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33 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SilverMoonFairy 

9th August 2016:
I'm curious- when they say D.A.D.A., am I supposed to assume they're talking in acronyms?

Poor Barry. He really needs a vacation. Poor thing. He can take Janey with him.

I don't have much on this chapter- I'm taking in the change and the angst whilst writing my own angst at the same time. It's very draining!


Author's Response: I imagine they're saying "DA-DA"; I'm not actually sure what's the correct way to notate that!

Haha, the emotional journey of this story is a rollercoaster. I'd apologize in advance if it didn't spoil everything!

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Review #2, by QkStephen 

1st November 2015:
I honestly don't think I will ever find the wandwork that promises as much magic as your mind and a keyboard. I really have missed your writing oh so terribly.

Author's Response: Wahh, thank you so much! That's such a massive compliment c:

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Review #3, by Dish 

25th October 2015:
So, I just found this and have been addicted for the last few days to it! You have an incredible talent, the writing is perfect and the characters are even better! I love how real they seem, the flaws, the lack of typical yet still giving you that guilty pleasure feel everyone loves in fanfiction. It's addictive and please keep updating!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm chugging along on the next chapter; slow but getting there!

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Review #4, by Slytherdor_ 

5th October 2015:
LOVE IT!! Are you still writing this story? It's not abandoned right??? I'd probably cry if it was tbh. You've done so well, I love absolutely everything about it! The character development, heated scenes, funny scenes, dialogue, monologue, literally EVERYTHING. it's my fave story and I ned an update!!!
Keep up the amazing work!!!

Author's Response: I am! It's just a very VERY long chapter. Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #5, by Bri 

23rd September 2015:
I NEED MORE! So far, everything is amazing! I love the story!! When are you going to update?

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm about 7k into the next chapter right now.

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Review #6, by Elizajane 

17th September 2015:
I'M SO HAPPY YOU UPDATED! I reread the whole story before I read this chapter, and I loved it even more the second time through.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you reread it too; it's such a different story now since 2011 *_*

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Review #7, by Penelope Inkwell 

27th July 2015:
You're back you're back you're back!

Look, I'm just gonna poke you a little with this pitchfork. I won't even draw blood. Those excuses are pretty good ones.

Man, that first part of the chapter. Whew! Is it just me, or is it a little steamy in here *tugs collar*.

Nice to see Clement and Albus are back together. I mean, we saw it in the last chapter, but now it really hits. And they seem to have a better understanding of one another now. Growth!

Can I just say how much I love Clemence? I love that she's a Slytherin. I love that she is selfish and harsh and critical and she knows it. I also love that her crazy cult isn't totally wrong about her having a heart. And I adore how much she hates the cliche of it all. She enjoys having a reputation as a bit of a b***, and is sad to let it go. But there were also times that she disliked everyone thinking so poorly of her. She is such a complex character, and I think she's very realistic. Definitely no cookie cutter, and more of an antiheroine than anything. She's a very different sort of MC, and an absolute inspiration for me, as a writer, because reading your portrayal of Clemence makes me want to tackle writing difficult characters myself.

I also like Albus a lot. He's not clean cut either, and he's certainly done some stupid things, and he's a hilarious mix of idealistic and a little evil. Which maybe can give us hope that he and Clemence (who is a little more evil, with a dash of idealism thrown in there, which she seems to have half a mind to dig out of the mix grain by grain) can balance each other out.

And Dom! I'm not even going to have room in this review! I love them all! Well, no...I love to hate Appy. But that's it's own sort of love, all the same.

All of the little quips and the sarcasm and the ridiculous bits about the students of Hogwarts in this fic give me such joy.

Barry the beleaguered barnyard owl was a nice touch. Poor thing.

I have to say, a bit of me enjoys the irony of Clement's being mobbed by the gossip columns. You can't really call it unfair. But I love how she was always too smart for that kind of crappy journalism; she was just clever enough to know how to use it. I like that she's encouraging Janey to be a better journalist, and I'm interested to see what direction Clement herself will go. Will all the madness of this whole debacle--From Rose vs. Dom to Her vs. Appy to the mutterings about her relationship with Albus--change the way Clement writes? Or not? Whatever she does, I'm sure it will be with her own particular flair, and I look forward to finding out.

