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15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Unwritten Curse 

9th January 2016:
Here again for the Gryffindor Review Battle. Team Gold for the win!

I LOVED THIS CHAPTER. This is what I was missing last chapter--more Olivia narration, and such CLEVER narration, too. I especially liked the bit about the Slytherin Common Room and how Olivia thinks that Potions is like art. That was cool.

AND OMG MORE ALBUS/OLIVIA. I'm beginning to think that my wishes will be fulfilled and I am seriously so thrilled that that's the case. I like seeing them at Hogwarts together. I think my general preference is HP fanfiction set at Hogwarts. After reading seven (or, rather, six and part of the seventh) books set at Hogwarts, it feels like a comfort zone to me. I'm sure you have similar feelings. So now that the setting has moved to Hogwarts, I'm even more excited to see what happens next. Olivia and Al are in close quarters now, and it seems they'll also have Prefect rounds together. The perfect recipe for love.

I'm so torn now. I should really make dinner but I'm worried about Cass now. If she is pregnant, it's not a good thing that she's entirely vanished. I didn't realize that NO ONE knew where she was. How scary. I hope she's okay.

One more chapter…

--Gina

Author's Response: Totally know what you mean about Hogwarts feeling more comfortable than elsewhere. It's nice to write so completely in JK's world.

Thanks for all these reviews - it's so lovely to hear what you think.

Emma xx


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Review #2, by TidalDragon 

19th January 2015:
Howdy Emma! I know it's been forever coming, but here I finally am following through on those reviews I owe you from my challenge. And wouldn't you know, now there's enough chapters up to blitz straight through. Believe me when I say though that I really am sorry for how long it's taken. It's awful really as when I started the challenge I promised I would never be one of THOSE people who took 8,000,000 years to pay out their prizes (if ever). Blarg.

ANYWAY, it's really good to come back to this story after some time away. It's so impressive that it won a Dobby, but the differentiation you created between the characters makes it clear why. I know the award itself was a testament to the dialogue specifically, but I don't think that happens without the other piece.

Here we didn't get to see AS many characters, but the ones we did get a glimpse of maintained that differentiability. I think the one I liked most was Slughorn. You handled both his favoritism and his oblique, yet firm insistence on things great I thought.

The great mystery of course is whether/when Cassie will return. I do hope we get some excellent exploration of that side of things in the future (though I'm confident you will) and that she returns because though I DID enjoy the banter between Olivia and Scorpius at the top, it's a different dynamic with Cassie in the mix too.

See you in the next chapter.

Author's Response: Hi Kevin!

Don't worry at all! I absolutely loved the challenge and you didn't have to offer so many reviews in return! The wait is absolutely no problem.

I'm glad you like Slughorn. At some point I want to edit this and change who the teachers are and some little things so that it fits into the same universe as 'Victoire', but I did have a lot of fun writing Slughorn even though he's maybe not a character I'd choose to include again.

Emma x


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Review #3, by Veritaserum27 

20th September 2014:
Hi Emma,

Here for another chapter. This was great. I love the way that Ollie is subtlety starting to empathize with Albus. You did a fantastic job with this. I like how you didn't state it outright, but instead gave us little hints at how she noticed his face looked and his actions (shaking hands, raised voice). At the same time, she still harbors some ill-will because Albus is obviously favored by Slughorn.

I also love how we are learning more and more about Cassie's character, even though she isn't in the last two chapters. I think a lot of her personality traits are because she feels abandoned by her parents - or maybe her parents were just too horrible to live with and that is why she's with her brother.

Ok. So now I'm really starting to worry about Cassie. I hope at least Andreas knows where she is. I also noticed the hint you dropped with the empty wrapper of the fake cigarettes. Nice job with that.

I caught one typo in this line:

I was surprised. I hadn't expected him to bother sticking up for him.

I think you mean the last word to be "me" not "him."

What's this? Ollie a prefect? Well, this should prove to be interesting...

Beth

Author's Response: Hello again :)

I'm glad you pointed out how Ollie's starting to empathise with Albus. I think she's getting sucked into caring about him without really realising. But she's convinced he's not the type of person she likes spending time with.

Cassie's a difficult character, and although her family situation probably does explain some of her behaviour I think a lot of it still isn't really acceptable. But Ollie and Scor adore her.

