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12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Gabriella Hunter 

24th September 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie again stopping by for the second part of our little swap. I really hope that I'll be able to read a good chunk of this before I move and get really busy with grown up stuff. :D

I am really considering banishing The Bunny to the abyss. That thing is really starting to freak me out but what I like about this first half is that we get to know Scorpius a bit more and I really adore his characterization. I feel like you have him balanced out well, he's not this brooding monster that can't smile to save his life and instead, he feels absolutely no guilt Stunning a menacing demon-bunny (That apparently has friggin' armor for fur, don't think I didn't notice that). I was laughing through that whole thing because I was mostly siding with Scorpius, that bunny was weird as heck and why was it so darn angry and intent on eating his ankles? That's what's making me wonder about them, I don't think that they're normal. THe fact that he had to actually knock it out (I'll admit that I laughed) was just a little weird for me BUT his attempt to give it to Albus was rebuffed! I was so happy but then he decided to give it to Rose! NO! Agh, I know that that is going to turn out not so swell later on but let's talk about the fact that Wren is completely obsessed with HER bunny. That thing has some kind of creepy hold on her and I just want to shoo it back to Mordor where it belongs. I hope Rose nad hte other girls pay closer attention to her moods, I'm sure that they're going to go downhill, she already had a brief attack when she realized the Bunny was gone. Hm...I wonder if it's sucking the soul of out someone?

Now, this second part! Ah, it's so sad to see Augusta like this you know but I think that you write that whole scene so wonderfully. It feels very authentic and I can tell that you're writing this from the heart (No pun intended) so I especially love the interactions between Hannah and Augusta. Now, I am kind of leery of this mystery man that showed up just at the right time. He's giving me the creeps and I'd love to know more about him, I'm sure that you're going to go into more detail about that later on though.

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie!


Grownup stuff tends to get in the way of a lot of things. I completely understand.

I'm a little sorry that Bunny is freaking you out, but also more than pleased that you're getting the appropriate vibes from him. So I guess it's a double edged sword, right? LOL! I'm glad Scorpius made you laugh. He made me laugh when I was writing him. He's such a fun character, even when he's trying to be serious, which he doesn't often get to, but occasionally, he'll be capable of getting down to business.

I had hoped that Rose would pay more attention too. She's a bit caught up in her own stuff too, so we'll see how that plays out.

Yeah, some grown up stuff crept right into the story with Hannah and Augusta. It's not all about the kids. I wanted to give a serious vibe without bashing people in the face with things. I hope it came out okay.

Thanks for another lovely review! Hopefully we can do a swap again when we get a break from all this grown up stuff!

Pix


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Review #2, by moonbaby11 

7th September 2015:
Hi! I'm here with a (rather delayed and I apologize) requested review!

You continue to keep things mysterious while not being too vague and I like it -- you strike a really nice balance and I think that's important for the reader. I feel like my mind is just filling with more and more questions and none of them have been answered yet but I almost don't mind. The whole mysterious air of Dillon, the rabbits, and now Smeed continue to draw me into this story and keep me involved. I think you're doing really well with keeping the plot interesting but also a secret. Like I said before, it's a good balance.

I like the way that, although your story is about teenagers and features some romance, the whole plot isn't based around Wren/Albus. I like how you've told us that they're both interested in each other because I feel like that takes even more of the focus off of potential romance and places it on the plot (and the rabbits!) instead. I, myself, am guilty of basing plots only around romance so I adore what you're doing here.

These rabbits are seriously freaky -- they can evade stunning spells and they seem to tether themselves onto their owner's emotions (and Dillon seems to be tethered to them as well?). I really feel for Wren and her worries that she's losing her mind. I like that you've tied that into the backstory of her grandparents because I think that makes her worries that much more powerful, you know?

I was really pleased to see some of Augusta come out in this chapter again. I think her situation is truly heartbreaking, even moreso now that we know she understands exactly what's happening to her. This chapter had a lot of heartbreaking moments and I think you executed them wonderfully.

I'm excited that everyone's back at Hogwarts now because that means new locations to explore and new characters and relationships to discover! I'm sure you won't disappoint.

I sincerely hope this review was, in some way, helpful. I don't even know if this was constructive at all or if it was just me squeeing over this story? Anyways, always feel free to drop by again for more reviews!

Author's Response:

Hi!

I'm glad you feel that way about the mystery. I do have a problem with clarity at times. Sometimes I write TOO vague, so it's nice to hear that things seem balanced so far.

I wasn't sure how this would play out if I let the romance just "be" in the story. But now that it's done, I think it turned out okay. I wanted the focus on the plot directly, so it's nice that you think that plays well. Thanks!

