Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.

11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TidalDragon 

23rd August 2015:
Howdy! It's been WAY too long, but I'm trying to leave 36 reviews today and I owe you 14 AND it's about time I finish this bad boy, so here I am.

In the beginning we see quite an interesting side of Snape. Obviously our perspective on him is always quite biased coming from Harry in canon - even post-SWM it's biased, just in a different way that I honestly despise - but that's neither here nor there. The point is that you show this Snape that is still capable of interrogations, but isn't nearly as cruel as he is to Harry & Co.

Then with the remainder, we really get an insight into Tristan's home life and habits. It's a bit of a scary insight, but nevertheless rings true for how a lot of people live (something I've discovered the more and more experienced I've become at my job and reading all the police reports, meetings with clients, etc.) so I thought it was very well-handled from all angles, the dealing with the parents about it, the "relationship" with the dealer, and the guilt over Laurel's situation.

Excellently rendered. See you in Chapter 11!

Author's Response: KEVIN! I'm so sorry it took me so long to get to all these AMAZING reviews! Thank you so much for them!

I'm really glad for what you said about Snape. I really wanted characters to be /in-line/ with canon, yet show an /alternate perspective/ than what we saw in canon.

And yay! So stoked you thought it was realistic and well-handled! Accurate and Nuanced were really important goals for me :D

Yee, Kevin you rule! Thank you!


 Report Review

Review #2, by TreacleTart 

12th August 2015:
Hi Roisin,

Here to continue this epic review battle that we seem to have going for the Gryffindor Red vs. Gold Battle. Go team red!

Tristan is headed home for the holiday's and I'm really curious to see what his dynamic at home is like. I wonder if he'll be happier or if muggle life will just remind him of everything he's missing and make him feel worse.

It was sweet of Emily to write to his mum and try to give her hints as to what to get Tristan for Christmas. Vinyl and a new radio seems like a great present for him.

I think it's kind of funny that Tristan's mother is trying to talk to him about Sophie. I would think that all this time later she'd have just let it go. I mean I can understand why Tristan might still think about it, but why should his mother?

Tristan's attitude really is getting out of control. I know that Tristan is a teenager and in the midst of feeling like the world is ending, bu he treats his parents pretty badly.

I feel like I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but your writing is as good as ever. It's easy to read and smooth, so good work!


Author's Response: Responding in reverse chronological order! Bahahahahahaha!

I think Mary still feels really guilty about what happened, because she recognizes how traumatic that experience was for Tristan. And honestly, no one's really talked to him about it, which I think he sorta needs. Then again, no one really wants to talk about that sort of thing with their mom.

Yeah Tristan is a TOTAL brat here. Then again, kids be brats. I've noticed that kids with the absolute NICEST parents feel the most comfortable acting out when they're young, because they know the parent would never hit them or stop loving them or whatever. This phenomenon has been outlined in a few parenting books, which also explain why kids in certain types of families might also act out exactly in the way Tristan has, but that's something that comes up later.

Also, if you notice, he's even a little bit resentful to Emily for writing to his parents (because he feels secure in her affection?) Just general brattiness all around.


 Report Review

Review #3, by Shinicha 

28th July 2015:
Ah, I admit the level of self-hatred that Tristan has reached is hard for me to comprehend, by which I mean to put myself into his position. How do you do it? (Asking this question without wanting to touch any nerve) I feel that even with close friends that had a full-blown depression, it was more out of a struggle to live. But maybe I'm just telling myself that.

