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11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart 

21st November 2015:
HPFF Twitter Flash Challenge

Hey Aph!

Thought I'd drop in and take a look at how you're story is progressing. I have to say that I was thrilled to see this chapter was in Grindelwald's POV.

It's interesting to see the contrast between Grindelwald and Dumbledore. Where Dumbledore seems much more forlorn and regretful, Grindelwald sort of seems like he's simply recounting some of his favorite memories. I suppose it isn't really tinged with the same sadness as Dumbledore's POV is.

I love how you filled in his adventures between Bulgaria and leaving Dumbledore. It was a short section, but it filled in a lot. I could imagine him in the hills of Italy trying to get over his heart ache by getting drunk and keeping the company of a hot Italian man. It all seemed to fit well...and it also solidified for me that Dumbledore cared much more for him than the other way around.

I felt like the explanation of him stealing the elder wand was really exciting. Again, it was short, but it was everything necessary for me to imagine what was happening. It added just a little bit to what we already know from cannon, but it felt a bit richer.

I have to say that I'm quite anxious to see how Dumbledore and Grindelwald develop as the story continues. I mean we obviously have a general idea of what happens, but you do such a good job of creating these missing moments that piece into cannon so well. You really have your characters dialed in and you've made their voices so distinct and authentic.

As always, your description is stunning. That's possibly my favorite thing about your writing is just the way your words flow so effortlessly.

I'll be back for another chapter soon!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hey Kaitlin! :) Thanks so much for dropping by on this - I'm always so glad to see people are still enjoying this!

Yeah, I really love doing the split-pov thing - I think (hope?) it works well, and it's so much fun to do, coz I don't get bored with one pov, you know?

One of the things I love about them is they have such different approaches to life and ways they look at things - Gellert is a lot more unrepentent than Albus is, and Albus does feel a lot more guilt and sorrow over what happened and what didn't happen between them.

Thanks! :D I really enjoyed writing that bit, though it was kinda strange to work out what he'd do which would be not in England or in Germany. Haha, yeah, Gellert perhaps doesn't have the best coping methods :P I don't think it's a question of care, more than it is escapism, in a way, but I get what you mean ;)

I really had wanted to write that scene for a long time since I started this - it felt like something which had to be included, you know, since it's so important to both their plans and significant to them - so I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Awww, thank you! I'm so happy you like them - they're getting much more fun to write as it goes along, I think, because there's more freedom, but it's also kinda scary because there's always the canon part which it has to fit in with, so I'm always nervous about how well it connects up.

Thank you! :) I loved writing this chapter, so I'm so happy you liked it - especially the description! :)

Aph xx


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Review #2, by HeyMrsPotter 

13th September 2015:
Laura! I loved this chapter♥

Missing moments are my absolute favourite and I've never read a story about Gellert stealing the Elder Wand before. I love that you gave it the build up too, of where he had been between Ariana's death and finding it.

As always, your description in this is absolutely incredible. I really fel like I'm right there with Gellert and Dumbledore every step of the way in this story.

Dee

Author's Response: Gah, Dee, you're waaay too nice - you've got to stop doing this! :)

I really wanted to include the Elder Wand - I thought it was important, that connection to the Hallows. Also, I thought it was important for him and to him, in a way... yeah, I'm insane, haha :P But yeah, I liked including what he did, because it was always mentioned to be a bit of a black hole, in canon :P

Thank you so much - I know i've said this before, but I really do love writing this, and it means so much that other people enjoy it too! :) :)

Aph xx


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Review #3, by ad astra 

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

This.

This is stunning writing. I don't know how you manage it but every chapter of this story has been impossibly better than the last, and your depiction of Gellert here is incredible. Absolutely chilling, terrifying in its intensity and remorselessness, and so brilliantly done.

I want the memories of that place, the blood and the tears and the power I poured into that land to come back to me; I want it to possess me again, I want to feel it wrap around me and fill me until I choke on it.

I want the thrill of being unstoppable again.


This gave me chills, there's no other way of putting it, and I'm just in awe of your talent here. Gellert's euphoria at finding the Elder Wand, the sense of invincibility which echoes through every word - this is phenomenal writing.

that as much as I might have been the dawn, you were the sunset. This is such an incredible line to end on. I sound like a stuck record but your writing is absolutely mindblowing and this chapter goes above and beyond anything I expected.

