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39 Reviews Found

Review #1, by aragorn007 

3rd May 2017:
Dear author, your writing is simply captivating! Love all the characters and feel so sorry for Olivia, being Pansy's daughter is not easy.

Author's Response: Thank you! So happy you're enjoying it xx

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Review #2, by Shanna18 

26th August 2016:
Hey I'm anItalian Fanfiction writers and I've just finished to read yor story, it's fantastically and I want to your propose one thing: Could I translate the fanfiction and put it on a Italian fanfictions' site? Obiouvlsy I'll write that fic isn't mina and that i've just translated, then I'll write every comment would do you do and I'll translate to you all reviews . What do you think? Please I very would!

Shanna :)

Author's Response: Hi Shanna, I'm really glad you enjoyed reading. As long as you say my username and that it came from this site I'm happy for you to translate :)

Thanks for reading! Emma xx


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Review #3, by victoria_anne 

14th May 2016:
Hey E!

I'd been meaning to return to Nine Years, but I keep seeing this, and keep putting it off to finish other stories before starting a new one but argh I just couldn't resist!

You've got me laughing in front of my computer straight away. I already love Olivia. Just her thinking about the way her mother's brain works has me totally hooked! Olivia's rather cynical and somewhat negative when it comes to her family, yet she's not unlikeable. How u do dis?!

Ah, she's a Slytherin. Well, then ;)

I honestly love the relationship between Olivia and her mum, the way mum is so ladylike and proper and forcing it onto Olivia. I totally guessed she was Pansy! She still seems a little hung up on Malfoy, and I like that you brought the cursed necklace into it. That was tense!

Oh my goodness such drama! Even I feel overwhelmed! I can't wait until Olivia gets back into the normal swing of Hogwarts, ha ha, the Madhouse is too crazy!

I am so glad I finally caved and started reading this, I really love it so far. I haven't even met Scorpius or Cassie but I can already tell they're going to be brilliant and fleshed out, because you are a writing queen and everything you do is amazing.

I'll be back soon!

♥ B

Author's Response: B! Your reviews always make me smile so much.

I get a bit stressed when people review the early chapters of Complicated because it's my first story here and there are lots of things I'd change now, but I'm glad you liked it!

Olivia's definitely a cynic. She softens a little bit later on.

Thank you so much for such a lovely review xx


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Review #4, by rainydramione 

28th February 2016:
great opening to the story!!

Author's Response: Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it x

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Review #5, by maraudertimes 

24th January 2016:
Hiya! Review swap!

Okay, so although this was tense and full of awkward family moments, holy was it good! I love the Wood family, even though I know this story isn't about them. Their dynamic is so great and it's obvious that Katy and Oliver really love each other.

I'm curious as to why Olivia is named Olivia. It's so close to Oliver that I wonder if perhaps there was a reason for it? But then again, it could just be that Pansy liked the name :P

I really don't like Pansy, and I never have. I really liked how you wrote her though, because you've kept her adoration for Malfoy intact, and you've kept her vain. The fact that she's so insecure about what her daughter looks like is a testament to how awful of a mother she is. I'm sorry for saying that, but you don't give your daughter diet books for Christmas.

Olivia's father is also somewhat of a disappointment - he doesn't even know what position she plays? I really feel bad for Olivia, having to grow up in that situation, although it doesn't seem as if she cares too much about her extended family, so maybe she makes do?

In any case, I really like Olivia and also I really love her dynamic with Jason. Them trying to relieve tension with Quidditch banter, all while it being also somewhat serious speaks to how they may not get along but they're also looking to keep the family dynamic from breaking apart.

Olivia herself is also a great character, albeit a bit ah... witchy. I mean she is a witch it makes sense, you know? But yes, I still really like her and you've really created a well-rounded character with her!

I'll review two more chapters but I'm going to do a bit of writing first - but don't worry I'll get to them ASAP! :)

Thanks for the review swap!
Lo :)

Author's Response: Hi Lo,

Thanks for the lovely review. I'm really glad you liked Katie and Oliver. I'm enjoying them lots and have ended up putting them into my Lee Jordan story quite a bit because I wanted to write them more.

I think maybe Katie suggested to Andrew that he name his child Olivia, and he agreed without really thinking about the fact he was naming her after Oliver.

Pansy's terrible. More on that later :)

THank you for such a kind review! Emma xx


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Review #6, by Unwritten Curse 

9th January 2016:
Hello! I popped on to the Gryffindor Review Battle thread and saw that you were last, then saw one of your stories had won a Dobby, which led me to this very review box that I'm typing in now.

I have to say--wow. What a fantastic opening chapter. You are so skilled at developing characters, at making your readers care about them immediately. I feel like I know each and every person in this chapter intimately. Plus, I think it's really interesting which characters you've chosen here. That Pansy married Katie's brother--I never would've seen that coming, but you make it realistic. Especially with the fight at the end, when Andrew says that she's always been in love with Draco. I totally believe that. Kind of makes me wonder how they married in the first place. Was it money? Or maybe they were in love at some point. Maybe a little.

