Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.





  
16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AbraxanUnicorn 

9th April 2017:
Hello again! This fifth flag is taking a while to find, but we're quite determined to hunt it down :)

The start of this chapter begins quite superficially, with a comment about how the Evans family was full of soldiers, and how Lily and Petunia's father and grandfather would tell them tales of their lives as soldiers. Obviously, they leave out the gruesome details and concentrate on the light-hearted stories to begin with. Until they get a bit older, then their grandfather begins to tell darker stories about his days during the war, to Lily.

Jump back to 1916 and the start of grandfather Phil's experiences. He's conscripted and called up to fight, there was no choice given to him in the matter. He struggled to sleep with all the disturbances around him

1940, and in contrast to his father's first experiences, Jack Evans has absolutely no trouble sleeping during the noise of war. He has chosen to fight and enlisted as soon as he looked old enough to pass inspection. So, he probably didn't make the minimum age for signing up.

1971 and Lily's first morning at Hogwarts. Having arrived at school with Severus, she was then parted from him by virtue of the Sorting Hat. Rather sadly and darkly, she encounters prejudice on her very first day - being called a mudblood by Thaddeus Avery, who then goes on to explain what he means by the offensive term. What a nasty piece of work he is for an eleven year old. Severus says nothing during this chapter, despite being present when Avery strikes verbally. Will he stick up for Lily, or will he succumb to peer pressure?

1940 again and Jack encounters Paddy Rivers, who seems to be overly attentive to young Jack; something which he doesn't appreciate. Maybe Paddy has realised that Jack is too young to fight and is trying to take him under his wing?

1916 again, and grandfather Phil takes the flack for someone else's error regarding wire wrapping, sustaining some minor injuries as he corrects the work. I hope the comrades responsible show Phil some respect for the fact that he didn't dob them in.

1971 again. Lily gets the better of Avery in a minor duel. (Expelliarmus! I loved the use of this spell by Lily, almost like it's a family trait!). Mary (McDonald?) seems quite disapproving of Lily's action at first, but I think she takes Lily's side after a bit of explanation.

Another fabulous chapter :)

Brax X

 Report Review

Review #2, by PaulaTheProkaryote 

14th February 2017:
Hi Katie!

“He told her the stories of his battles, so different from those of his son. Like her father’s, they started funny at first, and as she aged, and he aged, they got darker and darker.” My dad lived through WWII and served in Korea and this is exactly how the stories started for me. He was 15 when he joined because his dad forged some papers and that makes me laugh because there’s Jack doing the same thing. They were light and silly stories and about the boys he bunked with at first. Then as I got older I started hearing the ones where dad almost didn’t make it. There was one in korea where he nearly froze to death on a mountain after a car accident and no one was looking for them because communication was nonexistent and some korean family dragged him miles down the mountain with a broken leg and ribs and kept him safe until the snow melted and they could take him to the hospital. But he had a lot of darker ones too. It’s just how funny that I relate to this so much.

Lily and her father and her grandfather all have that lively, spitfire personality in the bits we see of them and I’m in love with that characterization.

I love Lily and the way she fights back. I love her besting Avery like it’s nothing and I love, love, love how fiery she is. I don’t even have the right words to tell you how much I love her and because Lily is probably my favorite character in the entire series as a whole (and definitely my favorite to read) it means that much more to me that I think your Lily might be the best Lily I’ve ever read. Ignore that I’ve only just started the story. It’s irrelevant.

 Report Review

Review #3, by cherry_pop94 

13th October 2015:
Another great chapter!

I adore how well you've woven the three stories together. It just makes perfect sense. I think Jack is quickly becoming my favourite. He's got a real sense of innocence about him, but I sort of just want to swaddle him up and take him home! He's just a kid, younger than me!

Each of the Evans really has something special about them. I can't put my finger on it, but they're all such engaging characters. And how war touched them is different each time. Phil was conscripted, Jack enlisted, and Lily just found herself unwillingly plopped in the middle of a war.

Starting Lily out so young, and no actually fighting an opposing army like her father and grandfather yet, makes for a great story I think. We get to know her better, but we also see that Lily's war did not start with the Order of the Phoenix, but that she was fighting ever since the start. She's always been a fighter.

Thanks for sharing this great story!

Stefanie

 Report Review

Review #4, by HeyMrsPotter 

11th September 2015:
Me again!

