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11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SilverMoonFairy 

27th August 2016:
*salute* That's right, I just kept reading! I'm going to take a break after this, though, because it's my day off and I need to adult at some point today.

Whoa, now, whoa! Tom sounds like he actually likes Hero. Like, and I don't mean just trying to sweep her off her feet, I mean he used the word 'intoxicating' like she's a drug! Someone as level and calculating as Tom Riddle, I didn't think he was trying to get at her because he LIKED her. I sort of thought at first that it was just a feigned interest for his own... Interest?

OMG FINN! Every story needs a Pickett. Every story needs a Finn. Love!

MORGAN! I have a Morgan, too, but she is not that awesome. I like this guy, though his description reminds me vaguely of James Potter, haha. I hope he comes up again in the future! He seems sweet. (Does he like Hero, too?)

Villain! That's adorable!

I can't decide if this is adorable or mysterious. It's Adorious? Mysterable? MIND BOGGLING! I want to read more, but I really do have to start the laundry and do the dishes and I was going to finish watching Lizzie Bennet today. But I will return, make no doubt! You've caught my interest, Miss Bianca, and it's dangerously intoxicating. *eyebrow waggle*

-Liz

Author's Response: Hey Liz! Omg I love that you compare Finn to Pickett, haha. That makes me so happy. Thanks for the review!

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Review #2, by long_live_luna_bellatrix 

3rd June 2016:
Wow, very interesting moment with Tom. It was simultaneously full of this strange romantic tension on Tom's end, with his comment on how she was "intoxicating" and Hero's horror that he sees any hint of darkness in her. I think you did a really good job with all those conflicting emotions, I was totally engaged. Then, to complicate it even further with the fact that Hero doesn't mind Tom finding her intoxicating... Gah! Wonderful.

I also loved this line: "I smoothed my hair down self-consciously and looked around the classroom as boldly as I could. Theo was glaring at Tom. Emory looked at me excitedly. Finn began making out with his hand." It just perfectly summed up her relationship with everyone in that moment, in so few words.

I don't even know what to say. You did suck-up Tom and Prof. Slughorn SO WELL! I mean it, they were perfect, exactly as I would have pictured that scene playing out in the books or in my mind. The way Tom flattered him, the way Slughorn tried to be subtle about everything and totally wasn't... Fantastic job!

Haha I'm not surprised to see that after I suggested you introduce more minor characters in the previous chapter, that you go ahead and do it in this chapter. Morgan was exactly the kind of character I was thinking of-- I'll remember who he is, I definitely like him, but I know he's not going to be as important as Hero or Tom or someone. Nice touch. The only thing I noticed there is that Hero groaned when Morgan reminded her about Quidditch-- which felt odd to me given that ten seconds earlier she'd introduced him as her new captain. So I figured if she was going to realize she had more responsibilities coming up soon, it would have been when she saw him, not when he mentioned practice, if that makes sense.

I loved how you wrote Dumbledore as a Transfiguration teacher! Also just as I'd imagine him-- stern but also capable of being a little warm to students in quiet moments.

Love the scene at the very end with Tom. Romance plus mysterious magic plus a little bit of that bad boy intrigue? *Swoons* I liked the last two sentences-- they had a nice rhythm, and they wrapped things up nicely.

You're doing such a good job with this story! I'd say keep it up, but I know you just finished it, so I guess I'll just have to keep reading!

Author's Response: Hello! ♥

This review (and the others, lets be honest) has me grinning like an idiot. I'm glad you pick up on the small things, and thank you for all the character compliments :)

Thank you so much ♥ ♥


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Review #3, by TreacleTart 

10th May 2016:
Hello there!

Thought I'd drop by and see how Hero was doing. Based on this chapter, a bit tired and worked up about what she'd seen the night before. Which makes sense since she saw a petrified student. That would be shocking to pretty much anyone, except for Tom Riddle.

While Tom definitely gives me the heebie jeebies because I know who he becomes, I think you've done a great job of making him likable and even a bit seductive. Since Hero is still oblivious to his evil plans, it makes sense that she's totally wrapped up in him. I'm glad that at least her friends seem a bit concerned about her suddenly hanging out with him.

I do hope that Hero begins to see through his ruse. I'm worried that he's going to try and recruit her to the Death Eaters or something worse. I'm almost scared to keep reading.

And you do such a good job of writing Tom. He's so creepy and manipulative and it just leaps off the page. He's easily my favorite part of this story so far.

Great work! I'll be back for the next chapter soon!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hey Kaitlin!

It's so nice of you to come and check on Hero, but - er - yes, not too well I'm afraid.
Tom is so hard to write sometimes so thank you very much for the compliment. Can't wait to see you back! Thanks again ♥


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Review #4, by mymischiefmanaged 

9th April 2016:
Heyy, here for our swap :)

This chapter feels like a bit of a turning point in the story. It's getting darker and I think we're starting to see a little of who Tom really is, although he's still very charming. I'm so intrigued by his actions here. He really does seem genuinely interested in Hero, even though she's starting to see that he's a bit creepy. I wonder what his motives are.

