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8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ron 4 Hermione 

2nd April 2017:
Hey there, here for CTF!

Aha, this is an interesting chapter. I love Lilyís musings at the start about James and how heís changed and grown up. Itís cute to see how youíve written about how she changed her mind, and what could have potentially led to her dating James. Especially how subtly you've made the hints, itís not some big reveal, just her caring about her appearance and realising she doesnít call him potter, or other bad haha, and I think that makes it more realistic and I really like it.

I also like how you wrote the personalities of James and Lily, especially James in the last scene when he wantís to hide from his friends. Itís almost like heís stuck between a rock and a hard place, but I love how Lily completely throws him off track by saying that they weren't that He clearly wasnít expecting that.

This is a great opening chapter, I just all the subtle little lines and hints of things that make it more realistic and make the characters more them, like ďthat's primarily why i dropped that class.Ē such a great line, and rally shows how James used to be.

Iím interested to see where youíre going to take this story, so Iíll definitely be back after CTF!

-Shaza :)

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Review #2, by SunshineDaisies 

2nd April 2017:
Hiya! I'm here for Hufflepuff CTF!

I'm so pleased I found this story! I love Lily and James, they're my ultimate OTP, so getting to read and review this is such a treat! I love the idea for this story. Seeing little glimpses of their life and relationship rather than an entire epic saga is a nice change of pace for me.

I love that this is where you started off! I think that quite often, Lily/James stories start off with having Lily hating James, but it kind of makes for an unnecessarily long story. I think starting off when they're starting to get along makes for a much more interesting story. I also love this particular scene! Lily often gets portrayed as stuffy goody-two-shoes who never has any fun, so watching her let Sirius and Peter go was nice. I have a suspicion that she might have done so partially to impress James, which makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside :)

You've done a really good job of characterization here, which is impressive considering how short the chapter is. I love your description of Lily's tangled hair, it definitely gives the impression that she usually doesn't care about that sort of thing, which makes it all the more powerful that she's putting effort into her appearance for James. We didn't get a huge glimpse of their characters here, but I think so far, you're doing an excellent job of writing them accurately, and I'm SO picky about Lily.

Excellent job! I hope I get to review this more!

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Review #3, by alicia and anne 

22nd May 2016:
I have a bit of a soft spot for James and Lily fics, so I'm pretty excited about this one. :D

Oh Lily, I think that we all know why you're putting so much effort into your appearance. You love Potter, just admit it out loud. :D

Those two are so adorable, aren't they? They bring me such joy!

I bet that they're going to catch Sirius and Peter.

Ahh! called it! I knew that they would! haha.

And she walked away! Oooh go Lily! I love that she's let them get away with it :D Look at her pretending that she was never there!

I can't wait to read more of this, it's so cute and adorable already and I can't wait to read more of them two together, falling in love slowly. :D

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Review #4, by victoria_anne 

8th March 2016:
Ooh is that luuurve I smell in the air? Hm, smells a bit like coffee...

Oh, wait, that's my actual coffee.

This is a super cute moment, a little transition between Lily and James going from constantly at each other's throats to a bit of appreciation and respect perhaps?

The prank between Sirius and Peter is absolutely hilarious. It's weird to imagine them working together for some reason, but of course it would be over a prank rather than school work!

I loved the way you describe Lily's feelings on seeing James, I was totally like *squee you don't fool me Lily youlikeimyoulikehim*

Ha ha look at Lily letting them get away with it! How cheeky of her. And James' reason for dropping Care of Magical Creatures? Hilarious. I think Peter and Sirius need to be more careful with their prank planning next time!

An awesome little moment, I'm impressed you managed to get so much across in so little words and still have it flow naturally!

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Review #5, by princesslily_36 

5th March 2016:
FOR THE HPFF REVIEW-A-THON

Olivia, You had a Jily up! I HAD TO come over!