Wren's worries had to be tied into things that we can believe, or else it would just look like she's having a neurotic breakdown over nothing, which isn't what I was going for. I needed to make it real and personal and also plausible for her to possibly have a real issue that masks what the rabbits are doing. Yeah, they are kind of freaky, aren't they? :P

Augusta is a very strong woman. She'd be aware of things until it just isn't possible any longer. I wanted to show that she still had her inner strength, even though her circumstances were against her.

Thanks so much for giving me your thoughts. Your comments let me know that the things I wanted to come through got noticed. I really appreciate your review!

Pix


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Review #3, by TreacleTart 

28th July 2015:
Hey Pix!

I'm here for our review swap!

Geez. Never did I think bunnies would seem so ominous. First one attacks Scorpius and manages to withstand a stunning charm. Then Wren's bunny starts glowing and disappears, which seems to cause her to go mental. I have a feeling that there's something very sinister at play here. I knew that little boy was super creepy.

Speaking of Wren's attachment to her bunny, it seems to have passed normal behavior. I mean I know it's cute and fluffy and what not, but she seems almost borderline obsessed with it. I have to wonder if the little boy had put some sort of spell on them. Very curious.

I was so pleased to see Augusta regain some lucidity. It's so sad to think of such a strong woman declining into dementia. I'm not surprised that she's recovering though. She seems like she's the type that's so stubborn she'll just will herself to get better.

Ooh. And now a mysterious stranger named Smeed shows up. That name alone screams evil to me. It sort of makes me think of Smeagol from LOTR. Now, I have a hunch that this tall stranger might actually be the little, creepy boy in disguise. I don't know why and perhaps I'm being paranoid, but either it's him or they're somehow working together. I guess I'll have to read on to find out.

Anyway, I know you wanted a bit of feedback on the story as a whole, so let me give you a bit of an overall on what I've read so far. I think you've got a really interesting plot and your main characters seem very well thought out and developed. I liked Wren immediately. Some of the secondary characters like Callie and Trudie fall a little flat for me at this point, but I think it's just that I'm only seeing little snippets of them at a time. Perhaps as the story progresses I'll get a better feel for who they are. As always, your writing is very smooth and easy to follow. For example, this chapter is almost 6,000 words, but it doesn't feel like it. It feels easy and enjoyable to read.

Good job Pix! I'll be back to read more as soon as I can.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response:

Hi Kaitlin! How's the review-a-thon going?

You are correct to suspect that things are not well with Wren and her rabbit. Things are actually spinning out of control over the next few chapters. I can't wait!

I agree with you. Augusta seems like the kind of person who can will just about anything into being. Go Gran!

Ah, haha! If you like the name "Smeed", just wait until you meet his friend. :P

Callie and Trudy don't have huge parts in the story, but they do get more screen time later. Hopefully it will be enough to flesh them out for you. You'll have to let me know later if that is enough. I'm glad things are still smooth and you're not bogged down by the words.

Thanks for stopping by!

Pix


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Review #4, by Roisin 

21st July 2015:
Yay Scorpius POV!

It could have been really easy to make Scorpius antogonistic towards James to play for laughs, so I like the idea that he respects him here. And then also sorta antagonizes him. Like, way to get the best of both worlds!

AH GROWLING BUNNY. How am I not surprised that Scorpius would be the one to see the evil little creature for what it truly is. Maybe because he isn't seduced by bunny cuteness? And I think the bunny biting a person has something to do with it getting to them, so the bit with Scorpius vs Bunny was really suspenseful (yet slightly ridiculous and funny too). Also, AH THEY ARE HEX RESISTANT THAT MAKES EVERYTHING SO MUCH WORSE.

Oh no. Bunny doesn't respond well to magic, resulting in Wren not responding well to magic? This is gonna work out great, considering she goes to goddamn MAGIC SCHOOL.

Oh man, the hectic scene in the bar was so stressful and intense. It was all really well thought out and convincing and fantastic, and I love the strange sort of gothic atmosphere this whole story has. Even without things fitting together yet, everything still maintains such an interesting tone. Smeed is definitely a curious character and I can't wait to see where everything goes!

xoxo
Roisin

Author's Response:

I love your reviews. Seriously. These are great little masterpieces.

How could I deny Scorpius the best of anything?? I can't. That's why he has it all. :P

I think you're one of the few people who picked up on the importance of the rabbits being hex resistant and the implications that holds. Most people are just freaked out by Wren's loss of magic, which is also awful and scary and not right.

