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10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TidalDragon 

16th January 2017:
Howdy Bianca! I am terribly tardy, but I am leaving a review here for you for your holiday wishlist! If there's one thing my quest has revealed it's that I need to get back to reading more. Though I am not familiar with the references (to one of your other fine works I presume), I can still tell already that this story is going to be top notch.

Your descriptions are really excellent. Even when Finn is merely observing others that are mostly idle you have clearly taken a lot of care with them and it really pays, conveying subtle (and not so subtle) differences in attitude or reaction and reinforcing (particularly in Finn's case) notions of him as broken.

I also like the characterizations, which are strong and differentiable - something so often forgotten when writing quickly as people focus more on the overarching aims of the chapter and allow folks in similar groups to feel (at least for times) like they're simply cut from the same cloth. With Finn in particular I like the way you emphasize the contrast between his inner turmoil and outer personality and as (I hope) I continue reading, I can't wait to see the conflict in that develop.

If I had to be picky about something, it's that I think the "rule of three" gets a touch overused as a device in the first half of the chapter, but all in all it's sensational work.

Thanks for sharing!

P.S. Ragging hard on Hufflepuffs! Is that to throw everyone off the scent of your wonderful Puffdom? :P

Author's Response: Thanks a lot, Kevin!

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Review #2, by MargaretLane 

14th December 2016:
Oooh, this story DOES look interesting. And really original. I don't think I've read anything else like it. Not that I've started reading yet, but you know, judging by the summary.

Anyway, I come bearing gifts.

Your description here is amazing. I am absolutely useless at description so I am always impressed when somebody is good at it. I often tend to get lost reading long descriptions, but this kept my attention and really created an atmosphere. It also seems to fit the era somehow.

VERY nitpicky, but I think the line "sixth year was important, despite his indifference" seems a bit awkward.

You've given us a real insight into his family too, between the fact they can afford such heirlooms and the fact that his father can influence grades that seem to be Ministry rather than school run. I know you can technically go to jail for messing with Leaving Cert. results. Not sure if it would be the same for the O.W.L.S. and N.E.W.T.S.

Ooh, I wonder if Riddle is responsible for his sister's death. It seems rather a coincidence if she died of a tragic accident when there was a murderer in the vicinity.

Of course! It never occurred to me that Grindlewald's reign of terror coincided with Voldemort's childhood. And I love the extra detail you are giving about Grindlewald's supporters.

That part about him smiling and telling everybody things are fine despite his sister's tragic death and his heart saying they are not fine is really sad and gives us an insight into his character. And it is really well written.

Hmm, this seems to suggest a link between Grindlewald and Voldemort.

And Yikes, this kid's admiration for Tom is quite scary. I wonder if he will end up becoming one of the early Death Eaters or if perhaps Tom DID play a part in his sister's death and he will find out and turn against him.

A sign of how much prominence British and American literature has - as a child I expected I'd have free periods in secondary school. Yeah, some hope.

Oh, I wonder why his father noticed him.

LOVE the description of the Malford. Utterly accurate.

I also really like the way Tom just states "you will do it." It shows his power that he doesn't even have to issue any threats or anything; he just states it as a fact.

Love the part about his twin being everything he wanted to be and him being everything she'd feared to become.

And ooh, I wonder what happened with the car accident.

I don't give this often, but I think this deserves a 10.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your amazing review! ♥

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Review #3, by mymischiefmanaged 

23rd September 2016:
OH HAIII. So, I read all five chapters at once when I should have been to sleep, and I love it. But I knew I'd love it so that wasn't really a surprise. And now it's reviewing time :)

I adore Finn. I loved him in Hero and now I love him even more. He's still a little cold, but seeing his POV explains that. He's not cruel and he does care, but he seems sort of distant from what's going on around him. Like, he has this really rich internal monologue but it doesn't often link into the way he behaves. I like it.

And I miss Hero! But I think Finn's grown more interesting in her absence. I'm not really surprised by Tom's nerve in acting like nothing's changed between him and Finn, but it's still heartbreaking. She really did just die for nothing. When I read 'Hero' I thought that Tom did care about her, at least a little bit, but now I think he was only ever using her to get more involved with her family.

Big fan of McCroy. I'm worried that she's dying and I think that would break Finn. Please just let them fall in love and live happily ever after (who am I kidding, this is you writing haha).

Oh B I love this so much. Can't wait for your next update!