The effects of the charm Laurel "invented" immediately reminded me of how H is being described including nausea. So there is the confirmation. For some reason I have utter respect and terror of heroin and it always unsettles me when I read about how people take it. Even though there must be a lot of people who try it and never get addicted... I really hope that Tristan doesn't make a habit of it. Also, "smack" or "smacked" will never be the same for me again! I didn't know this word! (English slang is not my fortť :P )

As to the whole mystery: Now we have additional clues. After the initial wondrous feeling of Snape actually being ... caring!! ... (could it have been just before he gets bitten by Fluffy? I really don't have the exact timeline in my head now!) ... I internally kicked myself - because I thought something was up when Tristan reacted weirdly to Neville being sorted! What, I still don't know. I was thinking about adoption when reading about the scene with Mary, because then the "family" thing would make more sense. And R could be the name of Bellatrix' husband - what was it? Rudolphus I believe. But how that would make Tristan at fault of anything still isn't explained. SO THE MYSTERY CONTINUES.

I really feel with Tristan's parents, because really, what can you do when you suspect your son of seriously abusing drugs? Locking him in wouldn't really solve the matter, probably worsen in.

I still can't grasp the 'energy' between Tristan and Emily. She is so incredibly patient - I would in the meantime have made several desparate attempts to approach him and been jealous during all the hours he disappeared with Laurel. And he seems to be calmed down and somewhat happier around her, it seems so strange to fight off what is helping you!

And a question on the side: how did you go about researching your story? Did you read the first book parallel to exactly match everything that's happening with the book? How do you even THINK of all the side-characters and even invent relatives that fit into the chronology perfectly?!

Also, thank you so much for replying to my reviews, I'm happy to read it :)

Author's Response: You have a really interesting point there, I think. So like, I do think that depression involves amounts of self-hatred that would seem absurd objectively. That said, you are on to something about it. Like, his self-loathing isn't /generalized/ the way you might expect from depression. It's more, I dunno, specific. And there is a reason for that, promise!

Really glad you caught the smack/charm-blend comparison! I'd modeled Laurel's invention and general behavior on that. Also, sorry for destroying the word 'smack' for you!

I got all excited and checked Snape's timeline, but alas, it was actually after the Fluffy bite. Super stoked that you dug Nice!Snape, (or, rather, Unsettling!Snape). And it's insanely exciting to see someone sort out the clues :)

I'm a big fan of Tristan's parents myself--and yeah, writing them, I realized that I didn't know what /I/ would do in their place. Which helped a lot, because I wanted them to be sympathetic and not, like, inept.

You make a good point about Emily. I think that part of it is that she's done a lot more dating than Tristan, so she's more comfortable be patient. And she really cares about him, she doesn't just /want/ him.

OK, RESEARCHING THIS STORY: It was SUCH a thing! I did a whole mess of research before I even started writing. Luckily, I didn't have to read PS at the same time because the HP lexicon has really detailed calendars and timelines. I also used the wiki a lot (but you have to be careful with that one, since they site video games and movies as canon, so you always have to check their sources). As for minor characters, hp lexicon and wiki both have all sorts of character lists, so I compiled usable names and associations to draw from when I needed. While writing this, I usually had like ten research related tabs open and certain things (like the calendar and some Hogwarts maps) that just LIVED at the top of my browser.


Also, I always respond to reviews! Partially because I really enjoy replying, and partially because I too love getting author responses :)

Yee! Thank you again sososososo much for all these reviews!


 Report Review

Review #4, by UnluckyStar57 

15th July 2015:
Hi Roisin! You didn't think I'd forgotten about this story, did you? Eventually, I'll get all of these chapters reviewed, although the Finches helped me out a bit a few months ago. :)

Okay, I have to say before I go into the greater part of the review that I'm looking at this story through an innocent's eyes (well, you knew that already). So I'll try to keep my analysis intelligent, but some of the stuff just makes me feel this awful, aching sadness inside my chest because of the things these kids are going through.

(Also, I'm listening to 90s playlists on 8tracks to set the mood for reading and reviewing this. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is on.)

First, Snape. It seems so strange to me that he would offer a listening ear to his students, but then I remember that he's the Slytherin Head of House, so it was kind of his job. He is really awkward about it, though, listing all those names. I wonder if he had a specific point for doing that, or if he was just being typical Snape. And saying that he "slithered" is such an accurate description of him, so brilliant job on that!

