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22 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

16th April 2017:
CTF Jailbreak Review

Hi Renee! It's been so long since I got to read any of your writing, so it's lovely to have an excuse to come back now! And this was such a lovely and wonderful start to the story! I already love the premise of this story - I have read some one-shots which focus on the relationship between Lily and Petunia, but I don't think I've ever read anything that's longer than that - now I'm wondering why because this seems like the perfect way to explore their relationship as sisters through the years.

I loved that you started this story on the day that Lily was born, but the narrative focus was on Petunia so I actually really warmed up to her as a character here. You wrote her so well - I could easily picture the little girl outside, waiting to know what's happening because she's still at the age when she doesn't entirely understand what is going on. Your description of her as she was waiting was so cute and lovely.

It's pretty unusual that their dad was gone and there while Lily was born, I think, at this point in time. It helps to build up the potential for jealousy more though.

The description of her stomach wriggling as Petunia met Lily for the first time was great - but I loved how quickly it turned sour when she got jealous of Lily being called her nickname. It seems natural enough for the older sibling to get upset and jealous at this point because the attention they receive moves onto someone else, but it also felt more serious than that, especially since we know how bad the relationship between the sisters becomes.

Sian :)

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Review #2, by crimson quill 

16th April 2017:
Capture the Flag

So Petunia is a character that I have a soft spot for because I want to feel that's she misunderstood I guess.

I thought this was such a cute scene to the honest. I think you write little petunia so well, I think the line about talking not being allowed but it was noisy. it's really interesting the little moments that kids really pick up on and you've really captured that childish essence in petunia's character here. It's very natural for first child to be confused by a new arrival especially as we know what a complicated relationship they will have in the future. the groundwork for the rest of the story is really strong. this chapter just works so well as a taster of what's coming up in the story.

I think the moment that is rather heartbreaking thought for a child but probably quite realistic is 'Mummy loved Petunia again'. I guess children see things very black/white like that or maybe it's more a characteristic of petunia as a person. which ever it is, that line is pretty powerful I think. this chapter feels like fluff but the build up of petunia's feelings at the end changes the tone. I'm rather interested to see what your visions are for this story! xo

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Review #3, by TreacleTart 

27th August 2016:
Hey Renee!

Here to drop off a few more gifts from the gift tag. Now that works slowing down a bit, I can finally get caught up on all the things I'd rather be doing, like reviewing your lovely stories! BTW, how have I not read this story already?

I loved that the first chapter was about Petunia's reaction to Lily's birth. Writing a very young child can be so tough, but I thought you did a fantastic job of making her thoughts sound like those of a little girl. You had just the right amount of jealousy, insecurity, wonder, and love.

I thought that Petunia's reaction to Lily was very telling of things to come. She loves her and at the saqme time, there's something deep down inside of her that resents Lily taking away the attention. Of course, here it's just a fleeting moment of jealousy, but it sets a precedent for the future.

I also really liked the length of this chapter. You kept it short and to the point, but I thought that actually really went with how a child might experience things. In short bursts instead of long overly descriptive paragraphs.

Anyway, if the first chapter is anything to go by, this story looks really promising! I'm off to read chapter 2 right now!

~Kaitlin

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Review #4, by Neville Longbottom 

22nd August 2016:
Renee!

Neville Longbottom here, leaving you some reviews for the pass it along challenge! So sorry that it took me so long to get here - someone put a Fanged Geranium next to a Devilís Snare and, wellÖ Iím sure you can imagine why those two shouldnít be near each otherÖ

Anyway, Iím here now and Iím SO glad that I got you for this challenge! Iíve had my eye on this story for a while, so Iím excited to finally read it!

Adorable. Really. This first chapter is simply adorable.

Petunia is so in character here. You really can see why she turned out the way she did. Sheís still very sweet and innocent, but itís clear that those feelings of jealousy towards Lily arenít going to go away anytime soon, and that really impacts her personality as she grows.

The way you write children is so spot onÖ Iíve read another story of yours that is from a childís POV (and thereís a hint to my real identity), and itís amazing. Not many people can write a childís mind so well, and now youíve done it twice! Amazing!

Iíd go on, but Iíd just keep gushing about this chapter and I want to read the next chapter instead!

Amazing job, Renee!

Neville Longbottom

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Review #5, by Dinthemidwest 

29th May 2016:
This was a wonderful 1st chapter-Petunia as a small child!! Got to move on to chapter 2...

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Review #6, by alicia and anne 

23rd May 2016:
I wish that I could find a comfortable position on my chair... I am feeling your pain Petunia! I can relate.