I totally love Olivia. She's so sassy and sarcastic and yet relatable. I felt terrible for her reading about how her mother wants her to lose weight and how she constantly brings it up. It makes sense considering her mother is Pansy, but I just kept thinking, what a terrible mother! And that she got her the same gifts every year… It's really sad. It seems like Pansy and Andrew's marital problems got in the way of being good parents, and Olivia was affected. I do hope she takes Katie up on her offer. I really like Katie and Oliver. Even Jason seems like a good kid, though he and Olivia don't get along.

Your writing, too, is just so easy to read. I mean that in the best way. You are very talented. The narration is smooth and polished and I never felt the need to skim. I'm so impatient these days (i need to work on this, I really do!) that I find myself skimming so often when I read. But I didn't do that once in this chapter. Every word felt so necessary; you were either developing characters or explaining an important bit of plot or… I dunno, just being downright entertaining. :)

I'm going to read more now. I don't know how far I'll get today, but it's Saturday and I'm rewarding myself with some reading time so expect a couple more reviews in the next little bit.

--Gina

Author's Response: Gina! This review is so lovely thank you so much! I always panic a little bit when I get a review for my early chapters of 'Complicated', because it's been a while since I wrote them and there are so many things I feel like I need to change and come back to. Thank you for being so reassuring!

Pansy and Andrew's story isn't one that's going to come up in 'Complicated', but it's a story I still quite want to tell so maybe there'll be one shot at some point :)

I'm so glad you like Olivia. I'm very attached to her after 22 chapters, so it's lovely to hear positive things about her at the beginning of the story. And Katie and Oliver are my favourites - I've started a new novella about Fred and Lee which features them quite heavily because I enjoy them so much.

Honestly thank you so so much for all your kind words. I really appreciate your taking the time to give such lovely feedback. Again, I feel very insecure about these early chapters and it's such a relief to hear nice things about them.

Thank youuu, and Happy New Year :)

Emma xx


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Review #7, by HufflePuff_Blitz 

3rd February 2015:
Hey! This is Kyle for our swap!

Let me just start with this made me feel really uncomfortable. In the best way possible of course. The way you wrote this scene it felt like I was sitting in the room with the family, and if I were Olivia I would have booked it a lot sooner.

I really like Olivia also, she has that air of being in Slytherin but at the same time not. If that makes any sense. Her mother though.

I never would have really thought of who Pansy would end up with, but I feel really bad for Andrew. Sure he is kind of a jerk to her at the end, but the way she does seem to talk about Draco I can see why.

I like how you put Katie and Oliver together, it works pretty well. I also like how their son has a near obbsession to quiditch just like Oliver had.

Overall I Really enjoyed this and can see why it won a Dobby in dialog. Your dialog flowed really well in this and made it feel much more real. :)

I will definitely favorite this story and continue on reading it :)

-Kyle (Hufflepuff_Blitz)

Author's Response: Hi Kyle!

Wow, thank you so much for such a kind review! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading. There are things I'd probably change about this chapter now, having written a bit more, but it's always lovely to hear that people like it.

It makes me SO HAPPY when people like Olivia. I feel like I know her incredibly well now and it's always nice to get feedback about her.

And Pansy's definitely awful but then so is Andrew.

Thank you for such a lovely, thoughtful review, and thank you for the swap! I just left you a review on your James story.

Emma xx


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Review #8, by BellaLestrange87 

15th December 2014:
Hi! I'm here for our review swap! I'm sorry I took so long - I feel asleep when I got home and then I had French homework to do. *sighs* School is getting in the way of fanfiction.

I can immediately see why this won a Dobby for Best Dialogue. Everything everybody says sounds so realistic, something that teenagers would say. There's a big difference between this amazing dialogue and the canned stuff I've read - and written too. *winces in memory*

I loved the opening line. It sucked me in immediately; I wanted to know exactly why your MC hated Christmas. (And then, upon reflection, I realised that to some extent I agreed with her. Madhouse is the perfect way to describe what my house looks like when my entire family is over.)

I love what you've done with the characters. Oliver was so into Quidditch that it's entirely logical that he would marry someone also passionate about it. Maybe it's because he doesn't have a life outside of the sport so any women he notices are involved with it in some way? And I have to say, I was really surprised to find out that Pansy Parkinson was Olivia's mother. She didn't seem all that timid during her Hogwarts years, although your depiction of her still being in love with Draco sounds like her. I think JKR said in an interview that their relationship was doomed to fail because Pansy was based off of horrible girls she knew in school. Judging from the way she was acting in their train compartment in HBP, she was deeply in love with him. (And apparently still is.)

Even though this probably sounds cruel, I like how you turned Katie's being cursed into something that affected her long-term. From what I gathered when I read the book, the necklace was affected with heavy Dark Magic, and stuff like that doesn't just wear off. She spent so much time in St. Mungo's, and was still affected when she came back - she couldn't remember who had cursed her (although, to be fair, that might've been the Imperius Curse she was under). I know from experience that when you get hurt the injury doesn't wear off immediately, it takes time, and something as severe as Katie's cursing would definitely affect her for the rest of her life.

What a very rambly paragraph.

I keep wondering who Pansy would've married. The name Andrew doesn't sound very purebloodish. (Look at you, Olivia, inventing new words.) From what I gathered, their marriage was arranged, which suggests pureblood, and judging from Pansy's alignment during the war with Voldemort, a "respectable" one too. If there's no love in their marriage, cheating (as is implied) is very likely to happen, and the way Pansy catches her husband sounds entirely plausible, too. Stupid man. Hide your evidence!