Ooh, and watching Snape touch on potential mental illness was simply painful. It seems so odd coming from him, but I think he most likely suffered from depression himself, so he would know. Ooh, and I could really imagine Tristan's discomfort, especially when Snape mentioned "Longbottom." Remind me--did Tristan have anything to do with the Longbottoms before this point in the story? (Sorry, I have such an awful memory.) Even if he didn't, it seemed weird that Snape would just pluck that name out of a hat. I think he was really trying to get into Tristan's head, and he wasn't even using Legilimency.

Oh no, reading about Tristan from Mary's perspective was just heartbreaking. I think when it's just Tristan, I kind of accept that he is the way he is, like, "oh, Tristan is going through some struggles, this is normal," because the story is usually focused on his thoughts. They've become normal to me, and that is super scary. Looking at it from Mary's perspective though, this isn't normal. Reading about his childhood development was very sad, because I think it would've been terrible for Mary to watch her child stagnate. I'm glad that he caught up, though--he's very smart, but I can imagine that it must've been hard at first. (And if I ever use the wrong terms and/or language to talk about these things in my reviews, please let me know. Again, I'm trying to be conscious of what I'm saying, but I mess up a lot.)

Learning about his name's meaning was eye-opening. It's like his name lends an extra dose of sorrow to his character, like he was destined to have emotional and mental turmoil. Name meanings are important--I should pay more attention to them.

And the Sophie thing was just icing on the (lopsided, stale) cake. His parents didn't need to modify her memory? I don't know, there's just such a disconnect between Tristan and his parents--like the generation gap is even wider because of circumstance and they really just don't understand what he's going through at all.

Especially Eddie. Poor guy, trying to be a good parent, but sooo removed from the situation at hand. And Tristan isn't going to open up, of course not, because he's a teenager and he's ailing and maybe he doesn't even know that he needs help. Aggh, the parent scenes are heartbreaking because of the lack of communication and understanding, and mad props to you for being able to write that so well.

Uh oh, the drugs again. You know how I feel about the drugs. It's still so sad that he keeps descending to new low points. As if the Laurel situation wasn't already bad enough, he's got the knowledge that Sophie was Obliviated unnecessarily, and then her boyfriend was there. It's absolutely awful and scary how he's sinking, and I feel like I can only view him as his parents would--I don't truly understand him, but I get sad because I don't want him to hurt like that.

You've done such a brilliant job so far of characterizing Tristan and his friends, and even though I started reviewing this story a long time ago, I still remember how it was at the beginning. He's come a long way, but it's been mostly downhill. I'm still holding out hope for brighter times to come.

Catch ya later. I think I need a moment to process these feels.


Author's Response: Yay Mallory!

I'd hoped that there would be enough that was universal in this story that people could read it without having /personal experience/ with all this, or at least write things in such a way that it was accessible. I do hope that worked out!

Snape's convo with Tristan is definitely out of the ordinary, and I hope there will be an AHA moment later ;)

I think you're absolutely right, though, that Snape would have experience with depression. In fact, I'd argue he was pretty depressed all through canon. And it seemed like he had a lot of depression as a teenager too (bad hygiene and self care can be a warning sign).

Heh--I'd hoped for /exactly/ what's happening now! You vaguely remembering something about Longbottom but not remembering /what/!

YES! Mary's perspective, and adult perspectives in general, are designed to kind of pull back from the base-line angst of the story to kind of give a more accurate view of what's going on. None of the kids are really equipped yet to examine everything properly, and all of their individual POV's are slightly unreliable when it comes to interpreting themselves, each other, and what's happening. You've picked it up a lot earlier than other readers that Tristan isn't just a moody kid or an angsty dude, but actually suffering from /depression./ But I had hoped to introduce that in a gentle way, slowly, the way he and others would see it--so yeah, it would seem sort of /normal/.

