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10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Marshal/Scooterbug8515 

4th April 2017:
So much going on in this chapter - it is like unreal! The quidditch match my goodness! There was ton of action there but you did well with it. I had a feeling since the previous chapter that James was going to win the cup it was kind of one of those how could he not win the match? He's the protagonist after all.

Anyway you made a nice point with how one has to be ruthless in quidditch and forget your friends. I feel bad for James having to do that but at the same time that is how it is in games. You have to do what you must for your team. Though I feel like it should/would be an understanding between Jim and Ryan that there are no hard feelings off of this match - at least that is what good sportsmanship is all about but who knows what the next chapters contain in regards to Jim and Ryan.

Also nearly the whole Weasley clan visiting Jim before the match! That is a lot of people and while I know he loves his family I know personally I would find that exhausting to be greeted and loved by so many people just before the big match but I guess not for Jim. I will say the moment of breathing in Nana-smell was sweet and I teared a little at the mention of cheering for both grandmothers and how Lily Evans-Potter would be proud as well it as a sweet and endearing moment.

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Review #2, by adluvshp 

4th April 2017:
Here for Slytherin!

Ooh another fun chapter. I love how this started off with Jim's mum cooking - it showed a sweet family bond, little things like that. Ron making a bet with Seamus also makes sense, I can imagine him doing something like that, hehe. And ooh, Nana Molly is there too! Your portrayal of her is awesome and I loved how caring she is towards Jim. Her wanting to walk to the stadium even though she could apparate made sense and was relatable, she wanted to be with her family at this time, she needed that support and wanted to bask in their warmth. The moment brought a smile to my face.

Her nervousness and exhaustion is also realistically written. I could picture myself feeling the same way if I were in her shoes. Her disliking the fact that she had to crush Ryan's (or anyone's) dreams to win the match also spoke a lot about her character. The sentiment or message that you gave through that bit is very striking. But, at the same time, I loved the quote ""Quidditch meant being ruthless. And today, I would have to be just that."" It captures the essence of any sport really, and here it fits the scenario perfectly.

Speaking of which, the way you describe the game blow by blow is awesome. I think it's very difficult to write out a game like that and yet keep your readers engaged, but you've managed to do it. I really could envision all of the action happening. That feeling of winning in the end was beautiful and how Jim couldn't register at first but then she was holding the Cup - very well-written.

All in all, great chapter. It had brilliant pacing and energy and the details worked together very well. I was completely engrossed to know what would happen next! Great work!

cheers
angie

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Review #3, by onestop_hpfan18 

6th August 2016:
That was quite a Quidditch World Cup final. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time whilst reading, my mind envisioning the match being played like a film the whole time I read. Your Quidditch scenes are the best I've read in fanfic. I loved every bit of this chapter, especially that end where James finally was passed the Cup. It was another pivotal moment for his character that your writing did justice. Great writing! :D

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Review #4, by nott theodore 

22nd April 2014:
Hey! I finally made it!

Okay, the FEELS.

England won! I really wanted them to because I felt like James has worked so hard that he deserves it now, but I was afraid you weren't going to let it happen because you're good at plot twists :P But I've got a massive grin on my face because of that!

"I always knew I'd get to watch a Weasley play Quidditch for England one day. He beamed. - You're missing a speech mark here after day

Okay, so back to the beginning. I love Ginny's character so much, especially the way that you write her - she's still Ginny from the books but she's grown into a mother and more like Molly too. She's just brilliant.

I love the whole family turning up to James's flat to support him before the biggest match he's played in his life. And Freddie just turning up casually without having said - I feel like Ginny knew he'd come through and turn up for James, no matter what. They're so awesome as a family, even if they've all, undoubtedly, had their problems in the past. I just love the fact that they all pull through for James when he needs it most.

Ah, Ron. Betting without Hermione knowing. *nods* Yep, that sounds like him!

I almost cried when Molly said the part about his second grandparents being proud of him. It was just so sweet and such a Molly thing to say, knowing that that link was important for James and his siblings just like it was important for Harry. You've made me feel so many emotions with just this one chapter and I'm always so amazed when you can do that.

All the people came through for James in the end - it made me smile so much. Like seeing Della there even though she's got reason to root for Ryan, and the same with Brigid. It's difficult for all of them with split loyalties but I'm glad you didn't ignore that and make the way easy for them.

