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9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MalfoysAngel 

4th April 2017:
ohhh what does James have up his sleeves? Since he's one quarter Marauder and half Weasley, I'm hoping its a prank.

I like that James isn't celebrating too hard and is being somewhat of a responsible adult. But I do wish there wasn't so many interactions within this chapter. I was somewhat confused at the changing conversations but I'm also jumping into this chapter randomly so that may be why I'm confused too. (I'm also dealing with a head cold so that might be part of it too)

I really like what you've got going here and as soon as I have a chance like when Capture the Flag is over I'll have to come back and start from the beginning that way everything will make more sense. I'm not usually one to read quidditch stories but there seems to be an interesting family dynamic that you have going that makes me want to come back for more. I just wish I had more time on my hands to do so.

This was a really great chapter. I can't gush enough about how much I enjoyed reading it this morning. It had a lot going on but for coming into it the way I did, I was able to put the pieces together somewhat easily.

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Review #2, by adluvshp 

4th April 2017:
Here for slytherin.

Ah, the Joy of winning after a match. Especially the world cup! It has to be pretty amazing and you have described it really well. The family dynamics are on point - with Dom being pregnant and telling James the news first, or with that little detail of Albus and Scorpius. Btw, I apologise for previously referring to Jim/James as her, I meant "him" haha. But seriously, the world cup win is such a proud moment for the family and it's shown in an authentic manner, be it through Arthur or Molly or through the cousins. Your way of writing dialogue is a little confusing though, I kinda lose track of who's saying what sometimes, so maybe try breaking in the dialogue with more description of the actions or the scene? Just a little helpful CC!

Besides that, this was a very good chapter. I loved the little moment between Bri and James. And it was sweet how the dynamic between Ryan and James played out alright despite the fact that Ryan lost. My favourite bit of the chapter has to be the father-son interaction though. You really write Harry very well and I can totally see him being a grown up and a dad like this from the Harry we know. That whole "James potter's father" moment was too cute and I let out a chuckle.

I wonder what's the scene with James and Carlotta though (speaking of - yay Della and Ryan got together, he definitely needed some cheering up).

All in all, lovely chapter. Had fun reading it. Cheers

-Angie

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Review #3, by onestop_hpfan18 

6th August 2016:
So much entertaining character interaction in this chapter! Loved it! Also, yay for Ryan and Della! Now if only Freddie and Brie can get together.

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Review #4, by Penelope Inkwell 

4th May 2014:
I need to go back and make sure I left a review on that epic match, which I very much enjoyed. But for now Iíll just say how much I liked this chapter. It was a nice, sort of winding down bit, but it just made me so happy, after all that James has been through, for him to have this moment of triumph. But what I love even more is that winning is less important to him that his family being happy, and happy for him. I think itís very realistic. Sometimes something is so big, and the nerves are so vast, that win or lose, you really DO mostly feel relief, no matter how great the achievement. Itís a side of the story that doesnít get told often, but I found it very relatable.

This was so cute:
-ďDonít get your hopes up. I donít think youíre going to become ĎJames Potterís fatherí any time soon.Ē He pulled a face.

-ďA guy can dream, canít he?Ē

I suppose it just seemed very much like something Harry *would* wish--that heíd happily give over the glory to his children. I also sort of see a good bit of Harry in James, looking back. Like, the problematic relationship that James has with fame. He enjoys it sometimes, but at the same time finds it unfulfilling on its own, and often problematic, besides.

And Ryan and Della! Hooray! I always had hope for them. Now if Brie and Fred can just get things sorted...

Very sweet chapter. Warm fuzzies all around!

--Penny

Author's Response: Ah, I did like writing this chapter, although it was a bit tricky making sure it didn't just read as me ticking all the boxes. Luckily the situation meant everyone and his dog would want to talk to James. And it was also lovely to write a totally contented James, free from the pressure of Quidditch or his family or anything else like that. This is the first instance all story that he's been totally at ease with everything at the same time. :)

I do think Harry would long to be overshadowed by his kids' own successes. He never has been one for attention, has he? You're right, he and James definitely share that same view on fame. It's one of the reasons why, now their issues have been dealt with, there's such a good understanding between them.