Author's Response: Hi Lisa! :D Okay, okay, you're going to have to forgive me on this one because I really have absolutely no idea how on earth I'm going to respond to this properly. English has abandoned me (I joke, but seriously, there are no words *hug*).

I really, really love writing Gellert. Well, both of them really, but there's something almost freeing about writing someone who just doesn't care and is so unapologetic about the way he is and what he enjoys and the things he does and has done. It's so much fun, and I liked getting the chance in this chapter to show him being, well, a bit more of a dark lord :P

Thank you so so much - this was a scene I knew I had to write from the beginning, and I looked forward to it so much, even though it wasn't very far in, so I'm just so so glad you liked it, really :)

It's strange, actually, because that's one of the few lines I've ever written before the rest of the chapter :P I just liked the metaphor too much - I like colours and references to colours, so it sort of came from there :)

Thank you so so much for the incredible review, and I'm really sorry for the awful response in return :)

Aph xx


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Review #4, by Dojh167 

17th May 2015:
I'm really enjoying how you're separating Albus' chapters to be about language and Gellert's chapter to be about places. It really helps define each of the characters, especially because their tones can sometimes feel similar, what with all the angsting.

FIRE. Yeah, I liked that description. All of your descriptions are fabulous, and as the other recent descriptions have been about landscapes, this one really powerfully stands out and is a powerful chapter opener. I really get a sense that with each of these descriptions we are getting a deeper look into Gellert's character. At first his description of Wales was surprising, as I had not to be so romantic and affectionate of the country. Now this description of fire and dragons brings in that layer of passionate darkness into his character. Your descriptions are not just about setting up the world of the action, but really the world of the character and the unique way that they experience that world. I'm a fan.

The way you distinguish between the torment of nightmares and of daydreams/memories is tragically beautiful.

Other quotes I loved (because there are so many): "passing them backwards and forwards in some meaningless, unspoken competition."
"Beyond that, far into anger, the flashes in my mind of flames and smoke speak to me of fury and grief and all the power I had ever possessed."
"I had not yet gained anything other than tired bones, a stolen horse and a growing tendency to talk to myself."
"Ah, freedom: for you a burden you bear only grudgingly, a pleasure you insist on denying to yourself, and for me it is the drug I crave more desperately than any other. How we are different, Albus. How we always were."
"but magic all the same. It was tough, hardy and it sunk into the walls of the houses, making their white-painted stone gleam, turning each crude building into its own castle."
" Or did your courage die at the end of that summer, cradled so delicately in the girlís hands as she fell?"

The way that Gellert blames Albus for holding him to the ideals he created for himself, "These emotions, they are not for you, not for who you .want to become, and so I am not allowed them too" is really fabulously nuanced.

I also really enjoyed the section in which Gellert reaffirms that they had been "our" plans, and his certainty that one way or another he would have Albus back.

Fabulous rhythm here: "urging me on to run, to go, go now, faster and faster, not to stop, not to breathe"

I personally find it a little offputting that writers are giving so many characters the ability of flight, when in the books I got the sense that that was a very special ability that Voldemort had developed, and it kind of cheapens it with overuse by other characters. But maybe you'll make this pay off.

It is very powerful how Gellert is already prepared to fight Albus on his vision, though I can't help but wonder why he thinks he will have to. If I am following the narrative correctly, at this point Albus had not spoken out in any way against Gellert's plans, and their separation was based on the tragedy of Adriana, not a difference in beliefs.

I read much of this chapter out loud. It is written in such a raw personal tone that it feels more natural to me this way than on the page. This would read really well as an audiobook.

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Review #5, by nott theodore 

13th April 2015:
Laura ♥ (This review is taking me a ridiculously long time to write because I keep getting distracted, and I'm also very tired so keep reading things wrong in this chapter, but I'm finally here :P But just a warning in advance if this review is worse than usual and even more rambly...)

The opening of this was just... wow. There was a real shift in tone there from the last time we saw Gellert in this story, when he seemed more wistful and nostalgic. Here he really seems to have been ensnared by the lure of power and he's consumed with it completely, going down that path even though he knows where it will lead him.

Also, the imagery in that opening section. I mean, your description is always stunning and beautiful, but the imagery there was just incredible. I reread it a couple of times, just thinking over the way that you used fire and all the things it could symbolise in this story (which I'm not going to list, because I'm sure you know them all and were intending them to be there when you wrote it, so). It was just really powerful and evocative to me, and to open the chapter with that just gave it such an impact.