Will be back to review Ch2 asap :)

E xx

Author's Response: HAAAIII E

Oh my goodness that is so amazing to hear. You are so lovely ♥ I'm so glad you like it, I was so excited to see what you think and now that I know I'm just *squee!*

♥ ♥


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Review #4, by marauderfan 

21st August 2016:
GIFT TAG

So um. Somehow this story has been sitting here for months and I haven't read it yet, despite how much I loved Hero. I'm here to remedy that.

Before we even begin I'm so excited to be reading about Finn. Throughout Hero's story there were hints that Finn was kind of having second thoughts at times, and I'm really looking forward to this insight into his mind. Also I know there's a Slytherpuff romance and I have a weakness for those. :D

A spider bite. An allergic reaction. Preventable. But Finn hadn’t been there, hadn’t been able to protect her as a brother should.
Now he wasn’t a brother at all.
-- guh this just kills me :'( Also, I wonder how long it will be before Finn finds out the truth about his sister's death. And whether Tom will tell him, or whether Finn will accidentally discover the truth...

“If you’re going to die, can you do it quietly?” -- *narrows eyes at Bianca* THIS BETTER NOT BE FORESHADOWING. After the final chapter of Hero I really don't know what to expect from you. Don't do it. I'm suspicious mainly because of Saffron's reaction. What was she doing?

The resurrection stone appears. The previous owner 'no longer had need of it'... yeah, that's one way to put it.

Hahahaha at Radbourne convincing Benedict to go to the meeting with Slughorn because "There's food". Hilarious because it's so true that this is a sure way to get anyone to go to a meeting!

WAND JOKES. XD Of course, this is a group of teenage boys, I shouldn't have expected otherwise. And Tom doesn't even laugh! He has about as much of a sense of humour as plasterboard.

Ahh and that last section is so sad. Particularly how he admits (to himself) that she was what he wanted to be, and that he knows he is what she was afraid to become. like, he doesn't really think a whole lot about what exactly it is he's doing and how much he personally aligns with it, but he's self-aware enough to realize that he envies Hero in how she's not like him. Cue angsting from Finn in upcoming chapters as he struggles with who he is and figures out Tom's role in Hero's death and/or simply grows tired of Tom's lack of a sense of humour.

This is great so far. I can't wait to read more. :D

Author's Response: YAY Kristin! I'm SO glad you're here! Welcome ;) I'm ready to break hearts all over again?

What? Nothing.

Kristin, I'm shocked that you think I would foreshadow such things :P But I like how I'm clearly going to be keeping you on your toes throughout this story! Muahaha.

I'm glad you like the boys! My first time writing such a group of people, and I was nervous about it, but if it's coming out like I wanted, then I'm happy :D

Oh yes. Cue the angst.

Thanks so much for stopping by Kristin! Much love ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #5, by ImaRavenclaw 

28th July 2016:
Hello darling, Lily here with your requested review!

Let me start off by saying I love the poem, it's a nice touch. I think it goes well with the story too!

I've gotten to know Finn only a little through the Hero book, so this is going to be interesting. Last time I checked I'm on Chapter four of Hero, so I'm not positive I should be reading the sequel *hides*, but because you asked...

Your descriptions are intense, that's not bad! They really grip you. I have goosebumps still. I love how that first sentence kind of grabs you and refuses to let you go until you accept to stay. I accepted to stay very quickly! And honestly, it makes you ask questions. Well why didn't he want to go to Hogwarts? What will happen next? Who wouldn't want to go to HOGWARTS?!

Yeah maybe I should have finished Hero... She's dead? Oh dear me. I love how Finn feels guilty about it though, he wasn't there to protect her, save her. He feels like a bad brother. He feels like he isn't even a brother anymore.

A small thing (you can choose to take it or leave it): Unless you're going to go really in depth with Mr. Blishwick's character, even though it is in third person, I would suggest saying 'Finn's father' instead of Jameson.

I love how Gellert bascially took their house over. But is there any particular reason why the Blishwicks? Or is it explained in Hero or further chapters?

I love your characterization of Finn, but again I'm still wondering, if he wasn't enjoying himself at home then why did he NOT want to go back to Hogwarts?

In this sentence you have 'because' two times: “He’s just bitter because because our father finally noticed him over the summer, only it was something he didn’t want to be noticed for.”

I love the sentence "If you're going to die can you do it quietly?"

I also loved the latin you used.

All in all this was a really good start to what I'm sure will be a great sequel. I'm going to go finish Hero (maybe re-read it because it has been a while), and then I'll definitely be back. I love what you're doing with this! I hope you have an awesome day, and make sure to come back and request more reviews.

