14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore 

18th April 2017:
CTF Review

Hi again, Chiara! Still on the hunt for that well-hidden flag!

I'm really glad that I got to read this story and get some of the context to the one-shot which I read about the sorting ceremony for these four characters. I have to say, I really love the idea behind this one-shot, and I think you're great at thinking up missing moments and original and creative scenes that make for a really thought-provoking story.

It was so interesting to see that Snape was the first person on the platform after all this time! I'm not the biggest fan of his character (perhaps you know that already) but it does make me wonder if there's a part of him that wants to still be friends with the others, despite everything that he's done and all that's happened between them. It was lovely to imagine they could have all had this moment of reprieve from the war.

Again, I loved the scenes when they were children, on the train to Hogwarts for the first time and so excited and nervous. You capture that youthfulness really well, and the naivety of thinking they'll all be friends by the end of it - I love the fact that they all carried out their plan, though!

I think my favourite part had to be the final scene, when it was seven years later again and Snape was now teaching at Hogwarts, and only two of them were alive. It shows how much can change in what is a relatively short period of time, and it was really powerful and effective.

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi again, my dear Sian! *hug*

I'm glad you stopped by here as well and that it helped giving In Between some context.

I'm not Snape's biggest fan, either, but he is such a tragic and lonely character and I do feel sorry for him. I really loved the idea of him having friends out of the future Death Eaters (apart from Lily, I mean) and my idea behind this is that they truly cared for each other, despite growing distant and having conflicts during their Hogwarts' years (I really need to get back to In Between...) So, yeah, Snape would really want to stay friend with them.

As I think I've already told you more than once, I love writing children! :) I'm so glad you loved that part! And yes, they didn’t carry on with the plan, although it started as a childish fantasy. :)

The last scene is so bittersweet... I'm glad you liked it! Yes, a lot has changed, but at least Severus and Emmeline still have each other.

Thank you so much for the lovely review!

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Review #2, by victoria_anne 

21st March 2017:
Hi little Chi!

Look, look! Something you've written that I haven't read before! :O

Boys in their compartment being nasty, hm? Wonder who that could be? :P

It's lovely to see Severus and Lily hanging out with two new characters - usually you never see them without the Marauders, so this is very refreshing :)

This is so bittersweet! I love that they had that tradition, and it's so interesting to see how their lives changed over the years, and the separate paths they took. And of course, the last one is very sad indeed, that only half of them still live :(

For the Chalice Review Spree

Author's Response: Shake-what? You hadn't read this before? Siriusly? Well, that's actually a good thing for me because it means I get another review from you this morning! ;)

Ahahah! I have no idea who those nasty kids might be... :P

Glad you liked this new little quartet. :) This actually reminds me that I need to get back to In Between... WIPs can be such a pain...

I know, this is very bittersweet... At least Severus and Emmeline still have each other (at least for a bit)

Thank you for another lovely review!

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Review #3, by adluvshp 

17th May 2016:
Chiara! Hey! I have been a little swamped with exams stuff so I couldn't do more reviews for the site hot seat, but I had to do at least one, and this story immediately caught my eye, and I'm so glad I read it! It kind of made me tear up!

I absolutely love the idea of Severus, Lily, Edgar and Em deciding to meet again seven years later when they're eleven, and then meeting once again another seven years later. Despite how things changed, it was nice that they all still stuck to their word. The contrast between their eleven year old selves to their seventeen year old selves, and later (for Snape and Em) to their twenty-four year old selves was palpable. I was so sad in the end when they wished for the other two to be there. The beginning bits to show the foundation of their friendships, tied in with the division of their houses was nicely done.

Your descriptions were beautiful throughout and I was really hooked to the one-shot from the beginning to the end. I think you did a great job portraying all the characters, especially snape. I also liked the two new ones - Edgar and Em - a lot. Your dialogue was well-written and overall this flowed smoothly! Great job!

