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15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HermyLuna2 

22nd April 2015:
It's wonderful how you interweave descriptions such as for Holly, Albus and Lester here. The way you do it makes it interesting and never tiresome. The same goes for your dialogues, they are cute and witty and make the story very pleasant to read. 'Slytherindors' was a funny word invention. It's interesting how in this story, the Slytherins and Gryffindors are on better terms with each other and have turned twice as threatening together.

Author's Response: thank you so much! i love this bunch of characters and i'm glad you're enjoying the way they're portrayed and the way they interact. thanks again for reviewing!

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Review #2, by TheHeirOfSlytherin 

21st March 2015:
Macho Manly Louis Weasley. What a title. I wish this was real just so I could see him try to salvage his reputation. :P

Professor Vector seems like one terrifying woman. I wouldn't want to cross her at all, I'd be doing exactly what Rose and Scorpius did and I'm a Slytherin. Except the bow. Oh, my God. I can't believe he actually bowed. Hahaha!!!

Then again, it is, as he so kindly pointed out, high treason. ;)

The big, dramatic reveal probably would have been big and dramatic if they'd waited till the end of the year... or until they were discovered. Then again, I would have laughed even harder if the response was still Cool. Who's for gobstones?

The Corruption of Holly Holyoake: The title of the Order of the Raven's memoir. ;)

Potions is her kingdom... just saying that has jinxed it. After talking about their pride, you just know now that Louis is going to hit her in Potions.

Ooh, and as much as I hate to say it, he got her good. To actually bring about at least the beginning of what looks like a panic attack, though. I'll hit Louis for her. *nods*

I can't wait to see Holly's idea now. It bet it'll be good.

Sam.

Author's Response: i wish it was real too tbh we're in agreement on that. louis is a loser

professor vector is basically mcgonagall 2.0 except with less biscuits and tartan

lowkey wish i had saved the dramatic reveal for the end of the year just to keep the reaction as "cool. who's for gobstones" because it's so anticlimactic and wonderful

if they ever write a memoir that will definitely be the title

you called it. before it even happened. good job

thank you for the review


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Review #3, by BellaLestrange87 

7th February 2015:
Hi Lisa! This is for the Blue vs Bronze review battle!

I love how Professor Vector obviously doesn't know that they're the Order of the Raven. Of course, nobody would be expecting them to chase after the Fred Weasley Memorial Scholarship (since they could probably all win a normal one easily) so they're the last suspects on the list. Heck, they're not even on the suspect list, which I think is going to ensure for general hilarity to come. And since we know that they're behind it, the sight of them solemnly promising to stop the Order of the Raven (while actually doing no such thing) made me laugh.

Louis is also a, umm, not very nice person to girls (trying to keep this appropriate here). I HATE HIM EVEN MORE. How can he get even worse? You're going to publicly humiliate him again, right? But I love the fact that his ex isn't moping about after him and wishes that she could've pulled something more malevolent on him. And then the reveal! I think that Ravenclaw house didn't see the prank as the start of the five's yearning for the FWMS, instead regarding it as inter-family pranking. That explains their reaction of "That's nice."

And I love how they're preparing for retaliation by bickering. Of course Louis is a snake; he fits all the horrible Slytherin stereotypes perfectly. Why on earth did she let her guard down? I have a feeling that something horrible is going to happen in Potions. There have been too many incidents in the books of exploded cauldrons causing hospital wing trips for me to suspect otherwise.

Well, to be honest, that prank was a lot less violent than I thought. I thought that Louis would've enchanted the cauldron to blow up or something, although I suppose having to hand in a T-worthy potion would embarrass a Next-Gen-era Snape.

I love how Albus is one of the ones with a acerbic wit. With all the sarcastic lines Harry has in the books, it's so hard not to write him that way - even my Lily can sometimes be a walking container of sass. And Holly's mention that Albus and Lester would probably end up publicly humiliating Louis again made me smile. Friends sticking up for friends - I think Louis is outnumbered here.

I really do need to catch up, but I want to review every chapter, and reviews for me take approximately a half-hour to write, so it might take a while. (And because I want Blue to win in BvB, I have to get my timing right and catch you.)

~Olivia

Author's Response: olivia thank you so much for this review i appreciate it a lot and im sorry for not replying earlier

their solemn promises to catch the order of the raven is excellent. who doesn't love a good bit of dramatic irony amirite?

louis gets so much public humiliation and worse in this story so rest assured he gets his just desserts. and the inter-family pranking is a really good explanation of why nobody cared about the pygmy puff prank well done

i feel like pranks that result in grievous injury cross the line from "prank" and into "assault" and i prefer to keep this story on the prank side of that line

albus is a sass-master with a razor-sharp tongue and he definitely gets a fair chunk of that from his father. friends sticking up for friends - friendship is easily the strongest theme throughout the tfwms-verse and i'm glad you appreciated that detail

thank you so much for the review!