Awww is she waiting for Lily to be born? Oh my god this is going to be adorable!

Aw this is so cute! Tiny Petunia is so sweet, holding Lily and kissing her hand and being a proud big sister already.

Oh no! It's changing and poor Petunia is feeling left out :( And now I feel so bad for Petunia. I wish that she could have understood, but she probably hated Lily from that moment.

So cute and bittersweet at the same time. You've done a brilliant job at writing this in such a small amount of words. :D

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Review #7, by victoria_anne 

16th April 2016:
Hello lovely!

So you're busy and swamped with homework, leaving a little review for you is the least I can do ♥

(Also it is woefully past time I check out this story)

OMG RENEE

This is the sweetest moment ever! The way Petunia feels is something all older siblings can relate to! It's just so sweet to see Petunia and Lily as these tiny children. And "my little flowers" is just perfect!

See you at the next chapter!

♥ B

Author's Response: ♥ B ♥

Thank you so much for reviewing this when i was having such a stressful time. I know I really appreciated it, even though my reply is verrry late. You're the best!

xoxo Renee


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Review #8, by Dojh167 

11th March 2016:
Hello!

I've wanted to read this story for ages, and I really don't know why I've only just gotten to it. I think Petunia is a really interesting character to write about, and I love that you chose to take a deeper look into her relationship with Lily.

Also, I am glad that you keep the chapter sizes small and manageable - I'd probably still be putting off reading this otherwise!

I think you do a great job of writing little Petunia. Realistically writing children can be a challenge, but I find her very believable here.

You capture Petunia's mix of feelings really well in this chapter. Even though you don't directly say what Petunia thinks in this line, it says a ton: "He was holding something, looking at it like he didnít remember anything else. Baby." And then the subtleties about Lily's name sounding slippery in her mouth, and the her reaction when she holds her... And the final two lines! Ugh, it's all so good!

I love love love this.

On to chapter two!

Sam.

Author's Response: Hi Sam!

It is SO nice that you wanted to read this. Thank you!

I don't think I could write in a voice this 'young' for much longer than this chapter, honestly. I'm glad you approve of the short chapter length.

Yay! I'm so glad you like it! Thank you so much for the wonderful review! *hug*

xoxo Renee


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Review #9, by Felpata Lupin 

3rd March 2016:
RENEE!!!
How did I wait so long to get here???
This is so beautiful! Just adorable! Baby Tuney is the most adorable thing I've ever read!!!
Oh, the sweetness, the family love! This is so wonderful! And your beautiful writing just makes it shine so brightly! You. Are. Awesome!
I must confess, it saddened me a tiny bit Petunia's moment of jealousy. But then, again, I suppose it's normal for older siblings. And sadly, we know how our relationship will end... Great foreshadow, by the way.
Aside from that, this chapter just warmed my heart! I will totally come back for more! :)
Good luck for February SOTM and the biggest snowball hug!
Chiara

Author's Response: Chiara! *all the hugs*
Thank you so much for this review! I didn't expect it at all and it was such a lovely surprise to find waiting for me. I was totally shocked to be nominated for SOTM, to be honest. I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter; thank you for your kind words.

xoxo Renee


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Review #10, by Gabriella Hunter 

15th October 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums stopping by and leaving your review for our swap! Thanks so much for agreeing to it! I always ask for swaps because I love reading new material. :D

This was a completely unique way to start a story and I don't think I've ever seen anyone write Petunia so young. We hardly ever see her much on the archives but I like what you've established here, she's so young but you write her so well. I don't think I've ever written a child like this before so I thought that this was very unique. It's always great to read stories about Petunia and Lily too, you never get the sense that Lily hated her older sister but you always hope that things changed between them after they drifted apart. Of course, we don't have to worry about that here but Petunia seems like such dear and it's great seeing how much she loved Lily on first sight. The only thing that broke that spell was her fear that her parents wouldn't love her anymore and maybe I'm just reaching a little but that is some clever foreshadowing. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!

Well, this reply is a bit late, but thank you so much for the swap! I loved your story. (I actually ended up reading your entire Angelina novel that night!) And thank you so much for your review!

You definitely are not reaching - that foreshadowing was very deliberate! I am trying to uncover a more positive relationship under all the trouble we know is coming, but I also need to eventually split to be believable.