You're totally fine here about language and terms, no worries :) And I was being sort of intentionally vague and obscure about specifics.

Tristan was the very first name I decided on (and man, the song "Tristan" by Patrick Wolf suits him to a spooky degree--probs cos Wolf was using the same associations as I was)

I honestly can't think of a way around modifying her memory, but I think Tristan has a right to still be angry about it. That was a terrible and traumatic thing to happen to him :(

I really REALLY like his parents, and they really are doing their absolute best--but what should one really DO in this situation? It's difficult and complicated, and they're separated from him for months on end, and yeah, Eddie is sort of out of his element. There might be a better choice of action, but it isn't exactly clear, and not having been around him, they don't know the full extent of the situation.

That bit of drug use was inserted to draw a parallel with what Laurel was doing, to show how bad and dangerous it was. And I'm glad for what you said about not understanding Tristan. Like, he has this pathological fear of being /exposed/, and I don't think he really realizes how much he keeps under his hat, and how much people DON'T see. Like, he thinks others see way more of him than they do, and doesn't recognize the disconnect between how he feels inside and how he appears on the outside. 'Walking enigma' is a BIG part of his character.

Yeah, a lot HAS happened, and you're absolutely right that they've come a long way--but not in a good way :(

I try to vary the amounts of angst in this story, so things lighten up a bit in the next chapter. 'A bit' being the operative word :P

Oh Mallory, thank you SO much for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful and insightful review! It means so much to me that you've still stuck with this story :)


 Report Review

Review #5, by water_lily43175 

7th June 2015:
Oh. OH. So there are THINGS happening here, BIG THINGS. The conversation with Snape, what is the significance of Longbottom, hmm? And Mary's little inner monologue. She's not his natural mum, is she? Otherwise why the hell would he have a name she doesn't like? Wild theories of him being a Lestrange or something now. HM.

Poor Tristan. He's not in a good place at all, is he?


Author's Response: You read FAST. PROPS.

And I will keep myself from commenting on your theory, but will say: it's not a bad one!


 Report Review

Review #6, by Slide 

20th December 2014:
It might not be a very KIND thought, but I can't really blame Tristan for being a bit relieved Laurel's not 'his problem' any more. It's not explicitly cowardly to be relieved to be out of a very stressful and difficult situation. The guys COULD have done more for Laurel - but realistically, they weren't equipped to do so, and while it's horrific it degenerated so badly, they're kids. There are a lot of complicated issues here, and Tristan can't HIDE from problems, but, yeah. He's not a bad person for this thought.

Why am I pleased to see Snape? I guess he's been pretty mysterious in this so far. OH NO HE'S BEING MORE MYSTERIOUS, DAMN IT SNAPE.

This is not his birth family. Can't be. I recall the reference a few chapters ago to him thinking of his mother as 'Mary'; it's been weeks since I've read this so I couldn't remember if that oddity had been addressed sooner. Longbottom reference (did he witness what happened to them?), his name being a 'nickname' which stuck... no. HA. Taking him home from the hospital. I see through your allusions intended to throw me off the trail.

Sega and old Sonic. PERIOD. DRAMA. (apparently, I see from the Author's Note, complete with mild anachronisms. We'll forgive you)

Oh, Tristan. Right, amazing time for you to completely descend into a spiral. Inevitable, but you don't do anything by halves, do you? I really like the direct comparison between this and Laurel's charm blend; when it's recreational charms there's an inherent sense of whimsy or harmlessness for us, readers (Cripes, I almost called us 'Muggle readers'). Even with what happened to Laurel, it's magic, fiction. Tristan descending into harder mundane drugs and describing the sense as being comparable to magic ties everything together in a very Real sort of way.

Poor kid. Very curious on how this will all pan out.

Author's Response: Oh good--I'm very relieved that I'm toggling 'realistic and flawed' with 'still sympathetic' well. It can be such a difficult dance!

