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6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 

13th August 2014:
I'm back to review another chapter! :D

Wow, Fitz is being super dramatic about the situation with Molly. Threatening his best friend? Max out to make him pay his tab for that. But I guess that he knows that Fitz is completely and totally stuck in his own head and needs to work himself out. Still, that was pretty confrontational!

You know, I have trouble thinking about writing male characters because I've seen so many stories where they seem too much like they were written by girls, and so they behave more like girls. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I like to see stories in which male characters are portrayed just as accurately as girls are by a female author. And vice versa, of course. I think that you've done a fantastic job of this--especially when it comes to Fitz. He's a very masculine character, but he's also incredibly emotional. And yet, his emotions are not out-of-character. They burn like his anger, and if he eventually cries about something, I know it's going to be a HUGE thing. Not something like losing a match or being cold-shouldered by Molly. So thank you for writing such a true-to-life character! :)

Beathan would totally be a neo-Romantic poet if she weren't a Quidditch player, just sayin'. She's so in awe of the gardens that it makes me laugh. She reminds me a lot of my mother, actually. Hahaha. :D

Molly's hair!! Dreadlocks sound like just as edgy of a hairstyle as a mohawk, but Jinks seems to think that the mohawk was better. I think he should definitely grow one, and maybe the others could cut their hair in funky shapes, too. The Prides would certainly make a splash that way! ;D But I like the change. I think that it was time for a change, and if it got Fitz to daydream about it a little bit, then I am totally okay with that. :)

Ooooh, Mariah! I really don't like her at all. Of COURSE she tattled on Fitz and Molly just because she wants to jump into the sack with a few of the team members. She's acting out of jealousy here--jealousy that Fitz and Molly had a romance behind McCormack's back--and that's never a good motive for acting on something. The revelation about her father being a rabbi comes as quite a shock! I guess that what they say about preacher's kids is true, after all...

AHAH! So this Rakes fellow is the one that Mariah cheated on Fitz with, the last straw before Fitz divorced her. He seems pretty raunchy right from the start, and I've barely seen him in action yet! I think he'll be one to watch.

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #2, by AlexFan 

1st August 2014:
Well at least I finally know why Mariah sold out Fitz and Molly. I knew she didn't do it because she had the teams interest at heart. I'm going to take a guess that she was a Slytherin when she was at Hogwarts judging by the fact that she's always looking out for number 1 (which isn't a bad thing). But at least she was honest about why she told Meghan and didn't make fun of Fitz when she realized that Fitz really did have feelings for Molly.

I can understand why Fitz is mad at Rakes but I'm struggling to understand why Rakes is mad at Fitz (this could be completely obvious but I've always been bad at reading in between the lines). Is he mad at Fitz because he caught him with Mariah? Did Fitz beat him up or something after catching him with Mariah?

I know that Molly and Fitz broke it off but I wish that they could at least be friends, it sounds like they need someone to talk to, especially Fitz and the two of them seem to feel better about things after talking about it to each other. But seriously, Fitz and Molly need to sit down and have a talk about everything that has happened because they are not on the same page so far.

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Review #3, by LightLeviosa5443 

7th July 2014:
I'M ALL CAUGHT UP THIS IS SO BITTERSWEET.

And... Enter best friend that's going to tell Fitz he's being stupid. Perfect. I'm glad. This is a brilliant way to start off the chapter. LOL, is that allowed. Awe, Fitz :( Yeah Max, you tell him! I love this scene, this scene is just absolutely brilliant. I love that Max is putting Fitz in his place and pointing out that he's repeating history. I really do just LOVE it. I hate Mariah, still. YES FITZ. YES SHE LOVES YOU.

Well, at least he's being productive and not sitting in a miserable stupor in his flat. I mean, I'd rather have a miserable productive coach than a miserable unproductive coach. Gosh, Fitz. Pay attention. Woah, dreads? That sure is different! Ugh, Fitz, stop being a punk. Ooh, he's thinking about her hair. AWE, he's in so deep there's no return. WHY CAN'T THEY JUST BE A THING THIS IS PAINFULLY HEARTBREAKING. UGH.

MARIAH IS SUCH A ksnjdk fnrjedkgkfjdm I wish I had more appropriate 12+ words to use there. My keyboard slamming will have to be enough to convey my emotions on that one. HOW DOES SHE THINK THAT SHE CAN JUST BE SO... BLAH. LIKE YOU DESTROYED TWO WHOLE RELATIONSHIPS, ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF? Good for Fitz. Don't forgive her. Unless she fixes it between them, then she deserves a little credit. But I don't think she'd do that, so...

Haha, this is great. Smells like my grandmother's house. I love Beathans obsession with the gardens. She's such a funny character, that Beathan. WHY WON'T THEY JUST GET INTO A FIGHT AND ADMIT THAT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. CAN THAT HAPPEN?! SOON?! I might die if they don't get back together soon. The suspense is LITERALLY killing me. Can't you tell by the constant caps-lock? sorry not sorry about that, by the way. :)

Awe. He stared at her and she stared at him and just awe. I also love the concept of that scene, he's in the window and she's down there with Beathan and then she's down there and he's in the window and Beathan is beautifully oblivious so it's this moment that is private and sweet but isn't private at all. Holy run on sentence, now I really am sorry for that. LOL I love how the word bucket wakes up Jinks. Priorities, man.

