Reading Reviews for Hero, Chapter 4: Mystery
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Marshal 

30th April 2017:
Yet another lovely chapter and a lot is building up here and I am loving it. This is such an interesting story! Seriously this is going to be added to my reading list after CTF is over. You were someone I was hoping was the flag particularly this story as I have been enjoying it.

I have said it before and I'll say it again that I love how you've built Hero as a character and given her so much depth and I love how you are playing with Tom and Rebeus building them up for the story and showing the true nature of each but keeping things ambigious enough for Hero - who is SUCH a Gryffindor by the by.

I mean seriously wanting to investigate when the professors are already doing that? SUCH A GRYFFINDOR! Still it makes for an interesting character and I love it!

Also, please forgive me if I am repeating myself but the incorporation of the Dark Arts book that Tom will end up using was a nice touch and I love how you don't fully stain Tom with it and yet we know he totally uses it. Also his questions about the muggle boy and inquiring about Hero's interest in him was so nicely done subtle and to the point! Wonderful job and I do look forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Aw thank you so much! It means a lot that it's on your reading list :)
Thanks again for the review!

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Review #2, by Yoshi_Kitten 

29th April 2017:
Yeah, considering the fact that we've gone back to talking about the petrified girl, which happened back in chapter two, and not the roosters; I am almost certain that your second and third chapters may be out of order hun. There's a really simple way on here, under the Edit Story options, where you can rearrange your chapters just by clicking on the up & down arrows though. I've done it several times with my Novel when I was re-writing the beginning of it – it's so easy to do. But you may wanna read back over the two of them yourself, just to see how you think it sounds/flows together. Don't just take my word for it, because I could be totally off.

But OMGosh, this chapter had SO MANY things in it, I couldn't stop reading, lol!! I'll try to remember everything… So, are her and Tom dating now? NO HERO!! I thought I warned you about him already!! Turn back now before it's too late!! Oh gosh, she's really digging herself a hole, isn't she? And then there's that Dark arts book – I recognized that title right away from HP, which was really nice to see!! But Oooh!!! I wonder if that's the book that he first reads the information about Horcruxes in!?! Wouldn't that be interesting. I just love how you slipped that in there like that!! And then there was the bit about the two little girls hearing “something big, loud, and scary” moving around in the pipes. Geeze, I wonder what that could be?? ;)

GAH!! And there is her brother, being a git again. I really wish that they could get along more. I get the whole sibling rivalry thing, and then you have the Slytherin vs. Gryffindor house rivalry added in on top of it; but they had to have gotten along at some point in their lives, right? I just don't get why he's SO mean to her. Especially the “splish-splash” comments. That's what really gets to me the most. Because, if her friend Noah actually got trapped inside of a car and drowned right in front of her; which is what I have taken away from the clues that have been given so far, then that is a TERRIBLE comment to make to someone's face like that! I mean, someone whom she obviously cared about DIED, and you're just gonna make fun of her pain like it's nothing? I know Tom Riddle is supposed to be the “Villain” in this story, but that right there just made me hate Finn. Like, he is seriously evil. There is something wrong with that child. And maybe it's because he's been spending too much time with Tom, Idk. But as of right now, I do not like him at ALL!!

Okay, Finn rant is over, haha!! Moving on… Aww, there's ickle little Hagrid again. I love seeing him in this, but it also breaks my heart because I know that this is the year he gets suspended. I wonder when we will be seeing signs of Myrtle. Will we get to see her alive in this before the Basilisk gets to her? I would like to see that too. Seriously though, I LOVE all of the familiar elements that you have brought over from HP into this. It's a completely different time period, but this could absolutely be a prequel about Voldemort's school days. It's that good!! We weren't given very many details about this time-frame in the books, but I swear you have taken everything and made quite an amazing and very believable story out of it!! I am so impressed with this, Bianca!! =D

I had to laugh when Tom told her that his parents were dead, and she made the connection that she had fallen for another orphan boy. My name is Hero Blishwick, and I have a thing for orphan boys. LOL!!! That line was too funny. OMG!! What if Tom & Noah went to the SAME orphanage, and what if whatever trauma Noah went through when he was young was actually caused by Tom Riddle? Wouldn't THAT be a plot twist!?! Tom is awfully interested in Noah, but I could just be imaging things… I shall have to wait and see if my guesses are right? This is SO AMAZING, B!!! I love it so much!! I cannot wait to read more!! ♥


Author's Response: You were absolutely right, the chapters were out of order o.O So that's annoying, but thank you so much for pointing that out and it's all fixed now!
Your reviews always make me smile so much, you have such kind things to say. Thanks so much! ♥

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Review #3, by Beeezie 

23rd December 2016:
Your Tom Riddle continues to make my skin crawl... especially since even knowing that Tom Riddle is kind of evil and also the worst, I'm still finding myself feeling charmed by him. I can't even blame Hero. Yeesh.