I LOVE writing Awkwardly Nice Snape :) He's one of the most interesting characters to me, and also tricky to get right, because it's so hard to kind of tease apart his feelings and motivations. I really love writing him, in all his weird complexity, and the challenge of coming up with inscrutability like the books. Like, he's at once this weirdly controlled person (amazing Occlumens, managed to be a double agent, etc), but then he's also weirdly ardent and passionate and loses his temper and stuff. DELIGHTFUL.

Hahahahaha, you are too clever for my 'taking home from the hospital' tricks!

IN MY DEFENSE, they take turns with the sega controller, rather than playing in a multi-player mode, so NOT AN ANACHRONISM! (I originally had them each have a controller and play together--before being compelled to look it up and check!)

Laurel's blend had been intended to be an analog to opiates, and I'm really glad this sequence did it's duty in explaining how TERRIFYING that is! Because, yes! It just seems so clean and easy and fine, using a spell. But the more you think about it, the more you HAVE to think that the concept of mind altering charms is a dangerous one. There is simply NO WAY that that doesn't have serious consequences!

 Report Review

Review #7, by Gabriella Hunter 

27th September 2014:

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I'm sorry that I'm so late. Even though you had reserved a slot, I'm still a day or two behind and that really blows. Forgive me, yes?

So, we're back with Tristan again. I feel like there's something really eating away at him and I wonder if it has something to do with the Big Thing, which we've only seen hints of before. I wonder if he'll have the courage to really talk to Laurel though, I can understand why he's feeling guilty but at the same time, it would be good for them both to get that off their chests.

What I found really interesting was the brief conversation he had with Snape. Now, I'm with Tristan when he was saying how disturbing it was for Snape to offer a bit of warmth. THere's something so horrifying about that for whatever reason but I think that Tristan might have listened if he had just acted normally. Haha. Anyway, I'm wondering what is going on with him and Neville though. War children immediately caught my attention but I can't imagine what the connection could be but it's obvious that it's not nearly a secret as I was led to believe. Snape knows about it of course so that makes me wonder how many other teachers do as well, my mind is spinning with questions.

I liked the brief POV change you gave with his mother too. I was able to get a better understanding of Tristan and how he grew up, he seems like such an introvert. I can understand his mother's worry though and their conversation about Sophie of course had me a little worried. It's obviously been bothering Tristan for a long time and I wonder if they'll ever really talk about it. Tristan doesn't seem particularly inclined towards either of his parents and I wonder where this gap originated from. It kind of makes me sad though. :(

And he's buying more weed! Bad Tristan! I wish that he would give it up but he's not really in the best of places, I don't think. I did like that we got a glimpse into this underworld and I was a little worried about him while he was talking to Sophie's boyfriend (I see her fears over that not working out were put to rest). I'm not sure it was the confrontation he needed but he was slick with his lies, I noticed. It wouldn't have been a good thing to get into a row with that guy.

As usual, the writing is brilliant and your characters continue to be realistic, compelling and tormented in their own way. :D

I'll be back!

Much love,


Author's Response: Hello!

No worries! I don't think you took very long at all!

Haha, I really REALLY liked writing Snape that way. I'm a huge Snape fan myself, but specifically because he's so complicated. Trying, and rather failing, at being kind was an idea I really liked!

I'm really glad you liked the POV shift to Mary, too! I wanted to show that he really is loved (because OF COURSE he is, even if he doesn't realize it), and then also raise all the questions you noticed!

Oh yes, Tristan would be, I think, rather useless in a fight without a wand (and potentially formidable in a fight with one).

Thank you so much for the review, Gabbie!


 Report Review

Review #8, by crestwood 

6th September 2014:
A helpful Snape is always an uncomfortable Snape. I love that he asks Tristan if he wants tea and then gave him some even though he said no. Tristan's stomach dropping at the sound of the name Longbottom just reminded me of how he freaked out when Neville was sorted!! This is bringing us really, really close to the Big Thing. You really allow no slight reaction to exist in a vacuum in this story.