I think that in this chapter we seem to get more of an insight into the differences between Gellert and Albus, too, and especially the ways that they grew apart after going their separate ways. Gellert can't stand being still; he's the sort of person who always has to have a purpose, a motive for doing something, and he wants the sense of power that being able to move around gives him. Stripping away his independence and freedom when he's imprisoned after being defeated in the duel is the worst thing that could happen to him, and I loved the way that you touched on that. You've thought so deeply into these characters and know them so well, and it really comes across in your writing.

There was also a real shift in the way that Gellert thinks about Albus in this chapter, too - a lot more bitterness and some jealousy, too. Albus is the one who, though he's often content to sit in contemplation, still has his freedom while Gellert's in prison. And Gellert seems to be very ambitious but also tries to be true to himself, in a way; he's kind of ideological in his plans for domination and power. Because of that it's even worse to him when Albus disassociates himself (as much as possible) from the schemes and dreams that the two of them once had. There's a lot of bitterness and resentment towards Albus because of that, I think, and Gellert's trying to convince himself that he doesn't feel anything for Albus anymore, but the fact that his thoughts come back to him so constantly throughout the course of the chapter proves that he's not fallen out of love with him.

Is it okay to say that I also found it a little scary to see how well you managed to capture Gellert's mindset when he was setting out on his plan for world domination? :P You capture him so well in this, and you could really feel the greed and determination there.

I loved, once again, the way that you segued from one location to the next. Bulgaria comes into play, and Bulgaria's the natural next step because we know that Gellert stole the Elder Wand when he was still a young man, so it makes sense for him to then go there - in search of something, with a purpose. The sorts of things he needs to distract him from thoughts of Albus, really.

I could have probably drooled over that last section for the amazing description and imagery that was contained in it. I won't, partly because I'd want to analyse every line and I don't have anywhere near enough characters for that, but seriously, Laura - how do you keep doing this? Throughout this chapter - the fire, the hunter imagery, and then the sky, something that encompasses the two of them no matter where they are. And those last two lines... just, erm, wow. I don't actually know what else to say.

This was really beautiful, as always, and I apologise now for the complete confusion that this review must be because my brain is slowly shutting down as I write it :P

Sian :)

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Review #6, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap 

13th March 2015:
Anger, hot and strong, burns through my veins, and I can only think that the fire down below is a reflection of my soul. There is no pity, no mercy; only their unavoidable destiny, creeping ever closer.

No lie he creeps me out a little bit. I donít know why! I just feel this dark soul about him and it unsettles me.

Some days, Albus, I think I hate you. Others, I know that I do.

I was going to pick out another sentence before this but I couldnít stop contemplating this in my mind. Some days, I think I hate you. Yeah, I get it. Weíve all been there. At least, I have. I realize they didnít go through a normal Ďbreak-up,í if thatís what weíre going to call it because they werenít necessary together. They were always hidden, not entirely straight forward to the world and themselves about their feelings but it still hurts. It was still real.

I would, I knew then, lead the world into a new age, raise the revolution which would reform the world, reform order and society.

Heís almost a mad man, almost. In reality heís childish. He thinks he could do all these things and would have all this power and everything would fall into place. They were both just not living in reality and I guess once reality hit (for Albus it came with his sisterís death) but did reality ever hit Gellert? I donít know. I donít think so.

Perhaps I should have thought of that then, that as much as I might have been the dawn, you were the sunset.

Beautiful.

Author's Response: Hi again! :) Thank you so much for coming back to this! It means so much!

Haha, don't worry about it - he is a little creepy at times. A little too zealous. And angry. Very angry. I liked bringing out a first glimpse at perhaps a darker side of him than in previous chapters, though; it was an interesting different side to explore.

I think, in a way, the secrecy almost makes it hurt more, because you can't really tell people you're hurt, you know? You can't be sad and explain to people why and get sympathy and be comforted for it. You have to sort of try and heal on your own in silence - though it definitely wasn't a normal break-up in any way, and the relationship was very real for both of them, for sure! :)

One of the things which I love with this, with some of Gellert's more political-centric opinions, is the different ways people read it, you know? He is a bit mad and a bit childish, but it's a very zealous, revolutionary-type idea, wanting to change the world and believing it's possible. Albus is a lot more cautious than Gellert (and a lot less inclined to dramatics, in a way :P), so yeah, he gets a big dose of realism and steps away, but for Gellert, he still believes in it.

