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3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CambAngst 

23rd August 2015:
Hi, pix! One more before I call it a night!

GryCReMo (Review #28)

Not many people can keep two star-crossed love stories going inside the same novel, but you're not just any author. After the last chapter being heavy on what's happening (more what's not happening) between Albus and Wren, you gave Rose and Scorpius a chapter where they both spend some quality time pondering their feelings toward one another. You seem to bring them both to the same epiphany -- that they care -- but you wouldn't be Pix if both epiphanies happened at the same moment. Oh, no. Nothing that simple for you. Instead, they both reach this higher level of understanding in life-threatening situations.

Oh, Rose. You may be a genius, but thinking that understanding your little brother is a good proxy for understanding men in general will never be a conclusion that you look back proudly upon.

Good grief! Can't someone just drive a wooden stake through Sloan's heart and be done with him? Maybe give him a Holy Water facial or stuff garlic bread down his throat? Dude needs to meet a satisfyingly unhappy end, that's all I'm saying.

Gran continues to be completely hardcore in this chapter, and I heartily approve. Wren has been in need of some tough love for... how many chapters does this story have? Pretty much since the beginning, she's needed Gran's no-nonsense guidance to get past all of her doubts and troubles and deal with reality.

And it now seems that everyone is on the same page where reality is concerned. Smeed knows more or less who the rogue vampire is. Wren is over all the denial and has finally admitted that, no, Bunny is not a completely innocent little animal who needs her love and support to survive. Somehow I can't imagine her turning and running the other way when things get really hairy, especially if Rose, Scorpius, Albus or anyone else is in danger. But at least she's going into the conflict with her eyes wide open now.

I didn't feel completely satisfied with the idea of Gran packing up and moving away to someplace in Leeds. This is the woman who rushed to Hogwarts to fight alongside the defenders against the Dark Lord's army. With all of Hogwarts, including her grandson, in danger, it seemed odd to me that she wouldn't be headed there to make sure that things were alright. Maybe we'll see her again before the story is over.

Finally, there's Scorpius. I can't recall whether this is the first scene we've read in his PoV, but it was brilliant. He has an amazing combination of vanity and manliness, captured perfectly in this one line:

Why, he put the man in manicure, if he did say so himself. -- Slow clap.

He really is quiet infatuated with Rose. A guy like that is always going to be smitten with the girl who stands up to him and isn't swept off of her feet by him charm and good looks. He's drawn to the challenge, to a person who makes him work for it. When he rushed to her side, you could feel it all coming to the surface.

I'm not sure whether I'll be back again tomorrow. Work will be busy and I have a meeting after work. But rest assured, I'll be back soon!

Author's Response:

Aww, Dan. You are too kind. No of course I can't let TWO character arcs reach their peak at the same time in a multi-arc story, and I'm pretty sure you aren't suggesting that, right? Because that would be insane. Just as long as you don't throw anything at me when they resolve, I think we'll be fine. Or... or do they have to resolve at all... just kidding. Just kidding. I kid. Really.

This is what happens when I'm stuck in an endless cycle of revising. ONE revision per story. That should be a rule. Err... I think it is somewhere. Maybe I should start following it, or something.

LOL! Rose. She thinks she's smart. And I'll personally hand you the stake for Ian, but only after I'm done with him.

I bet this story would be so different if Gran were in her right mind from the beginning. Probably why I decided against that. Plot. Don't mess with it.

I've had a few comments on the way that Gran left. The only thing I can tell you is that in Wren's eyes, Gran was larger than life, and now Gran isn't so cool anymore. Also, Wren wouldn't be privy to any adult conversations that happened between Gran and Hannah and Neville. Realistically, Gran hasn't included Wren in any of her major decision-making, so it's sort of perpetuating that sad fact.

This is Scorpius' second scene. He wanted more, but I pointed out that we were only going to fulfill the minimum from our contractual agreement that I made all my characters sign after that near-fiasco with Smeed and hs "big ideas".