So I'm now entirely convinced that you are secretly some sort of time-traveller and you actually were around for both World Wars because otherwise how do you write such convincing accounts of them?

I love your Lily so much. The fact that she couldn't wait to eat and then was so stubborn when Avery wanted to shake her hand and when he called her a muggle, just omg♥ And the way she puts the body bind at him at the end! She's my new hero. For some reason this line She turned to look at Severus. “Does it?” really made me feel sad, it's like she's asking him for reassurance that what she was arguing was true but the fact that you didn't write his answer makes it seem like he didn't give her one and just...gah, my heart.

It's amazing that even though you're writing essentially three different stories in one, you transition through them so effortlessly. I really love the way that you did each one in this chapter, with the answering of the question and then the inhale/exhale thing. Very clever!

This was another great chapter.

Dee

 Report Review

Review #5, by BellaLestrange87 

19th August 2015:
I'm back for a second chapter!

I love the beginning of this chapter; how Lily pays attention to her father and grandfather while Petunia doesn't (that seems so in character with what we know of them); her father and grandfather trying to outdo each other with their stories.

“It started,” her grandfather would begin, “when some bloody fools shot the Archduke of someplace-or-another…” This made me laugh very hard. A lot of the soldiers fighting didn't care about how the war started, only about the fact that there was a war. Only one thing: only one person actually killed the Archduke, instead of a handful of people, so the sentence should read "a bloody fool".

I really like the description of Philip's first little bit in the army. He sounds so unused to army life, and you've written this bit so well. I especially like his confusion about having to sleep in the middle of the day as opposed to at night.

I love the section describing Jack's beginning in the army. I love how you had him sign up as an underage recruit - that was fairly common and I really like the detail - as well as his incredulity about the lack of bullets. Also, the banter between the men was really well done.

Lily's section was my favourite, I think. I really like the contrast between her excitement here, about education, and Philip and Jack's first little bit in the army. Lily seems so innocent here that I'm sad for what's to come. Can't she just be happy forever.

I love how enthusiastic she is to be at Hogwarts. She's reminding me a lot of Hermione here, wanting to be down at breakfast, sit with her friends (although at this stage in Hermione's school career she wasn't yet friends with Harry and Ron) and go to class.

I really like how Lily's friends are helping her out and explaining what the different classes mean. I love the fact that Astronomy is on Wednesday, just like it was for Harry.

I love Lily's first interaction with the Slytherin gang of boys. Thaddeus is such a perfect name for a pureblood, too. She sounds so surprised by their casual prejudice and disgusted by it and I love it as she's never been exposed to that kind of hatred before.

I have a bit of CC about the second Jack section - starting off with Paddy talking about the Germans and brains was a jolt from Lily and talk about Mudbloods. I'd maybe add a sentence or two of context before that (maybe a line from Jack complaining about the helmet, as I didn't know what Paddy was talking about until I read the rest of the paragraph. (Feel free to ignore me, of course!)

Ugh. Rivers and Glover sound like terrible officers. I don't know if Rivers is an officer or a sergeant/other noncommissioned officer, but he sucks. You shouldn't baby your men. And Glover... *glares*

I found a typo:

It did not matter that Phil had not had asked the question. “Do you?” - that Phil had not asked

Yes! I love Lily standing up for herself! Avery is so arrogant and boastful and I love the fact that she bested him (both in the argument and in skill with a wand).

I really loved this chapter! I'll be on to the next one soon!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Thank you so much for another wonderful review! I'm so terrible at responding to all the lovely things people have to say, it's overwhelming positivity! I so appreciate the time you spent to type this out, and it's definitely encouraging to get such good feedback! Thank you!

As for the Archduke comment, Phil is referring less to the specific shooter as he is to the assassination as a whole. Because it was planned by a group of people (and attempted by a group of people), he's referring to the group. It occurs to me that he might not actually know that, so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong!

Thank you for the CC and pointing out the typo! I'm working on editing a bit right now :)


 Report Review

Review #6, by Penelope Inkwell 

16th August 2015:
Another excellent chapter. I love how you make blend the different eras together, with the whole "does it matter" question. It's very cinematic--reminds me of movie transitions. I'm not usually a big war story girl, but somehow I still find the way you're weaving this together so creative and interesting.

CC:
Jack Evans slept soundly as the sounds of military life drifted around him.
--We're really in the realm of the nitpicky here, but that's because I didn't notice any significant issues at all. I just think it might flow better if you didn't have "soundly" and "sounds" one right after the other. Maybe "sounds" could be replaced by "noises"?