Yours sincerely,

ImaRavenclaw

Author's Response: Omg Lily, for some reason I thought you'd read Hero and I am SO SORRY. I just want to hide in my shame, but thank you for reviewing!

I know, crazy right? Hogwarts would be amazing! I think he's just feeling a little misplaced at the moment. He doesn't feel particularly happy at any place just yet.

I'm glad you like the characterisation of Finn, and I fixed the little typo, thank you for pointing that out!

I do hope to see you back here soon (probably because I'll be living on your review thread). Thanks again, Lily! ♥


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Review #6, by Felpata Lupin 

2nd July 2016:
Hello, B!
I'm here, finally, to review the first chapter of HTF (possibly the second, too, but I can't guarantee... :P)

I'll try to review as I read, so forgive me if it comes out a bit disconnected. But you won't mind, will you? ;)

First of all, I'm sure I already told you on google docs, but the starting description, with Finn staring out of the window in the rainy night is incredibly beautiful and powerful. It sets the mood so wonderfully, and is written just brilliantly. But that your writing is brilliant is well known.

Also, this sentence, "Sixth year was important, despite his indifference. Or so he’d been told." So perfect. Practically, this is Finn in 12 words!

Aww... his guilt for Hero's death... if only he knew... I feel so horrible for him... Can I give him a hug? Just quickly? It's not your fault, Finn. Believe me, it's not. :(

"So when people asked him, “How was your summer?” his smile would say, “It was fine, thank you”.

His heart would say, “It was the worst I’ve ever had.”" This line is just perfection, too! I so love it!

Second scene, and the mood change completely. Typical adolescent boys in class. May I add, Slytherin adolescent boys. :P And Finn is his good, old, braggard self again. (And I'm back at wondering if I hate him or love him...)

Oh, Tom didn't show emotion when Hero died? Why am I not surprised by that? (About hating Tom Riddle, I have no doubts).

Ahahah! Finn doesn't like homework, apparently. Can't blame him, to be honest... :P

And here we go with the Marauders' parallels... Finn bringing is hand to his hair to show off his muscles reminds me so much of James trying to impress Lily... :P

"“Finn,” Tom said warningly without looking up from his book." Good, old, manipulative Tom! (Needed to use the word... :P)

Ah... Brindley appears! A pity Finn is such a jerk to her... :(

Also, what happened with the Avery brothers during the summer? I'm curious...

New scene... and, oh, Tom has Marvolo's ring... a bit unsettling, to be true...

Abraxas is such a Malfoy... just saying...

"“There’s food,” Radbourne said helpfully." Ahahah! That would convince themon making it into the Slug Club! :D

Also, it's so scary how Tom already has them at his complete mercy...

And, wow. That was a tense moment, when Finn said that about the Basilisk... I'm wondering if Tom ever "punished" them... But, now I'm giggling because I'm thinking about our conversation about Tom chatting with the Basilisk... and how he reacted as he slid down the Chamber... Ihihih!

And the wands' joke! Ahahah! I love it! And I love our little Skype group! *wub*

New scene, and we're back to the beginning...
"You have to live for the both of you now. She was everything he wanted to be. He was everything she feared to become." So heartbreaking and so perfect! Poor Finn... Poor Hero... :'(

Ah, thanks to you, my little B, my wonderful Shakespeare buddy! I did nothing at all (except fangirling over this). :P

And just because I like to say that, shake-what?
Lots of love and snowball hug,
your little Chi.

Author's Response: SNOWBALL HUGGG! ♥

Where do I even begin thanking you for this review?! I'm so so glad you like Finn! His character is fun to write, he's my first antihero :)
And it's you who keeps me going with this story!

Fangirl all you want, Shakespeare buddy! Shake-what? Are you sirius?

Love you little Chi ♥♥



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Review #7, by PaulaTheProkaryote 

14th June 2016:
Hi there!

SO SOON! I'm not sure if I'm ready to move on! That being said, I'm so looking forward to the aftermath of Hero.

I love the really cool detail about his watch using runes instead of numbers. You always go out of your way to provide awesome details like that.

I'm a bit shocked that Finn didn't immediately suspect Tom. I know he's charismatic and seemed rather smitten with Hero but there must have been some gnawing doubt or will be some gnawing doubt. I mean he knows the monster behind the mask. Although, I guess he's not going to immediately assume murder when it comes to a spider bite. I wonder how her friends are reacting to it all. I hope that in later chapters we at least get a glimpse of them.

