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14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by oldershouldknowbetter 

18th February 2016:
With this chapter, and the end of the last one, your story enters a new phase.

Hi there Beth, back for another go at some BvB. I have a moment to read and review and lo and behold, up pops your name once more. How lucky am I. I just re-read the whole of your story recently and it is just so good. I wanted to read your latest update, but I found that it was slightly out of context - so I just had to re-read everything from the beginning *sigh* what a burden, I don't think.

So on to this chapter, the beginning of a new phase for your story. A lot of the trials of Rose-being-alone are over, now that she has truly connected with her helpmate, she can hopefully move on a bit more than the marking time that she has been doing.

This chapter is centred around the investigation of Stannous and it is a good place to go on from. We will see what has come before and hopefully see the way that the investigators will progress from here. It's also good in that you flesh out this part of the characters of a few of the people that are important to your story. Dom, Albus and Scorpius are all Aurors and it is good to see them investigating. We have seen Rose being good at her job, so it is good to see the others being good at theirs.

Pairing up with their Mentees is a good device. You use it well to highlight and contrast the relative strengths of each character.

Hot headed Albus, again you show that the passions of the man quite often override his objectivity. He doesn't like the clinical way the younger Aurors are talking about Rose and her abduction. They are asking the right questions and Dom points out, quite well, that everyone's passions who were concerned for Rose, overrode their objectivity at the time. They didn't ask the questions then, so settle yourself down Albus!

And Scorpius is beating himself up about not telling the others that he is beating himself up about it all too much! Oh Scorpius.

You show again that once Albus has calmed himself down, he is a very good Auror - he has taken in what Kali said and rushes back to ask what her other, unspoken, query about the case was. Kali puts into words something that you have had lingering around the backs of the minds of your main characters - just how were the wards breached to allow them to get to Rose? I have my suspicions, but even as of the latest chapter (as of writing this review, that's about thirty four or so) you have not revealed the truth. You are going to keep us waiting and guessing and second guessing ourselves for some time to come.

They end up with a list of questions, ones which will form a thrust of the story to come, as regards the investigation at least. But the most important one, and the one that you have Scorpius re-iterate (as it's the most important one to him too) just exactly why is Stannous after Rose?

A good chapter. A bridging chapter that connects the story as passed and shows us the form that the story is now going to follow the lines of. Not only does it convey the information that you wanted us to know, it also does so while illuminating the characters well. I get a bit more about Dom, for instance, about how she thinks and acts, from the brief encounter with her. It's only a paragraph or two, but that's enough. I now understand her a bit more.


So, just why is Stannous after Rose Weasley ... only time will tell.

Andrew,
Oldershouldknowbetter.

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Review #2, by MrsJaydeMalfoy 

21st September 2015:
I would definitely call that a breakthrough! Now that they're asking the right questions, they can hopefully come up with some answers!

And I'm sorry that this review isn't longer but I have to keep reading! :D

Author's Response: Hiya!

No worries about the review length ♥

Yes! Asking the right questions is the first step!

♥ Beth


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Review #3, by TreacleTart 

17th August 2015:
Hi Beth!

I'm here for our review swap!

It's been entirely too long since I read the last chapter and I'm really sorry I haven't gotten back sooner. Life has been crazy with House Cup and work and what not.

Anyway, I'm glad to see that everyone is taking this kidnapping business so serious and trying to do the right thing this time around. I know it's really difficult for Albus, Scorpius, and Dom to hypothesize about what happened to their cousin, but it's true that if they want to figure out what's going on they need to be objective. They really have to look at this exactly like she's just another case.

Poor Scorp. He seems like he's having a really hard time too and it makes me nervous that he's not being honest about how he's feeling. I know he's trying to hold it all in so that he can do his job, but holding it in too much can be self destructive. He really needs to open up and talk to someone.

I'm glad that there wasn't any crazy heartbreak in this story. After the last chapters I don't know if I could've handled it. I'm glad everyone is getting at least one chapters worth of peace. *hugs Rose and Scorpius protectively*

Good job Beth!

I hope to be back for another chapter much sooner this time.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin!

I love your reviews! Thanks for doing a swap. This chapter is the first of a series that start with "Break-" and it's kind of chapter arc of the story where it all takes place in one day - but it's a doozie of a day - haha. I can't wait to find out what you think of the rest of them.

