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21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage 

9th April 2017:
Hiya! Here for CTF #5!

I must say that I loved the fact that you wrote so much of Lily's backstory in it, telling about the wars her family have fought in and the pain and despair and fear and regret that all come with fighting a war, be it because you want to or because you have to. The contrast of the sounds you describe both wars are really well done too and I loved the fact that one was loud and the other more silent but nonetheless as impressive and unforgettable as the other regardless.
The fact that Lily does it because she has to and can't sit just idly by is also a nice thing in comparision to both her father and grandfather and I think it's kind of a good mix between the two and makes me see more familiar bonding and genetics. Maybe that was unintentional, but regardless it's how I feel, so really great job at that.
What makes me most curious about this chapter is how it's gonna continue in later chapters, just because of the way this one was written. But regardless of how it does, I love the way you narrated this, desctibing only and giving no dialogue whatsoever. It really worked well, and gave the exact right atmosphere for the story. I don't think it could've worked as well in any kind of other pov or narrative telling. Well done!

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Review #2, by AbraxanUnicorn 

9th April 2017:
Hello! I'm here for CTF #4. It's not camping out in this story, by any chance? I hope it is; I've had this one on my "to read" list for a little while, but just haven't got around to reading it yet. This might be my lucky day!

What a very sombre start to this story, with the first two chapters detailing the female protagonist's ancestors' struggles in each of their wars. I'm presuming her father fought in World War Two and her grandfather in World War One, going by the descriptions of each. We do not know our protagonist as yet but I'm leaning towards someone from the marauder's era. It would have to be someone magical with a muggle background, so possibly Lily Evans?

Contrasts and comparisons between muggle and magical wars are then made, with our protagonist sure that magical deaths are less drawn out and painful (I'm sure of this too; slow death and disease were rife in both World Wars), but unsure about the fear factor. I don't think anyone could compare the fear of war - it's fighting for your life, however you do it. She'll never know.

I'm intrigued to find out who our protagonist is, and what period she's writing from. I hope the flag is hidden in this story somewhere as I've really enjoyed the first chapter and cannot wait to find out what more you have in store for us. Thank you for a great read.

Brax X

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Review #3, by PaulaTheProkaryote 

14th February 2017:
Hi Katie! I'm here a *ahem* tad late with your winning reviews.

I saw Jily and I just couldnít help myself!

Holy guacamole I find it amazing the way you've written about her grandfather's war. It's completely horrible and violent and icky, don't get me wrong, but you've painted this horrible icky violence in such a poetic way that I almost feel like I'm there when I read it. Like the rats and bugs and blown up body parts are falling around me in slow motion. This is some brilliant imagery.

Youíve won a dobby so I couldnít say you were an underrated author, but I could truthfully sit in your AP all day.

Her war remind me a lot of the cold war despite the fact that there is obviously some very real battles in the form of dueling. Just the sheer contrast to her grandfather's war and the way that she was in a constant state of fear and ready to fight at any given time. Also she's a bit of a bamf. Like the motivation line at the end about how she's fighting this war for herself, for her integrity. That's amazing. So many people focus on the boys and their fight but this is so much better. So much. Sheís so much better and the perspective and the passion that you write this is just everything.

God you have such a good writing voice. Iím honestly just so captivated by all of it.

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Review #4, by cherry_pop94 

13th October 2015:
Hello! Congratulations on your Dobby win!

I've been wanting to read this for ages and I'm so glad I've finally found the time (sort of, it midnight and I should really be asleep).

This was such a great beginning. I'm really captivated by all this. World War I, World War II, the first wizard war. This is shaping up to be a very interesting read. It's clear that you have a great knowledge about the history of the World Wars too.

I cannot wait to read more of this! You are absolutely deserving of the Dobby!

Stefanie

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Review #5, by HeyMrsPotter 

11th September 2015:
HELLO MY DARLING KATIE! A huge congratulations on your Dobby nomination♥

What an incredible opening chapter! Your desriptions are seriously something beautiful. Colour me green with envy. I absolutely adore the comparisons you have between muggle war and wizard war. You really gave me some gruesome pictures in my head describing the trenches. I'm really intrigued as to whose point of view this was from. As far as first chapters go, this is excellent, it's got me completely captivated and dying to read on.

Sorry this isn't a longer review, I've set myself a pretty short time frame to get through the Dobby noms!

Dee♥

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Review #6, by notreallyblonde44 

21st August 2015:
Hello SunshineDaises! And happy birthday! I saw your post in the HPFF forums for birthday review and thought I would drop by. Also, I've seen this story pop up in the queue and the summary intrigued me!

