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12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Penelope Inkwell 

17th April 2016:
Man, this chapter is short, but dramatic! Bedlam is a good word for it. You just feel everyone's panic and fear and churning emotions, especially Rose and Scorpius. I mean, he's onscreen relatively little for this, but in that moment you just feel how terrified he's been, how much this hurts, so deeply, you know? I can completely understand why Rose isn't ready to deal with him, even though it makes me sad that she pushes him away. You do a great job of justifying all the characters, of getting us into their heads and understanding where they're all coming from.

CC:
I donít regularly visit their house
--this was shift in tense that seemed a bit odd, since the rest is all in past. Seems like it should be "didn't regularly visit".

some semblance of the normal life of a twenty year old.
--Didn't Rose just say earlier--maybe last chapter that her 21st birthday had passed?

Those were the only things I noticed. Wonderful as always! This chapter goes quickly, but it sets us up nicely for what I imagine is a lot of craziness to come. I absolutely have to read on and find out how all this goes down!

Did I mention how glad I am to be reading this fic again? I am SO glad!

--Penny

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Review #2, by MrsJaydeMalfoy 

21st September 2015:
I realy don't like that everyone is fighting... but... ANOTHER PROPHECY? *Scurries off to next chapter*

THIS STORY IS SO ADDICTING!

Author's Response: Haha - the idea for the prophecy was one of the main things I wanted in this story and I felt bad that it took me so many chapters to get to it. I can't wait to see what you think of it!

♥ Beth


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Review #3, by Tonks1247 

13th August 2015:
Heya Beth!

I have some spare time and so Iím thinking about reviewing a couple more chapters in an attempt to catch myself up to where Iíve read. Weíll see how many I can manage tonight before I need a break. And Iím including this in BvB. So. Here we go! :D

Öyou know, for having read this chapter already, youíd figure Iíd be more prepared for cliff hanger. Youíd figure they wouldnít be so frustrating if Iíd already known they were coming and knew what was coming next. Yet I sit here in suspense, waiting to go onto the next chapter. Itís so not cool, but such a cool tool in writing. Like, you really have a knack for cliff hangers. And Iím happy to see them (as much as I hate them.).

Onto the stuff before the cliff hanger-ish ending. I was right and Rose did go to Harry. Which I shockingly knew going through this the first time. Like, I guess I remember a bunch of random and miscellaneous facts about Rose and her mannerisms and stuff because I knew Harry would be her first place to go, and honestly it only made sense that she wouldnít go out on her own somewhere. Sheís not completely ridiculous about that.

But I do like the drama youíve got going on otherwise. With Selenia on Roseís side and rejecting Albus. And everyone yelling at one another. Itís a good dynamic and youíve made me feel overwhelmed and anxious at the situation, which is really good cause Iím sure thatís how I would feel if I were there. It also is no surprise that Harry is the peacemaker of the situation, as he always seems to have to be. Iím looking forward the discussion thatís to come as wellÖ

And I know that was a complete mess of a review. But this was a lovely chapter, albeit short, and I really enjoyed the cliff hanger and all. It was really fantastic. And I hope my next couple reviews arenít as messyÖ

Anddd favourite line from Rose this chapter:

At least heís not stupid.

Great job!
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Mikaela!

I don't know how I'm ever going to thank you for all these awesome reviews. It's not like you simply leave a few lines for each chapter. These are so awesome and in depth and I LOVE it when you tell my your favorite lines - hee hee.

Gah! I feel like you know Rose so, SO well. She isn't crazy and impulsive like some of her family, but in this chapter she was at her wits' end and needed a break from her "imprisonment." I wanted to show that she was growing and was finally able to stand up for herself - a little bit. We see more of this in the next couple of chapters.

As for the cliffhanger. I actually didn't intend to write so many of them into my story. Actually, I wrote the whole story straight through (at least until about the current posted chapter), but I didn't put ANY chapters or divisions into it, except when the POV changed between Rose and Scorpius. When I began posting it, I had the first few chapters broken up, but it wasn't until about Chapter 9 that I had to go through and figure out what constituted a good break for each section. I still don't know if I've got it right, but I went with my gut for the most part.

Haha - this review was entirely lovely, thanks so much for it - and ALL of the reviews you've been giving me.