Yeah, the group is having a rough time with it. Overall, they are a bit too close to the situation. Al is so full of passion that he forgets himself sometimes and Dom is usually fairly stoic, but you know it's got to be eating her. Scorpius tries is best to be even keel, but you can't really blame the guy.

Haha - I think we needed a chapter of calmness (that might be the cue for you to hold on to your hats for the next one - eeep!)

And I *always* hug Rose and Scorpius protectively ;)

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #4, by Tonks1247 

3rd July 2015:
Hiya Beth!

So. Before I get too far into this review. I need to share an observation. Every chapter title starts with the letter B. And there are a series of Break and Bound starting a couple of them. And I /just/ now realized it.

Moving on.

WHY MUST THESE QUESTIONS ALWAYS RETURN?! I donít understand how Stannous got past the wards for the party or in Roseís flat. Like, they are famous kids who have always needed wards, and with maybe just a smidge of paranoia from their parents, are taught to put them up rightÖIt has to be some sort of inside job, but honest to goodness, who? Who would have it out for Rose? And anti-apparition within the flat should stop Stannous but it doesnít. Is there something about the Anti-apparition wards that gets placed by the ministry? I wouldnít think so, but where would he have someone on the inside?! LIKE SERIOUSLY WHY DID KALI HAVE TO BRING ALL MY QUESTIONS BACK TO MIND?!

Also, the new question: Why did Stannous take Rose for 6 days and then return her?

And I feel bad for Scorpius. This is a lot of stress about his girlfriend to have to handle. Itís too much for Rose to have to handle. Like, no one should have to handle stuff like this.

SIDE NOTE (Since Iím good at them): Colleen Creevey takes me a lot of brain power to read correctly. Could be the current hour in the morning, but Colin keeps interfering with Colleen. And that would be the end of this side noteÖ xD

And I think thatís it for this chapter. It was shorter, but still gave rise to a lot of important questions and points! Great job!

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Hi there Mikaela,

Yes - I started the B thing unintentionally with the fist few chapters and I felt I needed to keep it going. Sometimes it's a huge pain in the butt because I have a hard time coming up with "B" words - and suggestions are always welcome :) For the series of chapters that start with "break," all of those took place in one super intense day, so it way my way of tying them all together. The set of chapters that all start with "bound" were all sort of about Rose and Scorpius's relationship milestones, so I gave them similar titles as well.

Yes, it is really, really odd how Stannous is getting into Rose's flat. Hmm... I like your ideas - you're right to be suspicious :D

It is a LOT to handle, but Rose is strong (much stronger than she will admit).

Haha - sorry about Colleen Creevey. I put that in there because she is Dennis Creevey's daughter (first born child) and he wanted to name her in memory of his brother, Colin. I looked it up and Colleen is the female version of Colin. She is one of the few OC's that don't have a name from one of the elements on the periodic table =)

As always, thank you so much for the reviews!

♥ Beth


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Review #5, by merlins beard 

6th May 2015:
Another great chapter. I'm actually admiring you a lot :D

The questions they came up with have been on my mind for quite a while and I'm glad someone finally asked them because I really need an answer to that same question Scorpius is desperate to answer, too.

WHY does Stannous go after Rose? Why does he bring her back and then come for her again? There has to be a reason behind it. The chances that he just chose a random victim are practically nonexistent. There would probably have been many chances to abduct someone, most of them much easier and more convenient than taking Rose on her graduation day.

Even though everything is tense and fear has a tight hold on all of them, I think the last couple of chapters were a little nicer. I needed that, the ice-cold hand that has been gripping my heart since the chapter with Stannous in Rose's room has now had some time to dissolve. I fear it's not going to stay away for too long. You're probably not done scaring me and Rose yet.

I'm really looking forward to the next chapter

Love
~Anja

Author's Response: Hello again,

I like your description of the ice-cold hand dissolving. I think that's a fabulous way to describe Rose and Scorpius. Things aren't clear - not by any stretch, but they are at least a bit - *softer* - for now.

The answers you seek will be revealed sooner rather than later :)

♥ Beth


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Review #6, by crestwood 

12th March 2015:
Hi Beth, I'm finally back to finish our swap.

