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1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Fugacity 

17th March 2017:
I enjoyed the story - but I'm afraid that in Chapter 5. "A Cry" you failed to accurately capture the lag that occurs between delivery and when others are allowed into the room. I can also pretty much guarantee that James (as a first time father) would NOT have been sitting in a chair or stretching and yawning before giving a hug to his wife; he would have been STANDING there, holding her hand, nervous and excited beyond words and in total awe and shock when little Harry appeared. I strongly suspect that you have never actually been present for a birth. I have been and I've spoken with plenty of others who have been and I'm pretty sure what I described is nearly universal for first time fathers - except those who are scared out their minds or absolute @$$h013$and are just proud that they could knock up a girl. You might want to talk to a few people with more first hand experience with first-time fathers and rework the scene to make it better. The reality would make it even sweeter and cuter.

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