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3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CambAngst 

23rd August 2015:
Hi, Pix! I am going to try to get completely caught up before this month is over. The reading isn't the hard part, it's getting it all down in a review. I will persevere, however.

GryCReMo (Review #26)

Itís only veins. -- Oh, Wren. Remember that talk we had about rivers in Egypt?

Momentary issues aside, I feel like Wren made some major progress with figuring out what's actually going on in this chapter. With the help of her friend Nate, she finally put two and two together and made the connection between vampires, thrawls and rabbits. She seems pretty close to working Dillon into the equation, as well.

OK, so compared to Rose and Scorpius, maybe Wren and Albus's relationship isn't progressing quite so badly. At least Wren and Albus aren't making plans to actively avoid one another. For the entire story so far, it's felt like Albus's courage to approach Wren and Wren's desire to approach Albus have been 180 degrees out of phase with one another. Apologies for the geeky physics analogy, but that's the best way I can come up with to describe it. In this chapter, it feels like they're starting to get in sync with one another. But... Albus's courage cycle doesn't peak quite soon enough. And he ends up asking for a study buddy instead of a girlfriend. Come on, boy, get it together!

Ha! Seems like McGonagall lit a fire underneath Summers's rear end. At least he's making an effort to look like he's teaching.

Ooh! The Book Club boys are creepy. Dillon has some muscle inside the castle. Can it be long before he starts saying things like, "My father will hear of this!"

And... Nate scoops Albus. Not for a date, per se, but I think I read that this is how John and Yoko started out. And the next thing you know, they were making horrible albums with two naked people on the cover. Let's hope that Wren comes to her senses well before that point.

Ha! The Burns and Smeed iPad scene! I remember this from beta reading. It was one of my favorite scenes in the entire story. Looks like Wren isn't the only one who's starting to make some connections. Smeed now knows that he's looking for a vampire with magic or perhaps a wizard who's been turned. Either way, I think the only missing piece for him is that he'd be hard-pressed to imagine that a little boy was causing all of this. I love the idea of grabbing a random bat, enthralling it and then using it for post. Genius!

Creepy little Dillon. At long last, he's arrived at Hogwarts. It's a good thing that the magical protections are keeping him out, at least for now. But it appears that James will cause worse problems than stolen maps and changed Hogsmeade schedules in this story.

Great chapter! Back soon.

Author's Response:

Chapter 21.

Yep. Here we are. Wren's not skinny dipping in exotic waters, she's just... umm... well. Okay. There might be a slight problem here.

"OK, so compared to Rose and Scorpius, maybe Wren and Albus's relationship isn't progressing quite so badly."

Snerk. Way to look on the bright side of things, Dan. Have you been peeking at my story arc charts again? Aparently not. Stop rushing Albus. There are Thiry-One chapters for him to get it together. He's taking his own sweet time.

Yes, yes, it's all about appearances for Summers. Raise your eyebrows, scribble a little with the chalk, give menacing looks to the back of the room when you hear a suspicious noise, and for goodness sake keep your eyes open until the bell rings! No award-winning lesson plans or anything, but at least he's going through the motions.

ROFL! More like, "Do you wanna build a snowman?" and then fifty creepy rabbit-mind-meld kids rush out to the forest and roll up a white-washed army. Ooohhh, creepy one-shot just jumped into my head.

Wait. WHAT?? Wren is NOT going to... you know what? Just, never mind. I'm leaving that alone. That made me laugh for well over an hour. I still laugh about it and get funny looks from strangers. Be very proud of yourself. Actually, after a Google search, it was something about an invisible hammer... which could also be an interesting one-shot... without the naked people.

Random bat thralls. It seemed like the thing to do at the time. I had several incarnations of that over these last two years. They all seemed to disappear with each revision until this one stuck. Sometimes, you've just got to make room in a story for stuff like that.

Thanks for another very entertaining review!


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Review #2, by MargaretLane 

11th October 2014:
That part about him lapping up blood is a bit creepy.

Hmm, I wonder how Dillon is continuing to access her mind and how this'll end.

Shouldn't "timetables" be one word? I was reading it as "times tables" and thinking, "but they don't learn Maths at Hogwarts."

Like the reference to the book club. Young witches and wizards really need more options for leisure. All there seems to be is Quidditch, wizard chess and gobstones. And the wireless, I guess. But they have no TVs, no computers, only one sport, only leave Hogwarts maybe once a month and then only to go shopping or to the pub - no concerts or discos or dances. They don't even seem to have all that much fiction, although that may be because Hermion, Ron and Harry don't really seem the types to be into fiction, Ron and Harry because they aren't that into reading and Hermione seems to prefer factual stuff.

Smeed and Burns intrigue me.

And Ah, they seem to have summed a little bit up about what's going on. The rabbits being enthralled explains a certain amount and I'm guessing Dillon had a magical parent.

Dillon is back. *grins* He rather interests me. I like him as a character. The fact that he's pretty much the villain and yet in some ways, he gains my sympathy, makes him very interesting.

Hmm, I wonder who he is expecting to come out and greet him. It sounds like it's Summers and Pince.

Oooh, the ending is creepy.

And I wonder why his mother told him not to enthrall people directly.

Author's Response:

Hi again!

Sorry for the delayed response, but you know the drill. Anyway, I'm still here and I love that you are continuing to let me know your thoughts on these chapters.

Well yes, the lapping of blood was supposed to be creepy. The story mechanics sort of ran away from me with this one. That'll teach me not to make them so complicated next time... I hope. :P

I should fix that word. Thanks for the catch!

I agree with you on the leisure activities. I bet you and I could brainstorm a whole list of things that these kids can do with their extracurricular time at Hogwarts. I love stories that expand on that. There are so many possibilities!

Smeed and Burns intrigue me too. LOL!

I often ask myself why it's easier for me to write the creepy, dark characters than anything else. Then I try to forget that I ever asked, because maybe I don't want to know the answer to that. Ah well. Maybe my next story will be all about creepy and dark and I can go explore that for a bit.

Thanks for another thoughtful review! I really am grateful that you keep reading, even after the challenge is over.

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Review #3, by BellatrixLover3 

10th October 2014:
Great chapter as always

Author's Response:

Thanks for coming back and reading more!


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