The fairy tale theme for this chapter was an interesting take. I liked it. It shows off Clement's wry sense of humor, and how she's never really fit the archetype of what a heroine "should" be. And Appy, who was everything a romantic lead ought to be stuffed with, made you want to hit her until quirkiness and glitter burst out like a pinata. It works as a nice highlight for some of the overall ideas of the story, like archetypes don't really exist in real life, and there are shades of grey in everyone (at least, I think those seem to be themes. That's what I was picking up). It's an un-fairytale. Poor Clement. Always unfair that the wicked witch has to melt a little, huh?

Well, I still think she can have grown and learn and got to the point where she can even be (occasionally, a little bit) kind and not lose any of her snap. I believe in Clemence!

Well, not in a "member of her cult" way. I'm not quite that far gone ;)

Speaking of which, Highlight Reel:

-"Did you see Sandra?"

-"Yeah, with the Church of Clemence." I untie the cord from Barry's feet. He droops over the sack, regretful of his career choice. Two girls come up to ask me to sign their toast; I ignore them.

-"Church, pshaw. Call it what it isóa cult. Have they built you a statue yet?"

-"No idolatry,

-"You're a witch, b***"

That was one of my favorite bits from this chapter.

So, yes. Still loving it! Still one of my absolute favorites. You create such well-written, entertaining stories and interesting characters. I always enjoy them, but this one holds a special place in my heart.

Hope this review was a decent one. I think it's lucky number 1,000 for this story! CONGRATULATIONS! *throws glitter* *shoves Appy out of the glitter. She's trying to bathe in it. Sparkling like a disco ball brings out your distinctive eye color, which is the first thing that will stun your leading man speechless. What can I say? It's quirky.*

Thanks for the story, and for sharing it with us!


Author's Response: I've been keeping your reviews around to guilt me to writing :P But a month seemed long enough so I'm finally responding! Just keep poking me with the pitchfork.

IT MAKES ME SO GLAD THAT YOU WANT TO WRITE ANTIHEROINES. I think I'm really good at one kind of antiheroine and we sooo need more of them.

I spend so much of my time inhabiting my characters and thinking like them (and in the shower, muttering under my breath in a British accent like them) to get them right. From my standpoint while writing, I don't see clearcut qualities about my characters as much as "I feel like they'd just do this" and often it's hypocritical on paper. Clemence will scoff at other gossip publications because it's trash, while priding herself on building a gossip empire because she likes fame (but only good fame and just enough of it!), while deriding boring journalism because most of it also terrible, while encouraging Janey to go into journalism because she has talent. The nuances of how she likes and hate fame and likes and hate writing gossip--that held me up for so long because I didn't know how to explain it. 'cause I get reviewers who say, Clemence loves fame, she loves gossip; and others who say, oh she just wants to do real journalism. And I get confused because they all seem correct, and I have to go into my Clemence mindspace to figure out why it's all true.

I love fairy tales; can't resist them :D And this chapter has one of my fav foreshadowing tropes: if there's supposedly a happily ever after this chapter and it's not the end of the story, it is not the happily ever after yet ;) I really like what GubraithianFire said in her review about how Clemence insists on seeing herself as a wicked witch. Ever since the beginning, Clemence has told the story and gladly made herself the villain, because she can't bear the responsibility of being the heroine. Even now, at the end of the story, she's holding onto that.

Fangirls, religion, and politics are all the same, really :D

THANK YOU FOR BEING #1000. I really hoped I'd get the next chapter out before then bahaha, and I was scared some random one-liner asking me to update would be #1000 BUT IM GLAD IT'S YOU AND THANK YOU FOR TAKING CARE OF APPY AS WELL. String her up, twirl her around, and let's have a dance party ~ * ~ * ~ *

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Review #8, by Shinicha 

27th July 2015:
Hey! I just read all the so-far existing chapters in one go, and I feel terribly sorry that I didn't stop after each to leave a review. It was simply too addicting!!!

In general I'm amazed with your writing style. It manages to lose itself in details while still flowing nicely, weaves dialogues and internal monologues and action into one seamless, wonderful motion picture.

Of course it's also hilarious, and the absurdity of the events brought me to tears (from laughter) several times: food fights in the great hall??? A rampage in padfifoots??? Even more amazing is the fact that you manage to deliver it with elegant seriousness and angstyness without it ever loosing the humour.