(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Angie!!! *hug* *wub*
Aww, no worries, hon! So glad you managed to stop by at all!!! :D

I'm so glad you enjoyed the idea for the story. They changed a lot during those fourteen years, but their friendship survived time, differences and divisions. It's a bit naive, maybe, but I loved the concept! :)

So glad you liked the descriptions, because I tend to struggle with them... and that the characters were well done, too!

Thank you so much for the awesome review!!!
With love,

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Review #4, by princesslily_36 

5th March 2016:
For the HPFF's Review-a-thon

My lovely beta/betee Chiaraa!!

I wanted to check out this story ever since I read chapter 1 of in between, and what better day to do it than the Review-a-thon weekend?

I have to mention how I absolutely loved that you put Lily talking about wanting to go to Slytherin - most people don't include that anectode - but that's totally my headcanon too, after all Snape is her only source for such information! And look at Sev, sticking up for Lily... goes to show how things changed because of the company he got into.

Severus being the first one there? I'd have put my bets on Edgar for punctuality, or Lily for sentiment :D

I must say it was weird reading about an agreeable Snape, but in all fairness the Snape we have been subject to has been through Harry's eyes, and lets face it, Harry has more than one reason to be biased in his perception.

Gryffindors are too rowdy - Lol! Careful there hon, James Charming Potter and Sirius Handsome Black are so much more sexier for being Gryffindors ;) [not to mention your (did I say your? I meant our *wink*) Remus Delicious Lupin]

Ahh.. the second seven years later (or should I say fourteen years later) was so much sadder. I mean the first time around, they actually set aside all their differences (even Lily seemed to have momentarily forgotten she wasn't talking to Snape), but this time it has been after a tragedy. Funny how one decision tears everything apart. It was good that Emmelence Vance chose to forgive him after losing both Edgar and Lily to the movement that HE supported. I guess his repentance played an important role.

Now that I've read this, I can't wait to see more of in between!

Loads of love and hugs,
Your eternal beta/betee!

Author's Response: YSH!!!
My super lovely beta/betee!!!
So glad to have you here, hon!!!

I always thought that Lily would want to be a Slytherin, since Severus told her that he was hoping she would. Like you say, he was her only source of information, and she would trust his judgement if he said Slytherin was the best house.

And yes, Severus would stick up for her. A pity it won't last...

Ahahah! What can I say? I just have this idea that Sev would be the sort of person who would arrive at an appointment well ahead. The opposite of me, who am always late... :P

We never see Snape with friends. We know that he hates Harry simply for being his father's son (and his mother's, too, even if for different reasons...) So the way he acted with Harry is hardly basis for comparison. And I really wanted to give Snape some happiness here (in all the bittersweetness of everything).

Gryffindors are a tiny bit rowdy... Maybe not all of them... The Marauders definitely were! :P And I totally agree about the sexy thing... (since when is Remus our??? Kidding, of course he is! I'm not that selfish!!!)

I know... The last meeting was so sad... Emmeline is a Puff, so obviously she would forgive him, especially since he changed his loyalties. I'm glad you liked it!

I'll start working on chapter two of In between soon. Promise. You'll be the first to know when I'm done with it. ;)

Love, hugs and kisses.
Your loveful beta/betee,

(PS going to answer to the reviews on The Lark tomorrow. Now I really need to go to bed...)

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Review #5, by MuggleMaybe 

5th March 2016:
This is for the HPFF Review-A-Thon

Hi dear! In your review response you asked if I'd read this, and I hadn't, so I thought I'd come check it out.

I LOVED it! The thing that really strikes me is how you took a single event and gave it new meaning each time. When they first meet, they're young and naive, and the idea to meet again in the future is like a silly dare, all in good fun.

The second meeting is more nuanced. They have history, not all of it good, but they're also still hopeful.