Thank you! :) I loved writing that line - I actually wrote that metaphor at the beginning of the chapter, haha, and kept it on the document all the time until I got to the part it was needed for :P

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review, again! :)

Aph xx


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Review #7, by pottered  

22nd February 2015:
I'm rendered speechless again. I loved the way you described Gellert's feelings, his triumphs and his fears as well, and the way he missed Albus. The saddest part to read was when he's in his prison and: some days, Albus, I think I hate you. Others, I know I do. It broke me. but I don't blame him, I mean if I were Gellert, I would feel like that too.

Author's Response: Hi there again! :) Thank you so much for stopping by!

I'm so glad you like this chapter - this is one of the ones I really enjoyed writing so it means so much for you to like it! I really wanted to show that the loss is not one-sided, it's double-sided, and so yeah, Gellert feels it too, only he reacts differently to it. I know, I'm sorry! It's such a harsh line, but yeah, I think it's an understandable emotion, and a kind of natural reaction, to the whole imprisonment thing - how he's locked up, by Albus, while Albus is free, at least Gellert sees him as free.

Thank you so much for the wonderful review, as always! :)

Aph xx


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Review #8, by marauderfan 

13th December 2014:
Swap!

Gaaa, your first paragraph (well, really the whole story, but especially that first paragraph) is SO vivid and really incredible!

Reading this makes me seriously wonder... are you a philosopher? Perhaps a reincarnation of Socrates? :P I love Gellert's opinions on passion and anger, and that bit at the end of the first section just rings of truth - it is easy to understand why he would hate Albus for they had the same past, the same feelings and craving for power, but now it's only Gellert who must sit and watch idly from prison while Albus tries to erase who he was, remove those feelings and move forward creating something new.

Then, I was nothing and everything, no one and everyone, a living dimorphism in myself. ... AH! I love this.

It was really cool to see the way you incorporated Gellert's theft of the Elder Wand into this - since there was a brief mention of the photograph in the Deathly Hallows, this takes that one moment and adds so much to it, putting life into the photograph, as it were.

I think your biggest strength in this story is the way you present your ideas. Although it is a story about Grindelwald and Dumbledore, even more than that it's a story about big ideas and life and love and success and betrayal. I feel like when I'm reading it, I'm seeing ideas that are true of course but I'd never thought about them in that way before. I loved the first section about anger, and then Gellert's considering of freedom in the second half. That whole piece about him travelling and then stealing the wand and escaping on the wind, just spoke freedom to me. You use your words so beautifully - I don't know how you do it!

That last line too, about Gellert as the dawn and Albus being the sunset. Incredible.

Thanks for the swap!! ♥

Author's Response: Hai - thanks so much for the swap too! I always love swapping with you - your writing is so lovely and the reviews you give are amazing! :)

I'm so glad you liked it - I really loved writing that first section, it was so much fun to do, and it's one of the few things I've written that I still like :P

Haha, thank you so much - it's incredibly, amazingly flattering - but no, I'm not much of a philosopher. Never studied it, in fact :P Yeah, exactly my thoughts! :) Gellert's really not one for sitting still somewhere, unless it benefits him somehow, so it's completely alien to him - and it's just so much worse that Albus is free... even if he's not really, Gellert chooses to ignore that bit :P

I'm so glad you liked that! I was worried it would be too little for a full chapter of its own, but then I had no idea what else to include with it, you know? So I just left it... yeah, one of the things I love about this story is being able to expand on the small moments we hear about in canon, like with this chapter. Though it was hard keeping it in line with canon without the books :P

Thank you so much! :) I felt that with them it was kinda appropriate to make it something more, because they'd both think of it as something more, you know? To them, it's not just a romance, so I didn't want to write just a romance, it wouldn't have been enough... I actually really liked writing this whole chapter - with the character exposition, and the freedom theme and everything, it was something I'd wanted to include for a while, so I was so glad I'd got to do it - and I'm so happy you like it! :)

You know, it's funny, that line I actually wrote at the beginning of the chapter, I think just before I went to sleep one night, so it's a really random thing, but I loved the metaphor too much to leave it out, so I'm so glad you liked it!