The other thing is your characters; they are really alive and real!! None of them seems shallow, everyone has their mysterious side (even, or especially Appy! She's just crepyy.) I especially love Clemence as the main cast and how we slowly, slowly see her change over the chapters. Not one thing seemed ever 'out of character', i really feel that you are in everybody's head - even the quirkers ones haha.

But since all of the characters are somewhat ambiguous, the mystery of WHO 'the enemy' is becomes almost unbearable!
At first, with the Lipstick on the paper, of course I thought of Appy herself.

And then I can never shake this feeling of "what if it's Dom???" She could've shattered the teapots on V-Day! Also, Rose is still in my mind, although she seemed quite amiable when she wanted thr letter to be published... Endless possibilities! What if it's innocent and nice Janey who just wants the gossip to end and start a serious school paper?

On another note: i also really loved how you created new places in the castle that fit into Hogwarts smoothly. The speak easy, the newsroom,...

And overall the way the romance evolved was just perfect. The moments of passion, in the hallway or at the lake were so well built up and intense, i started drooling and actually got goosebumps! Still, Albus is maybe the character i understand the last. His actions seem a bit random all over the story. But that's maybe just him: making spontaneous decisions, actually not very cool at all, very emotional and caring.

So, sorry for this kinda unspecific and over-viewy review...in any case I'm so glad i read this and super-thankful that you wrote this!! I can't wait for the last chapter and the epilogue :) :)

Author's Response: I'm really happy with what etc's done with my writing style; writing this and Capers at the same time meant they got to feed into each other a lot. etc explored a lot of narrative styles that I'd use in Capers and my description and action in Capers lent itself here.

Also absurd yet serious (seriously absurd, har har) is my writing in a nutshell 8D WRITING FANGIRL MASSACRES WITH A STRAIGHT FACE.

You read it all in one go, so you remember that there IS SOMEONE OUT THERE STILL that we don't know about! 8D Who, indeed? I like your ideas! They're sneaky. I'm sneaky.

I'm glad you like what you've read so far. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'll try to get the next chapter up soon.

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Review #9, by Roisin 

11th June 2015:
IT'S UP?!?! Somehow I missed the clanging of pots and pans. YOU PROMISED TO MAKE NOISE.

Not that it matters--I've already had shouty convos with you about this chapter, but whatever, ~HOUSE CUP 2015 REVIEW GO GRYFFINDOR!~

I really love the changes to this chapter. The theme and idea develops really nicely, and the end is an absolute gut punch. And the writing throughout is just stellar. There's something sort of efficient about the writing which I appreciate. It doesn't get bogged down in strings of purple prose, but the fresh word choices and rather workmanly and sparing phrasing creates a beautiful over all effect. The pace, snark and wit totally propell the chapter.

Also, I notice the Rita's relationship with Clemence is more developed than in the draft (I think?) I'd never twigged before that Clemence was raised by her, granted, I haven't read the last chapters in like a year.

Anyway, this is just fantastic. I need to stop being a bad writing buddy and go shout at you about OF now. (DO EET)

Author's Response: IT IS!! I thought you saw it xD bangalangadingdong noise noise noise

I'm glad all the changes worked out c: You said alll the right things to make it mesh together. I still have your suggestion about prewriting the next chapter haunting me, but I knew I could never do it. I CAN NEVER WRITE ON TIME, ROISIN ;A; NEVER EVER.

I had a bit of Rita before, but her development was a little of an afterthought in this fic; something I'm definitely going to develop (more like, HAVE to develop) for OF. Amongst other things.

♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #10, by Anon 

7th June 2015:
Wow. That... was amazing.

I might've said this in my previous review, so bear with me. But I love your story to pieces. Characters, plot, writing, dialogue, everything.

You have realistic, complicated characters, like Dom and Clemence and Albus, and even side characters like Rose and Appy, that aren't typical one-adjective fanfiction characters (like the ones you ridiculed in Appy's story. Hah.)

You have a creative plot, one that I can definitely see getting published. The pacing is perfect, with the Albus/Clemence romance and with the Quirky girls and the "Teams". I never got bored or felt that it was dragging on.

Your writing was aces. (Especially that last parting line. "A prince in my hand, a kingdom usurped. I have everything I never wanted." Dang.) You also wrung in themes and got deep. Your dialogue was creative and hilarious at times while serious on others.

