6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by water_lily43175 

9th December 2015:
"Fear was a cage, and Eva had spent a long time being afraid. Afraid of consequences, afraid of death. But death had already come and she still stood."

Oh man, this sentence just about broke me. Because before, she didn't care about anyone else, it was HER death she was afraid of. But Albus' 'death' has practically killed her too and OH MY GOD IT'S ROMANTIC AND TRAGIC ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

And thank god he's not dead. Yet. I don't trust you with your characters' lives any more.

Arrest of the Minister AND his office? That's ... radical. Very radical. Did the Council really reach that far into the Ministry? Oops.

Lumos. HA. Thornweavers. OOPS.

Author's Response: Yeah, I didn't think I could get away with trying to make everyone thing Al was dead for, like, 3 chapters. I just thought you'd all yell at me for being cheap and yanking your chains like that. :-D Also originally there was going to be more content from Al's side while in Geiger's hands, but it became kind of superfluous.

The Council really have done some nasty things with influence in Britain...

LET THERE BE LIGHT. Ha. And, yeah, shut the bloody door, why don't you?

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Review #2, by Manila_traveler 

23rd August 2015:
I just have one question -- this Minister Halvard, is this the same person as the guy you mentioned in your Ron Weasley story? The guy who was the DADA instructor at the time, and a former Hit Wizard? It seems odd for him to have his entire staff composed of Thornweaver agents, given that background.

Also, I personally dislike the name Amadeus Candlestone. What the hell is a candlestone anyway. But I digress and that's not really relevant!

Moving on to more substantial criticism, while all three story lines are progressing nicely, I do think that the presentation of the Styx as the ultimate Macguffin seems to diminish the importance of our prior Macguffin, the Chalice. Why should Matt continue with all this research about people with names that only Tolkien could love, if the Styx is indeed more powerful than anything else around? Assuming that Rose can get the word out while Scorpius deals with your Bellocq knockoff.

Author's Response: Good catch on the Halvard connection, but it's not the same guy. I reused the name because I like giving the impression of a wider world with various major wizarding families around. The two would be related, but a Hit Wizard didn't become a politically minded but weak war-time Minister.

'Candlestone' is just an odd name I stumbled across which I figured suited wacky wizarding world family names.

If the Styx swans in and solves everyone's problems, that WOULD take away from the Chalice as the ultimate MacGuffin. Suffice to say it won't be that easy. The Styx is more there to lend some further idea of how the plagues might have come about.

'Names only Tolkien could love' - poor Welsh mythology. But yes, sometimes they do get a bit bogged down in that. I will occasionally be guilty of history nerding.

And, it seems, an Indiana Jones nerding. ;) Poor Castagnary wasn't meant to be seen again after Chapter 1, so I had no qualms about making him a bit of a reference. I should know my own jokes would come back to haunt me.

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #3, by backcountrytraveller 

17th August 2015:
Gah! It's almost stupid of them not to hide their tracks, check to see if anyone was following, AND not close the door behind them! Haven't they been in enough situations like this to be incredibly wary!? But nonetheless it's been an awesome chqpter - and story - so far. Stuffs getting intense, and dammmnnn can't wait to find out what happens to everyone! Eva/Al and Rose/Scorp are def my fav storylines in this so far. Matt's just so ... moody about everything, and full of self loathing? Idunno, but much more to.come I'm sure and I'll be along for the ride, no matter how dark and terrible it gets! Thanks for writing :)
Also, (such a minor thing I don't know if it's worth mentioning) you made Baffin Island seem more like Norway than Canada. Jorgen as one example (& I do know it's a 'wizarding town' and he's probably an immigrant and all), but -in one sense maybe it should have been Ice Caribou instead of Elk. Elk (magic elk might be the exception haha) don't have a range that far North - or anywhere closeby.. Maybe for me that was one of thethings that jarred me out of the story. Also, a ship grtting through almost impassible ice - in wintertime sea ice in the northern waters freezes ridiculously thick. But I mean, there's magic involved as well. Maybe I just wasn't in the right mindset as well, when I read that part! :) Adventure awaits!