♥ Beth


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Review #4, by crestwood 

12th June 2015:
I really respect Scorpius' resolve to tell the full truth to Hermione about Rose's disappearance. And yeah - of course she went to Harry's house. Their bond really is particularly special.

I don't think that she would be in trouble for going to Harry's. I do think that she could have explained to everyone where she was going so that they wouldn't worry--but she was mad at the time.

Your version of Harry is always the voice of reason. I just absolutely love him.

You managed to write an entire room full of arguing people in a way that was easy enough to follow along with and I have NO CLUE how. That is the most difficult thing ever and I almost didn't notice how seamless this was because you pulled it off so well. Amazing work once again.

Slytherin - House Cup 2015 Review

Author's Response: Joey!

I feel like such a jerk taking so long to respond to all these amazing reviews you left me, but I'm working through them.

Yeah, Rose wasn't exactly action with her usual reasonable senses for this one, but she is finally standing up for herself and I think that was the main message here.

Yay! My head canon for Harry is that he became rather "Dumbledore-esque" in his later years. After the war, he really saw so much of the damage and pain that fighting caused and although he made sure all of the Death Eaters paid for their crimes, he didn't want to seek out a new fight. You can't be so hot-headed forever!

Gah! The room full of arguers was *tough* to write and I'm so, so happy it worked out!

Thanks so much Joey!

♥ Beth


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Review #5, by merlins beard 

6th May 2015:
Can I make a suggestion?

How about you put something like this in the summary:
"Put your helmets on and fasten your seatbelts. This is going to be one hell of a ride!"

I feel like I need a seatbelt. This is the wildest rollercoaster ride I've been on yet.

I thought I was finally going to get answers in this chapter, but then - i didn't. :(

I think Rose really deserves to know. They should have all been told much much sooner. It's funny to see all the weasley (and potter and not quite potter) women stick together and how they each have their own way of letting their significant other know exactly how pissed off they are.

I'm glad Harry finally gets the guts to tell Rose what's happening.

I'll just go to the next chapter now because the suspense is just a really awful feeling right now.

Oh, yeah, i wanted to say I'm SO GLAD she went to Ginny. It could have been SO MUCH WORSE!

~Anja

Author's Response: Haha! I just went back to quickly skim the chapter because I thought that I'd revealed a bit more - but I think you're right - perhaps a warning is in order :)

Yeah - you're right, Rose *should* be told. Her family (Harry, included) are not treating her like an adult. They are being over protective and she is right to lose her temper here.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #6, by LightLeviosa5443 

17th November 2014:
This chapter has so much emotion and it's so great. I love how I can feel it with every sentence I read and it's believable and well-done. I feel like I'm watching this in my head, not reading it!

I can't imagine what it's like for Scorpius to have to go to Ron and Hermione's not even sure if their daughter is there. Especially since part of why she left is that she was mad at him. Well, everyone, but he is part of everyone. I'm glad that nobody overreacted, though my heart dropped a little for Hermione. Poor thing. Poor Scorpius. I just want to hug everyone, right now.

HAH I CALLED IT IT WAS GINNY. I'm so glad that Ron knew. I like that he knew his daughter enough to know where she would go. You handled that scene really well and it was nice to see the sort of camaraderie between Ron and Scorpius. Even the fact that at the beginning Scorpius wanted to be delicate with the matter because of how he had begun a sort of neutrality with Ron.

I want to just hug Rose. I love how understanding Harry and Ginny are. I wish I had some Harry and Ginny's in my life. Well, you're kind of like Ginny for me ♥ so that works out! I love how Rose just sits on the couch and is mad. There's no shaking her mad. I think the whole thing works so well with the dynamic you have going. Scorpius is unsure and mad at himself, Albus is just mad. Ginny and Hermione and Selenia are protective. Rose is mad, others are confused. They all interact and build with each other and that bombshell you dropped at the end is just perfect.

Like you ended this chapter so marvelously.

I'm sorry that this review was so non-sensical.
It was an incredible chapter.

xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: Sarah! I'm tearing up! You can't say things like "I'm your Ginny" and not expect me to tear up!!!

Ok. This review was just so awesome and wonderful.