I really like the ending. When I've been caught in the middle of an argument, my first impulse has been to try and leave, and get away from it all. I like that Olivia needed to use the same tactic.

Overall, I loved this first chapter, and I'm definitely going to keep reading! To be entirely honest, this was on my reading list (I added a bunch when Dobby noms happened), so I was going to review it anyways (but probably in the distant future).

~also Olivia

Author's Response: Hi Olivia!

Sorry for taking so long to get back to his - everything's been a bit manic and busy.

Wow, thank you so much for such an extremely thoughtful review. All your comments really mean so much and I'm so grateful to you for putting the time in to review :)

Pansy's character will, I hope, start to make a bit more sense later on, although she's definitely still a pain. She's married to Katie Bell's brother, who is a pureblood but it wasn't an arranged marriage. I'm not sure how much of their story will make it into 'Complicated'. If it doesn't all become clear I might be tempted to write a one shot about it later on :)

Katie's curse was, I think, always going to have to be a part of who she grew up to be. She lost a huge chunk of her final year at school because of it, and it would have to leave some kind of a scar on her. I thought it was good to recognise that something like that would have a long term effect and, although Katie's grown up and moved past it, it's never something that can completely leave her.

Honestly thank you so much for all your lovely comments! Reviews like this really mean a lot and makes writing such a pleasure :)

Emma xx


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Review #9, by Dirigible_Plums 

15th December 2014:
I SAW ALBUS POTTER'S NAME IN THE SUMMARY.

Sorry, I had to get that out. You have successfully captured my intention and after reading this little gem of a first chapter, I am definitely going to read on. I stopped by for the review swap by the way (and I'm not regretting it).

As I have more or less said, I enjoyed reading the first chapter. I think Olivia's narrative style is established quite well here and you've managed to balance the speech with the description. No unnecessary details that she wouldn't notice aren't here and I'm glad you avoided the essay on the dress as well ;)

I like that Christmas is exactly the opposite of what it should symbolise. The fact that Olivia is part of a broken family is interesting to see and I look forward to seeing how it's pulled off later. I was surprised that Pansy wasn't as snobby as she was portrayed in the books but I suppose people change and her frailty could possibly be an effect from the war. I think you presented the pureblood behavioural instincts effectively and how she tries to impose it on her daughter.

I don't really have any constructive criticism here except for the following: instead of 'I let my voice drip with irony', I think I would use 'sarcasm' instead. I don't think 'irony' was the right word to use since she's mocking him. It's not a certain twist of events that has ended up putting him or her at a disadvantage. I hope you understand what I mean.

Dirigible_Plums xo

Author's Response: Hello!

Haha, there's a lot more Albus in later chapters I promise. He's one of my favourites so I couldn't resist writing him.

Thank you so much for all your lovely comments. I had a lot of fun writing this opening and although there are a few things I'd probably want to edit now it's always really nice to hear that people are enjoying it :)

And yes, you're absolutely right about the irony/sarcasm distinction. Thanks for pointing that out! I'll change it when I next come back and make some edits.

Thanks so much for the swap and for the lovely lovely review!

Emma xx


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Review #10, by marauderfan 

15th December 2014:
Review swap!

I must admit, this chapter title made me kind of happy since believe it or not, I am actually a total Scrooge. :P

Gah, who is this crazy mother who is trying to force her daughter to care about her appearance all the time? Oh. Pansy. Ok I get it. Ugh. Actually this should make for an excellent read, since I think Pansy can be a really interesting character :D

Ahaha, Olivia and Jason are such wonderful friendly cousins. Their greeting made me laugh!

Aw, that's really sad that the cursed necklace made Katie lose her chances with Quidditch. It's really sad, yet totally believable and it was such a huge event in her life so I'm glad you included a reference to it in here.

I loved Olivia and Jason's 'business transaction' for the gifts they didn't want, haha. They can actually be kind to each other sometimes, and they're really good at dissipating awkward situations by arguing with each other.

Oh no, what a horrible thing to find out on Christmas O__O I actually feel sorry for Pansy, which is not something I thought I'd say. Ahh, worst Christmas! I do really love Katie though, she is so sweet and I really hope Olivia realizes that her extended family cares about her, even if they aren't obvious about it all the time.

Awesome chapter and thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Hello hello!

Thank you so much for the lovely review. All your comments are extremely kind and have made me super smiley. Now that I'm a bit further through this story there are aspects of this chapter I'm not a huge fan of and would definitely like to come back and change, so it's always reassuring to get some nice feedback!

Thanks so much for the swap.

Lots of love,

Emma xx


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Review #11, by daliha 

1st November 2014:
Hey I'm here for the october review swap! I know I"m late and Im so sorry but RL was crazy this week!

Anyway, I loved this first chapter Olivia and Jason's bickering made me smile typical Gryffindor- Slytherin rivalry, interesting though how you have Katie and Oliver interacting with Pansy someone they didn't really interact with at school, even though they are a dysfunctional family I find their interaction believable except for Pansy she seems over the top but I think she was like that in the books as well. I love how you kept Oliver and Katie in character, and Katie's kindness towards Olivia, it broke my heart, I know what it like to have family drag you into their drama XD

Great chapter, I'll go on to the next when I get the chance :)

Author's Response: Hello! So sorry for such a delayed response!

