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11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Penelope Inkwell 

17th April 2016:
BETH! I'm back! And ohmygosh I have missed this story!

Sorry it's been so long--I went on a hiatus that ended up being rather longer than I'd expected. But I'm so glad to be reading this again.


Am I the only one that thinks it's hilarious that a pregnancy test matches the exact shade of Scorpius' eyes?

Poor Rose! This is the problem with keeping things from the people you're trying to protect! She doesn't know how dangerous it really is for her out there. And really? For none of the Aurors to have cottoned onto the fact that she had major cabin fever--I mean, open your eyes, guys! They're so focused on keeping her safe that I think they've lost focus on keeping her well , which, given all she's been through, is an important consideration. I can't even really blame her for taking off--not that much. I mean, it was reckless and dangerous, but she was so stifled, and then there they were saying she didn't need to try to defend herself and "trust the system" when the system had failed her so badly already?

I know they mean well--that's so clear. They're just trying to protect her. But Selenia's right: they've really forgotten the bigger picture.

There was something I especially liked about the turnaround there, about how Scorpius is so quick to blame Selenia for saying the wrong thing, when really it's the Auror crowd who've upset her so much. It just feels like we're very much in his head when we're in his POV, and reminds us that not every narrator is always correct or reliable. It was good to see that bias.

CC:

I noticed this one thing: This was bad. Really bad. Rose doesn’t even know how bad this was
--the tense switches right there. It's in past with the two "was"es, so "doesn't" should probably be "didn't".


I just can't say how glad I am to be reading this again! I've missed your fantastic story-telling!

--Penny

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Review #2, by MrsJaydeMalfoy 

21st September 2015:
Did you think that I was finished? NEVER!!

Okay, so I actually really agree with Rose here... she NEEDS to know how to defend herself. I get what the others are saying - they're not supposed to talk about what happens in their training, and arming the general public with ALL the spells that Aurors know could prove to do more harm than good. However, Rose clearly isn't the general public - there's a REALLY dark wizard after her and she needs to be able to defend herself, and they should understand that! She doesn't want to be in that sort of situation ever again!

However, doing it in public is a BAD IDEA. Because of the muggles, yes, but also because being in public puts her at a greater risk.

I'm glad that she went somewhere well-known, and I'm thinking that Scorpius is the one who found her (or at least I hope so).

Another great chapter!

Author's Response: Hi there!

I'm determined to get through my unanswered reviews today. I know what you mean - Rose has a definite point here - and the fact that she WANTS to defend herself is a big step in and of itself.

But yeah, in a muggle park isn't the best idea.

Rose isn't stupid - she still has her wits about her and knew the right place to go :)

♥ Beth


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Review #3, by Tonks1247 

11th July 2015:
Alright…alright. I’m not going to freak out and be overdramatic about this chapter…I’ve got this…

So. Rose going crazy with being locked up. I honest to goodness cannot blame her. I cannot handle being stuck somewhere I can’t leave. It’s like when they request I work a double at work after half the first shift has been crazier than all crazy…Like, how can they expect her to be locked in the house, unable to leave, for an undetermined amount of time? It’s really just cruel! And I love this line:

“I can’t take it anymore – I’m locked in my own private Azkaban day after day!”

Rose may be a bit overdramatic here, but honestly? It’s not so much different for her, with being locked away like she is (Although Selenia’s following comment is accurate and had me giggling insanely over here…). It’s just not so good.

And you know…Ruth super bothers me. Her being in Bulgaria doesn’t give me the best of feelings wither and just…I’ve said it in reviews before, and I still don’t know what it is, but she’s really, really bothering me.

That and this line: “Samara…You stay here, in case she comes back. Anyone finds her, send a patronus to the rest of us.”

I have no words to honestly describe why exactly Ruth and Samara’s characters put me off. Ruth just seems…off. I’m not sure I have a good enough explanation for her. She just knows a lot of personal stuff about Rose and I just…it makes me uncomfortable. As for Samara? I just don’t have enough information on her. The unknown unnerves me quite a bit…

Jumping back a little, Rose just leaving the house was a sure fire way to get everyone to see how bad it is to have her locked up. I feel terrible that what Selenia said came across to Rose the way it did. I get that she was defending her but just…it’s tragic that it was taken that way. It’s really not fair.