I really like this chapter because I'm getting to meet some characters that I haven't seen much of so far. I didn't expect to have a chapter so heavily focused on the mentees, but I think they're such interesting people, even if they aren't main characters or anything.

I have no idea how you manage with this story--the storyline is so dense and complicated. I couldn't keep up with all the ways they're approaching this case all at once as a writer. (although, as a reader, I soak it up fine :P)

I don't think I've ever known the hard facts about Rose's abduction. This chapter told me a whole lot that I wasn't aware of before. I really like the 'putting the timeline on the wall' thing. It makes it easier to follow because I'm picturing it as visual now.

I had a feeling that Stannous would have falsified all sorts of things at Hogwarts. They really should work on better background checks. I can't wait until the day I get to find out where he really came from because I have been wondering since he was introduced.

I'm glad that Scorpius comes to his senses so quickly about blaming himself for what happened to Rose. I really don't think Stannous was going to let him get in the way of his kidnapping.

I understand why Stannous didn't kill Rose since I've seen so far ahead in the story, but I don't exactly understand what motivated him to kidnap her in the first place. Like, what did he get out of it? Sick joy? Or something else? And why did he just return her as if nothing had happened? I have a lot of questions :P

I also really wanted to know how Stannous got into their wards. I don't quite understand yet but I have a feeling that won't be answered for a while.

I'm so invested in the mystery of this story. You've written one of the best that I've come across and also one of the best romance stories I've read here. It's incredible that you're able to balance those genres so skillfully. You're really so amazing

Author's Response: Joey!

Again with another amazing review. I'm just all over the place with how kind and thoughtful you are :)

I did waiver back and forth with whether or not to introduce the mentees. But I really needed some characters to flesh out this mystery who weren't related to OR desperately in love with Rose (I'm staring at Scorpius right now). So, I brought them in to be a set of unbiased voices. They will be serving me well in the future (*Beth sits pats her fingers together evilly*).

Yeah, Stannous was pretty adamant about getting to Rose. He went to a LOT of trouble for her. And yup, he is pretty sick. *I* even shudder when I think of it.

Good sleuthing skills, noticing that he got past the wards... more to come on that. Hehe

I can't think of a higher compliment than to hear that you are really into the mystery! Thanks so much. Eep! Joey! Now, I'm blushing

Thanks so, so, so much!

♥ Beth


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Review #7, by UnluckyStar57 

19th January 2015:
Hi! I'm here for the January BvB. :)

Wow, this investigation really does hit close to home for Dom, Scorpius, and Al. I feel like they would act with the same objectivity that Kali, Colleen, and Caesar have, if only it weren't a case about Rose. But the three non-relatives/significant other(s) brought up some really good points, and even though it'll be stressful, I hope that Rose's family/boyfriend can listen to them.

One thing that I would like to point out is that you sometimes switch tenses in the middle of paragraphs. It isn't so bad, but it made me a little uncertain about which tense I was supposed to be reading in sometimes.

Ooh, but that's far overshadowed by the things that you do REALLY well, namely: adding to the sense of mystery about Stannous and asking the relevant questions that keep me guessing about his motives. I never thought about it before, but yes--why DID he gravitate towards Rose, only to return her with inflicting any major physical damage? What's he playing at? This villain is super intimidating and scary, and he hits people where it hurts. I want to know more about him, and at the same time, I don't.

Really brilliant chapter! Maybe one day I'll be caught up with reading and reviewing this story. :)

~Mallory♥

Author's Response: Hiya Mallory!

Thanks so much for this awesome review!

The investigation was a little *too* close for those three. Harry was right to add some "fresh eyes" to the case.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your cc. I went back through the chapter and woah! I can't believe how awful it was in terms of switching tenses. I'm still a little unsure if I've done it right, but I made some MAJOR changes and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you pointing that out!

Keep reading - it is all revealed soon!