I would love to say that I came up with that line first about the manicure, and in fact, I did independently think of it, far from the maddening influence of multimedia. HOWEVER, I recently did a Google search on it, and I am sad to say that back in 2011, Forbes Magazine published that very phrase, and now it's all over the place, encouraging men to buff up. Their nails. Because it's a thing. I can't tell you how disappointed I was about that. Anyway, it's probably been used before that because it's a GREAT LINE and I'm not the most brilliant person in the world to have ever thought of it.

Thanks so much for your reviews! And suddenly, I feel like running off and polishing my nails...


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Review #2, by MargaretLane 

6th December 2014:
Sorry for the delay getting around to reading this. I was really busy in November, between Nano, work and I'd an essay due in for this course I'm taking. And then when I finally got some free time towards the end of the month, a load of stories I'm following were updated and this sort of got lost in the list.

Rose is SO like Hermione here, trying to keep everybody on topic and helping everybody else with stuff, but having nobody to help her when she's stuck. Poor Rose.

Hmm, how old is Hugo here? He sounds kind of young, but as this is five years after the events of the epilogue and he must have been at least 5ish then and probably close to Lily's age, since they seemed to be friends, I assume he must be over 10 by now.

Augusta knows what Smeed is? This is getting more and more interesting.

And it's great to see her getting back to herself, after everything she's been through.

There are a few sentences in this chapter which might benefit from greater use of contractions, like writing "stay away from all rabbits until we're sure," instead of "until we are sure." Of course, if you are deliberately establishing a more formal pattern of speech for vampires, that one wouldn't count, but I think I've seen a few examples that weren't in Smeed's dialogue too. Like "it was rumoured that she had died..." I'd be inclined to have written, "it was rumoured she'd died," leaving out the "that" and contracting "she had." Or Augusta saying "I have been resting for months." "I've been resting for months" would sound more natural.

And hmm, Wren is likely to feel further sickness.

Actually, I'm not CERTAIN about this, but would the English be more likely to say "illness"?

I can see why "you won't die" would worry her. It makes it sound like it's a real possibility.

I wonder where Gran is going and why. I hope she's really all right.

It almost brought tears to my eyes when she spoke about the struggle it had been to raise her son and then Neville and how she felt after Frank and Alice died. Poor Augusta.

Hmm, Augusta knows more than she's telling, it seems.

And yeah, her being in Leeds shouldn't make THAT much difference. After all, Wren is only living with her parents maybe three months of the year, anyway and with things like Floo Powder and Apparition, she can probably be with them at a moment's notice. I daresay she'd have her home connected to her son's via the Floo network.

But I understand why Wren feels bad. She's been through so many changes, moving house, her grandparents' deaths, the whole thing with Dillon and the bunny, that one more probably feels like more than she can handle.

Love the reference to the House Elves now having free will.

Oh gosh, I hope Rose is OK. I wasn't expecting it to end like that. I assumed she'd just turn out like the others who've been affected.

Author's Response:
No problem with the delay. I understand delays very well. In fact, there was a delay to getting this response out, so...

Hugo is only a few years younger than Rose. Maybe she just thinks about him as younger than he really is. That sometimes happens with overbearing older siblings.

I loved seeing Gran get closer to her old self again too. she's lived a long time, and she knows a great deal more than most people would think. You're correct about Leeds not being too different than anywhere else, but you are also reading Wren correctly too. Change is not her friend right now. She's not handling the current situation very well, and to have other things pile on top of it doesn't help.

Yay for House Elf reforms! I had to throw that in there somewhere.

Surprise? I guess unexpected chapter endings are a good thing. :)

Thanks so much for another lovely review!

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Review #3, by BellatrixLover3 

4th November 2014:
OMG! Is Rose a vampire now? I loved the chapter! I updated a lot of my stories if you want to check them out!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

Poor Rose...

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