Once again, this is very well done. I'm impressed with the whole idea, and with your execution of it.

Also, go Lily! Take 'em down! :D

--Penny

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying this even if you aren't usually into war stories. I really wasn't either until I started writing it...

Anyway thank you for the CC! I've edited it a bit so it sounds better :)


 Report Review

Review #7, by manno_malfoy 

13th August 2015:
So initially, I thought it'd be tough to keep track of what's going on in each war and with each Evan because of the shifting about. But you chose perfect points to stop and resume each story and I had no trouble whatsoever. In fact, this way, it's like going through a collection of anecdotes, and I've enjoyed the chapter and the three different story lines a lot.

I didn't expect you'd tell Lily's story from the start, but it's nice that you did. I always enjoy reading about her and Severus and it's always interesting to see how their friendship would come to an end. I love the characterisation of your young Lily. She's such a trouble-maker and it's amazing that she's fending her enemies off all by herself. Not only that, but she even manages to get away with it.

I do hope we'll be seeing more of Severus and, of course, the Marauders as the story progresses. And I'm eager to see how this Lily will develop into the exemplary student that all the teachers remember. :D

-Manno

Author's Response: Yes! That is exactly what I want to hear about the three stories! I was a little concerned how that would work in planning, and it took me forever to figure out how to switch stories, so I'm glad it's working!

I debated a lot on where to start Lily's story as well. It would have made more sense in a lot of ways, but the other two start at the beginning, so I thought Lily's ought to too. and I really like writing little Lily! She's so much fun, and I love getting the chance to develop her so thoroughly!

Definitely more Severus and definitely more Marauders coming up! Thank you again for the review!:)


 Report Review

Review #8, by marauderfan 

11th August 2015:
Swap!! I was so excited to come back to this story, I remember really loving the first chapter.

The first thing I wanted to comment on was your impressive transitions! I thought it was really cool how you linked the last phrase of each section with the first phrase of the next - it made it flow really nicely rather than being choppy as it could have been.

It's also kind of cool how you arranged it so that this chapter is like the first taste of the war for all of them - Lily's father and grandfather adjusting to their new life as a member of the armed force and hiding in a trench where there are dangerous things and not a lot of time to sleep, and how Lily is seeing the first of what will eventually become a war (although at the moment it's just the beginning and not a war yet, but the ideas that fueled the later war are already causing disagreements between students). The parallels are set up really well.

Poor Lily, realising that her best friend won't always have her back and that Severus' friends see her as so much lower and unimportant. But I liked how assertive she was standing up to Avery by the second section - clearly their words aren't affecting her own self-worth and she knows she's in the right - good for Lily! You go girl!

Gah, that part about how the soldiers in the war tried to detach themselves and not get too attached to their fellow soldiers because those friends might die - ugh, that really got me. :(

It's interesting the way you've framed this chapter about Lily seeking the stories her father and grandfather didn't tell as often - which is making me wonder if the 1916 and 1940 segments are pieces of stories they're telling, or whether it's just another timeline being told concurrently - either way I think makes an interesting story. I'm really eager to keep reading and see how the stories unfold as each of them get deeper into the wars and everything that comes along with that. This is such an original idea for a story and I love it so far.

Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for swapping with me!

I'm glad you liked the beginning, I debated a little bit on where to start with Lily, and decided this made the best parallels. Glad that came across!

I hadn't thought about the other sections being interpreted as parts of stories Lily had heard-- which I probably should have. I've intended them to be the reality of the situations, which will probably become a bit more clear as the story progresses.

Thank you so much for the review!


 Report Review

Review #9, by nott theodore 

8th August 2015:
Hi again!

This was a great first chapter to the story, after the prologue introducing us to the concept of the three generations of soldiers. I feel like you really started telling their stories properly here, and showed the way that you wanted to continue telling the stories of the three different wars throughout the story. It's so interesting to see the similarities and differences together constantly.

I think one of the things I was most impressed with in this chapter was the way you managed the different transitions between the stories; often, in stories when you've got so many different jumps in time occurring in one chapter, it can feel quite disjointed and confusing. But this isn't, because you segue really well between the sections - linking between the end of one section and what follows immediately after in the next - and that helps it to flow really well.

