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4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Marshal 

2nd April 2017:
Pieces are finally coming together and things are making more sense. Of course the sensible thing to do would be to read things in order but that cannot be done this day.

Anyway I love the start of the chapter - dire situation and the girls talk about Wren's crush on Albus. Many authors who try to weave romance or moments like these into dire situations fail horribly at it and I'm talking published works here, but you managed it well and realistically. I didn't find myself scoffing at them and I think it helped that you acknowledged that to some this is the worst time to talk about romance and tease a person about a potential love interest but then gave a good reason why to do it. Honestly that was brilliantly done on your part!

I also love the interaction between James and Albus you write them well as brothers, I loved them passing the map back and forth between than. That was so brotherly and I like how James encouraged Albus to be with his girl and try to help her.

As for the end of the chapter you've certainly set up a true cliff hanger I'm very much wanting to know what happens next, fill in the gap between this chapter and the last!

Again while I'm jumping all over the place on this story I have been enjoying and it is very well written.

Author's Response: Ah yeah, this chapter would put things together for you. I really hope you get to read this thing in order one day. I'd love to know what you thought about all the little things and how they came together. That would be so awesome and cool. Maybe we could do a review swappy thing sometime?

Awww... your compliments made me all tingly. I knew it was the worst time, but if you think you're going to die, there's no time like the present to clear the air. Teens tend to have that immortality vibe going on, so I didn't want a lot of regret, just the "now or never" feel. So I'm glad that worked for you without it feeling hokey or misplaced, or awkward... actually, it was supposed to be awkward so...

James was written as a jerk through a bit of the previous chapters. This was his reconciliation scene. :)

I truly have enjoyed these whirlwind reviews and I hope you at least got to enjoy the parts of the story that you read. Hopefully, you'll get to come back one day and read it all in order.

I'm serious about the review swap thing...

Thanks so much! I loved all of your words!

Pix


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Review #2, by CambAngst 

28th August 2015:
More, more, more!

GryCReMo (Review #39)

It's kind of miraculous that Wren managed to keep her thing for Albus away from Rose for this long. Maybe it's because she couldn't admit it even to herself. Maybe Rose isn't all that tuned in to matters of romance. Callie obviously is. All that said, I liked the way that Rose reacted. There was a release of tension there. She wasn't making light of Wren's feelings, only of the fact that it took them all so long to come to an understanding.

More… he’d probably have to get his pants adjusted again before Winter Break, maybe even before Halloween, which was only a week away. -- So impractical! That would obviously offend Wren's sensibilities. ;)

So while Rose and Callie are laughing some sense into Wren, James smacks some sense into Albus. Figuratively, of course, but in a typical brotherly fashion. Good on you, James.

Aww, he doesn't think she's crazy and she gives him some credit for being able to help. It's a start.

Sharing a rabbit. It's sort of like when couples decide it's serious enough to get a dog together, except for teenagers in a vampire-enthralled castle.

One thing confused me a little. Albus seems to just know how "personal" the thrall bond is and I'm not sure how. Observing Wren and McGonagall was really no different from observing the Prefects. I wasn't completely sure why it was suddenly such an epiphany.

Ah, so the full-blooded vampires don't appear on the Marauder's Map. Interesting. I wonder what that makes Dillon? Some sort of hybrid with an unfocused soul?

Oh, wow. There's a cliffhanger for you. It doesn't seem like Smeed killed McGonagall, but he wasn't very kind to her, either. What on earth will happen next? Tune in next time...

So close to the end! I'm excited, but also exhausted. I think I'll do the last one in the morning!

Author's Response:

More!! I feel so spoiled right now. This is amazing.

If it were up to Callie, Wren would have come clean in chapter -1, and this whole Albus thing would have been a non-issue. Being that there are no negative chapters in this story, and that the main conflict would have had to be rewritten, Callie's idea of perpetual bliss had to be shot down. She also wanted this to turn into one of those "let's pair everyone off" romance fantasy things. Boy was she disappointed when I sent her to re-read her contract. Apparently now she's auditioning for the remake of "Friends". I wish her the best.

I always had this type of a scene in mind for Rose and Wren to come to terms with things. Rose has not been the most understanding of friends, so I had to show that in the end, she does care about Wren's feelings and she is ultimately supportive of her when it comes to touchy things. Also, Rose has a high opinion of Wren, or otherwise they wouldn't be so close. You know how Rose is...

Yes. Wren and her sensibilities. I'm glad that came through loud and clear. ;)

"... serious enough to get a dog together..."

Um. Yeah, actually. Just like that. :P I really looked hard at this section, and I couldn't figure out what to add to this without breaking up the flow. Sometimes I just have to let things go... without breaking into song, thank you.

Thank you SO MUCH for sticking with this story. Your reviews are gold!

Pix


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Review #3, by ScorpiusRose17 

16th August 2015:
Hi Pix!

I am finally here with your review! I am so sorry it has taken me this long to once again get to this for you.

Chapter 26: The plot is really unfolding fast and furiously in this chapter. I am so happy to know that it wasn't Bunny who hurt Rose. It was another rabbit instead. I was a bit upset with Wren and the choice that she made. Yes it is selfless, but it is also selfish in a way. I felt bad for Albus who obviously is upset with her for the choice she made too. I understand his sort of devastation and I hope that they are able to work this out in the end. Smeed's story line is really well done and I am really liking how even Nate's uncle ties into this as well. His story was sad. I also really liked how James and Albus are now setting aside everything to work together. This is getting crazy. I mean I knew that this was going to happen, but it is still just insane that something so seemingly innocent can turn into this crazy and wild!