Speaking of Hero, the intense skin-crawling I'm getting from Tom might be overshadowing how much I like Hero, and I want to remedy that - because I really do like Hero quite a lot. She means so well, but I'm worried that this is going to turn out so not good. :(

Also? Hagrid is heartbreaking. The end. :(

This continues to be amazing and incredible and wow.

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #4, by maraudertimes 

1st September 2016:
Ah!!! I'm bacck!!!

This is awesome, I can't tell if I ship them or not because it seems like Hero and Tom would be really good together (lol at the fact that Hero has a thing for orphan boys), but it's Tom Riddle for heavens sake! What are you doing to me??? I've never shipped Tom with anyone ever and now you're corrupting me by wanting them to get together and be happy forever AND THAT'S NOT PLAUSIBLE BECAUSE HE'S CRAZY!!!

Her brother is awful and so are his friends. I can't believe they would do that with the roosters. I know they're Slytherins, but come on! That's just insensitive. And he hit her! I know they're siblings but that's just insane! I would never put up with that, although then again, Hero and I are in very different positions with our families.

RUBEUS HAGRID!!! Oh, this is making me sad because I know what's going to happen, and he's just a young boy and it's obvious he's not well liked and it seems like he's suspicious but because I know what actually happens this makes me so sad!!! Poor Hagrid! I just want to yell at him to go on vacation or something to keep him safe!

And oh, the final scene. Can I just say that I WANT TO SHIP THEM AND I'M HAVING SUCH A DILEMMA HOW CAN YOU DO THIS FOR ME.

This is amazing and I'm excited to get back to it again! I'll be back later I can promise! Great job B!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Thanks a lot, Lo! ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #5, by pointless_proclamations 

31st August 2016:
Oh for goodness sake!!

More time alone time with Riddle and that book and more petrifying?!?! This story will be the near death of me because I cannot stop fretting over Hero because she is precious and a lot is going on that she doesn't know about and that I barely know about except for Riddle petrifying students BUT [EXPLETIVE] IS THAT BOY CHARMING OR WHAT?!

It has been brought to my attention that Theo and Hero are a thing that's was going on for a long time rather than a one-off thing. In that case, BAH!! WHAT?!

Hagrid, oh no. Someone else to worry about. I try so hard to despise this story for making me feel so many things--most of them along the lines of concern and panic and second-hand rage, but it's that control of a reader's emotions that this story--your writing--possesses that makes me have so much respect for it and love it so much: The course of true love never did run smooth and in my case, I'm going through a flipping roller coaster built in the exact shape of Norway's coastline.

B, I'm starting to get suspicious about the chocolate now. What's up with the Hero being fed chocolate?

Again, this story is insanely brilliant.

Author's Response: Ha ha if you think this story is the death of you now... Well, maybe just continue reading ;)

Um, excuse me, E, but what could possibly be so suspicious about Tom giving someone chocolate?!

*whistles innocently*

Thanks for your review! ♥ ♥

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Review #6, by SilverMoonFairy 

28th August 2016:

Okay, so... I am confused? Your chapters keep moving! I R&R'd chapter 4 the other day and now it's chapter 6?

But, anyway, this chapter! So much stuff! I really like Morgan and even with this thing with Tom, I'm sort of rooting for him. And I can't BELIEVE Finn hit her! What a ---! Jerk! I meant jerk... Thank Merlin for Rubeus Hagrid, dude! *dances*

The scene in the library was pretty interesting. Of course Tom would wonder why she would be involved with a Muggle. He can't understand why his own mother loved a Muggle, and now here's this girl he is presumably interested in who has also been romantically involved with one. I'd love to be in his head for this scene...

One little technical:
The air became cooler, as if often did in the dungeons,
If should be It


Author's Response: Thanks, Liz! ♥

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Review #7, by TreacleTart 

27th August 2016:
Hey Bianca!