The opening of this chapter worked really well, too, to introduce us to the characters a little more and then to set up for the stories that you'd continue to tell through the chapter. I think the fact that Petunia didn't really care that much about the stories her father or grandfather had to tell while Lily did kind of marks out how different they are. Jack also clearly suffered a lot during the war - and he still suffered afterwards, from what I've read in the first section.

One thing I was wondering was whether all of the stories that we're going to see in this story are meant to be those that have been told to Lily, or are we getting a glimpse of what their life was really like during the war? Part of me is wondering because the majority of people I've met - and who my parents and grandparents knew - who fought during the wars didn't actually talk very much about their experiences. It's kind of hard to explain what I mean in a review, and I'm also wondering if it's something more connected with the British mentality, but I know that a lot of the stories descendants heard were only the ones about what they had to survive in terms of living conditions and the jokes and so on - they didn't tend to share their experiences about the actual fighting and what they saw, apart from the odd gruesome detail that used to slip out. I'm not sure if this even makes sense, and it's certainly not a criticism, but I was just wondering about how much and in how much detail you were imagining her father and grandfather told Lily about their wars. I kind of feel like they'd have tried to protect her from the worst of it as much as possible (if this doesn't make sense, blame sleep deprivation :P).

I liked the way you continued to portray the differences between the wars that they're fighting, as well. Philip seems to be fighting out of duty to his country more than any other reason, and I think part of the reason Jack's chosen to fight is so that he can be treated like a man. He struggles to understand that the men teasing him is more out of protectiveness than anything else, I think.

Another Brit-pick - when you use kilometres in the section with Jack, the orders would have been given in miles, for the Brits at least, in spite of being in France. Metric wasn't used at all in the country until way later, and we still use miles for distance now.

I really liked your characterisation of Lily in this. I felt so sorry for her in the first section, when she'd just arrived at Hogwarts and she was so excited to be there and be starting out on a new life and having fun with her friend, but she's confronted straight away with a prejudice that she hasn't been prepared for and there's nobody there to look after her. Later, when we see her hexing Avery, I liked her feistiness - the fact she's not fighting out of a sense of duty or eagerness to fight, but because she herself is coming under attack and she has to defend herself. I liked seeing the more aggressive (that word might be too strong, but I can't think of a better one right now) side to her, because she won't just back down and be walked all over, and I don't think we often see that side to her.

Great chapter - I'm reading on for more!

Sian :)

Author's Response: SIAN YOUR REVIEWS ARE GOING TO KILL ME. This is such an amazing review and I am having such a hard time responding to it appropriately. WHICH IS WHY IT'S TAKEN ME FOUR MONTHS APPARENTLY.

Okay so first off, you're getting the real stories in the fic. I think most of these types of war experiences are deeply personal, and not something you particularly want to share or even really remember. The stories Lily heard as a child are a much more light hearted perspective on the memories. It's her father and grandfather purposefully focusing on the easy parts so they can ignore the rest. Except for on occasion when they got to talking and slipped more into the real stories than they intended. (So yes it is exactly what you were saying in the review and it made perfect sense.)

I'm so glad that you like Lily! One of my goals with this is to show this tougher side of her because we don't get to see that side of her very often. In fic she's usually either insanely sweet or a really wretched shrew, and I like to see the balance.

I'm so glad you're enjoying this fic, thank you so much for taking the time to leave these wonderful reviews! They are such a joy to receive and it's so nice to read them over again when I'm struggling. Thank you! :)



 Report Review

Review #10, by Your Purple Pygmy Puff 

20th May 2015:
Hello,
I'm your Pygmy Puff again! :)

So, this chapter was good, very well built!
You showed Phil, Jack and Lily's personalities pretty well. They all seem very fierce and strong people!

You also showed pretty well the different attitudes towards their battles that you already introduced in the prologue.
Phil fights for duty, follows orders and just tries to not subside to his fears and do his best.
Jack is young and entustiastic, wants people to take him seriously and basically wants to show that he is a man.
And Lily fights to defend herself and her dignity, to show that she's not weak, not lesser than others because of her Muggle origins.

I loved how you worked with the parallel narrative, and I loved how the question "does it matter?" serve as a link through the different sections. It's an interesting question, especially if you insert it in the war contest...

Once again, brilliant work! I'm so proud of you!!!
Many cuddles and much, much love!
Your Purple Pygmy Puff

Author's Response: Chiara these seriously never fail to make me smile! I'm so glad you like this story :)

 Report Review

Review #11, by merlins beard 

1st May 2015:
Hi there.