Chapter 27: I am so worried about what is going to happen. I am literally on the edge of my seat!! I am so glad that James is there to help Albus especially with all the prefects being enthralled! I am glad that they are going to find Rose and the others. Hopefully they won't all be enthralled. That Madam Pince is just really gone off the deep end. She almost seems like she is liking this more than they are. No No No... McGonagal what are you thinking!?!? Ugh... No!

Chapter 28: I really loved this chapter! I loved how Neville just sort of feeds the punch to the plant and apologizes to it. I am glad to see that at least some of the students have been saved from the awful Dillon and his evil plan! Oh and I liked how Rose and Scorpius sort of deal with their issues. I also loved the answer to the Ravenclaw Riddle. I really hope that they are able to pull of their plan! I am worried about how they are going to do that now especially with Dillon knowing how to becoming basically immortal thanks to Ian and his big mouth!

Chapter 29: I loved this chapter! Finally Wren admits her feelings for Albus to Rose and Callie! I thought it was hilarious how Rose acted with the pictures and Wren too! I cannot believe that I am saying this, but I am so happy that Bunny is helping Wren. She's right, she cannot do this herself. I love how Bunny is almost like a double agent here! I am glad that Albus and James are safe too and working together. McGonagall is sort of creepy acting all lovey. Oh. My. Goodness... MCGONAGAL! SMEED! WHAT!??!

Overall, this has been an incredible story. I have always thought I kind of had an idea of what was going to happen and that there would be tons of twists and turns, but this was just... just EPIC! I loved the characterizations, the relationships and how they are all banding together to make this story work as the plot releases its wild hidden self! I love it!

Keep up the Superb work!! I am really looking forward to seeing what is going to happen especially after the really large Cliff Hanger at the end!!

-Jenn

Author's Response:

Hi!

Chapter 26: Wren's choice was really hard, but I'd set her up to do this from the very beginning. I hope I sold it well enough that even though it's not what she SHOULD do, it makes sense that she went ahead and did it anyway.

Chapter 27: Pince is definitely not doing anyone favors around this time. And McGonagall's a strong witch. But, yeah. There's this cute little rabbit...

Chapter 28: Hehehe, I love the Neville bit too. One day, when I'm braver, I'd love to tackle him in a main role, but right now I don't have any solid ideas. Rose and Scorpius finally get a chance to talk things through... sort of... but you know there's more chapters left so I couldn't resolve things completely just yet. And also, BAD IAN! You are welcome to yell at him all you want.

Chapter 29: So close! And whee, double-agent Bunny! I bet you never thought you'd write something like that, did you? :P This was one of those Big Scenes that I couldn't wait to write. It's also why Smeed demanded more story. There was a situation after this, let me tell you, but I managed to talk him down.

Thanks so much for sticking with this story all the way through. It's been such a treat getting your thoughts along the way. Two more chapters to go. I hope it resolves in a satisfying way for you.

Pix



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Review #4, by RavenclawFTW 

8th August 2015:
Hey Pix!

Okay, so I read this chapter right when you posted it and didn't review, which was no good. So I'm coming back now to remedy that error!

First off I reread the last chapter to get oriented and I loved Rose's comment to James about Al/Wren and James's response. :) That helped tighten up a few things to me! Also thanks so much for the shoutout-- you really didn't need to, and it was my pleasure to look over this! Okay, onto this update...

I really enjoyed this chapter!

I liked the contrast between the girl talk about Al and Wren and James and Al's talk about them. Rose and Callie had great reactions to Wren's news and I enjoyed how flustered Wren got trying to talk to Rose about it. And then I thought the reference to Ginny's advice to her kids about actions vs feelings was really cute, and was a nice way to show Al and James's brotherly bond that's kinda been strained until now.

And then the scene in McGonagall's office was 1. really funny about the rabbit sharing thing and 2. impressive on Wren's part. I also like how Al is slowly coming around to realize that it's the same Wren but also how everything has been affecting her and that it wasn't really her fault in the end.

This is kinda random, but I'm curious to see if the effects of this whole adventure influence Wren's decisions after Hogwarts at all. It seems like she's becoming a thrall specialist person (especially given how she understands McGonagall's actions) and I wonder if that's going to affect her at all. Or maybe not.

I'm trying to ignore the cliffhanger because I'm sure it's going to work out. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.but I think you told me only two chapters to go so everything will get resolved next chapter? Hopefully? Ugh, update soon! :D

--J

Author's Response:

Hi! You cam back!!

:)

Ah, I'm glad you liked that addition. Thanks for pointing out that it needed something more. I found an appropriate spot for it! And you should take the credit. Helpful comments are very helpful!

Contrast is, like, one of the most favorite things of mine. I don't always use it to its fullest advantage, but here, it was really great to show that the girls and the boys each had a different focus. I also wanted to show that James and Albus aren't completely antagonistic to each other. They went through a rough patch, but it's on the mend.

Haha, the rabbit sharing! I'm so glad that I wasn't the only one who thought that was funny, after all they'd been through. Absolutley, that's exactly what Albus needs to realize here.

Your randomness is also something that I've thought about. I didn't carry it through, but know that I did think about long-term consequences.

Two more chapters. Things will resolve. Updates are coming. Promise.

Thanks for another fantastic review!!

Pix



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