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Review #4, by Kate 

1st February 2015:
This is fantastic! Love the idea, wonderfully carried off

Author's Response: thank you so much, glad you're enjoying it!

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Review #5, by Dumdum 

2nd January 2015:
I'm liking Scorpius xD

Author's Response: i like scorpius too. thanks for the review!

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Review #6, by kenpo 

18th December 2014:
ALKSDFJ;ALDSKJ I haven't gotten past the first paragraph, because I already need to comment on how much I love it. "In case anyone forgot he had forearms" nearly had me in tears! Plus your characterization is amazing. I already feel like I'm getting to know your characters really well, and I'm only two inches into the third chapter. I can so see why this won a Dobby. I can see this being the type of fanfic that I want to write fanfanfic about.

KDJFALSDKJ And I love Vector.

Oh my god the idea of a prank to make Rosier think he's a muggleborn.

I think I'm in love with Holly and I also think think that that's the most perfect face claim that I've ever seen in my life, because I can totally see Holly just sitting around messing with Daleks while trying to make souffles. HOLLY HELEN OSWIN OSWALD HOLYOAKE. That's what I'm calling her now and there's probably not anything you can do to stop me.

Ahhh by the end of the chapter I think I love Holly Helen Oswin Oswald Holyoake a little bit more.

Everything is perfect. Again. And I don't have much else to say. Again. I just love how these characters interact. Usually when I read, in my head I just get sort of fuzzy pictures, but with this I'm getting full scenes with movement and everything. Ahhh I just totally love this and I can't wait to keep reading but I'm also hungry so I might need a break.

-Georgia

Author's Response: georgia honestly if you ever wanted to write fanfanfic of this story you are TOTALLY WELCOME TO DO SO. BE MY GUEST

Holly is my fave. well all of them are my faves i cannot pick a fave??? but holly's one of my favourite OCs of all time and i gotta admit part of it is the faceclaim because CLARA OSWALD IS SUCH A BABE and holly would definitely be sitting around making souffles if faced with daleks tbh

i'm so happy that you're able to picture everything happening so clearly! i hope you took your break and that you continue reading & enjoying


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Review #7, by Penelope Inkwell 

19th October 2014:
Aw, the poor babies really haven't quite got their dramatic timing down yet, huh? Well, this will make it more interesting. Now it'll be all-out WAR!

Favorite Quotes:

"Louis finally managed to free himself from his curse and is now stalking through the Great Hall with the sleeves of his robes rolled up in case anyone forgot he has forearms."
--I love this. Because showing your arms is the perfect way to regain your macho-ness. Obviously.

"Holly gives him a strange look. 'Did you just say voluptuous?'
-I couldnít think of the right word,' Lester says defensively. 'So I went for a synonym.'
-'You missed.'


ďYou realise youíve just said your own name in that disparaging tone as well?Ē


Very good chapter! Your writing flows so well.

--Penny

Author's Response: thank you Penny! i love your roundups of your favourite quotes of the chapter it gives me the warm fuzzies and i really appreciate it so much

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Review #8, by BookDinosaur 

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

Right, so I'm feeling slightly kind of almost but not really but who am I kidding completely useless because I'm literally stopping myself from JulNo'ing right now because I need to review for the HC. So I'm drowning my sorrows by leaving you lots and lots of reviews. I hope you don't mind! *paranoid*

Wahh, poor Rose and yeah she is really proud and her ego is pretty big but she's smart so her ego has good reason to be big and I just feel so sorry for her right now after that prank Louis pulled. I need to harden my heart if I want to read about prank wars, don't I? xD

I love this quote: Louis finally managed to free himself from his curse and is now stalking through the Great Hall with the sleeves of his robes rolled up in case anyone forgot he has forearms. Your narration has this sort of dry wit Iíve pointed out before and felt the need to point out again because I love it so much and makes me laugh every single time.

Ahh, Vector oh no! I don't want her to ruin everything for the Order of the Raven, and now Scorpius and Rose will be double-crossing her, won't they? I was so convinced she knew when I saw she wanted to talk to Rose about the Order of the Raven, oh dear. She certainly does sound intimidating.