More on her disappearance in the next few chapters :)

Oo, thanks for pointing out the typo. I'll come back and edit that asap.

Thanks so much for reviewing!

Emma xx


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Review #4, by CambAngst 

16th September 2014:
I'm back! You could not get rid of me at this point if you tried.

I've never felt closer to Olivia than I did at the start of this chapter. In addition to any other similarities, I also hate running. Passionately. I would not take well to Scorpius's health kick. I did, however, enjoy the mental image of him carrying her around on his shoulder. And stealing his food was pretty good revenge. Just annoying enough to matter.

Anyway, the story goes that the other potential Common Rooms they considered put up a protest and disappeared as soon as they were suggested. The Castle doesn’t like change, so we’re stuck shivering together with the damp and the dark. Cassie says it’s a bonding experience. -- I loved this. Start to finish!

It eventually turned up underneath Cassie’s bed, beside a pair of discarded silver stilettos she’d borrowed from me several months ago and a crumpled packet of fake cigarettes from Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes. -- Hang on a sec. Am I reading too much into that cigarette pack? Because I could have sworn we didn't see those for the first time until Scorpius and Olivia were hiding inside WWW over the holiday break...

I thought Slughorn was very Slug-like, with his blatant favoritism and glad-handedness toward Albus. Anything to ingratiate himself to the son of the Chosen One. It seemed like things were going swimmingly between Albus and Olivia until Scorpius decided to be, well, Scorpius. That boy needs to let go of the hate. The whole fiasco did give Albus another chance to show Olivia his noble side.

Ooh! So Cassie is completely MIA? That's intriguing. The obvious possibility that pops into my mind is the creepy Flint guy they went to the dance club with. Although he's a friend of Cassie's brother, so I'd think Andreas would figure it out somehow if Creepy Flint was involved. Or maybe I'm being way too quick to jump to nefarious conclusions. Time will tell, I suppose.

Again, you did a good job with the letter. It felt so personal and familiar, especially the way that she expects Cassie to laugh at her for being tapped to take over Cassie's prefect duties.

I'm really enjoying your story! Can't wait to find out what's happened to Cassie!

Author's Response: Hello again! I always get really excited when I see reviews from you :)

I absolutely sympathise with Olivia's hatred of running. I've been trying to work towards a 10k and EVERY SINGLE TIME I feel like I'm going to collapse and maybe die. I just don't know if it's worth it. But yes, Scor carrying Ollie is sweet and food stealing is definitely good enough revenge.

I don't know where the Common Room idea came from but I really enjoyed it so I'm glad you mentioned it :)

As for the cigarettes.it's good to see that you're thinking about everything, but no spoilers. But yes, we saw them for the first time in the break.

I struggled a bit writing Slughorn, because he was the first character I had to work with that we see quite a bit of in canon. I'm glad you found him convincing.

Scorpius should definitely go a bit easier on Al, but Al deals with it well (ish) considering everything.

Thank you so much for another amazing review! I feel like maybe you got a bad deal swapping with me because your reviews are much higher quality than mine, but thank you thank you thank you for all your feedback. I really appreciate it.

Emma x


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Review #5, by Gabriella Hunter 

14th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums of course, dumping this review on you and its good to be back. I'm really curious on where Cassie might be, I thought that she might have shown up by this chapter but she's still missing. I have a feeling that something is seriously wrong but I know that you'll clear that up in a next chapter, which I can hardly wait for. The teachers have noticed though so I'm sure that its a lot more serious than just skipping school. And I haven't forgotten about James either, I'm curious to know what he and Cassie have going on or what their history might be. Hm...

Anyway, I really loved the opening of this chapter, Scor and Olivia are hilarious. I could feel her pain when she was running though, I felt the same when I was in bootcamp and its not a pleasant sensation, having your legs turn to jelly. Hahahaha. I think that it was SO adorable that Scor actually picked her up though, I seriously want something to happen between them but alas, it might not. :( Anyway, I liked your Potions scene as well. I'm not really keen on writing those sort of scenes since Potions was something that I never latched onto while reading the HP books but my goodness! Albus, the poor thing! I wonder what's going on with him and isn't Slughorn awful? I swear that his favoritism is something that I always disliked about his character and its obvious that Albus isn't too fond of him either. >.>

Anyway, Albus and Olivia worked together as a good team until Scor interrupted. I mean, what was that all about? I didn't think that he had it in him to be that mean for no reason. I'd like an explanation, I think it was uncalled for and I felt sorry for Albus.