Your description of the stadium and the camp was amazing, I really felt like I was there. I loved the Irish and the English reactions, they're so realistic.

Could you think of anything for an English mascot? Ours would be so rubbish compared to others, for something magical :P Like a Blast Ended Skrewt or something while the Welsh have their awesome dragons :P But yeah, I liked the detail about them being banned.

As ever, I'm still impressed by the way that you write Quidditch, and writing a whole chapter that basically consisted of the final must have been quite a feat. But it was so well paced and I felt like I was there watching the whole match.

I loved the fact that the main conflict in the match was between the Bagmans and the Lynches. It felt right considering what we've already seen happen between them in previous matches. It makes sense that while most of the two teams admire and respect each other, those pairs would have been holding grudges. Also much easier to not have to remember all those names :P

And Ryan helping to pull Cato off Lynch! I was so happy that you made him do that, especially when it would have been so much easier for him to sit back and watch, especially since it would have been better for Ireland - England could have ended up with no beaters on the pitch! But it just showed the camaraderie between all the players for the same team and I loved that aspect of it. Ryan's great.

I felt so proud of James when he scored that penalty, like I was his aunty or sister or something :P I guess that just shows how brilliantly you've developed James as a character, because I feel like I know him like I real person now.

Jess is pretty awesome too. I love the fact Michael hands the trophy right to her - goodness knows how long the match would have gone on for if it hadn't been for that catch!

The fact that James felt relief before anything else seemed right - I'm sure I've read interviews with sportsmen and women who've won a major tournament and they always say the first thing they felt was relief. (Okay, that was a random ramble but hopefully you get the picture :P)

AND ENGLAND WON THE WORLD CUP YAY! I don't really know what else to say but I was really happy about that, and I can't wait to see what's in store next. I feel like there might be a plot twist coming up...

Sian :)

Author's Response: And now I'm finally here! :)

Me? Plot twist? I don't know where you get that idea from. ;) But yes, England won! In different circumstances I might have been tempted to have Ireland win, because England winning does come dangerously close to being cliched... But for James' personal story to continue as it does, he had to win the World Cup. So England won!

Ooh, thanks for letting me know about my AWOL speech mark! That must have been lopped off by accident in editing. It's back now though!

Fun fact: I was never that fond of Ginny at first. At least, it took me a long time to warm to Harry/Ginny, but then I think that's more down to how JK portrayed her (i.e. in my opinion her transition from giggly 11-year-old to the girl we were told she was in HBP wasn't really shown, but that's a topic of discussion for another time). But I think she would have inherited that maternal nature from Molly, while still remaining as cheeky as she was before. She's one of my personal favourites to write.

Ah, them Weasleys, they're so lovely when they're being all supportive-family-unit, aren't they? Ron hiding his bet from Hermione, the naughty boy. And as for Molly ... she'd definitely know that James would love more than anything to know how his other grandparents would think of him. Always looking for validation, that poor boy. This bit made me all emotional when writing it.

HA, oh, the mascots. Yeah, basically I spent hours poring over Fantastic Beasts, trying to find an English mascot, and when the best I could come up with was crups (although the thought of leprechauns riding crups around is kind of cute) I decided it was time to call it a day and get round the matter some other way. So they were banned, in the most typically-wizarding-world way I could come up with.

The Quidditch match proved to be one of the most challenging aspects of this whole fic, with the pacing in particular causing me a fair bit of aggro, so I'm really glad that you liked it, thank you! :) Ah yes, the Bagman/Lynch conflict. I didn't know how I was going to write this match until I sat down and wrote it, and as I was doing so I figured there was no way they would be nice to each other. So instead, they were as brutal as could be! It also meant I could take the focus off James and the Chasers which was nice - I didn't want some fairytale 'James won the Cup singlehandedly' result. And Jess, how awesome is she?! She was only a name in this fic until this chapter, but now I kind of want to develop her a bit more, haha.

James' reaction to winning was one of the harder parts to get right. At first, the ending was too abrupt, and so I had to tweak it a little bit. But yes, I think he'd partly feel relief at it being over, and also it would feel so surreal to him that it would take a while to sink in. Bless him. :)

Thank you so much for the lovely review! Onto the next one... :)


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Review #5, by miluv 

14th April 2014:
AHHH THEY WON THIS IS GREAT IM SO HAPPY GREAT CHAPTER ILY OMG WOW YAYAYAYAY

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #6, by a rollerball 

9th April 2014:
amazing chapter, please update soon :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)

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Review #7, by Slide 

8th April 2014:
I'm here. Let's rock and roll.