In short, this story is perfect. I can't even think about any flaws. Your'e completely awesome, you deserve all the reward you got, and I hope you keep writing :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much c: I got a lot more literary and am sort of testing how that's going. I'm very fond of recurring themes/motifs in this story, but I don't expect anyone to see any except me, xD -- I deeply appreciate that someone is actually! Pointing out! Literary! Things! Part of why it's been so hard to write lately is me trying to weave waaay too much into my writing, when I really should just get it done with 8D I told myself I'd try harder when I write the OF. Oh well!

♥! I hope you won't have to wait long for the end!

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Review #11, by heartjily4ever 

28th May 2015:
I cannot believe this is nearly done with - i love this story and your characters so much seriously I'm almost addicted to your writing (so much better than it sounds.) Despite the clear hatred ;) you must have for your characters for putting them through so much stress and angst, I don't want the angst to end if it means this story won't.

I'm so happy she actually said love - pretty sure thats an admission which is great for them and while I would usually describe them as now a cute couple ( disgustingly my new go to word seems to be cute, which I kinda hate) I really don't think cute will ever be the word to describe all of them, their complicated thing they have which is amazing to read about, must be a nightmare to write about and I love - but it's not cute. It's just something (don't know what) but its brilliant.

I kind of completely forgot about her relationship with Rita Skeeter - pretty sure it's been mentioned before and was a big plot thing at one point but it was ages ago that I read the first chapters so noway i'll still have that in my noggin. Seems like a rubbish aunt - not that I ever had high expectations of her as a family member, what with her track record.

Ill Behooved is the best start of a headline relating the centaurs ever seriously how do you think of this stuff.

It seems like Hogwarts is on some sort of detox from all the craziness of the teams, or on a come down which doesn't seem like it's going to bode well. Just have to hope that things don't get worse for Albus and Clemence.

I'll probably start drooling like a Quaker if I compliment you're writing anymore but oh well - it's genius amazing, hilarious and deep at the same time which is just double amazing. So excited to read more

Author's Response: Ahhh thank you so much c: Bahaha, I never knew until I started writing why anyone would put their characters through such toil. Now every other sentence--oops, they're miserable. Oops, they tripped. Oops, their dream's dead.

It's been interesting to see how people have interpreted this chapter! I like to read Clemence's voice rather sarcastically, but I also had a debate with the bf over Paramore's 'Ain't if Fun' which he doesn't think is sarcastic. Maybe I'm just a skeptic.

Rita's mentioned briefly every so often. I wish I brought up more of Clemence's family, and partly, how little family she has. But I get to expand on it next chapter!

I'M GLAD SOMEONE POINTED OUT ILL BEHOOVED. It's one my favorite headlines from all my stories. Stables on sacred centaur grounds, I didn't think I could get more offensive.

♥ thank you so much! sorry for the long wait for the next chapter, but I'm writing!

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Review #12, by noturavggurl 

19th May 2015:
So pleased to see an update! I love this story, especially the quality of writing, and the proper spelling (the characters aren't too bad either ;) ) Thank you for creating this clever, snarky, wonderful story. I heart Clemence & Albus!

Author's Response: Thank you! c:

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Review #13, by Addison Pickett 

8th May 2015:
Holy wowza. I missed you! I've been checking endlessly for updates, and now wow! You know, I kinda did want it to end happily like last chapter, but it just wouldn't feel right. I like this dark and twisted fairy tale you've set up. Actually, I don't... I LOVE IT.

Also, I may not have gotten my shirtless Pickett, but I got Al and Clem together in the bathroom and that is a completely reasonable exchange for my lovely Pickett. (I'm honestly joking about Pickett being shirtless, you don't need nor have to put it it. I just really love my Pickett.) That scene though... Mm... It was just the perfect transition from last chapter's ending to this chapter. Also it was hot. Very hot. Es muy caliente. #SpanishCompliments

I'm sorry. I just finished Spanish homework before I read this.

My favorite line has to be "Queen Dom's retired from queendom, and she's bored." I like the wordplay. Wordplay is one of my favorite things. That and Pickett... who is not mentioned that much in this chapter... I kid. This chapter is perfect just the way it is and you do not need to add anymore Pickett to it. You are an incredibly gifted writer and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Anyway, dearie... take your time in uploading. I'm just glad you did! It was worth the wait, however. I just love this series so much. Keep it up.

