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5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Felpata Lupin 

6th January 2017:
Hi, Jayde!
So, I thought I'd stop by to wish you happy new year! (And because I've been meaning to come back to this story for a while...)

Ahahah! For some reason the final line with James telling Albus "Itís his ĎSaviorí thing" amused me a lot. Guess it has something to do with how he reacted when his mother told him the same a few years before. I love that it's just part of the family lexicon. :D

James' reaction at his parents' refusal to buy him a new broom was hilarious too. So childish, but so true to his character (or at least, to how I imagine him to be).
"The Nimbus 2020 is†last yearís†model, Dad! That broom is all worn out, itís†ancient!" Yes, James... sure... :P

His protestes when he realized that Albus was going to have a new broom were even more childish and ridicolous, if possible... on the other hand, I guess a bit of brother's rivalry is inevitable, right? I think I even felt slightly bad for him (but just slightly).

By the way, I liked that Albus is a Slytherin and that Harry is still so fond of him. Not that it is surpring, I just like that.

Ahahah! Poor Harry, panicking when he couldn't see Albus anymore... you wrote it so well, I could feel the tension, even if I knew Albus had probably just walked away for a moment and was just round the corner. And he wasnít even round the corner, just distracted by the shop's window and covered from sight... his embarassment and annoyance at his father were great too! :P

This was another lovely chapter! I need to come back for Lily's chapter soon! But not right now because I've been lazy enough and I should really get out of bed and do things...

Happy 2017! See you soon!
Lots of love,
Chiara

Author's Response: Chiara!! ♥ You are the absolute SWEETEST! Thank you SO MUCH for this amazing review!! ♥

I'm glad the line about the 'Savior Thing' amused you! :D You're right, it's definitely become part of the family lexicon at this point - I wonder how that will play into the remaining chapters? *whistles innocently*

Hehe! I'm glad you thought James' reaction was hilarious and in-character! It really IS very childish, but I think almost all teenagers go through a phase like that. Haha, yeah, the broom really is ancient, isn't it? :P

I have to admit, I feel a tiny bit bad for James, also, but he's basically spoiled rotten, hearing a little 'no' every now and again will do him some good. :P And YES, there's definitely going to be some brother's rivalry there!

Aww, thanks! I couldn't decide if I should make Al a Slytherin or not, but in the end I'm glad I did. I'm glad you liked that Harry is still fond of him, despite that. I honestly feel that's the kind of parent Harry would be.

Aww, thank you! I'm so flattered that you think I wrote Harry's reaction well, and Al's also! It really makes me feel good that you could feel the emotion and tension going on there!

Thank you SO MUCH for stopping by to read this, I can't wait to see what you think if Lily's Chapter!!


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Review #2, by Penelope Inkwell 

9th May 2016:
Hey!

It's me again. Had to go do some other things for a while, but now I'm back :D

This was a good companion piece to the first one, letting us see the issue from a pre-teen/teenager perspective. Whiny James was well-written--I was about to ground him, or whatever you do to punish your kids when they're going to boarding school. Good night! :p The bit about Albus 'not even being good at Quidditch' was a good touch, too. I could imagine James as being a bit self-focused and definitely engaging in plenty of spats motivated by sibling rivalry. I especially like how Ginny mostly handles breaking the news up till that point--she had siblings, after all, and knows what that's like in a way Harry doesn't. But then Harry takes his cues from her, and when Ginny finally runs out of patience, it's like he knows that, at this point, they've reached the realm of the ridiculous and he can step in. I can just sort of imagine them falling into that pattern, where Ginny handles some of the sibling stuff because she gets it, while Harry cannot really imagine being unhappy when you have brothers and sisters to play with that love you (aww, my heart!). He wouldn't know how to relate to it as well.

But then he does step in and that moment is so strong. Poor Harry was all but panicking in Diagon Alley, and Albus was only out of his sight for a moment. But still, you expressed it perfectly--we could understand why. I imagine it must be worse, in some ways, now that his children are being sent off on their own to Hogwarts, and now that he can't be holding their hands all the time, you know? So I thought the fact that his stress really built here, seeming more panicked than last chapter, made perfect sense. Even though he's had more time to heal, the circumstances have changed. It must be so hard for him, in some ways, to send his kids off to Hogwarts, even though he knows that they'll love it like he did, and you really made me feel that.

Besides which, you nailed Albus' reaction. The kind of whiney, embarrassed, why-did-I-get-called-out-I-wasn't-even-doing-anything?? is so preteen. I also like that, despite James being annoying at the beginning, you show him having a bit of that older brother wisdom, too. He knows the deal about his dad better than Albus--I'm sure he learned a bit about it at Hogwarts by now--and he does get why his dad was worried. He doesn't make a big deal of it, but he clearly understands it to an extent. His dad just made a scene, but James isn't embarrassed. Some of that may just be James' easier manner, or that it wasn't his name being called, but I like this brief show of maturity. You're good depicting the ages. At 15, James is stuck between being a kid and starting to be a young adult, so I like these swings between immaturity and responsibility. And, of course, it was nice to see some rapport between the siblings, just to round things out and show that, despite the teen angst, the Potters really are a loving family.

CC: I had one tiny thing, but you should know I'm one of the nitpickiest people you'll come across, so this really is practically nothing

the Hogwarts express
--I believe the "e" in "express" is usually capitalized, as it's a name.


Really good job, here! I'm glad I ran into this little series--thank heavens for blog recs! And I hope to be on to Lily's story, soon! Did I mention how clean your writing is? I LOVE that!