Here to drop off a review for the gift tag thread! I've been meaning to get back to this story for awhile and this was just the motivation I needed! :)

Ugh. Tom Riddle is such a creep. I don't believe for a single minute that he really has genuine affection for Hero. He's using her and he's pulling all the right tricks. The hard swallow after healing her bruise, the gentle kiss on the cheek. It's such a well orchestrated performance.

And don't get me started on Hero's brother. Seriously, he is the biggest jerk. I can't believe he hit his sister and the way he torments her. Seriously, I don't advocate violence very often, but somebody needs to give him a serious whoppin'.

And aww...Hagrid. Always off doing things that look suspicious, but of course he just means well. It's a shame that he's going to get torn up by Tom Riddle.

Ugh! Hero...I just want to shake her. Poor thing. She's just so naive thinking that she can solve this mystery, thinking that she can handle Tom Riddle. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. :(

Another good chapter! I'm headed off to the next one right now!


Author's Response: Hey Kaitlin! So great to see you back here!

Oh, Finn will get a whoppin', don't you worry.

Thank you for your wonderful review! ♥

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Review #8, by mymischiefmanaged 

9th April 2016:
And back again for the second part of our swap :)

I think it's a shame that Theo's letting his bitterness over the way things happened with Hero get in the way of his ability to communicate clearly with her. He actually does have some reason to doubt Tom's motives and not to trust him, but he comes across as a bit of a silly child in this chapter and I can see why Hero doesn't take him seriously.

I really hope that Finn figures out that what he's doing is wrong. He doesn't really seem nasty. He does these stupid things but his attitude towards it is mischievous and like he just thinks it's all a joke. He needs to learn that his actions are cruel.

I'm looking forward to seeing more of Hagrid later on :)

And Mo was just lovely in this chapter, but again I can't help but think it's all going to go wrong for him. Tom definitely won't like Hero having a good friend who's male and muggle born.

And then at the end of the chapter Tom comes very close to revealing his nastiness, but manages to save it. I don't think he'll be able to hide his views from Hero much longer. But then maybe he's not hiding them on purpose, he probably assumes she'll agree with him.

I'm assuming Noah's traumatic incident had something to do with Tom when they were children? Otherwise it's too much of a coincidence for them to both be orphans from Hangleton. I want to know moreee!

I absolutely love this story. Let me know if you want to swap for the next chapter too!

Emma xx

Author's Response: Hi E!

Finn will get there in the end, I promise! And I can also promise more Hagrid! I would definitely be up for another swap, thanks Emma! ♥

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Review #9, by PaulaTheProkaryote 

3rd April 2016:
YAY this one is so long!

It's official, I'm all about Hero and Tom. He's just so charming and honestly very thoughtful and I like him. I've given in. You've tricked me into it! He's just such an interesting character. You've really given him such life and he's so complex and I adore it. I really do.

Theo is childish. She's moved in (mostly) so he should get over it. I know, I know. That's easier said than done, but he is stringing Emory along so.

I'm amazed that it took a whole week for the school to find out about the girl. It's Hogwarts! There's no such thing as a secret!

Theo is such a little monster! Honestly, I'm so glad that Hero rolled up to keep everyone safe. I fear for our silly little Rubeus with every progressive chapter. For his rooster trick, I'd have hexed him into oblivion.

My favorite line was "How was I supposed to control my own life when mum’s wide mouth and dad’s small nose stared back at me as a constant reminder? The bags under my eyes may be all my own, but that was no consolation." I've definitely felt that way myself. I have so much of my parents in me that it's hard to be my own person. I, too, spend most of my life trying to achieve their approval. Thankfully, my parents are affectionate people. High standards, but loving.

Since I'm so very fond of Hagrid, I really liked the way that Morgan talked to him. It wasn't like he was an outcast or a bit weird. It was very friendly and inclusive. I like him.

The healing scene with Tom was heart-poundingly fabulous. The tension was palpable. I really feel like he can't possibly understand her relationship with Noah. It's intriguing. But then again, since he's only half-blood he should take that as a sign that people are willing to over look blood status. He said in the last chapter that it wasn't the house she was in, but who she was. The same could be said about blood!

I'm dreading moving on to the next chapter because it'll be the last one you currently have published and I'll have to wait and check nonstop. That being said, I'm excited for the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hey! Muahaha, I sucked in another one! I like that you can relate to Hero, that means a lot to me as a writer :)
Phew, I'm glad you liked the end scene with Tom! Yes you'd think he'd have a different view point, being half-blood, but that's not how it worked out, unfortunately. Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #10, by princesslily_36 

29th March 2016:
Back again, you always have me coming back more... now don't make me wait too long for the next chapter!