Love always,
Addie Pickett

Author's Response: HULLO AGAIN! Ahh I'm so glad you LOVE the darkness. That's what they're all about. Love can consume as easily as love can save, and I don't think either of them would deny that their relationship is unhealthy as much as they're rolling with it. They love the sex, they love the war, but how much - when you get down to the daily grind and domestics - do they really love each other?

If wordplay weren't my favorite thing, the world would be saved from some very bad puns.

I'm actually personally incredibly sad I didn't get to put Pickett into this chapter. Only because he shows up A LOT next chapter :D :D SO STAY TUNED? I'll try to put him in something nice for you, wink wink (pajamas may be the best I can do, if we're talking real talk).

♥ thank you so much! c:

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Review #14, by randomnickname 

5th May 2015:
Just reread to catch the nuances I missed in my avidity last time.

This time a sentence struck me in particular: "Here is my heart cracked open: an embrace of stone, windowless and grey, deaf to the world. Any truth can be rewritten in"
That's what I mean when I say you're an AWESOME author. Deep, bitter, great.
Ah, and what I forgot to say last time: Woe betide if we don't get any more of Henry - finish what you started, I don't want to die not knowing!

My kind regards, and eternal gratitude

Author's Response: Eee, one of my fav fav lines. I rewrote that one a few times before I settled on it. I'm glad you like it too ♥

LOTS of Henry next chap. Lots of Henry and Appy :D

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Review #15, by cathilde 

4th May 2015:
This is one of the very few fics I always remember where I'm at in. Clemence is genuinely one of my favourite characters ever, amongst all books I have read and series I have seen. I love the way you don't try to rush the plot, and there is a sense of morality and pensiveness in each chapter. I love the way you've represented Albus. I loved loved loved when tey read Appy's script. I think it's great that your characters are witty, entertaining and original but still manage to be relatable. Thank you so much for writing this fix and continuing to write t through the years basically.

Author's Response: ah thank you *U* comments like these make my agony all worth it. I try really hard to make this mean something for the people who read it, even though sometimes I think "it's just a fic." I'm forever grateful for how people have responded to it, and how that's encouraged me to explore much more than I planned with etc's initial scope. Thank you so much again! ^__^

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Review #16, by uxutwist 

2nd May 2015:
Won't lie, I was INCREDIBLY shocked when I say this updated! Had to remember what this story was about but hey, thanks for the update! Can't believe it's finishing though.

Author's Response: Thank you! It's been forever but I'm glad you came back to read *u*

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Review #17, by patronus_charm 

2nd May 2015:
Whoo new chapter ! :D

Ooh the first scene with Albus was interesting shall we say ;) It does make me wonder how their relationship will ever really function as Clemence is such a complicated character with the way sheís never truly sure of what she wants. It almost seems as if sheís quite insecure about the whole idea of being an in a relationship whereas Albus is much more up for it, so it will be interesting to see what the endgame is with these two.

One thing I noticed in the chapter was the increased use of italics and I thought it worked really well, like it added another layer to the chapter almost? I donít know, but I liked it!

Hahaha, Iíve forgotten how much I loved seeing all the girls in Hogwarts fight over which side they were on and who supported who. Itís just so funny to watch as they get so hysterical about everything, and you write all their emotions and reactions really well so itís just so funny to read! Hmm, Sandra is an interesting one to watch as I think sheís got no limits when it comes to this kind of stuff so it will be interesting to see what she gets up to in later chapters!

Whoo a sort of cameo from Rita! That letter was just so her and it was so funny to see the way she sees an opportunity in everything! I really wish we could meet her in the story as thatís bound to be hilarious, especially if she tries to gain publicity from the whole Clemence/Albus thing!

Ooh, wow, I didnít realise we were so close to the end but Iím excited to see how this winds up as this has been a really funny and excellent read, and donít worry about the gap in the updates life has that annoying tendency to take priority over fanfiction. :P ♥


Author's Response: KIANA! ♥

I was wondering about what kind of reaction I'd receive coming back with a scene like that ;) Wouldn't have been as in your face if I didn't have a year long hiatus before that, but that's on me. I'm like that ghost baroness, tittering behind a fan.

I think you're definitely right that Albus is much more up for the relationship than Clemence. And why not? He actively pursued her, while Clemence never really wanted this relationship; she more or less stumbles into it and doesn't care enough to try nor leave.


And the girls c: the fangirls are everything to me. Fangirl at heart forever.