And then the third reunion. Oh, my heart. The way you wrote this emphasized the gap that death creates in the lives of the people who knew the person. That has a lot of impact, and was brilliantly done.

reading this makes me so glad you're writing more about them, because I really want to know more. Did they actually becomes friends at Hogwarts? What was that like for them? I want more!

This is a wonderful story, thank you for mentioning it.
sending hugs!

Author's Response: Hello, my dear Renee!
Thank you so much for stopping by! It was lovely to receive your review!!! *wub*

Aww... I'm so glad you liked it!!! And that you liked the parallel among the three meetings and how their relationship evolved through the years.

Oh, I know... The third reunion was the hardest... I'm glad I managed to emphasize the gap of death. Well, not glad of making you sad, but you know what I mean.

I'm happy to know this made you curious about the follow-up of In between. Hopefully, chapter two will be up in a reasonable time...

Thanks to you for stopping by! You really made my day!

Tons of hugs,

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Review #6, by MrsJaydeMalfoy 

2nd January 2016:
WHY, Chiara, just WHY?! You broke my feels!

I love the fact that they all made a pact on their first day, and that they all kept it, in spite of everything. And then, the second 7 year appointment.. *sobs*

There were SO many emotions in this - happiness, excitement, then uncertainty, more happiness and relief, and then just utter sadness. You are a MASTER at conveying emotions!

I really, really enjoyed this also, and I loved your characterization of Snape! I wish we could see more about this quartet from you!

Well done!

Author's Response: Erm... I'm sorry? (no, not really...)

I wanted to write about an unconventional friendship. I liked the idea of four friends from all four different houses, and I thought it might be cute to have them meeting up once school is over. I'm glad you liked the idea behind this.

Yes... The second meeting was really sad... :'(

Aww... thank you... It's always great to know that I managed to convey so many emotions.

Actually, one of my ideas for a new story is to write the seven years at Hogwarts of the four of them. But it is only a really vague project that I'm not sure if it'll ever see the light...

Anyway, thank you so much for all your super kind reviews! They all made me so happy!!!

Lots of love,

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Review #7, by isidora 

10th November 2015:
well done chiara ...i enjoyed reading your script.is well done...!! keep going...looking forward for others stories

Author's Response: Isiii!!! Thank you!!!
I'm so, so thrilled you enjoyed it!!! :D
Let me know what you think about the other stories too, if you manage to read them!
Grazie grazie grazie!

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Review #8, by merlins beard 

7th September 2015:
Hey Chiara, I'm here for our swap. I'm running out of oneshots of yours to review. I'll have to start reading one of the longer stories next time we do this. (And then I'll probably get caught up with it again and read it all in one go)

Okay, now let's get to the reason I'm here. I think you've got a great concept here. I like that you included 4 people, one from each house in this. It makes it seem very thought out. It's a very wise thing to do to decide that on your first day of school. I'm glad they all followed through.

There is one question that wouldn't leave my mind throughout the story: what are the games they are playing? Are they italian games or are they well-known internationally (and I'm just too much of a nerd to know them because playing games usually involves other people)? Or maybe I know them under a different name. Could you explain the basic structure of the games to me? What do they have to do? I think if they are italian games or have italian names, it might be good to include a short translation or explanation in the author's note...

I really love love LOVE that snape and emmeline still turn up to the appointment for the second time. It's really sad that they kind of keep waiting for the others...

I like that snape feels sorry for what he did, but his irrational hatred of james and, by extension harry as well always gets to me. I know it's canon and it's the right way to write him, it does suit his personality. Still forms a knot of anger in my stomach every time i read it.

One thing I can say is that you could have included a little more description, but it's okay the way it is too, there's some there. It's not completely missing. I just like trying to adress the senses. What do the places look like? Is it strange seeing the platform again, and empty? What does it smell like in the pub, is it dark in there? Do they hear distant trains on the platform? Is the sound suddenly cut off when they pass through the barrier? Are Severus' hands sweaty, is he nervous when he waits for them? Do his shoes make a sound when he paces around? What does the food taste like? Their drinks? What are they having? ... the list can go on forever. This is just a very good example, so I thought I'd point it out. You may be able to use it for other stories as well.