Now, Slughorn sort of bullied Olivia into becoming a Prefect though. Its really not fair that she had to be the one to do it instead of someone else filling in and I'm curious to see how it goes for her! Ah, I hope we see more Albus in the next chapter...

So, all in all this was a good chapter! I didn't spot any major CC's or anything. It went by a bit fast but otherwise, I loved it. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!

Thanks so much for the review. I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter.

It's good to hear you're thinking about where Cassie could be...I'm afraid it might stay a mystery for a while though.

Writing Scor and Olivia is really satisfying. I really enjoy writing brother/sister type friendships and Scor is inspired by a lot of people I know well. I think they're very much a platonic friendship though. Sorry :(

And yes, Scor was really quite horrible to Al. To Scor it just seems like Al has things easy. They've both got their own problems with their families and don't really see eye to eye.

Thanks for taking the time to review. I really appreciate it :)

Emma x


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Review #6, by Kira 

12th September 2014:
Al definitely has Harry's temper!

And now they're going to be prefects together as well as potions partners.

I'm sensing something's going to happen between Ollie and Al soon.

But still no Cassie? I want to know where she is!

Kira xoxo

Author's Response: I thought at least one of Harry's kids would be likely to inherit his temper, especially given that Ginny has her angry moments as well.

And next chapter has some more interaction between Ollie and Al :)

Much love,

Emma xx


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Review #7, by Roisin 

9th September 2014:
This chapter was EXCELLENT! Really, really great!

"Scor kept running. Because he’s evil."--LOVED THAT! You wavered between comedy and seriousness so masterfully! And I love Ollie's easy friendship with Scor. PLUS, that whole thing about borrowing/stealing clothes came up again! It's such a thing! Clothing is kind of a *collectively* owned thing among girls, and they just sort of share everything.

And I just LOVED the thing about almost switching Slythering commons, but the castle protesting! There were so many fab details in this chapter!

WEASLEY WIZARD FALSE CIGARETTES! So now I'm basically convinced that Cass is pregnant. I suspected in chapter two, and now that I THINK about it, the shots she drank were "clear." WATER?!?!?!

You bring all of the threads of this story together so naturally. Albus arguing with Laura, Cass gone, Al and Ollie team up. Cass gone, Ollie becomes prefect (MORE TIME WITH ALBUS!) So nicely done! Sometimes SUPRISE, NOW YOU HAVE TO HANG OUT is kind of thrust into stories randomly, without getting built to. OR, characters ruminate too obviously on things. I like that you don't spell everything out, and respect your readers to put the pieces together.

And Slughorn showing favoritism was so perfect, an so in character, and a really nice way to invert the whole "Snape favoring Draco" thing.

OH, and Scor is great--he's not a carbon copy of Draco, but you can still see how they're related. And I like that he was so terrible to Albus, and really, that all your characters are so youthy and imperfect!

CANNOT. STOP. READING. THIS!

xoxo
Roisin

Author's Response: Yayy thank you for more lovely comments about Ollie and Scor's friendship! It's one of the aspects of this story that's come most naturally for me to write and it fill me with all good feelings when people mention it.

I don't know where the Slytherin common room switching idea came from but suddenly it was there in the chapter and i couldn't bring myself to get rid of it.

Ooo, I'm so glad you're thinking about what's going on with Cassie. But I'm not going to give anything away just yet :)

I kind of worried I might have pushed Ollie and Al together a bit too much and forced the connection, so I'm glad you think it feels natural. It's so much more fun to not fully explain and tell everything :)

Genuinely can't thank you enough for all these lovely reviews. i'm running out of ways to explain how much I appreciate them!

Emma xxx


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Review #8, by Unicorn_Charm 

9th September 2014:
Hiya!

So Cassie is still missing? This definitely can't be anything good. I feel bad for Olivia. It must be really hard to not have any idea where your best friend is, if she's alright or if she's coming back. I hope everything works out, although I have a funny feeling it may not.