Ginny remains the best mother in the history of stuff. I love how she's stayed recognisably Ginny in this story while still, well, turning into Molly in her own way. I like to think that Freddie never confirmed one way or another about the family breakfast, just that Ginny got food on for him anyway, knowing he'd be there. Like a boss.

Oh, Ron. Never change. Never get caught by Hermione. It took me a moment to realise why Hugo wouldn't even notice the others weren't there, and then I remembered you mentioning his torrid romance with a Longbottom girl. Ha! And I love Louis. Perhaps most of all of the extended Weasley clan. Okay, that's a lie, but he's in the top five! I'm not sure I could write my own Louis now, I think yours would creep in too much as an influence.

The George and Percy box. Oh dear. That sounds like hell on wheels. At least Audrey would be there to keep the peace!

Mrph. Undignified noises in public places at Molly promising James she'll cheer for him. And aww, Albus, he's so right. This is a moment James will remember forever, one way or another, and he should at least RELISH it. Even if they lose, it'll be an experience.

Brigid! Good girl. Okay. I should be a little more coherent and probably not go through my reaction to everyone wishing James good luck but basically all the feels.

...what on Earth would the England mascots be?? I will laugh if you wrote mascots being banned because you couldn't think of it. Because I sure as hell can't think of any (magic. Bulldogs.).

Right. The match. *rolls up sleeves*

I thought it was really good. Admittedly I had to occasionally check back on my names for who was who in the Irish team, though I think that was only in confirming who was taken out by Cato's bludgers BUT I'm getting ahead of myself. You do a good job in establishing the build-up, especially by focusing on the microcosm of the situation that is Ryan and James. And then establishing the patter of the Chasers through a few set scenes before letting it carry on is fine, I didn't find that at all jarring.

I think making the Beaters exchange the main 'drama' of the match was good. The Lynches have been established in the past, we had the Bagmans' tricks against them last time they faced off; it made sense not just for them to be in the final, but for them to be the centrepoint of conflict. The only other option would have been things getting perhaps more fraught with James and Ryan, but that could have run the risk of being contrived.

And Ryan's a sweetheart, anyway, for helping stop Cato from beating the hell out of the Lynches. And Cato goes on to be a... agh, 12+. Bad Posterior. You know what I'm saying. :P Instantaneous takedown of two players at once is a nice trick (and we are of course not even sorry that Feargus broke his arm). That was the time I lost track of who was who, briefly, mind - I forgot Brianna was the Seeker and had to trawl back. I think that's the only time I lost the flow in this, and that's possibly my bad memory. Lots of names! Like I can judge!

The only change I would have suggested would have been adjusting the transition from 'game went on' to 'Seekers chase Snitch'. Perhaps some fraught Chaser-on-Chaser action (ha!) broken up by the Seekers flying straight THROUGH it to cause everyone to stop what they were doing and watching. But honestly, I'm only being so critique-ing because you were fussing over this match; I wouldn't have known you were struggling with it if you hadn't told me. It's a stonking good game and worthy of the final. If nothing else, the build-up made the atmosphere fine and the game played out well. I *like* that the match wasn't James Potter, Superstar - his most defining moments in the game are him being a great team player, working with the others and helping Cato and all that.

Way to go, Jess. That's the only time I've wanted to hop directly into someone else's POV for the story - for the match to come right down to Seeker vs Seeker and for her to win, basically winning the whole match, the whole World Cup, and she will likely be credited as The One Who Won It - that's got to be pretty amazing. Good on Michael for just handing her the cup to lift for the first time; that girl EARNED it. So, basically, I want more Jess now.

And I really like how it doesn't sink in at first! It wouldn't, by then they were very entrenched in the game just being like another game. Even if it did have the backdrop of size; my mental image really did have the background of this match being more like the Millennium Stadium, while the previous matches were more like... I don't know, Underhill Stadium. But I digress. It slowly sinking in, James getting the biggest cheer and it being PROBABLY for his name (as he did well, but it was a team effort and the players probably most deserving of individual cheers would be Jess and Cato) and still not CARING... Good boy. He's come far.

