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3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CambAngst 

15th August 2015:
Hi, pix! I'm making my way through the author pages of everyone who signed up for GryCReMo because... well, because I needed to start somewhere. Allow me to pause for a moment to keep my own little count:

GryCReMo (Review #14)

It's been quite a while since I've poked my head into your rabbity world, but you'd be amazed how fast it all came back to me.

Sloan. Man, that guy is a jerk! Now he's a vampire rabbit-enthralled jerk, to boot. I do not like him getting Wren and Albus in trouble. Not one bit.

I thought you did a fantastic job with Neville in this chapter. I love the way he struggles with the cognitive dissonance of trying to be an adult authority figure while simultaneously recalling the fact that all of the adult authority figures at Hogwarts during his own school years were -- to put it bluntly -- pretty much useless. Seriously. Aside from Dumbledore's "holy crap, how did that even work?" master plan for Harry's defeat of Voldemort, I can't think of a single situation where the adults in books one through six did anything other than slow Harry and his friends down. Now poor Neville is trying to justify to himself how he can follow proper procedure when his daughter is claiming to be confronting her own mysterious dangers and he can't quite do it. Good on you, Neville! Be the Hogwarts Adult who finally breaks the mold and doesn't end up looking like a fool.

Nigel Summers had yet to be given a detentionee, and even though he was technically an intern, he was also the part-time caretaker. He would have plenty for them to do. -- Gah! Neville, take off the Bad Idea Jeans, man!

"There really is a giant rabbit in the Restricted Section. Or it might not even be a rabbit anymore... if it ever was one. It's huge and it smells bad, and it's dangerous. We were going to tell you about it first thing this morning anyway. Please, you have to do something about it!" -- OK, yeah Putting myself in Neville's shoes for a moment, that is quite a bit to take in before breakfast. Maybe I'll cut him some slack here.

Moving right along, we find a small collection of creepy people being creepy together in a dark, claustrophobic, creepy place. Even when he's being enthralled, Sloan can't stop being an egotistical, self-important, whiny jerk. "Why do you need other friends, Dillon? Why not just use me up and drink me dry instead?" That actually sounds appealing, if only the consumption would stop with Sloan.

"Looks like you brought the fun back with you," Trudy said, sliding off her bed and scooping up a bottle from Rose's desk. She squinted at the label, and then dug around in one of her drawers for a tea cup. -- Note to self: Do not party with this Trudy girl.

Even though she's going about it in a very annoying way, I'm glad to see that Rose is trying to help Wren. She just needs to get over herself first in order to do it, which seems like a bit of a stretch when she's full of James Potter Rule-Breaking Glory. Oddly enough, she does seem to get over herself once Wren starts to spill. I definitely see a lot of Hermione in Rose. Turn something into an adventure and she gets excited about the project, even if it's not very safe.

Finally! Neville is armed with evidence and he's on their side. I'm really intrigued to see how that works out for him. He's definitely tougher than Pince or Summers. Hopefully he can start to put things right before they get a lot more wrong.

Lastly, we have the Smeed and Burns show. Have I mentioned that sometimes they give me this vibe that sort of reminds me of Statler and Waldorf from the Muppet Show? I have no earthly idea where that's coming from, but it's a thing with me. Don't judge. Smeed seems to be one piece of information away from figuring out what's going on. He hasn't managed to tie the rabbits together with Dillon. Once he makes that leap, I think the rest is going to come together for him.

He thought back to the strange, yet familiar presence he'd felt when he met Hannah's daughter. -- This takes me back to Dillon's memories of his mother. What if she was in some sort of trouble with the vampire community. What if that's why Smeed finds this "presence" that he feels around Wren familiar? Just a passing thought...

Awesome job with this! I will be back as I try to climb this mountain of reviewing!

Author's Response:

Hi Dan! Fancy seeing you 'round these parts!

I'm so glad you're participating in the reviewathon. I've pretty much given up on maintaining a frenetic pace with it, and as you know, I have a hard time reviewing and writing at the same time. Hopefully, I'll be able to continue reviewing through the last of my revisions, since the writing bit is finished.