Yeah, Scorpius had to put his Big-Boy pants on for this one. His concern for Rose will always win out over his trepidation of Ron. I don't think Ron is ready to walk Rose down the aisle toward a Malfoy or anything, but I think they have started on some more solid ground here.

Ron *does* know his daughter. Even though he doesn't always know how best to handle her, he knows Rose and also realizes her relationship with her godparents.

I'm so glad that the story played out clearly. It is tough to manage all of the characters, both for this chapter and the next. I even played around with the idea that the three mentees would also be summoned to help (Caesar, Colleen and Kali), but there was NO WAY I could add more people to this scene - haha!

Yee! The cliffhanger worked. The original version had both of these chapters as one and it was just too much until it finally hit me - I need to end with the bombshell.

So, so happy you like this story. There's so much more to come (you already know more than half of it!)

Thanks again sweetie!

♥ Beth


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Review #7, by Paddlewaddle 

27th October 2014:
I feel a little embarrassed to be thanked - I should be thanking you for giving us such a wonderful story. Exam period is soon so the distraction is very welcome and I'm sorry for reviewing so late!

So Rose actually floo-ed to Harry's house. I totally did not think of that either considering how close she and Harry are as well - Rose must feel a it betrayed and hurt that things are being kept from her and Harry is in such a difficult position trying to treat this case as any other while sticking to protocol. I feel for the boys, I really do because they are torn between duty/loyalty to their job and keeping Rose safe, and their families. I'm saddened to see Albus and Selenia's relationship brought to a grinding halt and I hope there are no lasting repercussions for them cause they are the cutest couple here even though we only hear from them in a third person view. And a new prophecy? double bombshell oh my gawd D:

I can't wait to see the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hey there!

Sorry for the late response. Aww, you're too cute, but I wanted you to know that I look forward to each of your reviews - it is so exciting to hear that someone is enjoying my story!

Yeah - Rose went to Harry's. She feels a bit closer to him than Ron and I think doesn't feel like she is running to "Mummy and Daddy" but can still get away. Besides, Harry is a bit more understanding than Ron.

It really is a sticky situation, but Rose should be treated like an adult - she has the right to make her own decisions. As for Al and Selenia - well... they have a little bit to work through (and I agree, they are TOTALLY adorable :))

More about the prophecy in the next chapter.

Thanks again for ALL your reviews!

♥ Beth


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Review #8, by diversrock 

26th October 2014:
Looking forward to the rest! Loving it so far...

Author's Response: Thanks!

It was awesome to log in and see this review! The next chapter is going into the queue this week! Let me know what you think!

♥ Beth


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Review #9, by MargaretLane 

16th October 2014:
O.K., I'm finally getting around to this. Have gone to read SO many times.

You are really good at making it clear whose point of view you're writing from. It's hard switching between points of view in first person, but you do it really well. I only just noticed that now, which is a good sign, as it means I haven't been confused.

And you are STILL keeping us in suspense as to where Rose is, except that she's not with her parents. Oooh, ominous. At least she seems to be with somebody sympathetic, which is a good sign, but whether it's somewhere she'd be safe if attacked is still in question.

Harry's is good. If any home is likely to be protected, it's his.

One thing I've noticed here is that there are a few places where contractions might be useful. I think it'd be more natural for Harry to say, "does anybody know you're here?" than "does anybody know you are here?" for example. And even more so, when Al says "you are being completely unreasonable." I'm being very nit-picky here, but the "are" sort of slows down the sentence and makes him sound less irritated than he might otherwise.

Yi-i-ikes, that is the very LAST thing I expected. I think I pretty much had it in my head that the villain (I can NEVER remember how to spell his name) was working from revenge in some way or another. I kind of assumed he had something against Harry, Ron or Hermione and was punishing them by harming somebody they loved. I thought maybe he blamed one of them for the death or imprisonment of somebody he cared about - a parent, maybe - and was punishing them by imprisoning somebody they loved. I only considered that a possibility, but at any rate, I assumed it had something to do with revenge on them or at least was connected to the past, not to a prophecy.

And now I can't wait to hear what the prophecy is about. I'm guessing Rose is destined to something and the villain wants to prevent her from doing it.