I really like Morgan. He just seems to be exactly who Hero needs. But I have a feeling something nasty might happen to him later on because I can't imagine Tom being that keen on their friendship. And he's muggle born so...

I think it's a shame that Hero doesn't feel able to talk to Emory about what happened over the summer. Emory seems really sweet and cares about Hero, and maybe it would be good for her to talk it through with someone outside her family.

And oh noo she's gone back to Tom at the end! I thought maybe she'd take some time away from him after him saying she's dark, but I guess she's too taken in by him at the moment to really understand that his behaviour was sinister.

This story's too good. I'm so sad that there are only six chapters at the moment!

Emma xx

Author's Response: What makes you think Tom Riddle has motives? (Ha ha kidding!)

Don't be sad - I update weekly! ♥

Thanks Emma xxx


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Review #5, by PaulaTheProkaryote 

3rd April 2016:
Hi there! I couldn't stay away!

"Wasn’t he supposed to be arrogant and mean like Finn’s other Slytherin friends?" Well that's the thing! He's too charming! Charisma is an incredibly dangerous tool!

Despite all of the darkness that Hero is dealing with, she maintains her funniness. I love that about her.

Your characterization of Slughorn is spot on. He's practically taken straight from the books. Even though Harry found him annoying, I think I'd like him as a professor.

For all of Tom's charisma, I wonder if the reason people were so taken aback by Hero and Tom sitting together was house prejudice or if they saw something more in them? I would think the former, because he's just too good at the facade!

In so few words you've summed up your characters and their general demeanor: "Theo was glaring at Tom. Emory looked at me excitedly. Finn began making out with his hand."

It was very thoughtful for Tom to save her potion and to have Hero excused. If I didn't know his background I'd be shipping them so hard right now. I still totally am.

Villain was the perfect owl name. For once Finn did something right.

I'm really interested in the Tom/Dumbledore situation. I mean, we know from the books that in some way Dumbledore could see through Tom, but I can't wait to watch the interactions. I think you're going to do them justice.

I know you already know it, but the best line of the chapter was “Unless you want to find out just how dark I am inside if you refuse, yes.” She's the queen of sass.

Needless to say, I'm excited to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: Yay, I'm glad you couldn't stay away! It means I get to hear from you again! I'm so happy you like everyone's characterisation, it's always so nice to hear. Thank you! ♥

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Review #6, by princesslily_36 

29th March 2016:
Hello Bianca!

I see you've updated twice since I've last been here :D

Oohhh.. that opening scene with Tom - he was so deliciously creepy, if you know what I mean. I'm still amazed at how well you write him. I mean, I could literally hear the whirring inside his head as he was talking - constantly analyzing and calculating something. But that was a different turn - Tom being considerate and all, asking Sluggy to excuse her.

I was just a teenage girl with a temper and a troll for a twin. - This made me laugh so hard. I love Hero's voice. I don't know if I have mentioned it before - but it's typically teenager, and there's the right mix of every emotion in that.

And that whole paragraph about how she wanted to tell Emory so many things but had to hold back so many things - I loved how you had written that. Brought out exactly how so many things were bothering her simultaneously.

Again we see only snippets of the Noah mystery... And how awesome was Dumbledore! Makes me wish I could write him back when he was a teacher and not a headmaster. You've really captured him well.

And yikes, the end was slightly creepy as well. Now I'm wondering if I'm finding it creepy because we KNOW it's future Voldemort... but you've just written him so well, that even Hero's crush on him seems to have a creepy tinge to it, and I don't think it has anything to do with Tom being Voldy, but more to do with your wonderful writing.

Loving this story, and over to the next one!

Ysh!

Author's Response: I definitely know what you mean by "deliciously creepy"! I'm so happy at how you perceive the characters, I'm glad it's all coming across! Thank you Ysh!!! ♥ ♥

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Review #7, by boogerbreath 

25th March 2016:
Two words...

Hippogriff S**t

pure genius.

also I love the sexy flirtatious
“Unless you want to find out just how dark I am inside if you refuse, yes.”

and and and

"you're dangerous"

okay im going to need some calming drought right about now *glug glug*. next chapter!!

Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for reviewing and I hope that potion works out for you. I hear they're hard to brew!

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Review #8, by Felpata Lupin 

15th March 2016:
Shake-what?
Here with your requested review (but I would've come here soon anyway!)

Darkness, thy name is Bianca. You see, I just made an oximoron (sort of) within a Shakespeare quote! Quite proud of myself! :P
But, honestly... this was SO dark!!! And so unsettling!!!
The iinteractions between Tom and Hero were just perfect, in their being creepy and terrifying. You can tell how measured and willful every single move of Tom is. Or maybe I can tell because I know who he is, not sure... either way, it's terrifying. But you write it beautifully!