I hope you're okay with me pointing that out... it helped me a lot when peoplr told me to do it (in many of the reviews I got), so I thought it might help you as well, even if you don't edit it into this story.

I always love swapping with you honey, your stories are so original, do different from other people's, and they're really well written, flow easily and the plot is really good as well. Thank you for that.

Lots of love,

Author's Response: Hey, Anja!
Thank you so much for the swap!!!
Ahahah! Oh, well... You still have two chapters of 1981 to go through, and if everything goes as planned I'll have a few new one shots up soon (I'm not too happy with my other novellas, to be honest... Two Lilies is a funny story, but very immature. And I've had a sort of love/hate relationship with Jimmy Portman since the very start... But that's beside the point, isn't it?)

Oh, I'm glad you liked the concept of the story! I've been planning it (well, not exactly this story, but a friendship among members of all houses) for a long time! ;)

Oh, right, the games! Well, I must admit that I'm not exactly sure... I looked online and I found a site in English where the games were called like that, so I gave for granted that they were International games and that the names would be recognizable (it was a concern of mine, I swear). I don't think I can explain you the rules here. They are quite complex games and I'm not very good at explaining rules... not in the short space of a review answer, anyway (I'll PM you with the rules, if you're interested)

I know... the ending was really bittersweet, wasn't it? I'm glad you liked that they still went back!!!

Snape is kind of infuriating in that aspect... But you have to admit, the Marauders weren't exactly nice to him... Harry truly had no fault, though! He shouldn't have been that biased (and just straight detestable!!!

Oh, don't worry, I don't mind the CC. Description is something I always struggle with a lot... But I think I've been improving a tiny bit story after story. I'll try to put more effort in it!

Oh, thank you so much! It's so great to know that you like my stories so much (and btw, I really really love your stories too)!!!

Thank you so much for the swap!
All my love,

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Review #9, by Shadowkat 

10th May 2015:
Honestly, I don't see Snape laughing with his arm around anyone's shoulder, drunk or not...but it d defenitly got a laugh out of me. And I agree, what's wrong with loving books??? Then again, I'm a Ravenclaw too, so that might have something to do with it! XD

The only other thing is I find it hard to believe all that tension between Severus and Lily fell away so fast. Despite those two things, everything else was good. I normally don't read stories like this, but it caught my eye and I've very glad it did. That's for deciding to swap, or I would never have found it! :D

Author's Response: Ok, I'll concede you that... A bit out of character... But you have to consider, Snape here is still young, hasn't seen the horrors of war yet. And alcohol, and most importantly friends, can play miracles!

And don't worry, there's nothing wrong in it at all! Even if I must admit that a huge volume would scare me a little (but I'm a Hufflepuff, not a Ravenclaw...)

You're probably right. My idea behind this was that the fact itself of finding themselves all back together would make them forget all their contrasts and just enjoy the evening like the seven years in the middle never took place.
That's wishful thinking, I know. But so is going to the appointment in the first place.

I'm so happy you liked this story, even if it isn't your genre! Thank you so much for swapping! :)

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Review #10, by TreacleTart 

10th May 2015:
Hey Chiara!

I'm here for our review swap! Sorry it took me a little while to get here!

I thought this was a really interesting concept. Four friends all in different houses, sworn to meet up every seven years to see how everyone has changed. It's a sweet idea.

I liked your choice of characters for this. Originally, when I saw that Snape was one of the four, I couldn't imagine who else you would include besides Lily, but for some reason Edgar Bones and Emmeline Vance made sense. They both have such a nice temperament that I could imagine it working out well. I love that they bond over card games as that seems so natural.

Fourteen years later, when it's just Emmeling and Severus, I wonder what they would talk about. Do you think Emmeline would be mad that Snape was a Death Eater or would she feel sympathy that he lost the love of his life?