I find it interesting how differently next gen. characters can be portrayed. Al's need to play the hero here is so much in contrast to my Albus's desire for a quiet life. Though, of course, my Al is much younger, but I don't think he'd ever react quite like that. The other way around - Rose needing to act the hero for Albus would be way more likely.

Author's Response: Hi MargaretLane,

Aww, thanks so much for this and ALL your reviews. It really lifts my sprirts when I see them ♥

I cannot tell you how relieved I am that you mentioned my POV. That is something that I really worry about. Actually, I tried really, really hard to write this story solely from Rose's POV, but I needed too much from Scorpius's perspective, that I had to go back and re-do several chapters.

Harry was Rose's obvious choice. Although her real intentions were to beg him to lift the restrictions. She was just trying to convince herself that running away wasn't so bad.

Yikes - I've made a concerted effort to improve my contractions, mainly because of your wonderful feedback. But you're right (see what I did there?) both of those places would sound better with the contractions.

Haha - the villain is Stannous (the Latin name for tin - from the Periodic Table). Ooo - I'm so glad I caught you off guard with the prophecy. Expect more next chapter. Much, MUCH more - (insert evil laugh).

Good guess, but... keep guessing!

I totally know what you mean about next gen characters! This site has opened up SO many avenues as to how the next gen plays out - it really blows my mind to see the variations of romantic pairings and character traits. I agree with your fic - Rose is definitely the dominant of that relationship.

Thanks again!

Beth


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Review #10, by CambAngst 

15th October 2014:
Hi, Beth! I'm afraid I couldn't be the first reviewer this time, but top 3 isn't so bad. ;)

First off, I'm going to allow myself a small pat on the back for guessing right about Rose's destination. **pat, pat** I'm also going to breathe a small sigh of relief that it wasn't someplace like Stannous's oceanside condo. I don't think I could have handled that revelation.

I see it didn't take Hermione long at all to piece things together from Scorpius's question. Interesting that Ron was the one to make the connection and figure out where Rose went. It makes an odd kind of sense. Ron obviously has a lot of experience dealing with the women in his family.

"I really need to see if she's all right," I didn't even try to hide the tears brewing in my eyes. "If she wants me to leave, I will, but I... have to see for myself." -- The boy is head over heels, isn't he? At the moment it's debatable whether he's deeper in love or in trouble, but I'm guessing that love will soon win out.

If you have to flee your own personal Azkaban, wouldn't it be best to go to the Head Auror's house? -- Well, best and also safest. Even when she's being irrational to a fault, Rose seems to make good choices. She's solid like that.

I know I've given you a spot of grief about Harry in some of your earlier chapters, but in this one I thought he was pitch perfect. He's fatherly, but not to the extent where it feels smothering. I'm confident Ron would have smothered Rose. Harry seems no less caring, but he's also understanding. He's ready to be forthcoming with her, even though he knows that what he's going to reveal will be difficult for Rose. It's plain that he doesn't love her any less, but he's treating her like an adult. Honestly, the Weasley family could use more of that.

Looks of relief poured over my friends and family, but I was still too angry to even acknowledge them. -- Yep, she's a Weasley.

From there on out, the conversation degrades into a melee. I loved the way you wrote the different sides of the argument. I do sort of wish that you hadn't written it as such a clean-cut male-female disagreement (Dominique aside), but I could see how the points of view were lining up. Ginny seemed ready to take on everyone (Ron, Albus and to a lesser extent Harry) on Rose's behalf.

Mum was yelling at Dad, Dad was yelling at Aunt Ginny, who was yelling at Al. Selenia was trying to catch her breath. Dom was arguing with Fred and James, who were getting more demanding by the second. Jax was trying to calm down his girlfriend. -- Marvelous. It's a full-blown Weasley family throwdown. The hexes were definitely about to fly before Harry intervened.

Ooh, another cliff-hanger. Something is definitely up. So, if I'm right about Stannous being tied into the Lestranges somehow, I'm bubbling over with speculation about what this prophecy is going to say. I'm guessing there will be some parallel drawn between the mother and the daughter. Perhaps Rose is the one destined to rid the world of the scourge of the Lestranges? My mind is spinning at an alarming rate here.

No typos in this chapter! Excellent job. Can't wait for the next one!