I really enjoyed reading this so far. I still have heaps of other reviews to do, but when I'm done I'll be back to read the rest of your story.

I like that I haven't seen anything quite like this yet. It never even occured to me that the first rise of Voldemort was conveniently timed to make the space between the two (Muggle) World Wars and the Wizarding War pretty much exactly a generation apart.

I find the idea of her growing up with war stories intriguing, becaus it reminds me a lot about my own grandparents (and my boyfriend's as well), who served in World War II and often talk about it. As they get older, it haunts their minds even more than it did when I was a kid.

Wars are terrible, terrible places to be. Everyone who has to see any of it is a victim, maybe not physically, but emotionally.

Her father and Grandfather must have had horrible memories and experiences, but Lily gave up more than they both ever could.
She gave up her own life. Her dream of seeing her own son grow up and be happy. And, as she died, she knew that there was a high possibility that her infant son would follow soon after her.

The wizarding war - even if it was fictional - was definitely full of fear, probably more than the (real) World Wars, but that might also be because we usually don't get the real stories (the ones of a French farmer's daughter who gets hurt or thrown out of her house or much worse by all the troops passing through, whether it be the British, French, German or American soldiers.

I know this isn't a lot of constructive criticism and more of a rant about wars (sorry), but there isn't much to criticise here.

I really enjoyed the chapters so far. Thanks for writing something so serious.
I'll be back

Love
~Anja

Author's Response: Hey!

Thank you so much for reviewing this! It's so generous of you :)

I hadn't seen anything like it before either, but one day the idea came into my head and it I couldn't get it out! It seems so obvious in hindsight.

I'm so glad you're enjoying it. I was terribly afraid no one would like it because it's so different from what you usually see in fic. It's still surprising to me that everyone has been responding so positively.

Thank you so, so much for the review! I really appreciate it :)

Katie


 Report Review

Review #12, by Queen of Nerds 

16th April 2015:
Yes!
Your Lily is PERFECT! I could never get behind the quiet good girl who let James fight her battles...

Author's Response: LISTEN THIS IS THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT YOU COULD HAVE EVER GIVEN ME THANK YOU SO MUCH.

 Report Review

Review #13, by TidalDragon 

13th March 2015:
Hello again! I'll start by saying I don't think you have anything to worry about with flow or pacing. You've set up a nice block style that transitions very well from scene to scene, even across the boundaries of time, which is impressive. Stylistically, I think it's a great device, especially in light of the title and the overall thrust of the story - that Lily was the next in a family of fighters. I already like how the similarities and differences in their individual circumstances are developing and I can't wait to see how that continues throughout the story.

As far as Lily's characterization, I'd say she's a bit more generally aggressive than in canon, at least as I imagine her. It's not the hexing itself so much as the near hypocrisy. I suppose she can justify it based on the fact that she (sort of) has a reason for it, but given that she reads James the riot act for what he does in Spring 1976, it's hard to imagine her engaging in arguably similar (if less openly mean-spirited) conduct. Perhaps since you indicated that the long game for this story is some James/Lily, that's at play there, but it's just food for thought.

Moving on to Chapter 3!

Author's Response: Hello!

As you said, the thrust of this story is that Lily is next in a family of soldiers, and that is what I'm basing her characterization on. Part of my intention when I started writing this story was to show a harsher interpretation of Lily, one that really puts emphasis on the fact that she fought in a war right out of school and spent her whole life fighting oppression. It was born out of a frustration with seeing these parts of her (which are like, the MOST INTERESTING PARTS), pretty much completely ignored. I imagine she's a bit more aggressive than most people are used to imagining her.

And it's possible that the pendulum swung a bit too far in the other direction.

Thank you very much for your feedback, I'll keep it in mind for future chapters!


 Report Review

Review #14, by TreacleTart 

27th February 2015:
Hello Again!

Here for your requested review!

So first let me gush a bit about how much I like the idea of this story! Your prologue was nice, but this first chapter really pulled me in. You've built the suspense quite nicely. I'm dreading reading about the war progressing, but at the same time I can't wait to see what happens next.

“It started,” her grandfather would begin, “when some bloody fools shot the Archduke of someplace-or-another…” – I loved this line

I also wanted to say that you did a great job at characterizing. Jack really comes off as a boy too young to be at war. He doesn't seem to connect with the reason Paddy is looking after him so carefully and it is quite moving. Lily is strong and assertive, almost exactly as I've imagined her. I really enjoyed how she dealt with Avery.