Ohh yaay, it starts in 7th year! Lily already seems to have noticed that James has become a little mature. PLUS, she seems to be getting that hearty-racey thingie of a new-found attraction. Awww!

Was he nervous, by any chance? - When Lily thought this I felt like yelling at her 'Of course he's nervous you silly girl, he's been in love with you for ages!'

Shall I say how I ADORE that you have decided to keep Sirius the same (because I would literally break if the Marauder pranking had to die off!)

Also the ending - LOVELY! I mean, Lily turning a blind eye to their pranks - marks a turning point for her too. I love how you have shown thatt it was not only James who changed for her, but she too relaxed a bit around him once she started liking him. Most fics portray her to be perfect, and their influence on each other to be one sided...but I like this :D

Over to the next chapter now!

XOXO
~Ysh

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Review #6, by Secret Cupid! ♥ 

14th February 2016:
Hello, and Happy Valentine's Day!! So sorry for arriving so late with you reviews. The weekend has been SO busy for me.

Anyways, I was so excited to see that you had this lovely little Jilly story updated! This first chapter was really good. A bit on the short side, but you still managed to capture so much about their personalities in such a short amount of time. I loved that about this!

It was super sweet seeing how awkward James was around her at first, and Lilly was very intelligent for noticing how nervous he was right away. But then, once they got to talking, the nerves seemed to go away and the two of them got along great. I loved their little banter back and forth. It is very like Lilly Evans to eavesdrop on the Marauder's conversations in class, lol! I loved it how James didn't even try to deny it once they were busted too, lol!

I have to admit, seeing Sirius & Peter working together was a nice refreshing twist from the norm. It's always interesting, reading marauder scenes with the two of them together, considering their upcoming futures. Most people would have probly had him down in the dungeons with Remus instead, but I'm glad you went with Peter.

It was also a pleasant surprise when Lilly went with it at the end. Of course, she had plenty of time to plan her reaction on the way down to the dungeon. So it was nice to see her cut the boys some slack for a change. She's usually a rule-abider, as we all know, but it is nice to see her playful side every once in a while. I mean, she marries James Potter, so she can't possibly be 100% serious ALL the time, lol! ;)

Overall, this is off to a wonderful beginning, and I cannot wait to see what the next chapter brigs us!! Well done!!

XOXO ~ Cupid ♥

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Review #7, by cherry_pop94 

28th October 2015:
Hi!

I'm here for BvB!

I love Lily and James stories, though I don't read them very often. I really like how you've interpreted them here though. The nervousness, the change Lily notices. And that she doesn't get Sirius and Peter in trouble in the end!

James's mannerisms throughout this whole thing were adorable too. Though this is quite short, I really got a good look into who Lily and James are. They're shy, they're a little awkward around each other. They like each other so much and it is so clear!

Thanks for sharing this adorable story!

Stefanie

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Review #8, by Musing 

22nd October 2015:
Heya Olivia!

Musing from the forums, here for the BvB review fest! I saw your post in the Ravenclaw Story Updates Thread and came 'hopping' here all the way from the forums! I can't help it. I just love Jily :P

This was a cute little one-shot. Lily's feelings for James have started changing. She has even started acknowledging the way James has changed and matured. The part where she deduces that James is nervous in her presence is adorable. I like the easy flowing conversation between them while they talk about their patrol duties.

Initially I thought that this story is similar to many others I have read (not that I am complaining, I can read the same Jily fluff over and over again :P ). You changed it all with the last sentence, of course. Your Lily is just not the perfect rule abiding girl most of the fan-fics make her out to be. Did I mention I find this version of Lily more real and canon-compliant? I mean James, being James, would not have given up his mischievous streak altogether and Lily still loved him. She needs to be a little fun-loving herself for that to happen.

Thanks for the lovely read! Looking forward to the upcoming four parts. The Jily fan in me requests for longer chapters! *gives puppy dog eyes*

-Emm ^_^

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