Emily writing to Tristan's mom is the sweetest thing I've ever heard of. How in the world could you not absolutely love that girl. She even helped his mother with his Christmas gifts. What an amazing, thoughtful friend.

Of course his name means Child of Sorrow, it's only fitting.

I'm even more sure that Mary is not his biological mother now. It seems a lot like she took an orphaned/abandoned child home more than anything.

It's so sad that Tristan had to pick up and go off to Hogwarts right when he was beginning to develop more normally. Luckily he found his group of friends fairly early on.

Eddie seems to really be trying to help and I noticed that Tristan was very upfront and honest with him. Possibly because of the fact that he's a Muggle and Tristan obviously holds much stock by non-magical folk.

The run-in with Stuart was super awkward and kind of added insult to injury.

I love the correspondence between Tristan and Emily. Even through written word, they have this way about them.

I think the moment at which he finally signs his full name is a very important moment for him. Possibly it means he's accepting whatever it is he's been hiding. At least in the presence of Emily, who already knows, thanks to Peruvian potion ;D

Author's Response: Hahaha--this is Snape kind of trying to be Dumbledore. And, well, he's *trying* at least :)

Yeehee, Emily is a very Hufflepuffy kind of Hufflepuff. Therefore: best. friend. EVER.

There's this song called "Tristan" by Patrick Wolf, and I liked that it referenced the meaning of the name (lyric: "Sorrow by name and sorrow by nature.") After writing this, I went back and listened to the song for the first time in a long time--and OH MAN, it was such a subconscious inspiration for him! Every lyric suits this story with *weird* perfection! I'd say check it out, but it almost has SPOILERS.

And yeah, Eddie is a good guy. I really like both of his parents. I feel like the parents of teenagers are just as confused as their kids are, and are kind of making it all up/not sure what to do. And yeah, Tristan was *mostly* honest with his dad. MAN, I love the dialogue tag "lied." It manages so much in such a simple, short word!

Bringing the situation with Sophie back in some way was really important to me, so that people would remember what a bad foot Tristan started his school year on. But I didn't want to bring her back specifically, so Stuart was the perfect way to do that!

One reviewer noticed that Tristan's first correspondence with Emily is Ch3 was the most he'd talked so far. I definitely think they were right, and that Tristan is a lot more honest when he's sending letters to Emily.


 Report Review

Review #9, by AlexFan 

2nd September 2014:
Iím in a much better mood today so I wonít be as pessimistic. With the way that Tristan is smoking, the boy is going to get lung cancer before he even hits thirty. He needs to slow down and watch himself (but seriously, is no one learning from what went on with Laurel?) Also I thought it was kind of cute how Tristan actually considers running from Snape, thatís cute sweetie, you think you can actually run from Snape? The man invented Sectumsempra, he can stop a teenage boy from bolting from trouble.

I liked how Snape offered tea and then gave Tristan tea even though heíd refused. ďYou donít want tea, have some tea, I donít care.Ē Snape isnít even being a warm person, but him showing any concern for any student is probably the warmest that he would ever get but yes, itís definitely weird. I think you still kept him in character however despite that so I applaud you. Severus Snape isnít an easy character to write.

I like how you showed that Tristanís parents were in fact worried about him. I didnít really get that impression the first time around but taking a look at his home life now, I can see that Mary and Eddie really do care but they just donít know how to show it. Tristan isnít a little boy anymore, Mary canít coddle him like she used to and Tristan seems to like being touched even less than before. Add on the fact that no one in the family seems to talk much and itís like Tristanís parents donít even know who their child really is anymore.

Every time I read your story, I realise exactly why I donít want to have kids when Iím older, but Iím still enjoying reading this! Also, I thought Iíd let you know that now that schoolís started, Iíll be taking longer to leave my reviews!