As to where Rose is? My guess, if anything, is Harry. At least there before home. Although Hermione knows things? But in distress…yeah, I’m sticking with Harry…

Great chapter! :D
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Hi there Mikaela!

Okay - I'm SO sorry for being a total jerk and taking so long to respond to you reviews that are TOTALLY AWESOME and completely make my day! I check my iPad the first thing when I wake up in the morning and when I see a review from you I know it's going to be a good day :)

I'm so glad you see Rose's POV. Harry and her parents just want her to be safe - but there's a limit to what a person can take. And even so, she's *just* sort of finding herself again so she needs a bit of freedom to experience life as a proper adult.

I'm afraid I may have missed the mark with my characterization of Ruth. I'll admit, I don't know too much about therapists or the proper treatment for traumatized victims, but I wanted someone that Rose could talk to that wasn't a family member. I also wanted to send a message that therapy is not shameful. I feel bad that she's a suspect for you...

Your instincts on Rose are... very, very good. You know her well.

♥ Beth


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Review #4, by crestwood 

12th June 2015:
It would suck to be locked up indoors all the time. But it's definitely necessary for her safety considering how Stannous seems to be able to find her regardless of if she's at the pub or on the moon.

I adore Ruth as a character. She's always come across as so thoughtful and sincere. I wish she didn't have to leave for her trip.

And this is where she gets the idea for defense lessons. Which are really a great idea, by the way. It really only makes sense, considering how badly she reacted the last two times she was in danger.

My heart raced when Rose ran off, even though I knew exactly where she went. You're very good at writing panic-inducing scenes, at any rate. Another great chapter!

Slytherin - House Cup 2015 Review

Author's Response: Hi there Joey,

I think you're the first person to comment on how much they like Ruth! I'm glad you approve of her character. I really wanted to have a character *outside* the Wotter clan to help validate Rose's emotions and give her a place to grow.

Yes! The defense lessons. In the original outline of this, they were supposed to be more like The DA from the books, but it kind of took on its own twist here.

Ooo! Thanks - I wanted the readers to be worried about Rose leaving her safety net!

♥ Beth


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Review #5, by merlins beard 

6th May 2015:
Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Because I am certainly too young for that kind of stuff. I'm in my twenties, I can't just die of stress-induced heart failure.

Rose feels trapped and that is totally understandable. This whole being babysat thing is getting old fast for her and the mission is dragging on forever...

I really think Harry should have told her about what they found out (which by the way I still know nothing about). She would have understood better and been more careful.

I have a really really bad feeling about the next chapter...
I'll try to make it quick - like ripping off a band-aid, so it doesn't hurt so much when something bad happens to my beloved Rose

~Anja

Author's Response: Haha - you have a great feel for these characters! You really understand where everyone is coming from and it makes me so happy!

But PLEASE don't have a heart attack! I agree - you're far too young and I wouldn't want to be responsible for that :)

And gah! You might want to hold on to your seat for the next chapter!

Thanks so much!

♥ Beth


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Review #6, by LightLeviosa5443 

17th November 2014:
Hi Honey! I'm here for our review swap!

I really liked this chapter. The first part of it was filled with a lot of frustration and I honestly could feel that as I read the story. I really liked the way Rose seemed to compartmentalize her thoughts. What she was doing, what she had to do, what she didn't like about her living situation, what she did, the current setting she was in. It was really nice to read and an interesting look into her head. It's definitely got me intrigued for how she's going to handle this oncoming situation. Also, Poor Selenia having to remake that potion again. :P

Oh. Well, that wasn't the solution I was expecting. I don't like the way that Albus is so... Rude. I do like that this part of the chapter is in Scorpius POV. It works really well, because he doesn't have a more logical view of the situation than Rose, but he does have more information than she does, so he's got a very different view on it because of that. And because of his feelings. As mad as I am at how rude Albus is being, I can see their point in not wanting to teach the others some defense tricks. I think there needs to be some middle ground. Rose does need to learn better defense, but she also needs some form of protection.