I love how you inserted history into this, giving war a grounded position in time and attaching the Evans' family to each war. Very new dynamic. A history of war and warriors that Lily must live up to and live through.

Your description was tight and direct. It gave the reader a good idea/framework of what the rest of the story will be about: the tough times of war. The horror and fear associated with always being on the defense, never knowing when it could be your time to die.

The saddest part is that we already know Lily's fate. So your prose tugs at our heartstrings because we know she doesn't survive :(

Happy birthday, hope it's lovely!

Until next time,
--Ellie

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad it caught your interest!

I love history and it's so much fun to incorporate it into Lily's story. It definitely does pull at your heartstrings, especially knowing that Lily isn't even the last soldier in the Evans family. At least, it gets me when i think about it too much. :(

I'm glad you enjoyed this! And thanks for the birthday wishes! I did have a lovely day! :)



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Review #7, by BellaLestrange87 

19th August 2015:
As a giant history nerd, I've wanted to read this fic for a long time and I'm glad I finally have time! I've heard a lot of great things about this story and I'm so excited! Warning: all reviews I leave you will contain a lot of fangirling about historical accuracy and history because my focus is twentieth century military history. This story is a dream come true.

I love the little details you put in her about what it was like fighting in the trenches and in the Second World War. They're all historically accurate and it was nice to find details about what the war was like for her family.

I really liked how you compared the three wars: First World War, Second World War, First Wizarding War. Talking about how they were all different linked the three of them together (as well as the three Evans who fought in them).

I noticed a typo:

He spoke most often of the light, the awful, bright flashes of light that always preceded pain, or death, and if not for you, for you comrade, friend, brother. - for your comrade

I'm sorry for this bare-bones review but I really want to move on to the second chapter! Hopefully I'll leave a more in-depth review then!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi! I'm so glad you've made it over!

Thank you so much for your kind words. I do try really, really hard to keep things as historically accurate as possible, so please feel free to point out any mistakes you find!

I'm so glad you like the concept, it's a bit of a weird one, so I'm glad that people find it as interesting as I do!

Thank you for pointing out the typo, I'll make sure to fix that! :)


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Review #8, by alicia and anne 

18th August 2015:
Okay, I have to point out first how much I LOVE that opening line! With so many stories not a lot (if any) thought is given to the previous world wars, and it's never mentioned how the Wizarding world was involved in it. So to have you writing that just makes my day! You've really put so much thought into your descriptions and it's amazing. You really get a feel for the war and what people went through. And it makes you think that her family have been through three wars now, and just how different they all are to each other. Each just as devastating as the last.

The comparisions between each war was done perfectly, and I wish that I could say more in this review, but this first chapter can only be described in that one word.

Perfect!

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for the kind words! I'm glad you're enjoying all the history. I'm always a bit worried that people will find the historical bits boring, so I'm so glad you enjoy it! And I'm super glad you like the descriptions as well! I'm glad they ended up being effective!

Thank you so, so much for this review! :)


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Review #9, by Penelope Inkwell 

16th August 2015:
KATIE!!!

This is so good!

I love this beginning. The way you compare Lily's experience to that of her father and grandfather--that is such a brilliant idea. And you do it with such a...a poetic grit. I don't know how else to describe it. It's really excellent. i was going to try to pull out a favorite quote, but I don't even know what to pick. It's all excellent. This is a really well-constructed prologue.


CC:

There was no artillery, she didnít carry a gun.
--Semicolons are tricky, so I could be wrong, but I think that because these two clauses could each, on their own, be a sentence, they ought to be separated by a semicolon instead of a comma.

Really nice job!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hey Penny!

Thank you so much for stopping by! I'm so glad you've enjoyed it! I think poetic grit is probably the best way to describe what I was going for here, so I'm glad that came across. :)

And thanks for the cc! I've edited that bit.


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Review #10, by manno_malfoy 

13th August 2015:
Hello! I've heard that you've got a bit of a different war story going on, and I thought that sounded interesting.

I liked how this was just a quick introduction with nothing going on, just drawing comparisons between the three different wars. But the thing is, you've done those beautifully. How you've used the descriptions to explain how each suffering was different, but in the end, there was always an element of similarity... And your wording was absolutely amazing while describing each aspect, really building this atmosphere of turmoil and sadness, but also perseverance. I found that mostly prominent in the bits about her grandfather, which sounded artistic, like he'd embellished upon them. And I suppose one could go mad and would never make peace with what they've seen during the war if they don't do that. If that makes any sense.

I especially liked how you've ended the chapter with Lily's stance on the war. It really grounds the chapter and reminds the reader what sort of Lily we're talking about it.

