene of her soaring into the air, trying to keep her balance, experience that feeling, and then falling. Ouch. I am confused though, I think levitation charm works on people too, and not just objects like clothes - but maybe she is not strong enough to make it work on a human being. I really liked that sentence of "this was not magic anymore, it was science and gravity" - it sounded poetic almost and added authenticity to what was happening. The entry of Chris was really nice and he was so helpful and sweet, the way he ran to her rescue and helped her up and healed her. The discussion on what she was trying to do and Quidditch helped them bond I suppose, and then how they knew each other, they simply seemed to click and it was cute how Molly developed an instant crush on him with the familiar feeling of butterflies and all that jazz. You had the right mix of dialogue and narrative, and the plot seems interesting, though I would have liked a little more backstory and build-up but perhaps that can be done in later chapters. Besides that, this flowed smoothly and I was really into it while reading so good job! Molly's journey has just begin and it's interesting already!

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Review #6, by Marshal 

9th April 2017:
Your descriptions are beautiful. I really liked your word choices here such as the choice of sapphire instead of blue or auburn instead of read. In a lot of ways it helped to make the images more vivid and colorful.

Was the broom you have Molly riding an invention of your own? If so kudos on creating a new name. Also the maneuver that she was trying to pull is that canon or an invention of your own. I can never remember all my quidditch plays but then again there are a lot of them. Still I love how daring Molly is despite being in Ravenclaw.

I like how you took things with her and Christopher. It was simple, cute and sweet - I love how Molly is sort of dying inside at the fact that Christopher knows who she is and thinks that he wouldn't know who she is. The ending is really cute particularly the bit that her hand was still in his. The trail off that you have here makes me want to read more in a lot of ways but at the same time it is a nice trail off to the end. It is not often that ellipses like that can signify the end of a story/chapter but it works here. I'm guessing as this is a one shot that the rest of the story is in something else of yours and this was just a snapshot from the main story?

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