♥ thank you so much for coming back and reading! ^__^ I'll try to make this next update soon.

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Review #18, by randomnickname 

1st May 2015:
My heart made a big leap in my chest as I did my weekly check. AWsm
i'd finally want to learn what's her relationship to her aunt, so I'm very looking forward to this. Sex scene HOT, thanks
And so interesting issues and characters! Hope you go pro one day, cause that's far better than a lot of novels I've read.
And: desperate to hear there's only so few left to go :( you know, those stories you never want to end? this one is one of those. Thanks again, go on!

Author's Response: c: Thank you! I'll get to expand on Clemence and Albus' respective families FINALLY next chapter. Just a little bit, but I think it'll whet the curiosity.

♥ you can always prod me for deets and ficlets on the blog, even after it ends!

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Review #19, by Irene 

24th April 2015:
I was going to say you should totally do this as an original story--so I'm SO glad you're deciding to do that! It's amazing, honestly. Really happy for you:)

Pertaining to the story: I just love Al Potter. 'Nuff said. :)

Can't wait for the next update! You're a great writer! xx

Author's Response: Very excited about it! Thank you c:

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Review #20, by my_voice_rising 

23rd April 2015:
Hiya! I wanted to leave an actual review instead of just a tumblr ask... I read this chapter on my break at work and it was all I had time for huehuehue.

This is seriously your best writing! You can really tell that you put a lot of thought into making every single word count, and move the plot along. A couple phrases that stuck with me are Here, with only each other to want, we kiss and kiss until it could fill a language. Here, we make sense, and I want fame; I'm fame's girlfriend. The way that Clemence has fallen for him is so wonderful too. You've done what everyone tries to do in fic--the accidental falling in love with your enemy--and done it so wonderfully!

I have to say that part of me thought/wanted (still wants?) the last scene to actually be Pickett and not Albus! Though I blame that on the Clickett tumblr graphics ;)

Seriously Gina, you should be so proud. This is really amazing writing. Can't wait for the next!

Author's Response: Eeee thank you! I agonized over SO. MANY. WORDS. this time, like I totally forgot how to write. One punctuation at a time *pats typing muscles*

"fallen for him" ;) DEPENDS.

And I will say cryptically for the readers reading reviews: BUT WHERE ARE ALL THOSE CLICKETT SCENES I SUPPOSEDLY WROTE? THE CLAPPY SCENES? Oh, this is just the lull before mobs. Pitchforks and ships will rain from the heavens. No umbrella will help you next chapter.


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Review #21, by JasmineTheNotMentionedPolishWeasley 

23rd April 2015:
Found this story only yesterday, and I really couldn't tear my eyes from the screen. Just brilliant! All of the characters, ideas, plot twists, Rita Skitter, the Witchy Business! I mean, it's just perfect, maybe a little bit too cynical at times, but I don't mind, being a devoted cynic and all (ok, so maybe I'm not a cynic like Clemence, but a girl can hope, right?) By the way, I'm in love with the story, can I marry it? Or better, can I marry Henry? I guess he wouldn't mind, as me and Dominique seem to be very much alike.
I hope that you'll find the time to work on and publish the next chapter asap, meanwhile, give poor Barny the Owl my wishes of best luck.
PS. I'm sorry for any mistakes I've made. English is not my first language, but I'm trying!
PS.2 +12 language for Mature Story reviews is just absurd.
PS.3 Listening to the Dead Language Band would be the most awesome thing ever, even if I'm not a pro in latin.

Author's Response: I wouldn't hope to be a cynic like Clemence (especially since hope is such a rare thing for a cynic), but I am who I am, and if that is terribly acerbic at times, well then. And everyone wants a piece of Henry now 8D he's wondering where this was during his six other years at Hogwarts. He's probably scarred after confronting Dom and causing a ruckus with Team Hen-NOs. No marriage for him for awhile, I think.

Thank you so much for reading! You have excellent English, by the way c:

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Review #22, by Kayla 

22nd April 2015:
I was SO HAPPY when I saw this update!! I would have danced with joy except I'm in math class... Your writing style is amazing and satirical and this story is basically everything I aspire to be as a writer. Thank you for the update 💗💗

Author's Response: Eee I'm glad! Thank you for reading! c:

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Review #23, by thegreatcatsby 

22nd April 2015:
/throws cape back with a flourish
/gets it stuck on a tree branch
/spends next 5 minutes untangling

This chapter! Though I may be reading way too much into it, I don't see good things for Clembus as they are right now, at least. They both have WAY too many issues (REALISTIC. I APPROVE.) and though there was romance(-ish), you were putting up so many red flags that I am glad that bulls do not read HPFF. Otherwise, they would have smashed the screen of my clunky laptop which was purchased with the last of my savings, a single poetic tear, and my soul.