I've really enjoyed exploring the possible relationship between Katie/Oliver/Pansy so I'm glad you found it interesting. Pansy's definitely over the top but I like to think it all makes sense later on when we understand more about her.

Katie's one of my favourites to write so there'll definitely be more of her :)

Loved the swap - let me know if you ever want to swap again. I'm usually much more speedy with my responses!

Emma xx


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Review #12, by randomwriter 

11th October 2014:
Hello Emma! I'm a huge fan of next Gen stories and I know that a lot of them seem repetitive, but I really can't resist a well written one with good dialogue!

First of all, I must congratulate you picking something different. The opening chapters of such stories are full of teenage first world problems, and the protagonist is almost always obsessed with James or Al. I think that it's interesting that you dived straight in. It's interesting to see this from the POV of someone who doesn't belong to an already well establish family (Malfoys, Weasleys). There's so much potential in this, and I really enjoyed how you opened it. Also, I once had an idea for writing a story where Pansy tries to set her daughter up with Scorpius, so I'm stoked you wrote something similar-ish (except in my story idea, the girl was an annoying mini-Pansy).

Olivia is funny and she seems confident and self assured, which is always nice to see because I know I don't have to be wary of her turning into a pile of goo the second an attractive boy enters the fray. Her internal monologue is refreshing to read and I just overall liked her. So far, at least. Lets see what you do with her :)

I've seen a lot of nextgens where the character complains about a horrible family and an awful lot of drama when the family is loving, even if they are a tad crazy, and I expected that from this. Except, it was different. There was actually drama and her emotions were warranted, not just pointless rambling and whinging for the sake of it.

I love your portrayal of the canon characters. First of all, this family tie is very original. I've never seen it, with Oliver and Katie being related to Pansy at the end of it. poor Oliver, I can't believe he has tolerate her, given his attitude towards non-Gryffindors and Slytherins, in particular. I'm not Pansy's biggest fan, but I felt a touch of pity for her by the end of it. Katie is just so... nice, and that's it. All she wants is for there to be some merriment and general appreciation, I suppose. You've written all of them perfectly, especially Pansy and Oliver. the argument between them was an excellent touch. I love that you didn't disregard canon. That was a nice tie-in. Also, Oliver still holding it against Draco makes it very believable. Honestly though, I'm not Pansy's biggest fan, but your portrayal was really accurate.

I also enjoyed reading about Olivia's relationship with Jason. She says she hates him, but I think she just hates all that he represents to her. She doesn't like his family, and probably the fact that she sense that her own family is broken or dysfunctional, while his isn't is probably fueling her need to hate him. I may be wrong, but I believe that will change over the course of the story :p Let's see if I'm quite the Seer. I also love the way you mentioned that he was so into Quidditch that he fails to notice all the attention he gets. That's very Oliver of him! Like this, a lot of your details were in the subtleties and that was fantastic!

Also, what is with Pansy giving her all those products? Eugh! Her father seems more nonchalant about everything in general. Also, it;s obvious that he didn't expect anyone to be fussed about the affair. Personally, I think Pansy was crying for because he cheater on her and not because he cheated, if that makes sense to you.

I'm a major ScoRose fan, so I might be secretly rooting for a Scorpius/Cassie break up (too soon?). But I won't moan if I end up liking Cassie :p

Overall, I really liked your characterisation, if you can't tell already. And your plot seems to be headed in a rather interesting direction. I'm curious to see what happens.

As for your pacing and flow, I don't think there's any issue. It was paced well and it was quite easy to read because of the flow. I know that the introductory chapters tend to come off as being very expository, in a forced way too. They end up reading like bio-datas and that's not very good. But yours wasn;t like that at all. You managed to ease the reader into the details and it really kept my interest. It was nice to find out little tidbits of information without it feeling like an absolute overload.

As for dialogue, I really don't need to say anything. I mean, you won a Dobby, for Merlin's sake! Congratulations on that, by the way and I am thankful that it has led me to your story.

I think I'll wind up now! This was a really nice read and I'll looking forward to finding some more free time so that I can get back to this soon! Great work :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Wow, thanks so much for such a lovely and thoughtful review! Sorry for the delay getting back to you. I really appreciate the time you've put into giving me such wonderful feedback.

There are aspects of this chapter I think I'll probably come back and edit, but I'm so glad you liked the things you've mentioned. I'm a little bit in love with most of these characters at this point so it's always lovely to hear that readers are enjoying them.

Writing the canon parents is really interesting. Katie, Oliver and Pansy weren't big enough parts in the books to have clear characteristics associated with them, so I can still have a bit of fun making up what they're like, but I definitely want them to believably be the same people they were in JK's work, so it's great to hear you thought that was successful.

And Jason! Yep, you're probably right, but Ollie's got a while left before she'll figure it out for herself. He's a lovely character to write anyway.

Thank you so much for such a wonderfully kind review! I'm really, really happy to hear that you're enjoying reading so far.