Um, she just left? Where did she go? Oh god, she's throwing up in some random place. Who is that? Who is the voice? Okay. I've been sitting here for like twenty minutes trying to figure out who the voice is. I can't think of anyone. My first guess is Ginny but then she would be found fast, and she doesn't want to be found, I don't think. But who would she go to?

This was a fantastic chapter, darling! I absolutely loved it! I'm going to have to keep reading because I can't walk away now!

xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: Sarah!

You completely amazing, wonderful, super, special, loving, awesome person! Aaah! I'm still reeling over all of these reviews that warmed my ♥ right up!

I love how you write your reviews and I get an immediate reaction to every part that you read! It's like I can feel your emotions. You have a great intuition with Ginny. Rose isn't completely careless, but she did need to get her point across :)

The boys - Albus especially were really not being very sensitive. I like your word - RUDE. C'mon Albus - let's have a little compassion here!

Thanks again for all these reviews!

♥ Beth


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Review #7, by Paddlewaddle 

6th October 2014:
Things are coming to a head as we find out more about Stannous (as we did in the last chapter). Still trying to piece together in my head some theories about what exactly went on with the Department of Mysteries and WHY Rose is his target - but all in due time!

For a moment in the last paragraph of the sentence I almost had chills runnign down me thinking that it was Stannous who was at her parents house waiting for her, and not Scorpius (or at least someone she trusted) conforting her after she threw up. Thankfully its not the case and I really honesly do love this unparalleled trust they have for each other. A lot of the fics I read have trouble portraying this part of their relationship (at least beyond the initial 'chase') but this fic does it perfectly - the kind of relationship that's passionate, firey but also peaceful, trusting and loving.

Anyway I can't wait for the next few chapter as things are slowly being revealed!

Author's Response: Hi paddlewaddle,

So sorry I took a long time to get to this :(

Ooo! You picked up on the Department of Mysteries thing - very observant! Don't worry, much will be revealed soon.

Oh - that would've been really creepy to have Stannous there. *shudders*

Gah! You give me such feels because you really *get* the relationship I'm trying to portray between Rose and Scorpius. It is truly deeper than just a passionate love or best friends who finish each other's sentences. They are connected to each other - in so many ways.

Next chapter is in the queue! I can't wait to hear what you think!

♥ Beth


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Review #8, by k1187700 

1st October 2014:
AH! I can't believe this chapter was up so fast! Great chapter! I would feel the same way as Rose about being cooped up and it goes a lot to showing that although she is moving on, it's still going to haunt her. Most story's blast past that like, once you're doing okay, you've forgotten the incidence but it still creeps up on you! I do like in how you interpret all the old characters too. Most the time on this site Harry, Ron and Hermione become vague parental figures but you've stayed true to how they seem in JK's books and added more to their story, not just ignored the years that have meant to have passed. But you still haven't even dropped a hint about what the mystery is. Please update just as fast again! I love this story! I love Rose and Scorpius together! I love how you've incorporated all their relationships! It's a really good story! You've written it so well, it will kill me if I don't find out how it ends!

Author's Response: Hiya!

I was so excited to see you back! It gives me such a thrill to know that you are enjoying the story - really, I'm giddy right now. I'm glad that it came across that Rose needs a bit more freedom - that's all I'm gonna say on that part right now.

I also *loved* that you noticed my details with the trio. I figured they would play a big part in their kids' lives and I know what you mean about how they are generally portrayed as background characters.

I definitely intend to finish this story - the next ten chapters or so are roughed out and I have an outline all the way to the end. I can't update for a week or so because I've been nominated for a Dobby (squee!) and the rules state that there can be no edits until voting is over. But once it is - I'll be right back to it!

Thanks again for reviewing!

Beth


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Review #9, by CambAngst 

1st October 2014:
Hi, Beth!

Ooh, a cliffhanger! Who is the mysterious person in the house where Rose arrived? Obviously it's somebody who's familiar with her problems. Very curious.