Now a little bit of constructive criticism. I noticed in several places that you use words incorrectly or that you spell them the wrong way. For example, you write "Lily tought them to play." It should be taught. You also say uncorrect at one point. It should be incorrect. I know that English isn't your primary language, so I still think you've done a phenomenal job. I just think maybe getting a beta to clean up a bit of the spelling and word usage would make it a little clearer in parts.

All in all, I think this was a really unique, lovely concept and I really enjoyed it. It was bittersweet, but so is life! Thanks for the swap!


Author's Response: Hey, Kaitlin!
Don't worry about the lateness, I'm just happy that we swapped (also because I got the chance to read another lovely story of yours)!

I'm happy you liked the concept for this story. I really wanted to show that true friendship can overcome differences and difficulties. Maybe I'm a bit of dreamer, like Severus says, but I still want to believe something like this could be possible!

I'm happy you liked the choice for the characters. I wanted to use names that would be recognized, and I thought Emmeline and Edgar could work. Yes, they have a nice temperament, even if Edgar is a little bit snappish, and Emmeline a little bit vain...
I love card games, I could spend hours at it and never get bored! It's a great way of spending fun time with friends!

I think Emmeline herself wouldn't be sure. A bit of both, I daresay. But probably the sympathy would prevail. She's a Hufflepuff, after all...

Oh, I don't like constructive criticism... Ok, kidding :P
I'll consider it. Actually, getting a beta makes me a bit nervous (and I'm also terribly lazy when it comes to editing...) but I will consider it! Thank you for saying you think I did a good job anyway.

Thanks to you for swapping! I'm just so happy you enjoyed the story!

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Review #11, by HeyMrsPotter 

20th April 2015:
Hi Chiara! Here for our swap!

I absolutely loved the premise for this story. You captured what it's like to be an excited 11 year old brilliantly for all of the characters, and their promise to meet up with each other after 7 years was adorable.

I really loved how the characters grew up through the story, too. In their second meeting Severus is obviously older and has changed somewhat having joined the Death Eaters but I like that he still allows himself to have fun with the group.

The last meeting is so heartbreaking with just the two of them there, and Lily's very notable absence. I like that the change in Snape after her death is really obvious in the shorter, clipped dialogue. I'm glad it ended on a more hopeful note, and after everything he still allowed himself to have a drink and a game of cards with Emmeline.

I'm so glad we swapped, Chiara, I really loved this story!

Dee :)

Author's Response: Hey, Dee!

Oh, I'm really happy you liked this story! So glad we swapped, too! :)

Thank you so much! It's great to hear you feel I captured their children's excitement well. I think I never really grew up, so it wasn't that difficult :P And I'm very happy to hear you found their promise cute!

They are all pretty different in their second meeting. Especially Severus. But I really wanted for them to just forget all their adult problems and the difficulties of their lives and have fun together, if only for a night.

Yes, I know... It is sad, with Lily and Edgar gone and only Severus and Emmeline left... I'm glad you liked the happier note in the ending!

Thank you for swapping with me and for the lovely review! It really made me smile so widely!

With love,

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Review #12, by The Lucky Lady 

13th April 2015:
Hi Chiara *waves*

I'm The Lucky Lady. My dear friend, someone who's seen you around the forums because she is a member there, felt awfully guilty for not having read anything of yours. So I offered to do so for her, and here I am to do just that.

I really liked the idea of showing four friends meeting at the same spot in different times of their lives. I loved that they all started as a bit naive, but very good friend at that time. Then 7 years later, you can see things are more strained, they have matured, grown apart and things have changed. Then in the final meeting, two of them are dead, because of everything that has happened in the war, and the two left kind of grow closer as a result of that. That is how I interpreted it, anyway.