Oof, Fitz didn't need another way of being loud. He really didn't. I think everyone could've lived without that whistle. I can hear it in my head and it hurts my ears. I love that you point out how much work it is for them to play and how big of a workout it is. I can only imagine how intense it is to be swinging and blocking and flipping and rolling and throwing all while mainting balance on a broom. I mean, just wow.

What's up with Fitz and Rakes? OH. Oh wow. Poor Fitz. But he doesn't have to be mean to Molly. I think she's hurting more than he is. He's just being stupid and blind. She's genuinely hurt because he's offensive AND she loves him. So... STOP BEING A VERY MEAN RUDE PERSON FITZ. JUST STOP.

Ugh. I want them to kiss and makeup. This was a wonderful chapter, though. I really cannot wait for the next one!! ♥


xoxo Sarah ♥
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Yep, Max will absolutely tell him off for being stupid and a coward. And he's not wrong about that! Fitz needed to hear it, possibly more than once. He definitely requires a swift kick in the butt at times. Luckily Molly's the one who loves him, because she's absolutely the type to administer swift kicks as needed.

He really is in too deep, beyond return. So is Molly, she just hides it better and is less sentimental than Fitz is. Mariah is a selfish brat, really. Not evil, just extremely self-centered.

Beathan wants a big garden! I picture her as Scottish born and raised but at heart is one of those people who'd live in a tropical paradise surrounded by an abundance of plants.

Jinks has probably had water thrown on him to wake him up before. He's a napper. He naps everywhere. haha. I love writing Jinks, he's a hoot.

No, he did not need another way of being loud! hahaha... Between him shouting and McCormack's whistles, the team needs hearing protection.

I'm not much for the "Quidditch-toned muscles" idea, but yeah especially at a professional level, I think you'd have to have good leg and core muscles to stay on the broom, and good upper-body as well for flying one-handed while throwing/carrying the Quaffle, that kind of thing. Not to mention balance! I figure they're all in the gym regularly to tone up, especially the Beaters.

More to come on Fitz and Rakes! Stay tuned. And yes, he should not take it out on Molly, when she's just trying to help. He lashes out, but Molly won't take that.

Thank you for the review!


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Review #4, by PolyJuice_ 

7th July 2014:
Hello, you! Liz is back for another review.

Oh my this chapter was a lot to take in. Mariah at least /seemed/ remorseful, having figured out it was more than a fling, but I've learnt to not trust her too much. *sighs*

As much as I loved Fitz and Molly together there's nothing like a bit of ogling on each of their parts. ;) But seriously, Molly? You're still talking to the guy after he dumped you? I'd be super mad. Then again, I suppose I've not got a weak spot for Fitz as Molly does.

I do love me some Jinks, though.

Fab chapter, as usual. Once again you're an amazing writer and I am in love with this story. Expect me back for the next!

Liz

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: I love the House Cup. Reviews! *hugs new reviews*

Mariah, well, she always seems remorseful, but it doesn't make her change her ways. Big part of her problem.

Ogling hehe. Yes they do a lot of that. And she does have to talk to him, since they work together, and she does love him. Ah complicated.

Jinks is probably my favorite of the Prides. He's fun to write.

Thank you so much for the kind reviews! I really appreciate it.


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Review #5, by newgenerationlover 

6th July 2014:
Ok, so I know it's been a while since I have left any reviews for this story, so sorry about that! RL has made my review count go down, but I have been reading, and loving, this whole time :)

Ok, so everyone must say this in their reviews, but I love Molly/Fitz. They are just perfect for each other. They bring out the best in each other, and even they know it, which makes them being apart hurt even more for them. I know McCormack doesn't want them to be together, but they have to find a way! They are each other's true love and I hate Mariah for being the one to keep them apart. Well I can't wait for the next chapter!

-Mary
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: I understand, I'm not the greatest reviewer myself. You're doing better than I am at it! haha

I'm glad you like them together. :D I think they do bring out the best in each other, so they'll work something out eventually. Cause I love a happy ending. ;) True love! Mariah is a butt, isn't she?

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #6, by aurorasoltice 

5th July 2014:
Oh gosh i totally typed a good review and accidentally closed it! Lets see if i can remake it again xD

Molly's hair is rather...unexpected. especially going from than mohawk. Then again i never really have the most creative imagination plus it's wizarding world! Overall i think this should make her look more girl than she wws with the mohawk.

I agree with Max, Fitz is a coward. He is afraid to take he risk and...well maybe he doesnt want to go through a brokenheart, though he is in that phase, sort of atm. I've been having some ups and downs with my bf lately so i can relate in a way, how he want to spare himself from unhappy stuff. Sometimes its easier to think that breaking it off is the easyway out, to runaway from the complication.

Then again, im pro Molly x Fitz :P

Thanks for the update and im quoting my favorite line below :D

It's not that easy. You break things off, but you can't just shut your feelings off because you don't want to feel them anymore. Wouldn't that make things so much easier if you could?

Author's Response: Oh I hate when that happens! The accidental backspace that takes you back a page is the worst.

The change from mohawk to dreads is supposed to be drastic. She wanted a complete 180, so to speak, because she was using it to make herself feel different. It is probably more feminine, yeah.

He totally is, the poor guy. His life's been such crap lately that he's afraid of it being worse. Permanently injured, divorced, career over, it's just been a series of bad things for him so he wants to run away from the thought of something else hurting him.

I am totally pro this ship too lol, obviously since I'm writing it.

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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