Author's Response: Hey Dan!

Yes. You get a pat on the back for that. Nice job (totally not patronizing you or anything - haha). I seriously can NOT read your reviews while at work, because outbursts of laughter are too hard to explain, especially when I'm blurting out words like "oceanside condo..."

Yeah, Hermione is a quick one - and Ron. Well, I'm not exactly one of those writers who has an entire vault dedicated to each character's motivation and back story - unless you count all of the thoughts that bounce around in my head.. BUT in my version of events, Ron is well, not very good with fully understanding his daughter, or effectively portraying his emotions to her. I think it's because he just wants to protect her so much, his first inclination is to conjure a giant bubble around her and follow behind it forever. That being said, he KNOWS that Harry will always have Rose's best interest and so understands that she feels less oppressed by him. However, that doesn't mean he's not going to stand up to Harry, should the occasion arise...

As for Scorpius, he's just a lost soul at this point. He *can't* have anything happen to Rose. It puts a bit of a blinder on him.

Rose's reason for going to Harry's house was more to plead her case, than a carefully thought out plan. She's just justifying it to herself.

*Exhales giant sigh of relief* You approve of Harry! It's easy for him to be a bit more understanding, as Rose isn't his daughter and he *does* love her so much, but is at least willing to see the big picture. I think Harry knows that Rose could, being of legal age, choose to say - "Forget all of this" (trying to keep this 12+) "I'm gonna take off on my own - see-ya!"

I'm glad the giant all-around argument came off alright. That was not easy to write. I actually completely forgot a character and had to go back and put in some more actions/dialogue to compensate. I wasn't really intending to make it sound like it was men vs. women, it just seemed that way to Rose. I should look at that part again.

So... about Stannous. You're right, but not right. I know that makes no sense. BUT much will be revealed in the next chapter and I hope, hope, *hope* that you will be less disappointed and more surprised and shouting at the computer screen, or whatever. ♥

Thanks again Dan, for everything!

Beth


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Review #11, by Dianainga 

14th October 2014:
Oh...this is getting GREAT! I cannot wait for the next chapter. I really love the relationships shown in this argument...Ginny and Ron.Al and Selena...Dom and everyone. And, my heart goes out to Scorpius. Love this story!

Author's Response: Hey there!

So glad to see you back ♥ Sorry it took me so long to get to this, but I wanted to say how much I appreciate the review. The next chapter is going to be a biggie!

Thanks! Beth


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Review #12, by k1187700 

14th October 2014:
Yay! Another chapter up! God this one really showed how much tension was up in the air huh?

So we're finally going to find out what the big mystery is? Or is Harry only going to tell a half truth so as not to scare everyone? I need to know how Rose and Scorpius react to this, him knowing the entire time and keeping it from her even though it was about her! (But maybe it would just be me who'd be mad, I really hate being left in the dark about important things)
And Al and Selinia? I like it I won't lie, Selenia having a backbone on this front.

I don't know why but I've had this feeling that this story is going to mirror a tv show I found called the following (just a little, obviously its very different in content) but in the following it's about this huge cult, that's been going on for so long people have become sherifs in towns and made good friends with the main guy and then betray him. There are actually very little parallels between these stories but I keep thinking any moment now some of the kind of side characters (like James' girlfriend and Astinine) are going to turn out to be working for the bad guy the whole time.

Also, I wanted to say that I was touched that you replied to my review and remembered that I had reviewed your story earlier on. That was very kind of you.

And by the way congratulations on winning an award! You deserve it! This story is excellent!

Author's Response: Hey there,

Wow - you are FAST - this chapter just went up about an hour before your review. ♥

I was really worried about writing the scene with all the tension, I'm so glad it came off alright. The prophecy is the crux of the mystery and no, you won't have to wait long to find out the specifics :)

Ooo - The Following - I've watched a few episodes and it is really good. (Although I started writing this about a year before I saw any of that), but I know what you mean about the cult - I don't wanna say to much, but it isn't exactly like that, however I can see some parallels! All I can say now is WOW - I'm so glad you're into this story.

Thanks - I was so, so, so excited about the Dobby Award.

I reply to all my reviews - and I'm trying harder to get to them sooner.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth



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