"under his moonstruck gaze, I might pass for an angel." RED WORSHIPPY FLAG ALERT
"Here [alone, basically], we make sense." RED FLAG
"if the image of his goddess hasn't quite faded." RED VELVET CUPCAKES
"My name floods his breath; he drowns in it. I've seen enough to know how he fixates. I am just one in a long line of addictions, from firewhiskey to fixing the unfixable." RED FIRE HYDRANTS
"This is love. This is it. This is... it." RED TOMATOES
"He loves me like he's afraid to lose me, and he's more afraid of losing me than he hates me." LOBSTERS

tl;dr I had too many red velvet cupcakes today and am amped up with the stress of starting a story /blows into paper bag

and Hogwarts on Hormones [12+], that is all


I'm just going to imagine you in the background of every scene, waving a snapping lobster in the background every time a red flag is waved. Just a party of waving snapping lobsters as Clemence angsts. Clickclickclickclickclick.

I did, for awhile, think I was going crazy because I swore this chapter was supposed to be miserable. I'll leave it up to reader interpretation but cough, that's a lot of lobsters. I will say that there is certainly a lot of language that seems to say their romance works in a vacuum and that Clemence really isn't happy. There is like, zero happiness in this chapter so ??? I'll withdraw the pitchforks and hand them back out next chapter I guess :'D Following Clemence's footsteps and falling to the QGA mob.

♥ for your well-read red

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Review #24, by IN POST DELIRIUM 

22nd April 2015:
asdlkjfjlkdakljfdjkadjlkfd ah I CHECKED ETC SO OFTEN THIS WHOLE YEAR YOU HAVE NO IDEA I ALMOST DIED WHEN IT SAID THAT YOU actually UPDATED!! :D :D :D *cries* [on a scale of 1-Appy how melodramatic am I]

Author's Response: YOU ARE MAYBE SEVEN-TENTHS APPY. Let us not underestimate how Appy Appy can be. You do not want to go full Appy.

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Review #25, by GubraithianFire 

22nd April 2015:
I thought I'd do what I did for Capers and only review the last chapter with final thoughts and congratulations and all (and end up accidentally reviewing the second to last chapter because I thought it was the last chapter...), but that might not happen for TWO YEARS so I'll list out my feels now. Because I have feels. And they are not the ones I think a lot of readers hoped they would be at this point, so close to the end, but they are worth mentioning anyhow, so I can look back on this and shake my head at my past self. You know nothing, Gubby. The one thing I DO know is that I am horrible at formal reviewing now, so I might as well get back into the swing of that too, before I do have to somehow gather myself and write a final farewell review.

We've learned something about savagery since - holy bathtub scene, Batman, they certainly have. For all its absolutely horrendous connotations, savagery is so the perfect word for these two and their love. You know I have my ship in this story, but you never fail to make me question that shippy conviction even for a few moments, because God, are Albus and Clemence perfect for each other. Theirs is a kind of terrible, awesome (even awful?) love and I kind of adore it. Especially because Clemence knows exactly how awful it is. This is... it. This is what we've been building towards for 21 chapters... and we get an ellipsis. It's almost cruel. No, it is cruel. Which is what makes it amazing.

Clemence's retelling of her own story in that italicized fairytale portion versus what she thinks is the reality is also super telling. She resists the easy, trope-y reading of every possible story, even her own, and her eagerness to downplay her ~heroism~ is so typical, it hurts. God forbid Clemence Fitzgerald be the romantic hero leaping over baddies to save the fainting love interest. But this is who she's supposed to be now. And the unease she has with that role and everything she's being told she is - a gruff but heart-of-gold heroine, the ice queen melting because of luuurve - is so brilliantly underlined by her conversation with Dom and Janey. But we aren't the problem, she tells them: that's so purely Clemence that it comes across as kind of venomous. What on earth could Clemence Fitzgerald, of all people, stand to learn from the rabble that blindly idolizes her and the story she's fallen into by accident (or so she's desperate to believe)? Her answer, we learn, is nothing. Even in this period of supreme discomfort and disillusionment and, now that I think about it, sheer disgust with the role of Potter's girlfriend, she doesn't know that she needs to learn and grow.