Much love,

Emma xx


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Review #13, by hoodwink 

27th September 2014:
This is a super interesting start! I'm really liking Olivia, she's different from the usual (Pansy's daughter? I've never seen that before, super original (: ) and that she's in Slytherin and proud of it. I find it great. Even though the dinner went horribly I still found it super fun to read, anyways, I'm on to the next chapter (:

Author's Response: Hi! Always happy to see new readers :)

I'm really happy to hear you're enjoying it so far and hopefully you'll like future chapters too!

Emma xx


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Review #14, by True Author 

20th September 2014:
Hi there! :)

I must say that you have a very interesting first chapter here. It doesn't give the reader a much clear idea about what the main plot's about or anything like that. You simply introduce the narrator and her family problems. I really liked that. It's made me very curious about what will happen next! And the way you connected it all to Christmas was a nice touch.

Whoa, who would've thought her mother was no one but Pansy Parkinson? :O I was very surprised to read that she was Pansy. But I think it all makes sense. I can imagine her marrying someone else and not really getting over Draco. I also imagine Draco not marrying her by the way. :) It's all believable! That's really great. :)

So is there going to be something between Scorpius and Olivia? I can't tell. But I'd like to have some romance in here. And I also hope Olivia and her cousin would get along well with each other. That girl sure deserves some happiness! I hope you give loads to her!

Great story! It was fun swapping with you!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini!

It's really great to hear your thoughts on this chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it and it caught your interest.

Pansy Parkinson's definitely still hung up on Draco, but I think it was obvious they never would have ended up together. I don't think Draco would have wanted to base his life around the choices he made in school.

There's definitely not something between Scorpius and Olivia, other than intense friendship. But there will be romance later :) (when we meet Al Potter) and Olivia's relationship with her cousin definitely changes too.

Thanks for the swap!

Emma xx


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Review #15, by pointless_proclamations 

17th September 2014:
Dear Emma,

I get to review one of your stories now! And what a story it is!

The first thing I did was dislike Pansy for being such an awful mother before I even knew that was her. Doing that had me sympathise with Olivia more. I like how you made me immediately side with the protagonist. There was very little confusion in deciding where to place my loyalties.

What you've done here is you've taken what I once perceived as the time of the year in which nothing can go wrong and changed it completely. I must admire you for that. The more specific reasons you provided for Olivia to hate Christmas, the more interesting this family appears to me. I am intrigued at this horrible family dynamic.

When Olivia expected nothing less of this year's Christmas and when she didn't care to hide how unhappy she was, I immediately got the picture of what kind of character she is. You are very efficient in the way you reveal the personalities of these characters.

I was amused that she and Jason addressed each other by their last names despite them being cousins, but what a creative way to showcase their relationship. The dialogue is quite spectacular, too. But you have me wondering if they actually do care about each other to some degree, I mean their talking to each other and they smiled at each other. I have so many questions how their behaviour towards each other carries over to Hogwarts.

What is wrong with Pansy, Emma? You have me loathing her more than I've ever loathed her before. Very poor parental skills (on both parents' parts), very wonderfully exhibited.

All in all, a very cohesive chapter that inspires such interest that I can't help but continue reading on.

Cheers,
Em (for Emilie) :D

Author's Response: Hi Em!

Thanks so much for such a thoughtful review. I'm really glad you enjoyed reading this.

Pansy's definitely an awful mother. She's so preoccupied in her own life and the problems she inflicts on herself that she doesn't notice what her daughter needs. Olivia's definitely not lucked out in the parent department.

And thank you for mentioning the scene with Jason :) I really enjoyed writing the two of them together, and you're right that there are aspects about their dynamic that suggest they care more than they try to let on. I'm so glad you liked the dialogue! I've actually been nominated for a dobby for dialogue, which to me seems absolutely crazy, so it's really nice to hear that you like it.

I'm really grateful that you took the time to review. I'll definitely be back to revisit Annett in the near future :)

Emma xx


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Review #16, by Kira 

12th September 2014:
Ooo I love this! I'm so glad I found it!

Olivia's awesome. The Moron's hilarious. Katie's sweet. I want to see more Oliver Wood!!

Her family's awful. Looking forward to meeting her friends!

Kira xoxo

Author's Response: Hi Kira,

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I'm really happy to hear you're enjoying this so far.

Emma x


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Review #17, by Cannons 

11th September 2014:
Hi !

I am on my iPad so I can't leave a really long review but I have to say I really enjoyed this opening chapter. It was quite a Christmas wasn't it! Jason seemed a really interesting character even though I can't help hoping the two of them get along a lot better in the future :P

On to the second chapter now!

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks so much for having a read! I'm really really glad you're enjoying it. It really means a lot, especially given how impressed I've been with your own ideas :)

Emma x


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Review #18, by slytherinchica08 

11th September 2014:
Yeah this definitely seems like a reason to hate Christmas! That's not exactly the best family type situation and to make it even worse they find out that her father has been cheating on her mother... on Christmas day. That's not an easy thing to come to terms with even in the best of situations let alone how it came out. I'm very much interested to see how you take this story and exactly how Albus will come into play. I'm glad though that Katie thought to offer her a place to stay if things get horrid at her house, that does show that her family cares, even though it seems like she is in a place where she doesn't really view them as being a family. The offer was still there and that makes all of the difference. I thought that this was a wonderful first chapter and does a good job of setting up the characters and the situation that we can expect to play out in this story. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thanks so much for such a lovely review. I'm glad it's caught your interest. I'll be heading over to your Dramione right now :)

Much love,

Emma xx


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Review #19, by Roisin 

8th September 2014:
Oh my God, Emma, this is GREAT!