Thank you so much for both the review and the swap - you're amazing! :) :)

Aph xx


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Review #9, by AlexFan 

31st October 2014:
So sorry for taking so long but Iíve had a lot of homework in the past week and I havenít had any free time!

I can definitely see what you mean about this chapter being more character heavy than the previous three. But I speak for myself when I say that I really enjoyed it, I didnít find it at all boring. I feel like when youíre telling a story that is based almost entirely on a personís memories, lots of imagery is whatís going to be needed. It just feels like it makes it really obvious that the story is being told through the memories of a character. When you look back on things that happened, you tend to pay more attention to the details and everything around you.

Whenever I read this story I feel like Iím in a memory, it feels like everything that Iím reading is something that happened to me personally, even though I know itís not, and it makes me weirdly nostalgic for events that never happened. My favourite bit had to be in the end where Grindelwald was comparing him to a sunrise and how it signified his leadership into this new world that it had in mind, my favourite line had to be the very last one where he describes Albus and compares him to sunset. I donít know why but it just really stuck with me out of all of the other lines in the chapter.

I like how you went into detail about Grindelwald stealing the wand, there was some information given in the series about what happened on the day that Grindelwald stole the Elder Wand but it feels completely different seeing the same incident from the actual characterís point of view.

Author's Response: Hi there - thanks so much for dropping by! :) And no worries about taking your time - stuff comes up for everyone ;)

Gah, thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it - I was so nervous about this chapter, with the sort of semi-character study in it, and lots of exposition and internal monologue and things. I think it's definitely true that looking back on things, you see things you didn't see before, and your brain also fills things in for you ;)

Haha, sorry about that :P Hopefully it'll stop before we get to the heavier stuff and the war and so on, otherwise that could get awkward! ;) I really loved writing that ending line! It was actually one of the things I wrote first for this chapter, and then it went at the end.

Yeah, it was one of the few canon moments we have about what they did in the intervening time, after they separated, and before the war, and so I really wanted to include it, because there's not many of those moments. I'm so glad you liked it, though! :)

Thank you so much for the lovely review - it was such a great thing to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #10, by newgenerationlover 

11th October 2014:
Ok, so first off let me congratulate you on your Dobby win!! *hugs* You deserve it, Aph. Your writing is truly amazing! Secondly, thank god for the BvB battle cause it made me visit your page, which, in turn, made me see that you had updated. Sque!!!

Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top teach a writing class. I need to know how to write so well!!! *cries* This whole chapter (read: everything you have ever written. ever.) is not only utterly eloquent in every fashion, but you so perfectly show your characters and all their thoughts, feelings and emotions. You are da bomb dot com. That is all.

Dear god. Is it bad that I want to hug him as well as run away in fear at the same time?? Goodness me, if he is going to kill hundreds at the tip of the hat, I don't know how close I would like to get to him no matter how much I want to fix his *cue baby voice* wittle hweart.

So who is this guy who they killed anyway?? Am I missing something or are you being all mysterious like and just keeping it a secret? Whomever (whoever? eh whatever) he killed must have been important. A friend? A mentor? A brother? A *wiggles eyebrows* lover?? Telll meee!!

Oooo the elder wand. Fancy. This part made me giggle: 'I was to be the sun, heralding the new age, bringing the light and the day and all the beauty and certainty it possessed.' He sure has the ego, doesn't he? :P He reminds me of Oedipus pre-finding out he killed his father and made babies with his mama.

Gosh, my heart broke when he said, "Some days, Albus, I think I hate you. Others, I know that I do." NOO! YOU DON'T HATE HIM!! YOU LOVE HIM! HE IS YOUR SOUL MATE! YOUR STAR CROSSED LOVER!! *falls into a heap and sobs* Why, Aph?? Why are you giving me the feels??

Ok well until next time!

xoxo
Mary

Author's Response: Hey there, Mary - thank you so much for stopping by! :) And THANK YOU! :D :D I'm just so completely blown away by it - and so honoured! I never in a million years expected to win, so I'm just so grateful to everyone who voted and nominated and everything :) Thank you! :D

Okay, okay, maybe! *dodges rotten fruit* :P Honestly, though, I take so long writing, it's not necessarily a good thing ;) I'm just so so glad you like it - I'm never really sure how much is too much, you know? And you're far, far too kind to me. Like seriously. Stahp :D