Thanks for reviewing! :)


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Review #5, by greenphantomme 

26th April 2014:
Wow! This story is something else I have to say. The amount of work you've put in is phenomenal and it's brilliant to read. I absolutely love the characters and the Quidditch. Love it, love it, love it!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's lovely to get feedback about the Quidditch because it's a huge part of the fic and apart I struggle with at times. I'm glad to know you're enjoying it! Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #6, by a rollerball 

24th April 2014:
why are you keeping us in suspense! please update soon

Author's Response: You know me, I like leaving you all in suspense ;) Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #7, by nott theodore 

24th April 2014:
Hi! I'm glad I saw that you'd updated this and I actually have a chance to leave a review straight away this time :)

I loved the way that you wrote this chapter. With the excitement of winning the cup, they really did deserve a proper celebration afterwards and I think you captured the spirit of that perfectly. It was quite chaotic with all of the relatives and friends congratulating him, but I think that matched the mood of what was happening really well. Winning the world cup would result in some chaos!

Ah, I smiled so much to see Molly and Arthur waiting at the Hinkypunk for James so that they could congratulate him before leaving - it's exactly the sort of thing that they'd do, but really sweet and touching all the same.

I've said this before, but you always do a brilliant job of managing so many characters getting involved in one scene. I never have any problem keeping all the characters straight in my head and that's always impressive with the sheer number of Weasleys that there are!

I could sense that we're getting to the end of this story more than ever in this chapter, I think, with some resolution being given to what's happened to different characters throughout. But there are still questions about what will happen to them in the future and I'm hoping we'll be seeing more of them in the sequel!

I love the way all of James's family are genuinely so proud of him and happy for him, and their ways of showing that are so different. Getting him to drink in celebration is not necessarily the wisest move, since he's not been drinking through the tournament and he's got the Weasley family dinner at the Burrow tomorrow. I suspect he might regret downing all those drinks in the morning...

Freddie was so funny with the top-shelfer, but it was great to hear about him finally getting some direction in his life, even if his parents seem to have been the ones who made the decision. I don't think they'd have stopped him leaving but I always imagine Fred running the joke shop after his parents and I think George and Angelina just gave him what he needed. The situation with Brigid is still to be resolved though, so I'm looking forward to that!

Ah, Ryan. I loved the fact that he'd made the effort to be at the after-party and celebrate with the winners, even though he'd just suffered the disappointment of losing the world cup final. It really shows how strong their friendship is, and I liked them bonding over their mutual hatred (too strong?) for the Lynches. I couldn't help but smile when he and Della finally kissed - at least he's got something to smile about today!

Uh oh... cliffhanger alert! I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling. I think it must be something to do with the teaching job at Hogwarts and I'm really hoping that James isn't going to take the job (even though he'd be a great teacher) because I can't imagine how that would work between him and Carlotta (could she go to Hogwarts?) and I'd like to see him still playing Quidditch. So I'm hoping he's just seen someone that he can ask to take on the job... although I will probably cope if he does take it :P Unless I'm on the wrong track and James is about to find Carlotta a job or a cure or propose or something...

Sian :)

Author's Response: This chapter was a case of "ticking off all the boxes", so to speak. James needed to have conversations with certain people, so this was the way I did it. Given the situation, it works, because everyone wants to talk to him. :)

Molly and Arthur HAD to see James. I couldn't have them just go home without congratulating him. Bless them. :) I'll admit, sometimes I struggle with the Weasley family. I have them all straight in my head, but I'll still manage to forget to feature them all when I'm writing. It can be frustrating at times. It's chapters like this which allow me to make up for it somewhat!

Don't worry, the sequel will pretty much feature the same people. It's not James' story, but it doesn't stray too far from him. It's very much a continuation of a lot of these characters' storylines. I'm looking forward to it more and more!

You know, when I was writing the next chapter I think I forgot how much James actually drank in this chapter, haha. He's not at all hungover in the morning! Slight oversight on my part there I think, especially as he's been off alcohol for a good couple of months...