I'm excited to see how you'll draw parallels between the wars as the story progresses as I've never seen something like this done before.

-Manno

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad you came over to check this out!

Thank you so much for your kind words! I did work really hard on the description and comparisons, so I'm so glad it came out well.

thank you so much!


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Review #11, by nott theodore 

8th August 2015:
Hi Katie! I've been meaning to read this story for so long now, because it kept catching my interest when I saw it in the recently added pages, so I'm sorry that it's taken me until now to stop by!

I'm really intrigued by the concept of this story - telling Lily's story but at the same time tying it in with history and wrapping that up with the wars that both her father and grandfather fought in. I absolutely love history and stories that include it, so I'm excited to see how you work the two world wars into the plot; I actually have personal connections to both wars (through my grandparents and great-grandparents) so I find those periods very interesting. I like the way that you've represented them as a family of soldiers, too - though their wars are incredibly different, each of them steps up to fight when they have to, and it's kind of interesting to see that spirit running through the family.

It's actually really sad to think that Lily's father and grandfather both fought in wars that were supposed to give their children and descendants the freedom that was being threatened in their lifetime, and yet, even though the Second World War was meant to be the war to end all wars and since then, most people in Britain haven't had to fight in battle, it's kind of upsetting to think that because Lily was actually a witch she was forced into a war to defend her blood status. And in spite of both her father and grandfather surviving their wars, she didn't - and her son had to go on and fight too. All of those parallels and cycles are kind of sad to think about, although I'm glad that it hopefully ended with Harry.

I have one tiny Brit-pick for you - 'At the drop of a dime' - we would usually say at the drop of a hat or something similar since we don't use dimes. (If you don't want Brit-picks though, just let me know and I'll ignore things like that in the future).

I really liked the way that, even while you drew parallels between the three generations of Lily's family, you still managed to emphasise the differences in their wars and the effects that the wars had on them. I'm looking forward to seeing how you develop the story from here and explore each generation's war!

Sian :)

Author's Response: AH SIAN!

Thank you so much for this wonderful review! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story, and I hope I'm able to do justice to the historical parts.

And I'm grateful for the Brit-picks! Thank you for point it out!


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Review #12, by Liebeliebes 

18th June 2015:
Wow the writing here is amazing. This prologue could almost be a stand alone Drabble but I'm so glad it's nkt

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. This story was actually meant to be a oneshot... Then it kind of took on a life of its own. I'm glad it did too. :)

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Review #13, by teh tarik 

20th May 2015:
Hello Katie!

I've seen your story floating around and I've always been intrigued by the title and now I'm so pleased to finally have the chance to read it! And I must say I LOVE IT. I love this beginning; it's SUCH a wonderfully unique way to write Lily - at least I think it's Lily from this chapter. I love how you've brought in her Muggle father and grandfather! And the respective wars they fought in. Great differentiation between the wars - you really have an eye for detail and your descriptive writing was amazing. I shuddered a bit at the description of Lily's grandfather's experience in the trenches of World War I. Also, I love how you show that Lily is descended from a family of soldiers, and that she too is a fighter herself.

And gah, all those references to sounds and light and flashes - so awful!! :( :(

I must say I loved that last paragraph, and how you differentiated the characters from each other: how her grandfather went to war out of duty, her father out of honour, and she followed in their footsteps on moral grounds. Brilliant! This definitely sounds like Lily!

I know this is a really short chapter, but I must say this is such a promising introduction of Lily! Completely original and very wonderfully written!

More reviews to come as I make my way slowly through the chapters! ♥ Fabulous work, my dear!

-teh

Author's Response: Aaaah, finally responding to your review!

Thank you so much for this. It makes me smile every time!

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this! I was definitely aiming for unique, so it's always nice to hear that it's not just weird. :) The descriptive writing is always sort of a trick for me, and it's so nice to hear you think I'm doing it well! It's an especially kind compliment coming from you. :)

Thank you thank you thank you!


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Review #14, by Your Purple Pygmy Puff 

20th May 2015:
Hello again, my darling Katie.
Oh, wow! What a wonderful start for a story, so emotional and original. You really managed to describe very powerfully the horrors of war (whichever it is) and the differences between the three generations' experiences.

War is really something that a little Pygmy Puff like me can't understand. Thousands of men, often in the heart of youth, sent to kill other men just like them... Obviously I can see why fighting can be necessary, but I still think that you humans can be cruel sometime...

Anyway I loved the details you put in here. The light, the sounds, the fear, the suffering.
As I already said, your writing was so evocative and powerful. It really made me empathize with your characters!