Again, Ollie and Scor's interactions are adorably awesome. I'm glad that they at least have one another right now. I'm sure they're both worrying more than they're letting on.

I can't believe Al's ex gave another interview on him! Someone really needs to shut her mouth. The cow. And I can't believe how cruel Scorpius was to him, especially after admitting he felt bad for him. I guess he just needs to be mean to a Potter to save face.

Oh Al, with the stirring. His Gryffindor was really showing there haha. His stubbornness with not listening to Olivia and then how he admitted to Slughorn - who of course wouldn't be angry with Harry's son - that it was really him.

Eek! I'm excited to see Al and Olivia on Prefect duty together!

Another excellent chapter! Keep up the fantastic work! Love it!

xoxo Meg ♥

Author's Response: Gahh your reviews are so so lovely. I really can't thank you enough.

Olivia's really struggling without Cassie but it's hard to fully get that across in first person because I think it's more of a background uneasiness than something she's properly thinking about. I'm really glad you picked up on it.

And Al's ex is a terrible person. She has somewhat more justification for her behaviour than Olivia realises but it's totally inexcusable to act the way she does.

But I'm so glad you're enjoying Al! I thought Harry and Ginny's son couldn't NOT have a bad temper.

Thanks again for all the lovely reviews :)

Emma xx


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Review #9, by crestwood 

8th September 2014:
Hi Emma! I feel like it's been so, so long since you requested this review and it kills me to be so behind, but I'm here now and I'm going to do both new chapters to make it up!

I really noticed that Scorpius has two separate sides to him here. At the beginning, during the run with Ollie he was just hilarious and in such high spirits and then later on with Al he is just being vindictive and incredibly mean for no real reason as far as I can see. The only reason I can come up with is pure jealousy. But maybe we'll find out something that happened in the past to warrant that kind of hatred later on!

It makes sense that Albus would be thoroughly done with Laura. I can't imagine that he'd ever trust her again. It's definitely believable that Slughorn would assume the potions mishap had more to do with Ollie since we know he loves his students with exceptional connections and Albus certainly fits the bill. It's still a bit rude for him to show that much favoritism, but totally in line with his character. Albus himself seemed so great in this chapter, the way he stood up for Ollie. That's two times he's helped her out now, if I'm counting correctly.

I'm getting a little worried about Cassie now. It's only been a day, but I thought she'd at least respond to Ollie and let her know that she's okay. I hope that nothing terrible has happened! That said, I am going to enjoy Ollie reluctantly participating in prefect duties so much! I can feel some more Ollie/Albus scenes coming soon. Awesome chapter here and major strides being taken in the way of characterization!

Author's Response: Hi Joey :)

Don't worry at all about being behind! It's always great to hear what you've got to say, and there's no rush.

You're right about Scor having different sides to him. I think he's very much a character that shifts depending on who he's with, and his behaviour towards Al is pretty inexcusable but probably stems from his own insecurities. You're right to pick up on jealousy.

And I'm really happy you think Slughorn's in character. I quite enjoyed writing that whole scene, and felt Slytherins would definitely be quick to pick up on Slughorn's motives for favouritism.

Thanks so much for such a lovely review!

Emma x


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Review #10, by greenbirds 

4th September 2014:
i love love love this! this is so sick! definitely one of the best next gens i've read in a long time. i like how albus is a gryffindor, i love how scor seems to have continued a bit of his father's rivalry with the potters, i love how olivia is a strong enough character to be able to tell her best friend to stop tormenting albus- and most of all i love your characters, their dynamics, how everything is so realistic and all characters have their flaws. please update soon, i'm so hooked!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Next chapter's in the queue so should be validated in the next few days. Thanks for taking the time to review :)

Emma x


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Review #11, by ASDFGHJKL1234 

29th August 2014:
Loved it! Please continue and update soon!!!
It saddens me that Scorpius is mean but I hope he and Albus can develop an understanding because of their mutual famous daddy problems.
Good riddance to Cassie! I don't like her. She's holding her friends down but I guess if you do decide to bring her back it will make things for interesting!
Somehow this is exactly how I imagined Albus to be: the more insecure son of Harry but I think your playing on the right balance of confidence and insecurity. He's only vulnerable to people he trusts and having his dumb girl friend break that puts him on the edge.
Can't wait!!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a kind review!