I've seen this recommended a lot, and I absolutely see why! First-person Next Gens aren't *usually* my thing, but this story is INCREDIBLY well done.

I'm usually really good at finding some ammount of concrit to give, but this chapter showed amazing polish and technical perfection. I really can't find a SINGLE place that needed improvement--and I am the PICKIEST person! This is just such a striking example of the genre!

Ok, where to begin! This might be a really out of order and rambly review, so SORRY.

I loved how Olivia mentions that Christmas is horrible, and then it REALLY IS. It's not just "haha my family are crazy"--there are *actual* issues going on. Her perspective is totally validated. I find a lot of OC narrators to be a bit hyperbolic, but Olivia is actually kind of casual about it, or at least, accustomed to it.

And I really appreciated how you treated your canon. I think nextgens can be too quick to let their characters forgive and forget--here, you showed a lot of dynamism in the parents' perspectives. Oliver straight hasn't forgiven Draco, Katie is a little more ambivalent. Just wonderful!

And there was a tremendous amount of subtlety here. I loved how you introduced things slowly, in passing, let them simmer (Pansy being her mother, what position she plays--is it beater? I hope it's beater). And there's something unreliable about her narration too that I really liked. She SAYS she hates her cousin and they aren't friends, but you wrote all these flickers of affection, and I'm really interested to see how their relationship develops!

Also, I love Katie. She was great. Wonderful job on Katie!

Really, all of the characters were so realistic. The interplay between all of the adults was incredibly on point, and I really believed every moment.

There are about a million details that I thought were really well embedded--so next review I might take a leaf out of your book, and write as I read.

And this chapter definitely seemed like it set a lot up a LOT, and I'm so impressed by the amount of thought that went into this. It really didn't seem rushed or half-butted, but like a carefully considered introduction, leading into a thoroughly well realized story.

It's just so rare to see a story that's funny and charming, but still has a level of seriousness, and a sophistication to the writing. And I hardly ever see something just so POLISHED, with such mastery of technical stuff (the pacing of the narrative, the altering weight on description/dialogue, using both summarized narrative and narrative action).

YOU HAVE FOREVER CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT FIRST PERSON NEXT-GENS! THIS STORY IS A TREASURE!

Author's Response: Roisin!

This is possibly the most lovely review I've ever received! Oh my goodness I don't even know where to start in responding, just THANK YOU SO MUCH you've made me all smiley and happy now.

I'm enjoying writing this story so so much so it's just wonderful to hear that people are enjoying reading it. You've treated all my characters like real people and have made such thoughtful comments so thank you for that. I've thought a lot about the people I write and it's just the best feeling to hear that it's come across.

My treatment of canon is, unfortunately, nowhere even close to yours (I googled Peasegood. He's a canon character. That was just the bed thing ever) but I'm glad you found it convincing! I think given than Oliver wasn't at school the year of Katie's attack, and is older than her and was her captain he'd definitely be protective and therefore less quick to forgive Draco. I love Katie too :)

Thank you thank you thank you for all your kind comments and feedback and for keeping me excited about writing. It's genuinely an absolute honour to hear this stuff from you when I've just seen how brilliant your own work is.

Let me know any time you'd like to swap again. I'm always keen :)

Much love,

Emma xx


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Review #20, by Unicorn_Charm 

7th September 2014:
Hiya Emma! Here for our swap!

Yikes. What a time to find out your husband is having an affair. Although, Pansy is a cow, so I don't feel too badly for her.

This was really, really good. Olivia was introduced very well. I, as well, hate Christmas, so I related to her immediately. I felt really bad for her, actually. I can't imagine a mother being so obsessed with her daughter's physical appearance. That is incredibly unhealthy for the mother, and more importantly, the daughter. And to think, that all stems from her unrequited love for Draco.

Christmas at the Woods' was perfect. It had just enough of awkwardness that you feel at family functions. The tension was all written beautifully. I cannot believe Pansy would have the gall to speak highly of Draco Malfoy to Katie Bell, of all people.

Olivia is fantastic. I already adore her. She seems like such a strong and independent young woman. Someone who you could really admire. Her interactions with her cousin, Jason, were pretty fun to read, too! :)

That must have felt so satisfying and liberating when she took the broom and began to fly away from the madness. I would have wanted out of there, as quickly as possible, too.

Overall, I thought this was a fantastic opening chapter. The characters all seemed relatable. The pacing was perfect, it didn't drag and it didn't feel rushed. There was a lot of information, but it wasn't overloaded. It has definitely piqued my interest and I really would like to continue on. :) Well done! ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hi Meg!

Thanks so much for such an incredibly lovely review :)

You've picked up on some deep set problems Pansy has that will make more of an appearance later on, so I'm really glad you made the comments you did.