Ah, Freddie. He never necessarily wanted to leave the shop, but all the same he didn't want to just be a shop boy all his life. The thought of a promotion within the business hadn't occurred to him, bless! Now he has his own shop to play with. :) And of course now that's settled, he does have a lot more idea of where his life is going, and also a lot more self-confidence. Things with Brigid are resolved in the next chapter (well, resolved off-screen but revealed there).

Hatred is definitely not too strong a word to use when the Lynches are involved! ;)

Oh dear, I don't like your bad feeling. :( Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #8, by Slide 

24th April 2014:
I grinned through the touching Weasley grandparents moments, and then was ridonkulously pleased at Louis showing up and goading James to drink more. Good Louis. Keep on being an awful influence. D'aww Brigid. I love her, too.

I feel for Vic. I think I can drink like I'm twenty, too. It's still lovely to see the Weasleys turning out like this for James - of course they do, and it's great to see the family behind him but also good to have these snippets of the MAHOOSIVE family (so many Weasleys. So. Many). Yesss, drinks in the World Cup. James is going to suffer in the morning.

Good that Freddie now has a path; nowt wrong with following in the family footsteps and now it's something he's BUILDING, not just helping out. Of course his parents are canny enough to figure that out for him, but it's troubled him for a while? Ryan's still a sweetheart, too. Except for them wanting bodily pain against the Lynches. Ahh well, it's only the Lynches.

A sweet moment between Harry and James. Ahh, James, legs. You know what you like. Good lad. Honest laughter at Carla's summary of what the rest of the team are up to.

Curses, a cliffhanger! This was a very sweet chapter. I see it getting a lot of the emotional ducks in a row.

Admittedly, I have a Bad Feeling About This but we'll see what goes on from here on out. :D

Good stuff!

Author's Response: Touching Weasley grandparent moment made me all gooey inside. Love them. Louis moment made me giggle. Told you he had another moment in this chapter. :)

I think I'm destined never to even have the drinking capacity of a 20 year old, unfortunately. It's a sad fact of life that I'll have to come to terms with at some point. Many many Weasleys, including a few (Teddy included) who I realised I'd rather neglected in recent chapters. I don't even feel as though I lose track of the Weasleys and yet I STILL forget some of James' key relatives.

It was nice to finally give Freddie something to feel good about. Shop manager is perfect for him, it's just a shame George and Angelina took so long to TELL him about it!

Harry/James moment made me squee. As they all do these days. The team is absolutely bladdered, as would you be if you'd just won the World Cup. ;)

This chapter was one of those "ticking off the boxes" chapters, and I now appreciate how hard it can be to write a chapter which ties up loose ends without it feeling like a methodical "and then this happened, and then that happened" sequence. But I think it worked out in the end. CLIFFHANGER, because I love them. I dislike your bad feeling! Don't worry, you'll like what happens in the end.

I hope.

Thanks for the review! :)


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Review #9, by Court 

23rd April 2014:
It was a great celebration party and fun to see so many different characters there. I'm excited you are writing a sequel as I am very interested to see what happens with Brigid/Freddie, Lily, Maddie, etc. I have to admit at this point I'm more interested in the secondary characters that the James/Carlotta relationship so I'm hoping they get a lot of time in the sequel. It will be interesting to see how Freddie turns his life around and what that will mean for him and Brigid. Thanks for sharing.

Author's Response: It was difficult to write this chapter without it coming across as me going through and ticking all the boxes (because that's exactly what this chapter was planned to be - an exercise in tying up plot threads here and there). I'm pleased with how it turned out in the end, and also that you liked it too. :)

Ah, the sequel. Brigid and Freddie, and indeed Brigid/Freddie, will get a lot of page time, including a fair bit of emotional digging. As for Lily and Maddie, they manage to wade their way into places they're not supposed to be, so they'll definitely feature. The sequel is more of a wider project than Off the Rails - this is primarily about James, whereas Derailed's main plot will be a much bigger thing. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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