Author's Response: Hah, no, I don't think anyone *is* learning from what happened to Laurel--because teenagers are immortal ;)

And yeah, good thing Tristan didn't bother running! Then again, Snape just wanted to give him tea--and awkwardly try and solicit a conversation about Tristan's *feelings.* I thought there was something VERY cute about Snape trying to do that, as he was so out-of-his-element. I'm so glad you thought I kept him in character!

Yeah, I definitely think that Mary and Eddie are also rather out-of-their-element when it comes to their son. Parenting a child is very different, I imagine, than parenting a teenager--and no one strategy works on every kid. All the parents are kind of making it up as they go, and just as lost as their kids are.

Haha, writing this story, I wanted to give all of my friends' parents BIG OL' HUGS :)

Don't worry about taking longer on reviews, school is more important!


 Report Review

Review #10, by CambAngst 

28th July 2014:
Hello, again! Sorry for the long absence, but certain trade-offs were made to allow for the House Cup even and the piper had to be paid. Anyway, I'm back again and using the Common Room review thread as an excuse to kick this off.

TRISTAN had three times started a letter to Emily apologizing for avoiding her and explaining himself, and had three times torn the parchment to shreds. -- After the events of the last chapter it would have been easy to roll right into a thriving Tristan/Emily ship. You've set it up well. Nobody would have held it against you. Instead, you back them up a step, which is pretty much the way that actual angsty teenagers would behave. Pacing, pacing, pacing. This story always has excellent pacing!

Whoa! Of all the things that could possibly happen to a Hogwarts student, I think Snape trying to be supportive and comforting would be near the top of any decent list of the weirdest, most unsettling experiences. Like Tristan, though, I couldn't take any of it at face value. Snape just doesn't do things like this. And then at the end, the other shoe drops. Longbottom Maybe the R name I was looking for wasn't a surname? Maybe Tristan's middle name is actually Rabastan? Rodolphus? You really keep the mystery going!

Aww, it's so sweet that Emily wrote to Tristan's mom. Whether the teenagers realize it or not, that's something solid right there.

"Child of Sorrow" I feel like more and more pieces are falling into place. He was born during the Dark Lord's first rise to power, but well before Harry.

I like that he sees a choice with regard to Sophie where his mother only sees something that had to be done. She's a witch, he's a half-blood who prefers the muggle world in many ways. Makes sense.

Poor Eddie has so many things working against him that I have the utmost respect for the fact that he's willing to make a go at talking to Tristan. Given my doubts about whether Eddie is actually Tristan's father, my respect is that much greater. Poor bloke is trying so hard to do the right thing and I think he really might have gotten there if Tristan had been in a mood to give him have a chance. Kind of ironic that Tristan holds the muggle world in such high regard and yet he completely blows off the earnest muggle sitting in front of him with a hand held out in sympathy.

Ah, the visit to the dealer's seedy apartment. I might or might not be in a position to say that you captured the details of the experience sublimely. Drugs tend to lead you to hang out with people that you'd never in a million years associate with for any other reason. Also make decisions about your personal consumption that you wouldn't make otherwise. Again, excellent description of the physical effects of that decision.

Oh, wow. So Sophie had a boyfriend. Reintroducing her earlier in the chapter when Tristan's mom was talking to him was a small touch, but a really important one. It's a good thing Sophie's boyfriend buys the story about what happened. He didn't sound like anyone you'd want to mess with and Tristan was being stubborn about going out unarmed.

I hope that Tristan finds the wherewithal to buck up and go see Laurel. Probably won't happen, but I'm hoping anyway. He does, however, lower his walls just enough to sign his full name. Baby steps...

Great chapter! It had so many small things in it that added up to an excellent whole. Your writing was also error-free and it flowed very nicely. Loved it, can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Ha, no worries! Although, your detailed and thoughtful review makes me feel hella guilty for the many nonsensical and repetitive ones I left on Detox.