And I'm so glad you like Olivia! She's not without her flaws and I think she's sometimes actually not that nice a person but I love her and it's made me happy that you liked her.

Thanks for the swap!

Emma xx


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Review #21, by Infinityx 

4th September 2014:
Hi Emma, here for our swap!

So, Next Gen. And something that doesn't revolve around the usual characters. You've got me interested already. :D

I love the voice you've given Olivia. She seems really critical about everything, and the way she starts off not liking Christmas makes her even more interesting because straight away, there's an indicator that something's messed up in her family.

Okay, Katie. Katie Bell? (I'm reviewing as I read). Olivia seems to be in Slytherin from the bit of information about her dress before. Oh, by the way, I love how you're not just spouting out all the information about the characters but just subtly bringing them in to let the readers figure everything out for themselves.

Before I move ahead, there is some unnecessary capitalization. When it's "my mom", the "mom" doesn't need to be capitalized as it's a common noun. But when Olivia's just saying "Mom" or addressing her without the "my", then it needs to be capitalized. I don't know if that made sense. :/

Anyway, moving on. Okay, Jason's in Gryffindor and Olivia's in Slytherin and they hate each other. So I'm leaning towards the Katie being Katie Bell. Then it's like a family of Gryffindors and a family of Slytherins being put together and made to socialize. Yeah, I can see where the problems could arise. I'm curious to know who Olivia's parents are though, and I'm sure I'll find out soon!

Jason Wood and Olivia Bell. I think I've got it now. Oliver Wood and Katie Bell - Jason Wood. And Olivia's father is Katie's brother? That would make sense. So that must mean Olivia's mother is the one causing the friction in the family.

I WAS RIGHT. BUT IT'S NOT WHAT I EXPECTED. Wow. Pansy Parkinson and Andrew Bell. I'm figuring it was an arranged marriage since Andrew says they don't love each other. And the way Pansy keeps going on about Draco. Geez, that woman needs to get a grip. But still, Andrew buying the diamond bracelet for another woman? Not cool.

Poor Olivia. I can see why she's angry. I would lose my temper as well if I was put in such a situation. I'm really interested in where this is headed though. Your summary was intriguing and Olivia's personality has caught my attention completely. The complexity of her family just tops it all off!

I know I've summarized parts of the story, but it's Next Gen and I'm hopeless when it comes to that era. I just can't get past all the OCs and the names and all the new details. I'm starting to build a liking to it though, and this has definitely got me hooked! So you can be sure that I'll be back soon to review some more!

Brilliant start and thanks for the swap!

~Erin

Author's Response: Hi Erin!

Thank you thank you for all the lovely feedback. You've made me very happy and now I feel like writing lots.

I've been meaning to edit the capitalisation since I uploaded this chapter and have somehow not quite got around to it. I'm very aware that it needs to be changed though because a few people have commented that it disrupts the flow a bit.

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading! I just finished chapter two of yours and loved it so I expect you'll be hearing from me again soon as well :)

Much love,

Emma x


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Review #22, by magnolia_magic 

3rd September 2014:
Hi! I'm finally here with your requested review! I'm really sorry to have made you wait, but thank you so much for your patience. And now on to the review!

I'll be honest, it took a while for Olivia to start growing on me. But I think that's what you were going for, right? She's very...prickly? Difficult to deal with, and with her family background it's very easy to understand why that is. But you showed us tiny cracks in her defensive shell, like the mention of her friends and the moment with Katie at the end. Those things helped to make her a more relatable, fleshed-out character. Her voice is really witty and sharp, and you established a good pace--fast but comfortable.

And Jason! I liked him! He never seemed like a moron at all, despite Olivia calling him that. Instead, he came off very likable (for me, at least.) He reminds me a lot of the way Oliver was portrayed in the books :) And I loved the moment at the dinner table when he picked up on the tension and diffused it. And Olivia's little acknowledgment that it was a good move. "I suppose he's not always a moron." So cute! That was the moment that Olivia became tolerable for me, because you showed just the perfect amount of vulnerability without changing her personality. Really nice characterization technique for both Olivia and Jason there :)

Oh goodness, what to say about Olivia's parents. Pansy is a hot mess. I was just in disbelief that she brought Draco up in front of her husband and daughter. I mean, kids can tell when there is trouble in paradise, but aren't parents supposed to at least try to protect their kids from their marriage troubles? But clearly Pansy is not an ideal parent. And I was furious at the little digs she made about Olivia's weight! If you had left her as this completely one-dimensional "clueless parent" character, I would have been perfectly happy just hating her.

But. You threw us a curveball with the cheating revelation. And suddenly Pansy is a sympathetic character, at least for that one scene. I got used to seeing her as a straight-up villain, and suddenly she became the victim for a minute. It was a twist that I was not expecting, and I enjoyed the surprise. Even though the scene itself was dramatic and heavy, I thought it was fun to be thrown off a bit.

And her dad is now my least favorite of the two. It was going to take something truly heinous to strip Pansy of that title, but you sure delivered! What an absolute jerk! :/

I was a little miffed at Olivia for taking the situation and making it about her ("Stop dragging me into all your rubbish"), but it's to be expected. She feels betrayed too, and she seems to have a natural temper. I'm looking forward to seeing her with her friends, and I hope it's a healthier situation than what she has at home.