Thanks again! ♥ Beth


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Review #8, by lindslo2012 

7th October 2014:
Hey there Beth,
I am SO sorry for the wait! I haven't had internet, moved, and ect but here I am! And I see you have lots more chapters for me to review, woohoo! :)

So I am really starting to see Scorp's love for Rose. He is calm, collected, but extremely protective over her. This was a horrible thing that happened to her and he only wants to be there for her.
I hope that this chapter means that they are starting to really lead toward the investigation now. Maybe they will finally figure it all out so it won't happen again. And if it does I bet Scorp will be there to protect her. I love your next gen story Beth! I can't wait to read more!!!

-Lindsey

Author's Response: Lindsey!

I missed you! I hope all is well. No worries about the review - I can wait forever for one of your awesome reviews ♥

Yeah, the investigation is starting to pick up. And I was so excited to see that you can feel how Scorpius loves Rose. He doesn't always maintain his cool, but he is good at rallying a group to focus on a task. He wants to get to the bottom of this and sometimes Al's temper gets the best of him.

I'm off to re-request again. Thanks so much Lindsey!

Beth


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Review #9, by LightLeviosa5443 

20th August 2014:
Woo! Review Swap! (though honestly I might keep going for a few chapters because Isobel went to bed so she won't know I waited and I love this story. So addicting.)

WAIT BUT I DIDN'T REVIEW THE WHOLE TIME I WAS READING THIS CHAPTER. OOPS. I really love the way that you had the six of them working and how everyone had their own section and strong points. And I loved the reactions. I loved that Scorpius tried to keep it all in while Albus just got ridiculously angry and Dom was right there to fight him and the mentees didn't back down.

I also really really really loved the way that Kali pieced things together. A lot of them were things I didn't think about before, but now I'm all oooh. And even though I kind of already know what's going to happen I'm super excited to see this progression and everything!! This chapter was so absolutely wonderful. I'm also sorry that review is so short. I blame two things.
1. I want to keep reading so i'm like AHHH QUICK QUICK
2. I didn't comment while I read so now i'm forgetting things!

But this was lovely. ALSO OHMIGOSH YOU MENTIONED ME YOU CUTE PERSON YOU.

xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: Hi Sweetie,

I love *all* of your reviews - because I can tell that your words are from the heart. This is the first chapter where we see them trying to get this mystery solved. I am so worried that I put too much into the details, but now I'm worried that I didn't put enough!

Yeah - Al does need someone to keep him in check - and the mentees, while young and fresh are all pretty bright of their own accord.

1. I'm *so* glad you want to keep reading!
2. That's alright - this review was Amazeballs!

Of course I mentioned you ♥

Beth


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Review #10, by luciusobsessed 

15th July 2014:
I like the edge of mystery to this chapter, it really brings a lot of questions to light. I don't know why but a part of my suspects maybe someone from the inside is involved? It's just a random guess though, I'm not sure. Either way, this Stannous guy is seriously scary and I can't wait to figure everything out about him.

Author's Response: So this chapter is where the mystery starts coming to light. Hmmm... who is involved? I'm not gonna say right now, but it really is suspicious how they got into her flat and the party.

Stannous is a creepy dude, no doubt. And he is definitely targeting Rose. But why?

Thanks again - so excited that you are so into this story!

Beth


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Review #11, by kenpo 

12th July 2014:
Okay, so I'm totally addicted to this story. I'm probably going to end up bugging you for updates and then you'll get mad and report me and I'll get banned.

Oh no! I won't bug you too much, I promise.

Okay, this. Oh my god. I love how you've given us an inside look at how auror investigations go! There are just too many questions here. I don't even know what to predict. I have zero ideas about how any of this will go, but I'm along for the ride!!

Maybe I'll eventually give you some predictions...

I love Dom. I don't know if I've mentioned that yet, but I do. She's fantastic.

Will we get to see the conversations with the staff? I'm sure that speaking to people who knew Stannous will give at least sooome information, right? Hopefully.

What else do I want to talk about?

I want to know the answers to all of the questions that were posed in this chapter. Are any of the other characters in danger? I hope not! Who are the other two guys?

I think right now my working theory would be Death Eater revenge? I can't see it being a fanatic thing, or else he'd be acting alone, right?

I SAID I WASN'T GOING TO SPECULATE.

I'm done. I need to keep reading.

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

Author's Response: Seriously, you can bug me all you want for updates! Bug away!

Also, feel free to speculate! Death eater revenge is a good one...