Yeah, Tristan/Emily can't be that easy. It's only chapter five--where's the fun in that?

Hah, being offered tea by Snape is definitely one bazillion times more unsettling than being shouted at. Snape's fascinations and relationships with students are endlessly interesting. He spends 6 years verbally abusing Harry, but sacrifices himself for him. He weirdly loves Draco, despite that Snape's WHOLE LIFE is avenging Lily, and Draco is of Death Eater stock.

This story flowed in weirdly chronological order during the plunny phase. I came up with Tristan, and knew I wanted to kickstart the story with a woefully timed memory modification--BECAUSE THAT IS SO SAD. That whole idea, that the magical world could be a cruel place in novel ways, was really interesting to me. I also like that Tristan and his mates are kind of anti-statute-of-secrecy, and so were the Death Eaters/Grindelwald and co, but for very different reasons.

Your point about Eddie is really interesting. I feel like, in his own incorrigible way, Tristan actually gave his father more patience right then than he would anyone else for precisely those reasons. I mean, he was more honest than most kids would be in the same situation.

I had WAY too much fun writing the scene with "Spider." I actually researched the history of Sonic the Hedgehog to figure out if it was era appropriate to have multi-player mode, or if they had to switch.

Glad you liked the Sophie play-out! Wanted to remind readers that Tristan started the year in a really crappy way, lest I strain their capacity for sympathy too much with his prat-ness. I really CANNOT IMAGINE how traumatizing of a first time that would be--how lonely it would make someone feel, if the other person couldn't even remember it (and not in a real-world roofie way--which is entirely different).

Thank you for taking the time to review!!!

 Report Review

Review #11, by marauderfan 

12th July 2014:
Tristan mourns the loss of his stereo more than the loss of Laurel. *snort* Um, I have no comment on that. Typical. But I actually don't think he's being selfish to think Laurel is better off where she is - she really did need help, and now she's getting help.

Also, lololol at Snape trying to be friendly offering tea. He fails at whatever he's trying to do, although the intimidation certainly works. Aah, I'd forgotten about Tristan's reaction to Neville in the beginning of the year! I think Tristan is actually related to the Lestranges, not Mary and Eddie. Sly hints, these. But I'm really enjoying trying to figure it out as each chapter reveals a little more.

Hm. You don't mention how old Tristan was when he was brought home from the hospital, and I don't think he was a baby then. I think he was six.

Awkward scene with Tristan meeting Sophie's boyfriend, that's exactly what he needs is the past being dragged up when he's so sensitive about it already. :-/ Also, Tristan would like Kafka, haha. I continue to appreciate all the music and literary references in here, it makes the story just that much more realistic in the time period and characters.

Tristan hesitated, quill poised, before finishing a swooping signature with his full name. -- Ugh, you're such a tease. :p When do we get to find out?!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Oh I know! Tristan can be a real pill. He definitely isn't a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff. I definitely don't think these kids realize how unqualified they are to help one another, and because they're teenagers, don't put too much stock by adults. I don't think he genuinely believes that Laurel is getting help. More like she's being punished for some transgression.

In the first draft, ALL WAS REVEALED during the Snape scene--but I decided that was way too soon, and paced it out further. Also, the story got longer than anticipated when I got to know the characters better. (I wrote this whole thing out like, a year ago, then did lots of revisions before uploading.) There will be flashbacks to the rest of that convo later ;)

And ahaaa, glad you forgot-then-remembered about Neville. So many little hints, a few red herrings, teeheee.

"You don't mention how old Tristan was when he was brought home from the hospital," well aren't you clever!

I know, Kafka, right! It was originally going to be Nietzsche, but I think Kafka was a better choice for Tristan. Nietzsche suits Isobel better, in a way. But she doesn't seem like the type to read a muggle philosopher.

Can I just say how very VERY cool it is to read someone's responses chapter-by-chapter! I really appreciate your taking the time to leave reviews!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review