Brilliant work on this, my sweet owner! I'll see you again on the next chapter soon!
Many cuddles to you, my dear friend!
Your Purple Pygmy Puff

Author's Response: I'm so pleased you decided to read this story! It's definitely the one I'm most proud of and I'm always happy to hear that all the work I've put into it has paid off, and that everything I set out to achieve is coming through.

Thank you so much!


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Review #15, by HermyLuna2 

14th May 2015:
The title of this story is great. This is a really original idea that I haven't seen done before. It shows that you have put so much energy in this. Most writers of fanfiction take magic as a given, so I think it is really good that you compared the dark side of a life with magic to the dark side of being an ordinary Muggle. Also, I assume you do not have experience with war either, but correct me if I'm wrong, so I applaud you on tackling such an extremely difficult subject. And you also drew me in very well with your writing style. Stunning first chapter.

Author's Response: Hey Hermy!

Thank you so much for stopping by! I'm glad you're enjoying it and finding it interesting. I do put a ton of energy into this so it's always nice to hear that it's paying off.

I love the idea of comparing muggle to magic. Part of the inspiration for this story was to compare how war evolved in the muggle world, and how vastly different that is from the war we saw in the series. It's really interesting to gather the information as I'm writing to make those comparisons.

I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for the review. See you around the forums!


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Review #16, by marauderfan 

14th April 2015:
Hi! I'm (finally) here with the review you requested aaages ago, and I sincerely apologise for the huge delay.

I'll just start by saying that I skimmed a couple of chapters of this story during the Keckers nominations and read enough to realise that this fic is really good, so I'm glad I have time now to properly read and review it. I love historical fics, especially anything that relates to the second world war, so this fic is definitely my type of story.

As I see it, prologues are meant to be short and sweet, with just enough in them to grab people's interest. I'd say this fits the bill. You've compared the two world wars with the wizarding war, both in means of fighting and in motives, and set up this really interesting inter generational, epic sort of theme where the narrative will span decades. It grabbed my attention for sure!

I like how in your brief descriptions on what the war was like for each individual, you use really specific details, because those always bring a story to life - the contrast between World War I and the first Wizarding War in particular is really well noted, with the mention of the hostile environment of trenches, rats, and amputations, versus the battles in silent neighbourhoods - and how both had bright flashes of light. Great comparison.

One thing I think could improve, though - it seems a bit disjointed and unfocused, because each character mentioned is brought up multiple times with a little snippet about their experience, and then cycles back around to the same character. This almost gave it a repetitive feel. Here's what I would suggest: your ideas are all there, and well thought out, but they could potentially use some re-ordering. For example, you could put all the bits about her grandfather's war together, and then her father's war, and then her own war. I think this will make the ideas you've presented feel much more cohesive.

That said, it's a really interesting start, and I've never seen a fic quite like this before, so I'm really eager to see where it goes. I love it! Great writing :)

Author's Response: Hello! No problem with the delay, life happens!

I'm so glad you've enjoyed this so far! It really is my baby and it makes me SO happy to know that all my hard work is paying off.

Thank you for pointing out the choppiness of this. No one's mentioned it before, but I definitely see it. I will definitely keep your thoughts in mind while editing!

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed this. :)


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Review #17, by Unicorn_Charm 

8th April 2015:
Hi there!! :)

Here for our swap!

Marauders era is my favorite, so I was pretty excited when I came to your author's page. :) This was great. Really, really well done. I loved the way you compared and contrasted, what I am assuming was WWI and WWII with the first Wizarding War. You did such a great job describing what it must have felt like, being on the battle field and never knowing what was to come, or who might die. I could almost see and smell the smoke and gunpowder. Your description was flawless here.

I felt really anxious the entire time I was reading this, too. I felt Lily's fear and worry while the ways a Wizard's War was different was explained. The part about the silence really stuck out to me. It would be completely silent compared to the bombs, shouting and gun fire of a Muggle War. I thought that was a great detail. That and how they do have the flashes of light in common. It just brought the whole prologue to life. Again, your visuals were fantastic.

I'm really anxious to read about the first Wizarding War and will definitely be continuing on with your story. I enjoyed your writing quite a bit. It flows very nicely and makes for an enjoyable read. Thanks so much for doing the swap with me! I'm thrilled that I got a chance to read this, because I can tell already that I'll really enjoy the rest of it! ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hi there!

I'm so glad you decided to stop by this story. It is by far my favorite thing I've ever written and I'm extremely proud of it. It makes me so happy when other people like it.

