2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

17th July 2015:
Hi again, Kiana! Yay, I get to read two of your updates in one go (because I've been terrible at reviewing recently and I'm trying to finally catch up with some of my favourite stories)!

The opening of this chapter was so sad and upsetting. I really felt so sorry for Helena - it was like everything had been washed to grey and she couldn't see past it. It reminded me a lot of the opening of the first chapter, in a way (and I'm supposing that was intentional), when she thought of Eleanor and watched her from afar, as she does that here, but at the same time there's less hope here. It's almost as if everything else is even worse than before now she's known what it's like to be with Eleanor.

Rowena is just... so unloving. And I suppose in a way representative of some of the mothers that exist even now, sadly, let alone at a time when rich women spent barely any time with their children and those children were essentially brought up by servants. The way that she treats Helena is really upsetting to see, because I can't imagine what it would be like to have a parent like that - she can't compliment her or really show compassion, and she just expects Helena to do what she's told for the good of the family. And even though Rowena knows that Edward isn't a good person - even when she sees it here, right before her eyes - she doesn't care, she only wants to assure that there's a good match made for her family and a connection that will continue to help Hogwarts.

I don't like Edward at all. I've seen a few different portrayals of the Bloody Baron in life but I don't think I've seen any that are quite so unlikeable as this one! I don't know why - I think part of it is because he's just trying to cover up and put on a show in some ways, and his act isn't as good as he thinks it is, and there are hints of his real nature slipping through. I feel like he could be quite a dangerous man to cross - well, we know that he is, when he gets angry - and if Helena had ever married him, her life would have been very unhappy.

I had to laugh a little bit about Helena thinking of someone who's twenty-eight old. Because it's really not that old, but at this time when life spans were so much shorter it probably was, and she's definitely right about the difference in their ages being a lot, even if at this time that was hardly an obstacle and was actually quite common.

Helena has so many problems and issues that I just want to give her a big hug. I feel like if she were alive now she'd have had so much more help but she was more of a victim of her time too, because there are so many things she struggles with mentally, and now that's making me really sad to think about the fact that mental health just didn't even exist as a concept at this time, and not just then but for so many years afterwards, and so many people suffered without help being available :(

Okay, that was a tangent that was probably unnecessary :P Sorry about that!

The scene with Eleanor getting through to Helena finally was so sweet! ♥ I think Helena has been so afraid of loving people - because, let's face it, what has she experienced of love up to now in her life? - that she's been pushing Eleanor away just because of that, let alone all of the other things that she struggles with about their relationship. But Eleanor isn't as apathetic and cold as Helena thought she was and it was so sweet to see her going after Helena and making sure she knew that she wanted to be there for her. The 'I love you' moment was adorable.

The last section of this chapter was just so ominous in tone, and it felt really foreboding. Now I know that there are only four chapters left, too, I know that things can't go well for long, no matter how much I want them to. It's so terrible of Rowena to say that Helena is to blame for the badness that she sees in Edward - it's almost as if she knows that it's there and she's washing her hands of it, and will say that Helena pushed him to bad behaviour if they get married. It makes me so angry with Rowena for that. I'm looking forward to the next chapter (although a bit apprehensive about it, too) and again, good luck with all the updating you want to do! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #2, by Beeezie 

16th July 2015:
Hey, Kiana! Back for BvB. :)

Oh, Helena. The beginning of this chapter is heartbreaking, and I can really feel how much she's faded away having lost (sacrificed?) her connection with Eleanor, at least for the moment. I found the fact that she assumed that she was just experimentation and recklessness to Eleanor to be particularly sad - it really speaks to her very low self-esteem and depression, which you portrayed very clearly throughout the chapter.

And it's clear that Eleanor is not as dissociated and apathetic as Helena seems to think as the chapter goes on. I loved their meeting by the lake - where every other relationship in this fic is strained and contentious on some level, even Helena's with Helga, her relationship with Eleanor is beautiful. I suppose it is contentious, in a way, but what they have and what Eleanor brings out in her is lovely in so many ways. I want them to hold hands and walk and kiss and be in love forever. Helena never seems at peace except when she's with Eleanor, and it's nice to see her as such. She's got far too much anxiety and tension in her life.

You're really not letting up on your portrayal of Rowena as being a rather harsh and even neglectful mother. Helena can be rather pretty when she smiles? Seriously? So she's not pretty the rest of the time, and even when she does smile she's only sort of pretty? Guaranteeing continued contributions to the school is on Helena being a good wife to a man Rowena doesn't know at all? Well, then. I can see where some of Helena's low self-esteem is coming from.

I already don't like Edward. I'm assuming that's intentional. Maybe part of it is that Helena is so clearly and deeply in love with Eleanor that I'm a little in love with Eleanor having immersed myself in the story again, or maybe it's just that I really dislike men who need their egos stroked the way Edward seems to need (or at least Rowena seems to think he needs), or maybe it's his casual dropping of the word 'Mudblood' and love for Slytherin and all those other little things that scream 'I am not the best person ever.' Or all of those, and other things on top of it. Regardless, though, I don't like him at all.

I liked that even Rowena was displeased by the mention of Slytherin - though it doesn't seem to stop her from pursuing the match. Ugh. Rowena, be a better mother.

There was one thing I wasn't sure about, though. Some of your dialogue tags seemed a little awkward - for example, Rowena "shrieking" before Helena meets Edward seemed a little jarring to me. I get speaking seriously or intensely, but why on earth is she shrieking about it?

That aside, though, this was lovely. Amazing job, and I can't wait for you to upload the next chapter!

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