Dom is awesome. She takes no crap and is a straight shooter. Here we get to see her in a rare emotional moment. She was genuinely scared for Rose during the kidnapping.

Yeah, everyone wants to know the answers to those questions - even Harry!

I have a new chapter in the queue right now - so an update should be coming along. Thanks again!


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Review #12, by MargaretLane 

18th June 2014:
Ah, that mystery about his background might explain something.

I do find the fact he has two associates odd. If it's personal, I wouldn't expect him to have help and there are some indications it just might be.

I'm not sure a commencement ceremony really sounds right for Hogwarts. As far as I know, the UK don't usually have graduations at secondary level and while there is some evidence Hogwarts have some sort of ceremony, I would imagine it would be more of a leaver's feast or something. Maybe a graduation feast. They probably wouldn't even have got their N.E.W.T. results after all, so whether they had gotten any qualifications would still be in question.

Of course, wizards don't seem to have the same degree of third level options, though of course, the Auror training is pretty much the equivalent of college and presumably things like Healers would have something similar, but since a lot of jobs don't seem to require further training, it is possible Hogwarts MAY have a college-typed ceremony. But they kind of have their own traditions anyway, so something more wizarding world sounds more likely. In Ireland, a lot of secondaries have a Graduation Mass for the leaving class, although it's before the exams, so "Graduation" probably isn't the most accurate term. So I just feel the wizarding world might have something that fits their overall culture.

If he were an obsessional fan, I doubt there'd be other people involved. Not many people are willing to help obsessional fans, for one thing, as there isn't much in it for them. Also, I can't see him saying to anybody, "hey, there's this girl I'm obsessed with. Will you help me abduct her?"

Now, of course it's possible they BELIEVED he was taking her for a ransom or something and he really had his own agenda they didn't know about, but still, I kinda feel this is more complicated than that. What it could be, I still haven't figured out, but I suspect it's somehow related to his identity.

After all, if he were just an obsessional fan, he'd hardly have changed his name and all, would he? Of course, he could have reasons for doing so unrelated to his crimes, but that DOES make it seem like either this crime was premeditated or at least that he planned to do SOMETHING illegal and I would imagine becoming obsessed with somebody and abducting them isn't exactly something you plan in advance.

Although, I guess he could have come across her elsewhere, even just from following the news about the Weasleys, and then deliberately changed his name and got a job in her school in order to make her acquaintance. That's not impossible.

Yeah, Al needs to calm down. Actually, this is again reminding me of something I have planned for later in my series when somebody is abducted and somebody connected to them is like, "I'm sorry. I can't comment on this. Normally, I'd advise people to do y, but when it's my own (relationship), I just can't suggest risking that".

I'd be inclined to put all of Dom's speech together, even when she interrupts herself to take a deep breath.

And I really LIKE her explanation as to why they didn't wonder more about what happened. It makes sense they'd just be relieved she was alive and apparently unharmed. And since she seemed to be going to a lot of trouble to convince everybody she was fine, I can easily understand them just accepting that.

Kali is asking similar questions to the ones I did, except I didn't think of the question of the party. I guess I just assumed he was a friend of a friend of somebody or somebody's old schoolmate or something, who'd had too much to drink and even when I found out he was an associate of Stannous, I didn't think to question what he was doing there. The question of what he wanted with Rose and how he got into the flat did intrigue me though.

I don't believe it's ransom money he wanted. If it was, he'd have asked for some. Nor do I really believe he's just obsessed with her. My instinct would be that it's some kind of revenge for her family beating Voldemort and the Death Eaters, but then, why just Rose? Why not go after Albus or Lily? They are Harry's kids after all, and while Ron and Hermione were DEFINITELY instrumental in the defeat of Voldemort, I would have thought Harry'd be public enemy number 1.

Unless of course, that's why you have Lily not graduated yet. Maybe Stannuos is planning to do something to her later, but is finding it hard to get access to her at an age when she's usually either at Hogwarts or at home.

And I think more questions is a start. Even if they've no idea how to answer them, it gives them an idea as to what they are looking for.

Author's Response: Hi!

So sorry it's taken ages for my response.

Thanks for the explanation of British graduation practices. I really like the idea of calling it a graduation feast. It sounds like something Hogwarts would do - since they have a start-of-term feast and all.