Also, this group really is one of bad names, isnít it? Roe Nymphadora Weasley, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, Albus Severus Potter, Lester Dante Raine and, of course, Holly Helen Holyoake. I'm laughing so hdd right now, of course all those unfortunately named must stick together. And, as short as the mention was, I got this warm fuzzy feeling inside when you mentioned how they all stuck up for each other during that awkward time they were sitting ducks for bullies. I love reading about things like that. (Also, no autocorrect, Lester is Lester, not Later *rolleyes* )

Ooooh, Holly's had an idea!! I get the feeling that these prissy Ravenclaw students have a hidden side they haven't uncovered yet and I'm so looking forward to watching them unlock there PRANKING POTENTIAL!! ...or something. Good luck doing that, Rose & the Gang!

Author's Response: emiylhmriefwde

i have no excuse for that idek

the fact that the HC coincides with JulNo is so unfortunate and the struggle is real

don't ever harden your heart emily. leave it soft and malleable and open to my characters, who i have a tendency to hurt mercilessly

we share an appreciation for dry wit and im glad you enjoyed that piece of mine

Later Dante Raine

PRANKING POTENTIAL, INDEED


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Review #9, by patronus_charm 

8th July 2014:
Ahaha, I want to be part of the Order of the Raven as it just sounds like so much fun especially the whole Pygmy Puff prank as Iím just dying from laughter at the thought of that. Professor Vector made me chuckle a lot too, and it was funny that sheís doing the your parents speech but this time about Harry and co. because before it was for Harry and co. but the Marauders were used as examples there. These guys are perfect Claws with the words they use as Iím currently in awe of their vocab and wish mine was as good as theirs. Another thing I loved was the potion lesson as Rose does have some attitude to her but in a good way. Iím actually really loving her as a character right now!

-Kiana
House Cup 2014 Review & Educational Decree #3

Author's Response: hey again Kiana!

i want to be part of the order of the raven too they're a great bunch i reckon we'd get along

rose is my baby. i love her so much and i'm glad you're loving her too

thank you for the review as per


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Review #10, by emmacweasley 

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Lissa,

Awkward. I don't know what happened to the formatting of my last review, but it certainly looks wonky, doesn't it? Anyway, onwards!

I remember, during my first read-through, being so so disappointed with the fact that they went with a dramatic reveal (not that this is a comment on your writing - the writing of it was brilliant, I especially thought it was funny how they all went around and agreed upon it. my disappointment was rather with the characters themselves.) I was holding out for something a bit more elongated, I suppose, though it was quite satisfying (though I suppose not for them) when their big reveal didn't pan out the way they expected.

I did really, really appreciate, though, the fact that when the first prank gets played on our favorites, Rose can't handle it. She said she wouldn't be able to, but we were expecting her to prove herself wrong or something, and then she went and had a panic attack, which was just great characterization on your part. Great job, lovely!

emma

Author's Response: That was both me ripping into the conventions of the genre (if "pranking empires at hogwarts" is really a genre. let's say it is) and a reflection of the characters themselves. They have built up a grandiose picture of themselves and of their Great Mission, and this is one of many down-to-earth moments for them throughout the year. Like, sorry honeybees, but people don't care as much as you think they do.

It is really important to me that Rose struggles with this - and continues to throughout the story - because there's no Quick Fix for anxiety and it would really annoy me if it was seen as character development or something to make her magically get over it. They are perfectionists, and it's really important to show the negative effects that has on their mental health because it's a HUGE burden to bear for them.


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Review #11, by newgenerationlover 

6th July 2014:
Oooo, things are starting to heat up... literally! Ha ha gotta love bad puns ;) Ok, so I know that the whole 'different cauldrons' debacle really got to Rose, but was that seriously all Louis' got? I thought he's the prank master... then again, maybe he's just getting started :P Can't wait to see what prank he does next!

Even the prank wasn't all to elaborate or amazing, I like how much it got to Rose. It just shows how much pride she puts into her work, and if something goes wrong, it is a direct blow to her pride. It also shows her social insecurities. How she wants to be viewed as perfect no matter how much that makes the other students hate her.

Another great chapter! Onward my trusty clicker! On to the next chapter!

-Mary
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: That was a terrible pun and you should be ashamed. (I kid, I kid)

Louis is not a prank master. Louis is an awful person who has an uncanny ability to pick people's weaknesses and exploit them. You'll see more of that in later chapters.

Rose is very proud and takes herself very seriously, especially when it comes to academia and her best subject. She's the first to be directly targeted for these pranks, but she won't be the last - and as I mentioned before, Louis' pranks are more cruel than funny.


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Review #12, by Veritaserum27 

22nd June 2014:
Wow. Rose is shaken up a bit in this chapter. It seems she's not quite as flame resistant as she claims to be. It's alright. I still love her. And I really love this story! I can't wait to see what happens next.

I can't believe Scorpius took 5 points away from her! I also like how each character is slowly building. They each have their own personality traits, but at the same time, it is easy to see why the are such great friends.