Not really, haha! Yeah, I really wanted to bring in the whole darker aspect of him in this, hence the fire thing - and it's one of my favourite scenes I've written, tbh. It was just so much fun! Though no, I wouldn't necessarily recommend getting that close - unless you had Dumbledore with you ;)

Yeah, I'm deliberately keeping it a secret, you didn't miss anything! :P You'll find out later, once we get to the war and all, but for now, it's a secret. Feel free to theorise all you like! :D But they're definitely important to him. Like, super important! ;) (Does that help? Probably not much... :P)

I just had to write a scene of him stealing the elder wand! :P Couldn't resist at all... and yeah, he has a very healthy ego at least :P It is a bit Oedipal in that respect, lol, yeah! I didn't think of that before, but I like it! :D

I'm so sorry! :( I didn't mean to! Blame Gellert! But, I guess I could say that love and hate are not always mutually exclusive feelings, if that helps? ;) It may not be for forever!

Thank you so so much for the sweet review - it was such a lovely thing to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #11, by crestwood 

26th September 2014:
Hi Laura!

I've never read any depiction of Grindelwald's point of view before, so I can't be entirely sure, but something tells me that the typical portrayal is not half as sophisticated as you've managed to make it here.

Before I even begin to attempt to review this I just have to ask, do you, have you ever or do you ever plan to write original fiction? The way you write deserves to make you a lot of money. In fact, when you request these reviews and tell me that you're worried about certain aspects, I deliberately approach reading the chapters with a mind ready to find mistakes and explain something I'd do a bit different or just want I'd prefer to read. There's almost always some suggestion I could offer when given specific areas of concern, but you have stumped me. So, instead I will spend this review pointing out the ways you have written something that I do not find fault with at all.

First, you mentioned worrying about the characterization and I have to say.. there is no need to. You're correct in calling this chapter a character study of sorts. It's certainly character-driven and depends heavily on our interest in the inner workings of Gellert's mind and what he was feeling and going through during this time period. Because you've been pacing yourself so well and taking us through both Albus and Gellert's minds up until this point, we're already very acquainted and familiar with who he is and I can't speak for anyone else, but I am really intrigued by his point of view. We never get to hear his side of the story in canon and no matter how dark or sinister he can be, he does have a viewpoint in all of this. You've done this amazing job depicting him as someone who has that darkness, who is completely unabashed to be enthralled by power. But, you've also given him this human center, highlighted each and every time he mentions or thinks about Albus. It's such a fine line to walk, but you have managed to emphasize his capacity for love and evil and all of the contradictions that I believe he'd feel because of that. I don't think I'll ever be able to separate this Grindelwald from how I read him in canon.

As for the plot, I loved the stealing of the Elder Wand. A story about that alone would have drawn me in, but the way you've written it is special because you haven't just described the events, but given us such an insight into the way it was stolen and the way Grindelwald felt before, during and after. I feel like I'm quite literally inside of his head in real time as thoughts fly left and right.

And because you mentioned the language, I will include what I thought. I was very happy to see that someone else had nominated this story for the Best Quote Dobby before me, enabling me to simply second their nomination, because I never would have been capable of choosing only one passage to single out. You write as if the shaping of words was what you were born to do. The fact that you are writing what are essentially two absolute geniuses is never allowed to be forgotten because the language they use, the sheer gravity of their words is all too present. I can't give you an example of every sentence I enjoyed for fear of nearing the character limit, but I will pick a few out to just sing your praises.

"Then, I was nothing and everything, no one and everyone, a living dimorphism in myself" - Here is that duality of this character that I mentioned earlier. Absolutely beautiful.

"Did you think of that, in your grand scheme to hide yourself from the world? Or did your courage die at the end of that summer, cradled so delicately in the girlís hands as she fell?" He's almost taunting Albus now. The bitterness is very clearly expressed without an explicit 'he said, bitterly.' Oh, how easy you make this look.

"It would be difficult, a path strewn with dangers (of course, for what revolution is without peril?) but I would match it, whatever came my way, and the glory in the end would be worth all the cost of the beginning." This passage is a summation of the entire 'Greater Good' philosophy in only so many words. I do not think one could write the underlying idea behind everything Gellert believed in any better than this. I don't know where you learned to wield the English language like this, but I think any writer on this site that wants to learn the correct way to write an internal monologue should be referred to this story. I really do apologize about my lack of helpful criticism, but sometimes things are just beyond my ability to find fault. Just brilliance all around. Thank you for requesting.

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