I like the image you leave us with, of Olivia flying away from the Madhouse on her broom, towards the sanctuary of her friends. It was a lovely, peaceful note to end on after all the chaos. But for me, the very last line about hating Christmas sort of disrupts that image. It feels a bit out of place to me, and it took me out of the moment. I think it's something about placing the strong negative emotion of the word "hate" right after the hopeful image of Olivia smiling as she flies away. I figured you were going for symmetry between the end of the chapter and the beginning, but I think the effect would be better with that last line cut. It would leave us focused on what's ahead in the story, instead of what's already happened.

I enjoyed this a lot! I kind of have conflicting feelings on whether I like Olivia, but that's good: she's not really supposed to be all that pleasant. And it means you've done a great job of introducing a complex character. I'm looking forward to getting to know her better, and I plan on adding this to my reading list. Great job and feel free to re-request!

--Maggie

Author's Response: Hi Maggie!

Thanks so much for the lovely review. Don't worry at all about the delay, it's not a problem

I'm glad you're unsure about Olivia. She's not supposed to be a perfect character but I hope I've given her room to develop and as you get to know her more I think/hope she gets more likeable.

And her parents are all round awful, but Katie's family is hopefully some kind of redemption. Jason's one of my favourites, which makes it difficult to write from Olivia's point of view because she dislikes him so much, but I just don't think they'd get along at this point in the story. Olivia's too determined to hate her family and also Gryffindors :)

That's such a good point about the last line interrupting the hopefulness of her flying away. I'll have a think about it and probably cut the line when I come back and edit. Given that it's not a one-shot I definitely would rather focus on what's coming than on what's happened, so thanks so much for pointing that out.

Thank you for all the feedback. I'll definitely rerequest if that's okay :)

Emma x


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Review #23, by AlexFan 

29th August 2014:
I really like Olivia, she seems very realistic and the relationship that she has with her parents seems just like one a rebellious teenager might have (although to be fair, she’s not being rebellious considering very few people are actually worried about who they’re going to marry at such a young age.) And she knows exactly how to get under her cousins skin, which I really like even though she’s not being very nice. As much as she may claim to hate Jason though, you can tell that she cares about him.

Wow, Jason really isn’t very good at coming up with comebacks is he? I mean really, “I know you hate yourself but you don’t have to take it out on me.” I was just sitting here like, “Wow, really, that’s the best you could come up with?” But he seems like a nice person, maybe a little bit of a pushover and sensitive but it sounds like he’s a hard worker and he’s got his heart in the right place. I can also see the resemblance between him and Oliver, the Quidditch obsession was what really did it for me.

I really want to punch Olivia’s mother in the face. Good Lord woman just go jump off a mountain and let your daughter eat whatever the hell she wants. Characters like this make me flippin mad because it’s like UGH YOU ARE LITERALLY THE WORST PARENT TO EVER EXIST. She is literally calling Olivia fat I am absolutely fuming!

Oh okay, Pansy is Olivia’s mother, I understand why she’s so irritating. I don’t know how Oliver and Katie stand her to be honest. They didn’t get along in their Hogwarts years so I have no idea why they would invite Pansy over for dinner.

Wow, Olivia’s dad is hella harsh. Her family is falling apart hot damn. I may hate Pansy with a passion but I’m glad she gave it to Andrew where it mattered (although I don’t think pulling up your husband’s cheating tendencies in the middle of Christmas at a friend’s house is the best thing to do). Of course it’s hard for [i]you[/i] Andrew, the betrayal that Pansy feels must be miniscule to how difficult it must be for you to sneak around behind her back and spit in the face of her trust. She may still be in love with Malfoy (which, let’s face it, we all saw it coming) but at least she wasn’t sneaking around behind Andrew’s back with Draco.

I think you’ve definitely got an interesting start to your story is. You’ve developed your characters enough so that the reader knows what they’re going to be like. I thought the pacing was good, everything fit in nicely and nothing felt particularly choppy. I liked the information that you included as well because it wasn’t too much but enough to let the reader know how the main characters life at home was.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for such a lovely review!

You're so right about Olivia's parents - they're awful but so much fun to write :)

I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

Much love,

Emma x


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Review #24, by GingeredTea 

25th August 2014:
If I'm being honest, I wouldn't have normally trudged through the beginning of this story (I'm bad that way), but then I would have missed what became an interesting story (I suspect I lose a lot of interesting stories to this ADD tendency of mine). I liked where you took this near the end and was eager to see where you would begin this 'missing' mystery.

Thank you for the lovely read, and now I'm going to hit the "next chapter" button if you don't mind, because you have me curious. :)

Author's Response: Aww thank you, I'm glad I made you want to read on, even if it's not the kind of thing you usually read.

Thanks for taking the time to review,

Emma x


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Review #25, by kassandra466 

23rd August 2014:
I liked Olivia, it was a fabulous chapter, I am not a fan of her parents, but I feel like Katie did the right thing trying to comfort her, even if it was unsuccessful. Thank you for the great distraction, I needed it. Anyway I am adoring your Ocs and I can not wait to meet the rest of them

Author's Response: Yayy thank you, I'm really happy to hear you're enjoying it so far!

Much love,

Emma x


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