Thanks again for your review! It put a huge smile on my face and I'd love to swap again :)
xoxo Renee


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Review #11, by MrsJaydeMalfoy 

14th October 2015:
Hello there lovely! It's about time I got around to reading some of your work! *hugs*

I've got to say, I have never, never read a fic that explores Lily and Petunia's relationship like this, so I'm already excited to see how this turns out! And I've also never read a chapter showing Petunia's reaction to Lily's birth, either, so HUGE kudos for you there on originality!

I really liked how you created this little feeling of competition between them (or at least, from Petunia's side), right from the beginning. It's natural for older siblings to feel a little under-appreciated when new babies come along, so that was a very realistic depiction, and, the way you've portrayed things here, it seems as though that will just be the catalyst for what gets everything else going in the story. It's got me really excited to see what's next!

I really liked your description here also - my favorite was of Petunia swinging her legs - that's so typical for a child her age!

Anyway, this was a fantastic first chapter, and I'm off to read the next! Well done dear!

Author's Response: Hola amiga!

I'm sorry I waited so long to respond to your reviews... I may have rather enjoyed seeing all FIVE of them on my homepage all bold and making me feel popular :P

I'm glad you think this is original. I know everyone hates Petunia, and I kind of hate her, too, but I also think it would have been really hard to be this normal kid and then your little sister outshines you in ever way - Lily got the looks, the brain, the personality, and then magic on top of it! Trying to understand her has been really interesting.

Thank you for such a lovely review, dear! On to your next review :D


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Review #12, by Jayna 

4th October 2015:
Hi! I'm here with your review for the childhood challenge. As this is a multi-chaptered fic, I will be reading and reviewing each chapter, but they will probably not be quite as in-depth.

First off, I really enjoyed this chapter. I liked seeing Petunia as a very young girl and it was great how Petunia was actually thinking and acting like a toddler. The whole chapter was very believable and it was great how you managed to make Lily's birth start out happy, but in the end have an underlying current of jealousy and what's going to happen. I think that my favorite part of this chapter was when Petunia thought her mother was going to hug her because I think it's when Petunia first realizes that she isn't an only child anymore and that things are about to change.

I don't really have any suggestions, but overall this was a great first chapter and I'm excited to see what happens next.

-Jayna

Author's Response: Hi Jayna! Thanks for leaving all these lovely reviews - I was so excited when I saw them!

It's interesting how people respond to this chapter, which is a very strange one in many ways. Petunia is SO young here, and certainly can't be held accountable for her thoughts or actions, but I thought it was important to start of from the VERY beginning.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it and thank you for the very kind review!


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Review #13, by carry on with your knitting 

20th September 2015:
Hello! :)

Thank you for reviewing my one shot! :)
So I'm here to review you're story for you :)

I really enjoyed this! Stripping the relationship back between Lily and Patunina is a really interesting idea, because you can explore all the elements that led to the break down of their relationship :) I like that you started with Lily's birth because in all honesty this is probably what started everything off, like the snowball effect.
when my little sister was born, my parents said I was very jealous :') which is understandable because you go from having all the attention to having to share it. and understandable the baby will probably get the most attention...
I really liked that you included Patunia being really interested at the start in her little sisiter, but then the jealously developing throughout, especially when she thinks her mum was talking to her, but it was her sister, that bit broke my heart a little bit. :')

The way you've written it is an interesting one, it's almost like you've written it from another point of view that is neither Lily nor Patunia, but is still a child, as they have a childish view on things. I really liked that a lot! I wander if the narrator will mature with the girls?

Overall I thought this was a great read and I'm impressed that you managed to communicated so much in a small piece of writing!
I'm definitely going to come back to read some more :)

Love and hugs
Katie :)

Author's Response: Hi Katie!

I was so happy to see your review this morning, and then even happier when I read it! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story! And, I am especially glad you thought the point of view was effective. It was difficult to write a child this young and make it both believable and helpful. I mean, Petunia can't even really speak yet! :P

Thank you so much for this lovely review :hug: I would love to see you in future chapters - you're welcome back any time!

xoxo Renee


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Review #14, by manno_malfoy 

10th September 2015:
Hello! So you had said on the forums earlier that you're proud of a story in this collection. And when I saw that it's about Lily and Petunia, I decided that I HAVE to read it. I'm just really interested in pre-Hogwarts Lily.

I did enjoy this small introduction to the story. The title of the chapter and the idea itself is very smart. It's always a shock for the first child when they're no longer the centre of attention, and it does take a while to process. I liked the Petunia was both, happy that Lily's here but also slightly confused now that she isn't 'the only flower'. So it's all realistic! But I do hope we get to see them being friends and that this slight natural jealousy wears off as it's replaced by companionship.