--Penny

Author's Response: ANOTHER surprise review?!? You're spoiling me! ♥

I'm so happy to hear that you think this is a good follow-up to the first piece! Haha! On the one hand, I'm sorry that I wrote James so annoying, but on the other hand, if I could even make YOU want to ground him, that makes me think I conveyed his annoying ways well, so I'm pleased. :P And OH yes, I think there'd definitely be some sibling rivalry going on in that family! Haha, yes, Ginny knows not only how to handle siblings, but also how to handle lots of boys. The poor girl was surrounded by them in her childhood. XD And Aww.. thinking about the fact that Harry doesn't know what it's like to have siblings got me right in the feels, too. :( I definitely think that, to a certain extent, Harry would take his cues from Ginny, as you said, and step up only when she can no longer handle it, but, because he knows less about siblings, I can imagine there'd be times when things would go the other way around, and he'd try some sort of solution that Ginny would know wouldn't work, if that makes any sense. And yes, you're SO right about Harry not being able to relate to the feeling of being unhappy with having siblings, so I can imagine there'd be lots of moments where one of the kids would say something childish about not liking their brother or sister, and Harry would kind of lose it and remind them to be thankful for their family. (Poor Harry! :( )

Eeek! I'm flattered that you think that moment was really strong! I think we've all had that moment where we can't find someone for a second and very irrationally start thinking they're lost forever, and I think that feeling would just be ten times worse and unbearable for Harry. And you make a GREAT point about it causing him even more stress at this point in his childrens' lives because he's having to let go of their hands a little bit.. GAH. This is twice in the past 2 days that you've really made me want to turn this into a complete novel about Harry dealing with PTSD and the side effects on his children! I'm glad you thought his reaction made perfect sense! And yes, that's something that I hadn't given much thought to before, but it'd definitely be hard for him to see his children go off to Hogwarts. And I'm so happy that I could make you feel what he's going through here! GAHH I really want to make this a novel now!!

Teehee! Thank you for your compliments about the pre-teen reaction! That 'I wasn't even doing anything' whining is EXACTLY what I was aiming for there! And yeah, for parents and siblings, teenagers can be annoying at times, but they can also be really helpful and protective older brothers who genuinely try to help out as well. I'll be honest, I was a little worried that the change in James from earlier in the chapter might have been a bit too sudden, but I'm really glad to hear that it seemed to fit with his age and where he's at on the adult/child spectrum. And you're right, they really are loving, regardless! I'm glad that came across here!

Thank you SO much for the CC! *Squish* I welcome and appreciate it, and you're absolutely right! I can't believe I overlooked that! *hides*

Thank you AGAIN, SO MUCH for these amazing reviews! I can't wait to see what you think of Lily's chapter, as I just wrote it the other day and haven't had much feedback yet! And yes, thank heavens for blog recs - they sent you my way with these amazing reviews! And Awww!! STAHP it Penny, you're making me blush!! ♥


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Review #3, by Frankie05 

21st August 2015:
Hey jayde,

I'd thought I'd pop by for a bit of a pick me up review. This chapter was so great? James is being such a snotty child it makes me laugh.

How stressful would it be to do shopping on the day the train leaves. Whoosh. I was stressed just thinking about it!

You did a magnificent job setting up the scene and having us walk through the day with the Potter family.

You seriously had me cracking up at James with the broom. I bet Harry was having serious flashbacks to his youth- not the temper tantrum but the general teenagery of life.

Go AL. Trying out for Quidditch! I love Harry's trash talk to James to have Als back but then the terrifying moment he thought he lost his child. I could only imagine the terror. You described it perfectly. Poor AL is just distracted- he missed everything that happened. And nothing is more embarrassing to a twelve year old than his parents. This was perfect. So precious. Keep the updates coming ;)

Hug you long time Jayde,
Frankie

Author's Response: Aww Frankie, thank you SO much! This is So kind of you, I just can't even! *Squishes*

Yes, it would definitely be stressful to go shopping on the day the train leaves!

I'm happy that I made you laugh, and that you think I set the scene up well!

Thank you SO much for all of your kind words and compliments, and for taking the time to leave this review!


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Review #4, by Ron 4 Hermione 

20th July 2015:
Hufflepuff- House cup 2015!

Hey there, figured I'd come and read you're next chapter seeing as the first one was so good.

So first off I think you've did it again with the characterisations, especially the panic that set in when Harry thought Albus had gone missing. I can relate to that bit, and boy is it scary! I think you got that across really well.

Loved James' attitude in this, nice surly teenager aha. I can see why he'd get all annoyed though although I loved the line "James Sirius, don't let me hear you say that again" because it sounds like something you'd say to someone younger but since the line Ginny's replying too could also sound like a child, I think it fits really well.

(Side note, but I love that you put Al in Slytherin, I always imagined he could potentially end up in there after asking his father about it in DH!)

Anyway, this was another great chapter, i think you write the potter family really well and this comes across as being another funny, well-written chapter! :)

Author's Response: EEEK! Another amazing review?! Thank you!!

I'm so happy that you still think the characterization is good, and that I conveyed the emotions well!

Haha yes, James isn't the little boy crying anymore! :P Yes, it's kind of easy to understand why he'd be annoyed, but luckily Ginny was there to put him in his place! :P I'm happy that you think that line fits really well!

As for Al - I have always read different stories where Al was in Gryffindor or Slytherin, and I really wasn't sure which side of that debate I was on, until I wrote this. I just thought it made for a little more dynamics and diversity amongst the Potters house-wise, and especially after the conversation you mentioned in DH! :D I'm glad you liked it!!

Thank you SO much for another fabulous review! I have 2 more chapters planned, I'm hoping to have them up soon!


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Review #5, by merlins beard 

24th March 2015:
I like this. looking forward to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for stopping by and reading and reviewing this! I'm hoping to post the last couple of chapters soon! Thank you!

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