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2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan 

23rd September 2015:
TEHHH ♥ Gah, I saw that you'd updated this story weeks ago and because I'm a horrifically slow reviewer I have only just now found the time to catch up and read these most recent two chapters, which I'm so glad about because I'd missed this fic! Also, I really love the new title. Anyway, enough of me rambling, onto the review!

The swollen heat of July collapses into August, drawing out of the marshlands a living vapour of mosquitoes and midges. The summer loses its sharpness and turns clammy and permeable, seeping through all layers of earth, brick, fabric and skin. - !!! Your descriptions are SO GOOD. Every time I read anything by you I'm just blown away - like I don't just see the scene, I feel it, because you incorporate so many senses and details into your descriptions. I'm in awe, really.

Your portrayal of Ariana is so fresh and interesting, both from her own point of view and as seen by Albus and Aberforth. As seen from her own perspective, things make sense because that's how she is experiencing things (until you step back and really analyse what's happening and see that it's all in her head), and as seen from an outsider like her brothers, she seems to just exist in an entirely different phase from everything else. Like she'll be there in one moment, aware, knowing that her brothers underestimate her, or having a normal conversation about wanting an owl, but then sort of check out in the next moment and lose interest. She's just so interesting to read about. I loved that she uses her own voice to be the voice of Glass Girl and the other women she regularly 'sees'.

I really love the way in which you've been developing the relationship between Albus and Gellert, writing letters all the time, analyzing each other's character, and the hints of anything more than friendship are so subtle because of the time period, but evident - and I was in a way unsurprised that the kiss happened when it did - even though I think there was sentiment behind it, in a way because of the timing it felt sort of as a way for Gellert to get back at Albus for winning the duel - he points out something Albus is trying to keep hidden. Gellert is such a mastermind, such a calculating thinker.

(also, that duel was awesome.)

And Marvolo Gaunt shows up at the end! :O Wait... it has been months since the Thimble letter plot was introduced so this might have already been covered and I'd forgotten, but is Gellert posing as Thimble to get the Hallows from Marvolo Gaunt?!?! AJSDFJASLDJ WOWOW things just got really interesting (not that they were uninteresting before but... this is like a whole new twist thrown in and I just didn't predict that at all. I'm excited.

And there's another chapter waiting for me! :D See you again with more gushing words of praise on that one.

Author's Response: Kristin! ♥

FINALLY I'm responding to all your wonderful reviews. I'm so sorry... *hides in shame*

Thank you so much for yet another fantastic review; thank you for continuing to read and follow this story, and the huge encouragement you've given me all this while with your amazing comments. *sobs*

I do love reading your analysis of Ariana! I feel that you really understand her, and that you understand that the apparitions/visions/hallucinations/whatever that she sees are valid and real to her. I would watch for those moments when she "checks out" though; Ariana is not as mad as everyone thinks she is.

Albus and Gellert ah ♥ Talk about relationships that could have been...Gellert is definitely on the more manipulative side of things; I think that he would be immensely attracted to Albus, and is perhaps a little desperate to have Albus on his side. And he's so used to getting whatever he wants. If only he had more empathy, more reason, could think more rationally.

Marvolo Gaunt indeed shows up. :P Young Marvolo Gaunt, at least. I dont know if I'll even be successful with that particular subplot, or if it's realistic and will fit into canon, but hopefully it will be. :P

Thank you once again for the fabulous review, Kristin! ♥

-teh


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Review #2, by CambAngst 

25th August 2015:
Hi, teh! You're right, this chapter has been a long time coming. But it was totally worth the wait! We're in the middle of a common room review event, so please indulge me for a bit of scorekeeping:

GryCReMo (Review #33)

I love the way you book-ended the chapter with the story of Marvolo Gaunt. I didn't expect to encounter him in this story and it was a really nice surprise. The physical attributes you gave him -- which could be taken as signs of inbreeding -- fit perfectly with his surly, entitled, arrogant demeanor. On the one hand I don't want Gellert getting his hands on the Resurrection Stone, but on the other hand I wouldn't mind seeing any number of bad things happen to Marvolo. What a dilemma!

You're doing a good job of working all of the angles to show how Albus is bored, unhappy and feeling very put-upon to have to stay at home and look after Ariana. Sitting around, writing tedious journal articles for money... it's obviously beneath him.

I love the way you write Ariana. It's hard to even come up with the right words to explain what I like so much about her. She's a little creepy, but also lovable. It's not at all hard to see why Aberforth is so devoted to her and why even Albus can't be cross with her when she's right in front of him. Nice allusion to the three women, by the way, even if Albus can't see or hear them.

Hmmnn... I wonder whether there's a bit of magic in that pine cone doll. Perhaps something that will come in handy when the final showdown between Albus, Aberforth and Gellert happens.

Another wonderful bit of color added to Gellert's back story. His mother's fascination with saints and martyrdom has definitely reinforced his feelings of being unfairly limited and restrained by a world that doesn't embrace his morally flexible views on the use of magic. The letter he sends to Albus makes his feelings abundantly clear. Why should he be the one relegated to the shadows of the world when he wields the power to change it?

The duel... I have to admit that I wish it had been longer. Two masters of the form could have made for such an incredible, mind-blowing, edge-of-your-seat experience. At a minimum, it would have been neat to see Albus use Transfiguration as a weapon, the way he does against Voldemort. Regardless, I loved the outcome. Gellert loses control and it ignites a fury within Albus.

Ah, the kiss! Very nicely done. I think you hit the perfect notes with that moment. And you even gave Gellert an odd sort of quasi-sincerity about the whole thing. Whether he's driven by his physical attraction to Albus or his desire for the unlimited power that Albus could help him achieve -- possibly both -- his infatuation felt completely genuine.

Great job! I'm really looking forward to more!

Author's Response: Dan! ♥

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

...four months later and here I am, responding to your amazing review. *hides* I'm so sorry for my tardiness; you are one of the few readers who've been coming back faithfully to this fic, no matter how long it takes me to update. And you're right, this chapter was indeed long overdue...nearly a year, I think.

And of course you know what's happened to Gaunt by now. I included Gaunt in this story (even though his appearance in Ariana's life probably wouldn't have crossed JKR's mind...) to throw in something unexpected. We all know the Dumbledore story; JKR pretty much told us the whole thing (albeit with gaps and missing perspectives) in DH.

Love the way you describe Ariana! Lovable and creepy--I'm glad you find her intriguing as a character in such a way. I don't want her to be a helpless little child who can hardly speak; I wanted to interpret her character in a more interesting way, perhaps to make her as capable as Albus and Aberforth and Gellert, though still not free from her past trauma.

I did have a bit of fun with Gellert's background. I was toying around with the definition of the word "hallow", which is an archaic word for "saint". And a bit of research to Gellert's name led me to the discovery that one of the patron saints of Hungary was called Gellert (Sagredo)...and that gave me a clearer picture of where Gellert came from and how he grew up.

You know, after reading your comments, I do wish that I'd made the duel scene longer. With more stunts and spells. I'm slapping myself for the missed opportunity! :P But there is still at least one more duel scene/skirmish, so you just might get all the magical action, if you stick around! :P

Thank you once again for all your brilliant reviews, Dan! ♥ Thanks for your support, your compliments and your encouragement. You're a wonderful friend.

-teh


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