Ahh, balance.

Sloan = jerk. Yep. That's about it.

Neville. Poor guy. I hated putting him in this position. Of all people, he would understand from personal experience how difficult it is to get adults to take you seriously when things go square, but Wren's put him in a real bind, and her explanations taken at face value do seem quite ridiculous. Ah, I did that on purpose. Bad me.

Rose. I know I haven't made her the most sympathetic friend in the world. Actually, she's close to being a jerk herself, without the outward "meaning to be a jerk". I felt like I needed to do something different with her from what we usually see, and also giving her that self-centered vibe would make Scorpius think twice about trying anything. Either that, or he just goes for antagonistic girls in general. Hmm... stop making me rethink my story when I'm almost done!! :P

Ah haha! Trudy. You know those people that you have to be around so you just put up with them even though you have almost nothing in common with them and you don't hate them but you can't seem to warm up to them either? I think they're making the best of things.

Heeheee! The Smeed and Burns show. That should be my next fic. Oh, and there's a small reason for that familiarity. Now I have to go back and see if that bit was edited out, or if it comes up later. It was a small thing, but it popped into my head and made all kinds of sense later. *flips through document* ... I have no idea where it went. I'll look it up later.

Good luck on climbing that mountain! You are fantastic for this!


Pix


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Review #2, by BellatrixLover3 

9th September 2014:
Love the chapter as always! Read some of your other stories. I have three chapters up for Dark Heart and one is waiting for validation.

Author's Response: Hey,

Thanks for reading and leaving me a note.

Happy writing!


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Review #3, by MargaretLane 

24th August 2014:
I should probably be writing myself, but since I'm not entirely sure where I'm going at the moment, I'm going to read this instead.

*laughs at Neville's reluctance to deal with rule breaking at 5am* I can't say I blame him, especially since breaking curfew is a pretty minor issue really.

And I'm also amused at how he doesn't blame James's head of house for needing a break.

It must be hard for Neville to deal with situations relating to his own daughter. Obviously, he has to treat her the same way he would any other student, even though he's likely to have a better understanding of what might be affecting her behaviour.

And that would be awkward even if she wasn't his daughter: knowing a particular student is unlikely to lie about something like this but that the alternative is a member of staff lying and in a situation where they'd have absolutely no motivation for doing so (as far as he knows). The fact she's his daughter makes it much worse, of course, as he's going to have even more reason to know she can be believed than a normal student, though I'd imagine that in a boarding school, the staff would know their students pretty well by the time they reached sixth year.

Hmm, Ian appears to be affected by the rabbits, which means it's unlikely it's just people the opposite gender to Dillon, which throws me back on my other theory about it being people who have some form of unhappiness or "need" the rabbits for some reason. I like that idea. as it ties the two plots together - the one about the rabbits and the one about Wren's unhappiness over what happened to her grandparents and so on.

Oh dear, even though Neville is inclined to take Wren seriously, she still feels he doesn't believe her.

Rose is being rather selfish and childish here - getting annoyed because Wren talked to somebody else.

Yikes, this last part sounds pretty serious.

And the part about having the decency to cover their tracks amused me. As if it would be fine to leave people to die so long as you covered your tracks.

I'm assuming a rabbit bit them.

Author's Response: Hi!

Sometimes our muse requests a break. I tend to listen to mine now, which is why I'm slowing down.

Neville has a quandary. He knows his daughter, and he has professional obligations too. I wanted him to be sympathetic and protective, but still have doubts about the best way to handle things.

I'm glad that the plots are starting to tie together for you. Wren, rabbits, Dillon... it's not as tight as an Oreo cookie, but I hope the connection comes out clear eventually.

Yeah, Rose. I don't know what to do with her sometimes.

Ah, yes. It's proper and decent to cover your tracks. Anyone who doesn't is just a barbarian. The shame! I don't want these guys as my next door neighbors, that's for sure!

Thanks for another lovely review! It's always great to see your thoughts about this story.

Until next time!


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