What I don't know is why he's trying so hard to get close to Hero. Unless Voldemort was capable of love, after all? Mmmh... I doubt it... he has an ulterior motive...

Poor Hero... how scared and confused must she be... so much going on in her life... so much horror... and it's horrible that she has no one to confide in... she can't tell anything to her best friend, either... wish she could confide in Emory at least (I'm a Emory fan, in case you didn't notice... did you notice? I love that girl!!!)

I also really liked Morgan! :D Reminded me a bit of James Potter, which might explain why I'm already in love with him! Hope he'll be around a lot! ;)

Oh, I also would really love to see more Finn/Hero relationship! Siblings' relationships are the best, especially when they are so clearly different! :D

Wonderful chapter!
Thou art wonderful!

Lots of love,
Chiara

Author's Response: Yay your comments about Tom make me happy because that's exactly what I was aiming for - controlling, measured, dark. Ha ha I knew you'd be an Emory fan ;)
Yesss I'm glad you like Morgan because I do too, and yes, you'll see more of him! You will also see more Finn/Hero! Oh, how I spoil you. But it won't be pretty.

Thank you so much Chiara! Xxx


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Review #9, by marauderfan 

11th March 2016:
Hey Bianca! I've had my eye on this story for a while now, because truth be told one of the types of fics I love most is those about people who have unrequited crushes on Tom Riddle. :P

I love your characterization of Tom in this. He seems almost caring, selfless even - the way he helps Hero with her homework and stuff, but then he does things just to set her on edge but not enough to make her dislike him. Like when he asks her about her name, or tells her she's got darkness to her. It's so very like Tom Riddle to be nice to someone to make them get comfortable with him, and then use that against the person and destroy them by preying on their insecurities. As he did to Ginny. Watch out, Hero!!!

I gotta say that I love the name of her owl. Finn might be a pre-Death Eater but I do appreciate his sense of humour in regards to owl names. Villain.. haha. I couldn't think of a better owl name for a person named Hero!

You've done a really good job of spacing out the reveal of what happened to Noah, as well. At this point I think I've got the gist of it but each chapter you reveal a little snippet more and it's really well done.

I'm sure I'll be back next time you update. This is really good so far!

Author's Response: Hey Kristin! Tom is so fun to write because he's so manipulative, and yes, Hero had better watch out! Noah's story is coming up soon, I promise! I just love to torture my readers... and characters... Thank you so much for your review! Xx

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Review #10, by dreamgazer220 

11th March 2016:
Oh Bianca, what a dark tale you're weaving.

So, I LOVED this chapter, like so much. I loved Hero describing Tom's different smiles, and I loved the descriptions of everyone watching Tom and Hero walk into Potions late. It's so bizarre that Slughorn is the Potions Master and Dumbledore is there to teach Transfiguration.

Tom is still super creepy, but you're writing it in such a brilliant way. I loved that he calls her out on being "dark" and calls her "intoxicating", and that she gets excited about it - what girl wouldn't, right? ;)

This story is just. So wonderful. And your writing here is flawless as well.

I also really love Hero's voice. You're doing such a great job with it, and the poor girl can't tell her best friend anything. That must be so hard. I wonder if everything is going to come out somehow?? I mean, probably, right? Secrets can't last forever...

Anyway, I love this. Keep it up!
♥ Jill

Author's Response: I'm glad you think so Jill! But I'm not sure, some secrets can last forever if the right people keep them... ;) so nice to hear from you as always, thank you! Xxx

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Review #11, by AdinaPuff 

11th March 2016:
GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

HONESTLY IT GIVES ME THE CREEPS/GOOSEBUMPS/I DONT EVEN KNOW

Ahem.

Honestly, where have you been all my life??? I have needed and have searched for a story like this. I am DYING to know what is going to happen like gosh this is so awesome. I get so nervous reading this like tom scares me so bad and for obvious reasons. And hero, it's obvious she loves the rush. The danger. She dated a muggle, and now she's into Tom and mostly because of the thrill the danger gives her. I mean, I'm a sucker for that too. Seems it is her fatal flaw.

Calling it now, she's gonna die in the end. That's my prediction :)

Noah is so intriguing. She blames herself, yet he drove over a bridge?? It doesn't make sense but it's so perfectly displayed and portrayed. You lay it out so it can go a thousand ways. Honestly, you need to write a legitimate novel. you possess amazing writing skills.

Theo? Petrified girl? Ugh this is all so confusing and crazy and I love it!! Poor Emory, she wants to know so bad what's going on with her friend, but Hero can't tell her. Tom seems to know though which peaks my interest.

And ugh those last lines. SO POWERFUL. YES HERO HE IS DANGEROUS I SUGGEST HIGH TAILING IT. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

So good. I'm hooked and cannot get enough. Update soon please!! This is amazing work here.

- Leigh xx

Author's Response: Omg Leigh you incredible person! Your reviews put the biggest smile on my face! I love how excited you are and I love that I'm keeping you guessing. And, of course, I love you! Thank you! X

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