Ohh.. Tom Riddle winking at Hero - seems so hot and weird at the same time :P wait a minute... I now wonder if Tom knew to read minds at this point... did he know exactly what Hero was thinking or was he just that good at reading people?

Beginnings of the studies on dark arts! I can already feel Tom's influence just seeping through the words to all those Slytherins there. Eerie but in a very non-dark yet dark kind of way. I love the genre you have chosen to adopt. There's just something so dark about this story without being in your face dark... like you're just building it up bit by bit instead of thrusting it all out there... I admire your writing so much!

Merlin, I do NOT like that Finn. Normally itself I'm squeamish around dead animals (animal rights and all you know) but to make a compelte joke of it like Finn, its more revolting than anything I've had to face during anatomy class!

I'm a little confused here though - how do the girls or Emory know that there's piping beneath the stone walls. How familiar are purebloods with the concept of plumbing?

Ohhh, and there's the almost-kiss you were talking about? Things leading up to it was so natural.. but my favorite part was Tom's reaction - the fact that he didn't understand why she felt what she did, or what she saw in him. You've yet again aroused my curiosity to this whole Noah business.

Now, I'm working if Tom felt attracted to Hero or was he just fascinated by her because of all the 'darkness' he thought she had to offer.

This was a wonderful chapter, and I have to beg you to update soon. Like real. Soon. Like I need to read the next chapter, soon!

Author's Response: I think Tom is just perceptive - and interested in Hero, of course! I'm so glad the build up is working, that's always something I worry about. As for the pipes, erm, piping was definitely a thing in Hogwarts, I suppose even wizards need indoor plumbing? Thank you so much for your review! ♥

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Review #11, by Felpata Lupin 

28th March 2016:
You didn't need to request, you know, honey? I would've come here anyway. And I honestly can't tell about your hair... But I like curls, so probably they're fine! ;)

But let's talk about this awesome chapter!
Wow, this really gave me the chills! The scene when she's alone in the dungeons with the dripping water in particular... Oh, my! So scary! And her panic attack when she thinks back to the incident was done brilliantly! Wow, just wow!!!

So, it looks as if Theo is a tiny bit jealous? Let me get it straight... they were together but she broke up with him because her parents didn't approve or something? And if it is so, how does Emory get into the equation? Sorry, I have a fixation on this matter...

I thought Finn wasn't that bad... Now I can affirm without doubt that he is a jerk! Really, that boy is unsufferable!!! I didn't really expect him to punch her, what an awful demeanor!

By the way, I love how Death Eater-y Finn and the others are. And Tom saying that “They have their uses.” You can already see the outcome of those "friendships".

And Tom... You capture his ability to manipulate people and direct events so perfectly. I can't blame Hero for being fascinated by him... Who wouldn't? But, honestly, Hero, be careful!!!

Hagrid should be careful as well... He keeps appearing at the wrong times in the wrong places... Well, it was a luck he was there in this case because who knows what would've happened to Hero otherwise... But he needs to be careful... (useless concerns... we know what's going to happen anyway)

Happy to see Morgan again! I like that boy! :D

One last thing I have to say, I loved how you included the school gossip in here, and theories running wild. It wouldn't be Hogwarts otherwise, would it?

I'm sure there are a lot other things I should be commenting on, but I can't remember now (I think I beat you at disordered reviews, btw...)

Anyway, this was great, just like all the rest of your story! Can't wait for chapter 6!!!

Much love and many hugs to you,

Author's Response: Hey Chiara! I know, I know. I just like to lurk on the forums.
Yes you are correct on Theo and Hero, Emory started dating him shortly after (bit of a rebound for both of them, but more on that later).
I'm glad you see into Tom's personality and yep, you're right to warn Hero! Plenty more Morgan coming up for you, too!
Thank you for your review! *hugs*

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Review #12, by marauderfan 

26th March 2016:
Not sure how I missed this new chapter when it went up but hey no time like the present.

I saw nothing wicked, but I did see Tom -- this is one of the things I love most about the story. like, this one sentence is setting off so many alarm bells because ahh she just has no idea how wrong she is. She really doesn't know, and the difference between what I know as the reader, and what Hero thinks she knows, it's such a vast difference and that's what creates all the suspense in the story. I love it.