On to the next chapter!

Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it! Rose definitely has a few chinks in her armour, especially when it comes to academia and academic performance.

Scorpius takes his Head Boy duties very seriously. Or, at the very least, he does this early on in the term, anyway. And I love this bunch so much, their friendship absolutely warms my heart and I'm glad you're enjoying it too!


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Review #13, by The_Crookshanks_Saga 

24th May 2014:
Okay, so the first thing I noticed was the new banner, which is STUNNING by the way. It illustrates the title perfectly. And then I see the chapter image.-- Holly and Jenna, Jenna and Holly. It's perfect, really,-- I can picture Holly as Clara down on her knees, comforting Rose.

I like how you staged the dramatic reveal scene-- how Rose just waved tOotR over and asked "Dramatic reveal?". Al's response, "eternal glory", was priceless. So was Gobstones Guy's. And then Lester's "voluptuous" line-- yes. Just, yes.

The dual-toned cauldron mistake- maybe some people may find Rose's reaction a bit immature, but I find it a bit heart-breaking, really (I have this odd sense of what's sad and what's not). The way her voice cracked-- so did my heart. I feel the same way when someone gets in the way of something I pride myself in, and doesn't even take the responsibility for it (though I don't cry or leave-- kind of hard when your teachers are stiffer than Vector).

So now, you've left me wondering what Holly's plan is, she being the "seventeen-year-old genius" with the corrupted soul. Can't wait to read the next chapter, and, for advance-- Please update soon!

~Meena

Author's Response: Thank you! I'd been intending to make a new banner for a while, so I just opened up Photoshop on Friday night and had some fun with it - I'm quite pleased with the result! (And Jenna is perfect for Holly, I'm glad you agree!)

I can't imagine anyone thinking Rose's reaction immature - but then again that might be because I felt way too much for her myself in this scene - I can definitely empathise with that perfectionism and in particular her doing badly in something she usually excels at, so I'm glad it came across as sad rather than comical.

I adore Holly so much I can't even articulate it - my wee seventeen-year-old corrupted genius. Thanks for the review, and enjoy the next few chapters!


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Review #14, by maskedmuggle 

24th April 2014:
Hey!

You are absolutely awesome for writing and updating this so quickly! I really liked how realistic everything was, with Vector talking to Rose/Scorpius as prefects about the incident, and I especially loved the bit after, where Scorpius bows to her and says We're committing treason, Rosie. I just found that humorous, haha.

The moment where they revealed themselves was set up well, but I have to say I'm a little doubtful about everyone's reactions -- it seems a bit contradictory that there was a lot of intense chatter about who the Order of the Raven was in the common room and once it was revealed - nobody seemed to care. I felt like a more natural response everybody might have had was to question them (they're model students, why would they be doing this?) or even to completely not believe them and go on discussing theories about who it was :P

Once again, I loved the chemistry between all the main characters, and the witty banter/conversations! And I liked that despite how Rose and everyone are obviously excellent students, they've also got weaknesses - and I think you portrayed that really well with the prank the 'enemy' did on Rose -- seems like this'll be quite the intense prank war as both sides know exactly who to target and how :P Most of all though, I'm really excited by the ending lines (it's almost a cliffhanger of sorts although I"m cheering because I see the next chapter up already and can read on straight away) and I'm really eager to find out what Holly's idea is! Fantastic writing, and continuing on~
- Charlotte

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I am trying to keep things realistic, and I certainly think the teachers getting involved is part of that - no Head of House is going to turn a blind eye to the beginnings of a prank war (plus I just like having the juxtaposition of Rose/Scorpius as prefects and overly guilty prank masterminds, and anything that emphasises that is all good for me)

That is a good point - my main purpose behind that was to show that their dreams of eternal pranking glory are somewhat unrealistic - they all have these ideas of what hedonism and "fun" should look like, and in a very real way it's not all it's cracked up to be. That and I think speculating about jilted ex-lovers seems a lot more interesting to the assembled crowd than a (to their minds anyway) one-off prank between Weasley-Potters. But you do have a point, and thank you for bringing that to my attention!

I actually really enjoyed writing this chapter because it gave me so much insight into Rose - how she thinks, what makes her tick - and as a result I think I felt her pain entirely //too// much. But exploring those weaknesses made her feel a lot more real to me, and I hope that comes across to the reader as well.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, your reviews honestly make my day! Can't wait to see what you think of Chapter 4, and I hope you enjoy :)


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Review #15, by Anon 

22nd April 2014:
Yay you updated, and this chapter was just as great as the others!

Author's Response: Thank you, and I'm glad you're enjoying it!

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