I was wondering whether something like this might happen, although I was thinking Scorpius was more likely to go stir-crazy than Rose. I guess it's actually an expected part of her recovery. Now that she's had a little taste of what life could be like, it must be hard to be smothered in the darkness of Grimmauld Place because of Stannous. I know I'd find that horrible. He's torturing her in a completely different way, not even needing to be present.

Honestly, I was a fan of Rose's central idea. She really could use to brush up on her defensive magic in a practical setting. Granted, she's probably rushing into things, but progress has to start somewhere. Trying to parlay that idea into a way to be outside, however, was a bit childish on her part. She should understand as well as anyone that Stannous has some way to get to her that the Aurors don't know how to counteract, short of placing her under unbreakable magical protection. All in all, it seems like both sides were being kind of ridiculous. Given the strain she's under, I can see how Rose would have reacted poorly to what she would see as further coddling/imprisoning.

The group lost valuable time while trying to overcome their shock and figure out what to do. I hope that doesn't come back to haunt them. I really liked Scorpius's idea of going directly to Ron and Hermione. Aside from their house being as likely as anywhere for Rose to be, he's building some additional trust with Ron. Rose probably won't like it, but she's not really thinking straight at this point. I just hope Scorpius doesn't talk himself out of being honest with them before he can tell them what's happened.

So where has Rose actually gone? My random guess is Harry's house, and the person behind her is Ginny. But hey, I'm probably way far off. We shall see.

I noticed one thing of consequence while I was reading: "Don't say anything to alarm Nana Molly or Grandad, just act like you came for a quick visit and send me a patronus." -- This line comes from Scorpius, if I'm reading it right, so it doesn't sound right for him to refer to Molly and Arthur that way.

Otherwise, brilliant chapter! I enjoyed it thoroughly and I can't wait for you to spring your surprise on us!

Author's Response: Hi Dan!

So sorry for the cliffhanger - uh... actually I'm not, but since we are getting to the more action-packed part of the story, there *might* be one or two more - fair warning - haha!

I'm so excited that you noticed how this is a completely different kind of torture - that really comes out in the next couple of chapters. Rose just has to make her family/Auror department (really they are one in the same...) see this.

I think Rose's idea is a good one too! The Auror trainees are just privy to some *other* information that is scaring the pants off of them right now, so they are coming from a different point of view.

Yeah, the lot of them were completely taken aback by her sudden exit. It was so unlike mild, meek little Rose to just run off - another sign that she is on her way toward recovery.

As for your guess at Rose's location, you won't have to wait too long...

I never thought about Scorpius's names for Molly and Arthur - I think in my head, she (Molly) insisted that he refer to them in that way after spending so much time with the Potters. Arthur might not like it, but I think after Scorpius's parents passed away, she would have taken him in like one of her grandchildren.

Thanks again, Dan!

♥ Beth


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Review #10, by MargaretLane 

1st October 2014:
I like the sound of this chapter. You indicated things were about to get intense in your reply to my last review and I enjoy a bit of intensity, though I'm not sure whether it's going to be emotional intensity or villain stalking people intensity. The former is my favourite, though the latter could be interesting too.

And I LOVE the summary to this chapter. I assume it means because she can't go out for fear of the villain rather than being a reference to her mental state, as I originally thought, but either is interesting.

I really like the way you go into detail about how much the restrictions are bothering her. So many stories end all stress once the character begins to confront their demons or the main pairing gets together, whereas in reality, problems aren't sorted so easily and being so restricted WOULD be extremely difficult. Especially as it seems to be dragging on for months on end. It may be minor compared with her post-traumatic stress and the risk of death, but the little things are still frustrating even when you have bigger problems.

Poor Wolfram Longbottom. He sounds a little like his dad, just from that little comment. Assuming he is his son. He could be a cousin or something too, I guess.

Hmm, I'm now intrigued as to what it is that Ruth has found out.

And I like the positive note in her letter. The whole comment about the faster her recovery will be reminds her that she will recover without being so positive as to make Rose feel guilty or inadequate if she doesn't progress as fast as she might.

