2 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

20th June 2016:

There were so many beautiful lines in this chapter (although aren't there always) that I want to quote back to you, but I'm afraid that it would fill the review and there'd be no characters left for me to actually write something :P But your descriptions of Lampedusa were beautiful! I really, really want to visit it now - I can picture it in my mind as the paradise that you described it to be.

I loved the fact that this chapter started with the notion of paradise for Gellert, and ended with the possibility of that paradise. Albus appeared in that dream of his paradise and then Albus actually appeared there too. I really liked the two possibilities that you offered us at the end, of what happened between Albus and Gellert after that meeting; it's so interesting to think that in a different world what did not happen here may have happened, and to let us decide what decision we think Albus made. It ties in with the whole dreamlike nature of the first section, too.

The idea of paradise is kind of interesting when you link it to Gellert's religion, as well. I don't think I'd ever thought of Gellert as religious, maybe because it's a topic that's largely avoided in the books and not touched on much in fic either, but it makes sense for his character that he does have some of those beliefs. I don't think he subscribes entirely to one church doctrine as people were expected to do at this time, but the idea of him having faith in something more powerful is really intriguing.

I also saw a lot more compassion in Gellert here than I expected, actually - he seems to genuinely care about the people that are losing their lives fighting in the war, and the fact that the wizards and witches are meeting in decadence to discuss it frustrates him. It's intriguing, too, that he lost half-brothers; that would make the conflict a lot more personal to him, even if he did not get on with them, and he does genuinely seem to believe in his speeches about unity. I know that it's all building up and laying foundations for the future that he wants to command, but it's interesting all the same.

I love all of the political theory in here, too, and the way that Gellert muses on governance and power! It fits in so well with his desires to rule that he would study all of the different theories, and it's so interesting to read. I've always found myself wondering what the wizards would have done during Muggle conflicts. I think I read somewhere that during WW1, wizards were banned from signing up to fight in Britain, but I don't think they could have avoided involvement completely when so many people were affected, even if their boundaries and policies were different.

The image of Albus and Gellert as two Cassandras was lovely, too! It always makes me smile when I see one of them aligning themselves with the other, as if they're the only person they truly consider equal. It's just a reminder of the way they feel.

Sian :)
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Review #2, by BellaLestrange87 

26th July 2015:
Laura! It's been so long since I left a review for this story - way too long. (And I'm so happy you're doing Camp because it means I have lots of beautiful writing to read!)

Also, this entire review will probably consist of me quoting your prose back at you talking about how beautiful it is.

Like this - I do not believe in paradise, in perfection of nature realised, beauty and serenity twined together so that you feel nothing can go wrong there, nothing bad can exist there; it is all left outside the edges, abandoned at the border, snarling and growling and waiting for your return. - THAT IS GORGEOUS. How do you come up with sentences like this?? How? Teach me your ways, please.

One thing about this - There is a time and place for such things, for displays of wealth and power, reminders of to whom you bow, but not in a crisis, not while people choke on ash and pray that the next bullet will not (or perhaps would; the trick to wars is not to survive, but to survive the aftermath. Death’s last call to those he could not collect) hit them. - the bit in the parentheses feels a bit odd there; maybe move it to the end of the sentence, after "them". I'm reading this out loud (best way to appreciate it *nods*) and it felt weird. It's still a gorgeous sentence, though (and true, from my history-nerd reading.)

that we should potter about drawing rooms and orangeries - that we should putter?

This line was very intriguing - Two of my half-brothers were to die in the war, sabres and muskets in hand, Austrian blue on their backs and the roar of a nation in their throats. Grindelwald has muggle ancestry? I find it interesting that he's talking about dominating muggles for the greater good when he's a half-blood himself. Right now he's reminding me both of Snape, Voldemort, and Hitler.

This is also gorgeous - I stood, soon enough, and I spoke, and I watched their thoughts and their feelings flitter across their faces, one by one – some half-hidden, some completely bare, and a very few curtained entirely. The spear hovered in my hand, vibrating, cold and hungry, and when it flew, the air shivered around it; a ripple, almost visible, passed out from where it hit, spreading across the room, enveloping each person as it went, shards of it, thin and poisonous in nature, piercing their skin and sinking down.

I really enjoyed reading the conversation between Albus and Gellert. It had the right amount of awkwardness (as there would be between two people who had spent years desiring each other with a bad past) and familiarity. I'm wondering right now if Albus withdrew himself from all political activity after Gellert?

Okay, this bit is perfect - Silence, then, and a silence too strong on both of our shoulders, a storm-cloud full of the things we had not said, the things we had never said and should have, and the things we would take back, if given the chance. So many words there, unheard and unspoken – incomplete halves of a conversation, as ungainly even in thought as a pas-de-deux danced by one. Perfect.

I found a few typos:

that we should potter about drawing rooms and orangeries - that we should putter?

ah, but sense it often lost on those who are most in need of it, no? - but sense is often lost

*runs off to read more of your work*


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