Instead she's so desperate to not learn and not change that she'll back herself into a bomb shelter-esque space in the heart of a giant magical stone castle, and block out everyone and everything that unsettles her, even slightly. That line, I care enough to pretend that I care, that's such a rare feeling to see articulated, and it really resonated with me for reasons, but it's so great because it explains Clemence's attitude towards almost everything. And increasingly, it seems, her attitude towards Albus. Love (particularly their love) is so far from being her fairytale end-all/be-all that it could be scary for what it means for Clembus.

Albus isn't faring much better than her in this love-as-goddess-worship/love-as-obliteration-of-self point of view, but he's trying. Or is he? Idk, I vacillate on what I think of him depending on how hot he is in a particular scene, but he isn't super into growth either, is he? And why would he be, if he has now everything he wanted?

Anyway: it's kind of remarkable how Clemence has blocked herself into a corner actually by obtaining more nominal power/scope than she had before and thereby potentially widening the horizons of her own possibility. She's stuck in a dungeon because she won a kingdom, and just as importantly, because she won the king. You know how I love those kinds of arcs for the cruel, quick-witted characters I like to write and read about, and it's being executed so well here it gives me chills to think about.

I cannot wait for the descent. It's going to be messy and possibly heartrending, but it's only a matter of time.

(Not a year, though. Please not a year).

Author's Response: I've let this review sit here since April to remind me what this chapter was all about. You could always explain what I wanted to say better than I could, which I know seems silly because I said the thing via story, but etc is such a discovery process that I honestly don't know what I mean to say sometimes until someone else tells me.

Your formal reviews are such a treat btw *u*

Albus's entire character screams 'I Knew You Were Trouble', but it's such an addicting thing to be loved. Out of context, they're perfect in matching each other, and that's the tragedy/reality of it. A version of them could exist together happily - a version where Clemence is much more like how she started in the story than how she is now. But in that version, she never changes, and there would lie another tragedy entirely. Clemence paradoxically puts so much weight in emotion, and boiled down, I think that's what everyone cheers for--Clemence experiencing something great enough to believe in it. For all she's done, she still only believes in herself. Which segues into the trust issues next chapter.

"God forbid Clemence Fitzgerald be the romantic hero" - basically your entire paragraph is perfect. As I was writing, I only knew it as Clemence resisting her label. These are the two sides of Clemence - the one inexplicably linked to Hogwarts lives and beyond, and the one that believes she can remove herself from all that and rise above. Perhaps that's what draws her into these 'out of context' situations with Albus, because they both desperately want to be where they never need to be a hero nor take responsibility. But the two sides are leaking into each other, and I think it's most telling in how she feels she deserves better than Albus. Former ruthless, casual-snarky Clemence doesn't deserve better, and if she truly believed she were still that person, she would have no issue being with Albus.

I didn't expect that line - 'I care enough to pretend that I care' - to resonate so much. Writing Clemence, I dredge up that part of me that never entirely feels resolved. I remembered what it was like to "learn to care"; the rule is, your feelings need to be genuine, but at the same time, you're supposed to have certain feelings to be a decent human being, and too often, these both couldn't be true at the same time for me. I could either be myself or I could be a decent human being, and everyone else could only see choice #2 because it ought to be easy - natural - to do that. No, it had to be very much learned and - until it became natural - faked. The bomb-shelter heart is much more than protection for Clemence; it's become her identity.

'[Albus] isn't super into growth either, is he? And why would he be, if he has now everything he wanted?' - Albus's lack of growth isn't an accident pretty much because of this. He still suffers no real consequences. Is losing Clemence a great enough catalyst to cause him to change, though? The two previous times that she nearly slipped away - after she's attacked by the girls in the loo and after she's attacked by Appy - were opportunities for him to do *something* but he doesn't. And he still got what he wanted, so why would he?

Thank god you love these arcs because she wouldn't have any other kind :'D but that's me - wary of authority and power. I wouldn't trust a story where power is a real prize.

♥ this review is perf and you are perf. I ultimately may be writing etc for three people, but it means everything to know I'm not alone. That is enough of reason to keep writing.


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