She does seem to be doing better though. In a way, even her frustration and annoyance is a good sign, as her focus on the restrictions shows the other problems aren't demanding so much of her attention that she is unable to carry about the more petty problems.

And in practically the next LINE we get a real impression of how much better she is doing when she says she's now ready to experience life again, but can't. It may be unfair and really annoying, but I still think it's better than her not being up to experiencing life "outside her little cocoon." There are real indications she'll recover. Of course, that assumes she doesn't experience further trauma at the villain's hands that set her back. Even just seeing him or having reason to fear another immediate attack could easily set back her recovery.

And in the very next line, she considers the possibility of another attack.

And I like the little details like that Scorpius and Rose enjoy cooking whereas Albus and Selenia do the easiest options possible.

I think it is good for her to learn some extra defensive spells, just in case there aren't enough Auror around to protect her. However I really don't think it would be a good idea for her to remain and fight if it is possible for her to get away and I can easily see her doing so. She's not an Auror, she's at greater risk than other people as it appears it's her the villain is after and she has trauma issues that aren't going to be helped by being injured in battle. But I can easily see her not wanting to leave other people to fight when it is likely to be her presence that drew the villain in the first place.

Harry'd be a bit of a hypocrite to object to the underground teaching of Defence Against the Dark Arts, wouldn't he? But I guess this is different, as Rose has, or should have, adequate protection, whereas the Hogwarts students were not receiving adequate preparation in Harry's fifth year.

I doubt Rose would go anywhere unprotected. While she may not know the full story (and I am intrigued as to what it is she doesn't know), I think she knows enough to realise what a bad idea that'd be. But then on the other hand, she may just be frustrated enough to take a risk.

Stay with somebody who can protect you, Rose!

I'd be inclined to put a "pm" after the "seven o'clock" part, though it's not really necessary as the next line and the fact they are having dinner makes it clear it's the evening anyway.

I hope she is with Ron and Hermione.

Hmm, you've left it up in the air where she is even after she arrives. I'm intrigued. It could be her mum she's with, but I kind of doubt it. Harry, maybe. Although the bit about knowing how she is could indicate her mother, as Hermione would understand the trauma she's feeling.

Many of the people I'd consider aren't options, as we know Albus and Scorpius don't know where she is. Hmm.

I think the flow of this chapter is better than previous chapters, maybe because of the beta. I thought it read really well anyway, whatever the reason.

And yeah, that part I mentioned in the last chapter may well be a dialect thing. I've seen it like that in other stories too.

Author's Response: Hello there!

I was so excited to see you were the first to review the latest chapter :)

Hmmm - emotional intensity vs. stalking intensity - can it be a bit of both? I definitely have both lined up. Although admittedly, there is probably a bit more of the villain thing going on for a few chapters or so.

Ooo - I didn't even think of the double meaning for the chapter summary. Rose is on her way toward healing. She is most definitely in a different place than at the beginning of the story - and I have no intention of sweeping her emotional progress under the rug, but as she progresses, there will be other challenges for her to overcome.

Yeah, I don't think her idea of practicing defense is a bad one, either! The Auror trainees are just kind of stuck in a tight spot right now - they know some things that Rose doesn't.

Haha - I put that in there about the DADA because *of course* Harry isn't going to protest, but I'm working off the premise that these next gen kids don't know about Dumbledore's Army. I feel like Hermione wouldn't let Ron and Harry let their kids know just how often the trio broke the rules when they were at Hogwarts - haha!

Rose isn't stupid about her own safety, just really, really frustrated. But I'll let you read the next chapter to find out more...

Thanks for the comment on the flow. I do have a beta, which helps *loads*, but I'm also taking a bit more care with the chapters and I re-read them a *lot* before posting. I'm getting to some delicate parts of the mystery and I don't want to mess anything up!

Thanks so much!

Beth





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Review #11, by insertofafanboy 

30th September 2014:
Oh my god,im so nervous for what's to come! Your story is incredible, and your a really skilled writer. Keep up the great work...and don't kill me with Scorose feels...

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm so excited you like my story! Thanks for leaving a review. I'll try not to kill you - haha, but there is a bit of action coming...

Beth


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