Al is super protective of Rose. They have been each other's best friend since they were little and being sorted into Ravenclaw without the other Weasleys kind of reinforced their friendship. He carries guilt around at not having picked up on Stannous's true character early on. Al wants to be a great as his father is - and he was fooled by a professor. I think he needs to prove to himself that he is a good auror.

I am relieved that you find Dom's explanation believable. I was worried about that. Rose returns to Hogsmeade and, after someone recognizes her, it takes about 15 seconds for every auror and member of the MLE and Weasley and Potter family to descend upon the village. She just begs to go home and rest - declares that she is fine and neither her parents or uncle have the heart to put her through any more trauma, so they acquiesce. No one is going to argue with them.

Nope, it's not ransom or obsession, but I had to have those ruled out. Revenge is always on the table when it comes to dark wizards and the Weasley/Potters, so that is another consideration...

It is indeed curious that Rose is being targeted and not the others. Hmmm...

Thank you so much for this lovely, lovely review. I am always so excited when I see one from you!

Beth


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Review #13, by dracodarlingxx 

15th June 2014:
yayayayayay
grrreat story :D :D
please update soon xx

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you so much this! It made my day - I'm really glad you like the story. I should be putting the next chapter up really soon!

Beth


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Review #14, by CambAngst 

15th June 2014:
Well, well, well, what have we here? The Aurors are hard at work in a new chapter!

This is a very interesting mystery when you put all of the pieces together. There's something very deliberate about the way that Stannous abducted and tortured Rose. An agenda that's not immediately apparent. If it was a simple act of violent retribution against the Potter/Weasley family, there would have been no reason to return her alive. It obviously wasn't about money since there was never a ransom demand. If the point was to send a message of some sort to Harry, Ron and/or Hermione then it didn't work out so well because Rose concealed so much of what happened to her until just recently. What are we left with for possible motives?

I'm starting to think that Stannous's motivations are very personal and they're centered narrowly around Rose and very possibly Scorpius. I'm not letting go of the obvious similarities between Stannous's name and the surname of Scorpius's great uncle and aunt. Maybe the message that's being sent here isn't meant for the Trio at all. Maybe somebody doesn't like the fact that the only heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black is getting cozy with the half-blood granddaughter of the ultimate blood traitor family? Or maybe it's something else entirely. You see how intrigued and confused you've made me? :p

I like the power dynamic that's playing out between Albus and the mentees. It's not at all hard to see where Albus is coming from, but that snappish tendency you've been building up with him since the scene where he duels Harry surfaced again. You've done a good job developing his character and you've paced it really well.

Dom seems to feel most of the same things that Albus is feeling -- so does Scorpius, to a different extent -- but she handles those feelings much better. There's a lot more velvet padding the knife of her emotions than you get with Albus.

"We lived in a state of complete panic and then were so relieved that she seemed unharmed that we didn't ask these questions when we should have!" -- Excellent observation, Dom! And a lot of time has passed. The answers won't be any easier to come by now.

They're going to pretty great lengths to keep everything concealed from Ron, which is actually quite sensible. Ron doesn't handle stuff like this well. I think it would be nice to have Hermione's big brain on their side, but she'd probably feel bound to share with her husband.

Excellent writing! I didn't see a single typo or any other problems. Good job!

Author's Response: Hi Dan,

Your reviews always make me smile.

I'm so pleased that I have intrigued and confused you! :) Stannous is definitely targeting Rose Weasley - and it is a pretty big mystery.

You have a great intuition, Dan. All I'm gonna say.

Al is a hothead. He is all passion and a little bit of ego, but he feels things deeper than most. Rose is his best friend and he doesn't always see things objectively when it comes to those that he loves - he is a lot like Ron in that respect.

Dom is a tough cookie and she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve, but she is just as shaken about this as the rest of them. She just goes about things in a more methodical manner.

Harry doesn't like keeping this from Ron and Hermione. I think he could use their help as well, but he doesn't want to betray Rose's confidence. They are a lot tougher than Rose thinks. Rose just sees her parents as "Mum and Dad," not necessarily as tough, dark wizard exterminators. Can anyone really look at the people who changed their nappies and see a superhero?

Thanks again - next chapter should be in the queue soon!


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