The over all mood of this chapter, small as it is, is perfect! There's warmth and joy but also a hint of exhaustion that you've managed to channel.

I think that this was such a solid start and I'm heading over to the next chapter right now to see where it all goes!

-Manno

Author's Response: Hi Manno!

I've been putting off responding to your reviews because they were such a wonderful surprise and I kind of liked seeing them in my "Unanswered Reviews" but I suppose I shouldn't keep you waiting anymore.

It was so, so kind of you to read this story, let alone leave such nice reviews! :hug:

I am really pleased that you liked this little opening chapter! I felt weird writing it since Petunia can't even talk yet - thank you for saying it was a smart idea! :D

I love how you sum up this chapter as "warmth, joy, and a hint of exhaustion" because that is exactly what I was going for. So yay!

Thank you again!
Renee


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Review #15, by Penelope Inkwell 

13th August 2015:
Hey hey hey! Just ran over to get a little background so that I could be more helpful with beta*ing your next chapter.

So, the description in this chapter is good. Really good. I really felt quite sucked in and able to imagine it. I'm especially impressed with the ambiance you create in the first few sentences. This is such a short piece--very few words--but the description packs a nice punch.


CC:

One thing that I noted-- 1. If Petunia was so close to the birthing area that she could hear the screams of pain, it seems she'd have been quite frightened, She must have been very young. It strikes me as a bit odd that no one was sitting with her, so you might want to explain something about that. Were there complications? Was her father with her but had to run in? Was her grandmother with her but had gone to the restroom and left her with her coloring book?

I really like the way you've set up her initial acceptance of Lily, but then introduce a tone of foreboding, especially since it has to do with jealousy, which was ultimately Petunia's biggest flaw. However, since in your story shell you describe Petunia and Lily as best friends who fall apart, I'd advise softening this a bit. Maybe have her object to only one thing here, either her father's extension of "my flower" to Lily, or her mother's focus on the baby. I like the flower bit best. It's innocuous and understandable, but it sets the tone for later problems. Maybe then their mother could invite Petunia to sit with her and the baby, and cuddles them both, and things are right again. For now.

Just a suggestion!

ďWhoís Daddyís little flower,Ē he was saying, his voice a song.
--this piece of dialogue should have a question mark after it. "Who's Daddy's little flower?" he was saying, his voice a song.

I like what you're doing with this so far!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hi Penny!
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave reviews - especially when you were already helping me out!

I struggled with that same problem about Petunia waiting so close by, but I couldn't come up with a solution that didn't involve a bunch of boring exposition to explain it. Your suggestions will definitely be helpful if/when I go back and edit this!

I can't believe I missed that question mark. Le sigh.

Thanks again for your review. You are too kind!!
~Renee


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Review #16, by Ron 4 Hermione 

12th August 2015:
Hey there, decided that since I read them I may as well leave a review! :)

This is such a cute start, I especially love the way you write how Petunia sees things, especially her parents. Children do tend to idolise/see their parents as perfect, especially if they were treated well and I think that comes across beautifully in this.

I love how you have the jealousy coming through as well, I think just over all you write Petunia really realistic and it's definitely something I can see her doing.

This also makes me sad though, because Petunia already has this jealous streak and since we know that her reaction to Lily being a witch isn't positive, it makes me sad that moments like this don't last and it ends the way it does! :'(

Anyhow, I love the story though, and I don't think I've read a story about the sibling relationship between them when they were young so great idea, and you've written it amazingly too!

- Shaza :)

Author's Response: Hi Shaza!

It was so lovely of you to leave these reviews! Thank you!!!

I'm glad you thought Petunia seemed realistic. And thank you very very much for the kind things you said!! You're the best!

~Renee


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Review #17, by Aphoride 

10th August 2015:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :) I hope it's okay I chose this one - but I've always been fascinated by Petunia and Lily's relationship (it's not nearly written about enough, imo), so I just had to stop by on it :)

I love the way you've started this right at the beginning - with Lily being born and Petunia becoming a sister, and meeting her sister for the first time. It's such a sweet - well, bittersweet almost at the end - moment to choose, and it's done so well, with the writing scaled down to read simply, to match with Petunia's age and the mentions of period details. (Though one slight error: nurses and midwives of the 1960s didn't wear pillboxes, they wore lace caps ;))

The way you've written Petunia is just so believable, and it's so impressive considering that she's a difficult character at best, not to mention writing children is so so hard, so the fact that you've done both is really incredible. I love how you've got the moment at the end where Petunia - like all older siblings get at times, especially when they're young! - has that moment of jealousy for Lily, because she's daddy's flower and mummy's love, not the baby, and then she's assuaged swiftly, and forgets about it. It's a really, really lovely piece of foreshadowing for what happens in their later lives - and I love it! :)

Your writing in this was so good, too. Like I said, children are so hard to write because writing simply and writing well are so difficult to marry together - but you do it so well here I'm almost jealous :P There's this really lovely clean and clear quality about your writing, and so honest, too - the emotions Petunia's feeling come through so beautifully, and it really heightens everything in this, really making it come alive, you know? It's so gorgeous! :)

Thank you so much for the swap - this was a really lovely read! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aph!

