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5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage 

9th April 2017:
Hi! here for CTF #5!

I must say, the lightness between the talk between Mary and Lily and the one between Phil and his mum give a sort of lightness I absolutely could use right now. It's nice to see, as it contrasts nicely with the war that's been going on and it also gives a bit of hope that things can get alrihgt, or that there is a sense or normalcy to be found in every day things, even if it might not always seem that way.
And despite not quite liking him, but that's maybe also because of his attitude and because of the POV it's told from - it was nice to see Rivers make a return. it also shows that we should not always go out from the worst, or assume the worst and move on regarless, because the outcome can absolutely be better than expected.
I am also pleased that Jack finally saw that the war and fighting is not always roses and that it's heavier than he thought it was, which clearly showed in the fact that he needed a drink for purposes other than fun. It really gave more depth to him in that regards, so absolutely well done.
Oh and I love the fact that mention about that letter too, that Phil wrote so quickly already. It really shows how much he cares for her and I'm sure it'll give him something to fight for and look forward to whenever he needs to get back to the frontline.
Well done!

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Review #2, by merlins beard 

9th April 2017:
Hey 😊 back again for CTF – we’ve almost got it!!!
So two weeks seems like nowhere near enough time to get away from a war. It’s probably just enough for the exhaustion to wear off a bit and the nightmares to catch up to you. It’s so sweet how Phil still wants to take care of his mother while he’s home. (Sadly, I feel like that used to happen a lot more back then and happens a lot less now – not that women need as much taking care of as they supposedly did back then)…
Hm at first I really thought Dorcas’ article would be about Lily, too. But she does go on a bit about how Purebloods change their minds…
I do like how James and Lily seem to get along okay in your story. They’re like cat and dog in some other stories and it kind of irritates me – not here though. I can really see that they might end up together here. Sure, James is a bit of a prat and I can totally see how he could really annoy or irritate Lily with some of the things he does but in general she doesn’t mind being around him.
Oh Jack, the horrors you’re seeing :/ 1940 was an awful time to be alive anywhere in Europe.
Don’t get lost in a war seems like both an impossible task and an important lesson to learn here. The feeling of needing a drink is foreign to me but I kind of get the sentiment here. I so do not want to switch places with Jack here.
Am I right in assuming that the Marauders are messing with Severus and that’s what Lily is seeing here?
Aw I love the sweet little bit about Phil and his mother, where no one is fighting. I love that she made him a suit. Who makes things nowadays?? You’d be hard pressed to find someone who can really make you a suit.

Can’t wait to see how this continues ❤
Xoxo
Anja

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Review #3, by PaulaTheProkaryote 

14th February 2017:
Hi katie!

I love Phil's mother. She reminds me a bit of molly. Very precious.

I love your transitions from scene to scene. They are seriously so seamless. Like the transition from him posting the letter to Lily and her mail. I swear I love it.

Oooh Who will Dorcas be introducing? I love the suspense.

"You mean you don't know?" There seems to be a common theme here. Everyone else seems to know except Lily!

I’m in love with the James and Lily small talk. He’s so adorable. She’s so adorable. They are precious babies.

I wonder if maybe the other person who changed their opinion because of Dorcas is James. I don't have any concrete proof, but it would make sense. James knows that Lily likes Dorcas and her writing so if he truly is interested in her he'd probably check it out. He's the kind of fellow that would send in feedback so it's on my list of possibilities. Plus it would definitely send Lily into a tizzy.

Oh man. Is this going to be the famous mudblood scene? I bet it is. I can’t wait to see how you characterize it. I know I’ll love it already.

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Review #4, by pathfinder 

28th February 2016:
This was a great chapter. Your development of all of the story lines is outstanding and draws the reader in. Your dialogue continues to flow seamlessly and stays natural. The transitions in this chapter were well done and flowed into one another visually.

“Prejudice is learned, and it is important for us to help students unlearn it.” This was my favorite quote from the whole chapter. It’s true to life and speaks to a much bigger issue than just this story, so I appreciated it on a number of levels.

I have some cc for this chapter, but not much:

In this chapter, we learn that Mary is also muggle born. The first question that I had is whether she is also having the same problem with the Slytherins. I’m curious to know if she dealt with the prejudice in a different way since she didn’t seem to be dueling in the hallways.

For the dialogue between James and Lily, it might be improved with some description rather than just the straight back-and-forth dialogue. (This is a similar comment to the one between Phil and Fiona on the train where a little more description of their mannerisms during conversation could bring more life to the scene.)

As with the last chapter, the only character I’m still struggling with is Jack. He seemed all gung ho before ‘The Battle’ and now he’s completely changed, but it wasn’t clear to me what happened to change his mind (getting knocked unconscious?). Perhaps you’re going to get there in later chapters with flashbacks or something - especially since he’s going to be in England for a while.

I loved the way you ended the section with Lily. Everyone who’s read the series knows exactly what scene Lily is referring to at the end and the cliffhanger was well done to just pull you into the next chapter - even through the sections with Phil and Jack.

So again, this was an outstanding chapter and I'm really enjoying this story.

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Review #5, by Your Purple Pygmy Puff 

25th May 2015:
Hi, Katie!
It's me again, with tons of cuddles for you, as always!!!

No reviews on this lovely chapter?!? How did it happen?!? Was it too quiet, maybe? I can't see why that would be a problem, I'm actually glad for this tiny parenthesis of calmness! :)

Seeing Phil finally back home, with his mother taking care for him, enjoying the feeling of the places of his childhood, and that little reference to the letter he's already written to Fiona... My little Pygmy Puff's heart is so overwhelmed with sweetness!!!

Oh, Lily... Is she really that oblivious?!? I loved her conversation with James! He's just so cute!!!

And Jack... As I said, he's seeing things in a different light now! Oh, I'm so glad Rivers is alive! I loved their exchange, too... And Jack's silence was just so eloquent...

Mmmm... I know what it is that Lily and her friends saw from the edge of the lake... And I know what will happen next... I'm not sure I want to read about it...

Lovely chapter! So cute and refreshing! I suppose the next will be a bit more intense, and I really don't mind it, but it was still great to have a bit of solace in here!

Thank you so much, my darling!
Your Purple Pygmy Puff

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!!

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