I'm working on chapter 7 so it should be up soonish.

Much love,

Emma x


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Review #12, by TumTum 

26th August 2014:
It seems like Albus inherited his Dad's bad temper haha but I really like him and I'm excited to read about Albus and Ollie's prefect duty. I like that when Ollie was in trouble with Martin, he didn't let her rebuff him but instead saw through her and patiently helped her out and when he messes up the potion he does his best to make amends. He seems like a nice, sensitive kid and I'm happy that Ollie and him are being pushed together so much.

It seems like Albus isn't the only one who takes after his dad - Scorpius seems to be capable of being just as irritating as his father was although Potter does make it easy... on the other hand I like the side of Ollie that concentrates hard on her potion and is patient and good humoured (well within reason). I really enjoy her character.

Thanks for another good chapter, I'm looking forward to the next!

Author's Response: Hiya, thanks for the lovely review.

I'm glad you think Al and Scorpius are believable as their fathers' sons. They're both their own people but I thought it made sense for them to have aspects of their parents in them.

I'm working on chapter seven so hopefully will get that up soon!

Much love,

Emma x


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Review #13, by Midnight spark 

25th August 2014:
I just let out a large sigh of disappointed when I realized that the chapter ended... Please update faster, can't wait for it!!!

Author's Response: Halfway through the next chapter at the moment :)

Thanks for reviewing lovely,

Emma x


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Review #14, by AdinaPuff 

25th August 2014:
Oh my gosh, chapter 6!

I liked this chapter. It introduced the characters a little more, and gave us a feel as the reader how Ollie's life at school is normally. You brought a few characters to attention, as well as how class works.

Scorpius making Ollie go for a run was great. It shows his care for the team. I loved how Ollie just stopped and waited for him after giving up. It builds her character that much more.

Albus has some serious anger issues haha. I love his character so far, but for someone who takes so much offense to Scorp and Lauren saying he only has his father's game running for him, he sure does milk his relationship with Slighorn to get out of situations. I do like his character so far though.

Ooh building on Cass's disappearance. The faculty doesn't know where she's at? She isn't of age, so couldn't the ministry track her if it comes to that point of severity? As in, if she's reported missing?

Poor Olivia, having to be prefect now. I guess it makes sense to automatically think of Ollie as a replacement for Cass, though. And she's a good enough student, and a member of the house team. It makes sense.

Great chapter! Can't wait for the next one! Update soon!

-Leigh

Author's Response: Leigh!

Thanks again for such a lovely review :)

I think Laura and Scor just really hit a sore point for Al and he couldn't calm himself down. He's generally a pretty patient guy.

And yes, the Ministry will look for her if she's missing. At the moment the school just wants to confirm that that's the case.

Thanks for reviewing! Can't wait to have a read of your next chapter, probably later today.

Much love,

Emma x


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Review #15, by Ribbons 

25th August 2014:
I want to read the next chapter so badly!

Once again, I loved it, and really liked the stuff with LP (little Potter). When he ruined the potion I wanted to SCREAM! That would have been so annoying if you were Ollie. Working long and hard on her perfect potion, Al trundles over and messes it up and then Slughorn is SURE that she's the one who did it. I mean, come on!

There was a small blip that only really freaky people would notice that I saw in this chapter that you might think about changing: Slughorn refers to Al and Rose being the prefects of Gryffindor by saying 'him and rose' and I think that it would be more within his character to say 'he and rose' which is - I think - more grammatically correct.

I'm getting seriously worried about Cassie. What happened to her? And I can what you're doing with the whole 'Ollie is now a prefect too' thing. Looking good for Alivia :)
Much, much love,

Alena

Author's Response: Hello hello!

Thanks for pointing that out with the grammar - you're totally right and I'll fix that up asap.

Yeah I think Albus has been really annoying here but it's not his fault and if Ollie was more patient she'd probably be feeling sorry for him rather than irritated. I am so looking forward to writing more of them together.

Afraid we're not going to find out what's going on with Cassie for a while yet...but I think you'll like it (hopefully) when all is revealed!

Much love,

Emma x


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