And this review has made me so massively happy it's sort of ridiculous. I'm just so happy that you liked it and had so many nice things to say about it. I'm sorry I can't respond more coherently!

Thank you so much for reviewing, I hope you enjoy the rest!


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Review #18, by TidalDragon 

13th March 2015:
Howdy! I won't bore you too much with a dreadfully inadequate apology, but just know that I really am sorry. Thus far 2015 has been absolute madness and everything seems to be exploding in mid-March.

Anyway - on to your story! I think this prologue is a very interesting start. I don't think I've read one where it mostly presents the unknown history of a character that we feel like we know and compares and contrasts that character with the history. It's unique. I like it as a device and I like it more that you used strong, evocative language to create the imagery required to really drive it.

I did notice a typo at the beginning - a "you" where you meant a "your" - but no big deal. We're off to an auspicious start and hopefully I'll have real answers for your substantive questions starting next chapter with the substantive story!

I'll repay you the review I owe you by hitting Chapter 3, which I don't think was up when you made your request.

Author's Response: Hello! Don't apologize for being late, life happens. :)

I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! I know it's very different than usually fanfic fare, so I'm always a little afraid people will just think it's weird.

Thank you for the review! :)


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Review #19, by TreacleTart 

27th February 2015:
Hello SunshineDaisies,

I'm here with your requested review!

So this prologue was very intriguing. I have to admit that I was a bit skeptical reading your summary, but you've delved into the topic quite well.

I did find a few little concerns.

When you are talking about her father's war you say "He somehow came back unscathed." No one comes home from war unscathed. Maybe they avoid physical trauma, but often times the mental scaring is far worse. My grandfather was a WW2 vet and suffered horribly from PTSD, which at the time was coined "Shell-shock". My ex-husband was an Iraq War Veteran (2 year long tours in Iraq). He suffered terribly from PTSD, nightmares, flashbacks, etc.

In your closing paragraph you write "Her grandfather went to war to do his duty. His country called on him, and so he went." I just found this to be a bit repetitive. Maybe change the second sentence to "His country called on him, and so he answered."

Overall, I thought you did an excellent job of building this family of warriors. One thing that really struck me was the way you described the reactions to sound and light. My ex could never watch fireworks because they reminded him of mortars being fired. He said that they sound the same and they give off red and green light when they are shot.

Well done! I'm looking forward to reading more!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad you've enjoyed this overall. :)

As for the first concern, I was speaking very literally. Jack comes home with no physical injury. The wording was chosen to provide a bit of foreshadowing and give the reader a very vague idea of what is coming for Jack, and even more vaguely what's coming for Phil. I'm a big fan of subtlety. :) The mental trauma of war is certainly going to be addressed. I'm sorry if that sentence came off as ignorant!

Thank you for pointing out that other sentence! As I'm rereading this I'm finding quite a few places where word choice could be different. I'll keep an eye out for that as I continue to post.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you very much for the review!


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Review #20, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

24th February 2015:
Hello! Deeds here with your requested review. Really intrigued to see what this story is about since your summary doesnít give too much away.

Letís get reviewing!

Her fatherís war was fought with tanks and guns.

Her grandfatherís war was in the trenches.

Her war was unlike anything her forefathers could imagine.


I LOVE HOW YOU OPENED THIS CHAPTER. Also, the proceeding paragraphs. The comparison is thrilling and shocking. Oh, and the first paragraph when you talk about light and how it brought pain in her fatherís war and then obviously the light that Lily has to endure and send out in her own war. Wonderful transition.

Fabulous first chapter. This review is not helpful in the least bit Iím sorry but thereís nothing I can pick out and criticize. From the first sentence to last I was intrigued. I want to know what happens next. Your writing style is wonderful and everything flowed nicely. Really wonderful job and in less than 800 words!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I really put a lot of work into this story so hearing that all the comparisons are coming across they way I want to, and that they all make sense is GREAT news! :)

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Review #21, by Flower n Prongs 

24th February 2015:
This is a very interesting premise. The timing actually does fit well: WWI, WWI, and then the 1st Wizarding War could be fought by three consecutive generations of people. I realize this is just a prologue, but so far it sounds interesting.

I have a history degree and James/Lily is my OTP, so I will be following this in the future. Now, onto the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you! It's probably my favorite concept for a story, and it's definitely the work I've put the most effort into. I'm very proud of it actually, so I'm glad you're enjoying it!

If you happen to catch any glaring historical errors, please let me know! I've done a lot of research on the topic, but it's a bit hard for an american girl to get solid information about British soldiers. I also haven't taken a history class since 2009 so, it's been a while. :)


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