I have a couple of minor critiques to offer:
When the lieutenant is giving his speech he says "We’re headed north, and we’re going to stop the German progress into France! There’s a town a few kilometers north where we think the Germans are headed next-- we’ll head there and take it before they can" The word head gets repeated a bit and to me it makes the paragraph read funny. I would suggest maybe switching in some different words.

Also, I'm not sure if this was intentional or not, so if it is, disregard my upcoming remarks, but a lot of the dialogue really reads like your characters are American. I know that Lily was a Brit, so I'm making the assumption that her father and grandfather were as well. In Phil's scene, where he has improperly wrapped the wire, it reads particularly American.

Otherwise, I think this story is fantastic so far. I'm looking forward to reading more. I'll be checking back from time to time to see where it goes.

Author's Response: I've been meaning to get to this all day! Sorry! Anyway, I'm glad you find it intriguing and interesting and enjoyable! :)

And I'm really glad you commented on Jack! He's always the one I'm most uncertain of, so I'm very glad he's coming across as he's meant to be. And I'm glad you like Lily too!

Again, I'll reread through the next chapters before posting to try and catch any repetitiveness :) And thanks for pointing out that they sound American! That was certainly not my intention, and I will definitely be paying closer attention to it in the future.

Thank you so much! :)


 Report Review

Review #15, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

27th February 2015:
Hello! I’m back again with your requested review. I’m really excited to find out what happens next.

The ones their father could tell them knowing those memories would not push him over the edge. Eventually, Petunia stopped listening. Lily started to wonder about the stories they didn’t hear.

I’m really enjoying your writing style and how subtle your sentences are. If you’re not reading carefully you’ll miss the hidden little details you include here and there. So I’m going to guess her father suffered from PTSD. I don’t know if it was extreme or not but that’s not as important. I also like the contrast between Petunia and Lily. I believe Petunia would stop listening and Lily would want to know more. She would want to know the gritty things as well and I think that’s what makes her a good fighter. I’m not sure about Petunia though. If she has that much of a fight in her. I think emotionally she does.

I think the time split is great. Oh, I also love your attention to the different time periods and historical accuracies.

“That is absolutely disgusting,” she said, “and completely untrue. It doesn’t make any difference.” She turned to look at Severus. “Does it?”

I felt a pang in my chest when I read this part. Your transitions are on point.

The ending was definitely a contrast from the beginning but I like that we get to see subtle little changes in Lily over time. Her confidence is great and her strong attitude mirrors that of her father. I’m trying to decide who she is more alike, which I know I shouldn’t be doing, but at this moment I think she has her father’s fire but I think she has a part of her grandfather inside of her that I haven’t picked up on yet.

Anywho! Wonderful second chapter! Hope this review was more helpful than the last.

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for stopping by again!

I'm so glad you're picking up on the little things I throw in there :) I do those things very intentionally, so it makes me very happy when people pick up on them!

I'm so glad the transitions are working. They are probably the most difficult part of writing this story, and I stressed about them for ages.

I'm just so glad you're enjoying it! Thank you! :)


 Report Review

Review #16, by Flower n Prongs 

24th February 2015:
I was wondering how you were going to continue to compare the wars and this has proven quite interesting. Cutting from one person to the next doing a similar action (Jack inhaling to Phil exhaling, Phil going down to Lily coming up) has led to a nice flow between the three time periods without it seeming jumpy. The potential to highlight similarities and differences between the two world wars and the wizarding one is really good using this technique.

I like how you have portrayed Lily as somebody who is willing to stand up for herself and who is not afraid of hexing bigots back. I quite liked the confidence in 13-year-old Lily.

I have favourited this and am looking forward to the next update. =)

Author's Response: I'm glad that technique worked out! It took me ages to figure out how I wanted to transition between the three stories, and I was worried that it would be a bit confusing. Good to hear it's working as I intended! That definitely makes it worth all the time I spend trying to figure out how each scene plays into the next :)

Lily is my absolute favorite character basically of all time, so it pains me when people write her as being weak and unwilling to stand up for herself, when that is contradictory to what we know of her from canon. This whole story is definitely my attempt to fix that.

Thank you so much for reviewing! I will have the next chapter in the queue by the end of the week!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review