Part of me is really happy that Jameson locked himself away and mourned the loss of his daughter. I wasn't entirely certain he would. I hate the pain that Finn is going through but at the same time I'm just so glad that before her death he was at least making amends with her. That has to be of some comfort to him.

All of the wand jokes were hilarious. I think it's really telling about Tom's nature that he didn't laugh along with them. He's not a teenage boy at all! I love the tidbit about having to lock away his basilisk for the time being and how petulant he is about it.

I can't help but feel like Tom is interested in Grindelwald not because of the cause itself although he's obviously in line with the idea, but I think he seems interested in studying the same sort of attention grabbing techniques that he has. I don't think Tom could ever be a follower of anyone because his ego wouldn't allow it.

I love the interaction of Finn and Brindley. I ship Frinndley so hard. Seriously though, she doesn't go along with his garbage. She talked back to him and I think that'll be hard for him to ignore. She's so sassy, I love it. I also realyl liked Finn's line about "If you're going to die, can you do it quietly?" It was hilarious even though the girls got reasonably upset about it.

I think this line was really powerful:
"She was everything he wanted to be. He was everything she feared to become." That's too much pressure for one boy. There's no way that he could live for the both of them. He can only live for himself.

As always, I can't wait for another update you brilliant writer! ♥

Author's Response: PAULA ♥

I know it's so soon but I couldn't stop! Finn wouldn't let me!

Thank you for another amazing review ♥


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Review #8, by Potterhead1994 

13th June 2016:
Hey! I love this first chapter. Your writing, amazing as always! I like how it started off a little down the road after Hero's death. I also can't lie, I got grim satisfaction that her dad was torn up about it as well. I'm a little surprised that Finn didn't question if Tom did it or not.

Author's Response: Hello fellow Potterhead and thank you for the awesome review! To answer your comments, I understand about Jameson. He may not have approved of a lot of things Hero did, but at the end of the day, he lost a child. As for Finn, he didn't have any reason to question Tom at the time. But later in this story, he might ;)

Thanks again and hope to see you back soon!

♥ B


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Review #9, by princesslily_36 

13th June 2016:
B ♥ ♥ ♥

I'm going to drop in only for a small review because it's pretty late and I couldn't let this by without reviewing!

OMG I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS STORY!!!

OMG FINN AND BRINDLEY ♥ ♥ AND THROWING IN A POTTER AS WELL!



The descriptions, the scene setting, and Br... manipulative Tom strikes again!! Also, Stupid Finn, being a jerk to Brindley... But there's so much chemistry there ♥ ♥ ♥

I will write a proper and coherent review for the next chapter!

Until then,

Loads of love ♥
Ysh

Author's Response: Aw Ysh I'm so grateful you dropped in at all!

Honestly, it's your enthusiasm that keeps me going, I wouldn't be writing this without you, and I'm so happy you get so excited over this story.

Love love LOVE ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #10, by dreamgazer220 

12th June 2016:
HAI BIANCA! Do I have the first review?! DO I?!

I'm so excited that you decided to post this story, if anything so that I can properly squee and/or review over how amazing this is.

I love, love, LOVE this opening chapter! You have such a strong opening here, and although there isn't an immediate cliffhanger, I'm still drawn to know what happens next, what's going to happen to the boys now that Hero isn't around. It's so interesting that she was struggling with death in her story, and now Finn is the one who is struggling with it. You've done a great job of painting us a picture of the guilt he must be feeling. I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose a sibling, let alone a twin. Poor Finn. I can't believe I'm even saying that with sincerity.

You have really strong language here. You painted an incredible picture of each scene, but the two that stood out to me the most were Finn in his bedroom at home, and Finn sitting in his room at Hogwarts in the dark. It basically gave me chills and felt like I was sitting right there with him.

Tom seems completely unaffected by Hero's death, which isn't too much of a surprise, but I wonder if it's a mask and if he's feeling anything at all. I'm very curious about the dueling club and the dynamics between Finn and Tom. You've done a great job of setting everything up here and I can't wait to see how it plays out.

And McCroy! I don't want to see much, but I'm super excited and can't wait to see the story you've laid out for them in this sequel. I love Finn's sass, it reminds us that even though he's wallowing in this guilt and grief, outwardly, he's still the jerk that everyone loves and hates. You do such a great job of pointing that out.

An absolutely AMAZING job, my dear! Keep up the great work!

Love you! Love this! More please!

♥♥♥
Jill

Author's Response: YES YOU HAVE FIRST REVIEW. But you usually do, because you are that amazing.

Eep thank you thank you thank you!! You're the best, and I couldn't have gotten this story up without you!

♥ ♥


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