I liked the different characters, and that they were all sorted into different houses. And I found their friendship to be very similar to how I imagine the founders' were, with very different personalities that ultimately does make them fall apart. But they can be friends, and I think they really want to be friends. And you can see that they still have a little bit of that childish naivity (if you want to call it that) that they had in their first meeting, that hope of being able to stay friends despite being in many ways polar-oppsites with different values and ideas.

I really loved it, and I will let my friend over at the forums know just that. You've probably seen her around, actually. She likes to use secret names, because she's hiding from someone, but I'm sure you can find her you want to.

Anyway, I'm afraid I have to go. Two of these people may not have had much luck, but I do. And I risk losing that if I stay around unlucky people for too long, so I hope you can excuse my leaving.

Say hi to friend over at forums for me.


The Lucky Lady

(If you didn't get it, I'm the friend, and I really liked it. See ya around the forums, Chiara!)

Author's Response: Hello, Lucky Lady! :)
I'm so glad your friend on the forums decided to send you to this story (and no, I have no idea who you are, and I'm really horrible at making guesses... I might have a couple of suspicions, actually, but I suppose I'll remain with the mystery... :P)

I'm so happy you liked the idea of them meeting up at the different stages of their lives. You really summed it up pretty well, that's exactly what I wanted to tell.

Oh, wow... I would've never thought about paragonate them to the Founders! Yes, they really want to be friends despite their differences, and I think they managed it somehow! And yes, they definetely still have a bit of that "childish naivity". I'm so glad you liked them! :)

Oh, I would never want you to lose your luck! Don't worry, it was really great that you decided to stop by!

See you around the forums!


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Review #13, by leahandro01 

22nd March 2015:
heyy i just saw youre post on my status now so i am late i think oops sorry. i dont read a lot of stories about snape but i when i read stories about him it is snily which i like second to dramione i think!!this was a realy cool story though and i like the way that they are all friends and even though there is the war and stuff something tells them all to go back like magic for their meeting which was cool. also i didnt no that severes was friends with em after the war that was cool to learn. i like this story.
(i hope i did this right i have never done a review swap before so i am sorry if i did it wrong lol)

Author's Response: Hi!
Don't worry about it, actually I'm quite new to the review swap concept too, but I don't think there is an actual rule to how to do it, so don't worry, you're not late! ;)
I'm really happy to hear you liked this story!
I liked the idea of writing about a friendship which could survive differences and house rivalry. Also, I wanted to give Severus a little less lonely life (I doubt he and the others had actually ever been friends in canon, except for Lily of course).
It was a real pleasure to swap with you, maybe we can do that again sometime :)
With love,

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Review #14, by marauderfan 

10th November 2014:
Hello ;) I decided it was long past time for me to come check out some of your writing, so here I am!

This was cute. I loved the way you wrote the changing of the four friends relationship through the passage of time, and I must admit it was nice to see Snape had friends outside of the Death Eaters. I found it really interesting that they were all still friends the first time they met up again after school, as it was probably quite evident that everyone was going their separate ways - but it was really cute, because even though they knew things between them were not as ideal as maybe they wished at the age of eleven, they still try to keep up the friendly atmosphere by only discussing the good things, or topics that won't divide them apart anymore.

The end was really bittersweet too. It was nice to see Snape being so honest with Emmeline, as I feel like that was information he tried to conceal from Dumbledore - but perhaps since Emmeline is a friend he's had since the age of eleven, he feels that she's already guessed. Regardless, I thought their friendship was sweet.

Sweet story, thanks for sharing! :)

Author's Response: Hi Kristin!
Oh, wow, I'm so happy to see you on one of my stories! It means so much to me!
I've always had on my mind the idea of a friendship which could overcome house rivalry, and then I got the inspiration for this story while reading about Melanie's first trip to Hogwarts in your "The brave at heart" (thank you, by the way).
Yes, I know... This is really bittersweet... But at least Snape is not as alone as he is in canon...
Thanks again for this lovely review! I'm just so glad that you enjoyed this story!
Lots of love,

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