Author's Response: Yeah, they've made a screw-up there. They let the frozen wastes of their surroundings get the better of them. I don't think they've been followed into trouble before, at least, so this is their first time. Maybe they'll learn from being dim. ;)

Matt IS moody. His man-pain is great and he shoulders the burdens of the world, whether the world likes it or not. Thankfully, Selena usually cuts him down to size.

Baffin Island! I'm glad you brought it up. Okay, maybe not the elk bit, because that one's totally my screw-up on my research. I swear Ice Elk really were a last minute invention so something could pull the carriage tirelessly, with minimal supervision or knowledge of animal handling. I think I probably named them when suddenly I had a carriage to worry about and intended to go back and beef up my research. Then forgot! Write notes to yourself, people. It really helps. When the story gets a sexy revamping with better special effects, they will be Ice Caribou. Or MAYBE something names EVEN MORE inventively. Good catch.

BUT. The Norwegian elements (while possibly wrong) weren't off-hand mistakes (they were well-researched mistakes). I kid. The name 'Helluby' was derived from 'Helluland', an island discovered by Norse explorers c. 1000 CE. Helluland is thought by modern scholars to in fact be Baffin Island.

Now, Scorpius mentioned that Cassian and Raskoph both investigated Baffin Island as they followed in the footsteps of Viking wizards, who went in search for ancient magical artifacts. The idea is that Helluby was a Norse magical settlement from those expeditions, and unlike the real world Norse settlements, it survived the thousand years. Since then it became integrated with the local Inuit people; Jorgan names some local business owners in Chapter 33, and those are Inuit names. In the first draft of 35 there was a mention of the fisherman speaking an Inuit language, but that came at an intense moment where Rose pondering local dialects seemed ODD, so that got cut. But he was an Inuk. So there is some method to that madness, or this is at least my (perhaps erroneous and misguided) thinking.

I hate to hand-wave the frozen seas issue with 'magic,' but I think I'm going to have to hand-wave it with 'magic' and 'magical explosives.' It would explain why they had so MANY magical explosives to hand.

Still! I like it when people are engaged enough to pick up on this stuff. Thanks a bunch for the review!

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Review #4, by Gurllll 

16th August 2015:
The ScoRose kiss! Finally!! I'm sorry but - just - OMG

Author's Response: Those kids like to draw it out and make you wait. Or, no, that's me.

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #5, by Joe 

12th August 2015:
I've been reading this story on and off for the last two years. I don't think I've previously commented but I wanted to say that the development of these characters has been fantastic throughout the story. I love the research that you put into this and the mixed history/magic which almost seems like this could all be plausible (I appreciate the authors notes explaining how you arrived to these conclusions as well).

I really love the passion that you've given each of these characters with their own unique story.

Personally, ever since Mrs. Rourke took control I always thought she was one of the bad guys and that this had perhaps a bit too much of a star wars feel to the plot. But perhaps I'm entirely wrong and she's actually straight and honest in which case that would be a bigger plot twist in my mind than her actually being on the "bad" side of things.

Regardless, I just wanted to say thank you for doing all of this, it's an impressive work before it's even completed and I wish you the best of luck with your writing career.

Author's Response: Hey, very glad you decided to review! I'm happy you enjoy my wacky research obsessions, I sometimes wonder if I've gone overboard (which is why I like to leave some details for the author's notes, you guys can skip those if you don't care too much about my nerdy historical extrapolations).

People do like suspecting Lillian Rourke of being up to no good. Poor woman. She just wants to save the world. Or maybe she's literally pulling a Palpatine, that's true. And it would be pretty unfortunate.

Thank you very much!

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Review #6, by kaeliebear 

12th August 2015:
Finally!!! We get some scor/rose action!! I love your stories but it's taken those two FOREVER to sort through their mutual issues!!

I've grown to really love Eva as a character. When she first showed up in Starfall I didn't like her. I was mad at her when she broke Albus' heart. But now i really love her, she's so strong. Can't wait for next chapter.

Author's Response: And hey, just because they've kissed doesn't mean it's plain sailing. Remember their first kiss? That didn't go so well, DID IT. HA. I COULD BE STRINGING YOU ALONG MORE.

Ahem. I am capricious, do not trust me.

So glad Eva's growing on people! I didn't expect her to be liked in Starfall, but I'm glad that's changing.

Thanks for reviewing!

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