Theo's reaction about Hero getting potion information from Tom is kind of like Hermione's reaction to finding out Harry was trusting the Half-Blood Prince! haha

I think you've done well cultivating the atmosphere around the petrifications, too. As this is a completely new phenomenon and hasn't happened before and really no one knows what to expect, there's all sorts of rumours flying around, ranging from intentional dark magic to conspiracy theories, and no one knows what or who to believe about it. That's exactly the kind of atmosphere I would expect and I think you did really well making that stand out. Especially with the claim about 'there's no way it was a Hogwarts student' - because once again, Hero is wrong and the reader knows the truth. Ahh!

It's weird to see Hagrid referred to by his first name! :P But yeah I guess he's only a third year at this point.

Wow, Finn has such a dark sense of humour! *shivers* The prank he and his friends pulled with the fake blood and dead roosters - ugh. it's like they're preying on the school's heightened paranoia after the attacks, just for fun. Not cool bro.

Hearing the Basilisk in the pipes - so creepy! I guess it's not as bad as hearing it say it wants to kill people, as Harry heard, but that's got to be a really unnerving experience. And then the water coming out of the wall - this scene was so tense, and really well written - it's clear Hero has some form of PTSD as she keeps kind of transporting back to this moment, and what a scary moment. :( So well written though, and I like that you keep revealing little pieces of the puzzle of what happened to Noah. Given what Ton says later on in the chapter, I can't help wondering if the car didn't just skid off the road, if there was some sort of magic involved... I wouldn't put it past Tom. Anyway, it's good Hagrid was down there checking on Aragog... I mean, just wandering the corridor. Ahem. :P

Tom and Hero's discussion in the library was interesting. Poor Hero, she really has no idea what she's getting into! And Tom... he's so hard to read. I mean, I know he's just using her. But it's easy to see why Hero falls for him - he just seems so nice. Too caring, even. The end was really interesting as well because it's like Tom honestly wants to know why she was interested in a Muggle - probably because he can't fathom why anyone would be. It almost seemed like we were seeing Tom there without any kind of screen, like he was actually being honest and saying that without any ulterior motive. But I know better than that :P

This is an addicting story! Really wonderful work on this :D

Author's Response: Argh Kristin you make me so happy! I love how much you're getting into it, too. I appreciate your amazing words, thank you! X

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Review #13, by boogerbreath 

25th March 2016:
something wicked this way comes.

its tom.

Author's Response: Ah, boogers. I'm glad you're back. Thank you for this insightful review!

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Review #14, by AdinaPuff 

21st March 2016:
Your writing gives me goosebumps, honestly.

Loved it. Again. As per usual. :) This chapter, however, I have to say Finn scared me a heck of a lot more than Tom. I see peeps of what I thought tom would be like through your version, such as his parents being an extremely touchy subject, and naturally the interest in dark magic. However Finn really does scare the crap out of me. He's abusive and scary and I'm sure he's going to be a helpful pawn in Toms rise to power. His books perhaps have the information about Horcruxes?? It's all so scary and crazy and its a shame that no one even notices. We all know Hagrid gets expelled and not him. He just gets away with it all and it amazes me! You also do an amazing job writing about the monster. Hero certainly is a Gryffindor, trying to figure it out and being reckless while doing so.

Love love love this story. Update soon!!

- Leigh xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much Leigh! I'm sorry I gave you goosebumps (not really)! Yes Finn is a bit more in-your-face evil than Tom, he represents the worst side of the Blishwicks. Thank you for your amazing words! Xx

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Review #15, by dreamgazer220 

19th March 2016:
Oooh, Finn. Sometimes I really want to smack him, he definitely plays the role of obnoxious brother well. I'm kind of hoping that they secretly care about what happens to each other, right? I mean, they are twins.

And the scene with the water - whew, that was intense. But did the water actually burst through the walls, or was she just imagining it during a flashback?? I'm so glad that Hagrid was the one that rescued her, definitely broke it up a bit with it not being Tom (although I certainly wouldn't have minded that!)

And then that scene. With Tom and Hero. UGH. Bianca, you're killing me!!! I mean, I know I got a hint, but STILL!!! WHEN WILL THEY JUST KISS ALREADY, UGH.

Great chapter, as always!


Author's Response: Hi Jill! I wouldn't count on Finn being a good brother if I were you... And to answer your question, yes it did, it just brought back memories. Ha ha patience, my young friend. It's coming, I promise! Thanks for your review x *hug*

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