I'm not going to lie, I thought they would lose the match. I thought you were going to go all Rocky on us. But I'm PERFECTLY okay being wrong.

And Ha! at the serendipity of broken brooms.

GOOD WORK, BRO.

Author's Response: Ginny's inherited Molly's nurturing nature, that's for sure. I can't HELP but write her that way, every time. But yes, still very much Ginny. And I think Freddie definitely turned up on a whim, and Ginny just KNEW he would.

Torrid Longbottom romance indeed! I didn't want to signpost that one because it's been mentioned before, albeit briefly, so I like that you picked that up. LOUIS, oh Louis. He steals the show EVERY TIME. He's in the next chapter, and you will love him there too. I should write him into more scenes, really...

Emotional family moments galore. They filled me with much squee to write. Especially the Molly moment.

I couldn't help but laugh at your mascot comment. Because you've absolutely hit the nail on the head, I spent a whole evening trying to find a cool mascot-worthy creature from England and when the best thing I could come up with was leprechauns riding crups around the pitch (cute imagery, but not really on the same level as Veela) I decided to cop out. So yes, you too may laugh.

I was a bit worried about throwing all the Irish names in because while they've been mentioned to differing extents before, it's been a while. Of course we know the Lynches, and the Chaser play let me throw their names in (and then I realised I'd given one of the Irish Chasers the same name as James' broom, I've never hated myself more) but that still leaves the Seeker and Keeper unaccounted for. I possibly could have made that clearer, I'll check that out in a mo.

As I was writing this match I thought "It's Bagmans v Lynches, this is NOT going to be a clean game". Like you say, it wouldn't have made sense, with all the bad blood between them. And it meant avoiding pitting James and Ryan against each other EVEN MORE, which I obviously didn't want to do, because that would just break my heart. Bad Posterior. I like. I worried for a moment about why you were calling Cato a 12+, THEN I REALISED. Not an insult but a compliment. And I breathed easy once more.

Ugh, I both like and hate that you've mentioned that transition, because that was the one I felt most uneasy about. In fact, that was my main concern about the whole match - that it was too clunky, and didn't quite flow. Cheers for the advice on that one, again I'll see if I can tweak it. But it's a massive relief to know the match was Final-worthy, because it was the most ridiculous pressure knowing people were so excited for this point and expected GOOD.

I admire your stadium metaphor.

I may well have had England lose the match - because let's face it, that's the biggest cliche I could have written and I hate doing that - but James HAD to win the Cup for him to do what he does next, so it would have totally ruined my future plans had he lost. He's NOT the superstar player though, because that really would have been horrendously cliched. That's why he got Player of the Match in the semi-final; I wanted him to shine, but it couldn't be in the Final.

GOOD REVIEW BRO.


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Review #8, by JT4HP 

6th April 2014:
IT. WAS. PERFECT.

Such a great match. Such great writing. I love Jimmy.

You rock.

Author's Response: Thank you! I struggled to write this match, so it's reassuring to know you enjoyed it! I love Jimmy too. :) Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #9, by Your FAN 

6th April 2014:
An Amazing Game from an amazing writer!!!

Author's Response: Thanks! I struggled writing this match so it's good to know it was enjoyed! Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #10, by chocolateteacups 

6th April 2014:
WELL THERE WE GO :D
That, as usual, was spectacular - but this chapter brought it to whole new levels. The way you described the game, the relationships and all the feelings going on - it's a lot to juggle in one chapter but you managed it flawlessly.
And I'm so happy! James won! (Technically, all of England won, but whatever). Urgh it was so good.
And Nana Molly - I almost cried with what she said, that was so sweet, and I do love how you've placed importance on James and Lily (I) throughout the story.
Also, I have loved how throughout this story you have described the flow of the quidditch games - your writing has got bigger and better as the games have, it blows my mind.
This chapter lived up to all expectations and then also blew my mind, just urgh. It was amazing!

Author's Response: There we go indeed! :) I won't lie, this chapter was a total nightmare to write. I really liked writing in all the family members, it always makes me warm and fuzzy inside when I get to write the Weasley fam. Especially Nana Molly, bless her. :) But the match itself was really tough to write, so a huge thank you for your kind words, it's lovely to know I managed to pull it off in the end. Thank you for the lovely review! :)

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