Thank you so so much for your lovely review! I agree that their relationship is very interesting and doesn't get enough attention. I'm not complaining though - a little less competition for this story is okay with me ;)

I really enjoy writing children, so I am always really happy when reviewers compliment that. Thank you very much!!

I swear I tried to look that up about pillbox caps. Darn! Thanks for letting me know, though.

Really, thank you so much for this lovely and kind review!!
:hug: Renee


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Review #18, by pointless_proclamations 

29th July 2015:
Hiya again!

This was such a sweet chapter! I felt so much empathy for Petunia. Her shying away and not feeling loved and her being almost perfectly innocent was much too sweet. I wanted to hug her! I felt so sorry for her. And to think that this feeling of hers will only grow from here on out will absolutely crush me. Bah! I really liked it! :D

Your descriptions were amazing! I particularly liked the phrase 'white pillbox hat.' Also, your dialogue was spectacular. I don't know how you do it!

Cheers,
Em

Author's Response: Hi Em,

Thank you so much for yet another lovely review! You have a knack for making my day. :)

The whole collection won't be in Petunia's POV but I definitely intend to share her side of the story. It's so sad to know how things change by the end.

Thank you SO MUCH for you generous compliments about dialogue and descriptions, and just in general for your kind review.
:heart:
~Renee


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Review #19, by bittersweetflames 

21st July 2015:
Hiya, Renee. :D

Carla here for our swap and I am sorry it's very nearly a day late. :O Anyway, let's move on from the fact that I've been so late and allow me to comment on this chapter.
I've not really read a lot of fics that feature Petunia and, more specifically, Petunia before she hate Lily and you paint such a picture of that time here. I think you managed to really make Petunia's feelings, as the older sister, of being left out and unloved really come through. See, I'm the youngest but I have two older brothers and they were a little rough towards me at times because I was the baby of the family and they resented that. So, okay, you managed to make me see how that felt even though I could not directly relate to it.
So, yeah, I really enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait to see what happens next... :D

--Carla

Author's Response: Hi Carla!
This is a strange little chapter, really, but I had a lot of fun writing it. I'm so glad you enjoyed it :D
I'm actually the baby in my family too - including all of my cousins - so I know what you mean about that! haha

Thanks so much for your review, dear!
Renee


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Review #20, by May 

20th July 2015:
I like this story a lot looking forward to the next chapter

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know.

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Review #21, by wolfgirl17 

20th July 2015:
Hey Renee,

Wolfgirl here for our review swap.

This was a really interesting little chapter. I loved the way you captured the feeling of being forgotten and a little unloved when a new baby comes into the family. Elder children who are old enough to understand when they're spoken to and how much attention their getting tend to get lost in the feeling of being replaced, though they often don't realise that at the time.

The foreshadowing for the rift to come between Lily and Petunia in this was also really well-laid out, beginning at birth Petunia has feelings of inadequacy as a result of Lily being in her life.

Overall this was well written and really intriguing to read. I definitely enjoyed it and I look forward to reading more. Thanks so much for contributing it to the archives for us readers to enjoy =)

xx-Ellie

Author's Response: Hi again, Ellie! Thanks for another lovely review! (I know you actually wrote this one first, but you know what I mean.) You seem to have really understood the story the way I hoped readers would, so THANK YOU for that. It is wonderful to know that you would like to read more.
Thanks again! You're a peach!
Renee


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Review #22, by gloriousbooks 

4th July 2015:
I really liked this! I love the emotions coming from Petunia. I can really feel what she is feeling through your writing style, letting me really connect with the events and her character.

I also applaud you for your originality with this. Not many people write about Petunia (or not that I've seen,) and I really like that you used her character (and executed it almost flawlessly.) Good job! I'm looking forwards to reading more!

Bravo! :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! It was the nicest thing to discover this morning!
Unless the queue gets crazy, I should have the next one up within a week or two :)


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