I'm so glad you saw good things about the bar scene. If I was going to rewrite this story, it would be all about Smeed and his world. But alas, I have already spent too much of my time on this, so I'll have to let it be what it is. And oh, you think this has a gothic atmosphere? That's awesome! I haven't thought of it in that way, but I can see it now that you mention it.

So much love!

Pix


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Review #5, by The Basilisk 

8th January 2015:
Hola! :)

Aw, I felt sorry for the fat rabbit even though it was vicious! The scene with Scorpius was quite funny, I love his characterization here in how he's an obnoxious kid and a bit of a prince. It fits his upbringing really well, he reminds me a bit of Draco but not as much of a jerk. Hehe, I loved how his instinct was to bring the rabbit to Rose. Them being friendly enemies is a lot of fun in this story.

The scary thing about the rabbit curse is that it really seems to isolate her from her friends and cut her off from those who care about her. I think I said in a previous review how the rabbit is quite possessive of Wren and it really takes over her focus, which seems a little shady.

It was great seeing the relationships between the roomies and learning more about Wren's everyday life at Hogwarts! I always find those details so interesting in stories.

So Augusta knows what's going on and had a lucid moment! Hmm, her talking about her condition as an "it" and saying that it's her fault makes me think that perhaps it's some sort of family curse, possibly involving the rabbits and maybe the bungalow.

I liked the concentration on money and how stressed out Hannah is, and she's definitely a good tavern owner and a really nice boss to Nellie! Having worked in the service industry I found that whole scene very relatable. Smeed is very creepy however, particularly with his not eating very much. Perhaps he's another sort of vampire or ghost, or related to Dillon in another way?

Such a great chapter! The plot and pace in this story is so natural. It's a real pleasure to read!

Author's Response: Oh no, don't feel sorry for the fat rabbit! Lol. Actually, it's good that you have empathy for all the characters in the story, even the fat rabbits.

I love writing Scorpius in this story. I don't know what happened during character development to make him so much fun, but I'm going to roll with it. You're right, my stony-gazed friend, he's not as much of a jerk, but he still has that upbringing to color him.

Yes, the isolation is a big deal. It was difficult to balance Wren's character with the oppressive bunny stuff going on. I'm still not sure I got it the way I had imagined.

I like to think of Augusta as a very astute woman. If she has moments of clarity, I want her to understand what's happening, and be able to communicate that somehow.

Oh, I'm glad that the scene with Hannah is relatable. You have really interesting guesses. I hope you come back to see if you are correct!

It is a pleasure responding to these reviews! Thank you so much!


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Review #6, by adluvshp 

20th April 2014:
Hello there =) I am here for the TGS review exchange!

I loved this chapter. It had a lot going on and the wheels in my mind were constantly turning xD Wren's rabbit is making me more and more anxious as I read on. I wonder why he was glowing and how and where he disappeared! And what's more, Scorpius has the other rabbit now which Al was supposed to have - ah things are getting rabbity! xP

I also liked the ending segment of Hannah's POV. It was interesting that Gran was actually responding. The Smeed guy seems somewhat suspicious to me. His presence must have some relevancy and it feels like it may not be in a good way. I am very intrigued to know what happens next!

All in all, I think this was another great chapter. Great descriptions, engaging dialogue, interesting plot, and smooth flow as always. I enjoyed reading it and I hope to come back for more soon =)

Good going!
--AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response:
Hey!!

I'm glad we got paired up this month! I should be over to your story shortly to see what you've been up to since the last time I peeked in on it!

Yes, absolutely things are getting rabbity! LOL! I'm glad you enjoyed Hannah's POV. I wanted to give her a place in the story, along with all the other characters. Smeed is relevant, but I can't say much more than that.

So glad you had a good time with this chapter! Thanks for the lovely review!!

-Pix


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Review #7, by UnluckyStar57 

13th April 2014:
Hello! You didn't think I'd forgotten about you, did you?! No, things have been busy lately, but I'm back for more!! I can never resist the rabbits!

Speaking of which, ANOTHER rabbit has appeared! That's pretty scary, especially since this one is for Albus. It was horrifying when Scorpius Stunned it and it didn't stay down. I'm glad that Albus couldn't take it because he had Prefect duty. But what now? Will Scorpius become attached to it? This bunny doesn't seem like the deceptively cuddly one that Wren has--it's much feistier and meaner. Whatever happens, it does not bode well for the gang!

Oh, Wren. Constant contact with that darn rabbit and what do you get? A case of social anxiety and extreme weirdness. Why is the bunny so against the use of magic? Will Wren stop doing magic because the bunny hates it? Worse still, will the bunny DRAIN her powers from her?! Oh no!!

The photography gig sounds awesome. Wren has a talent and she should enjoy doing it. If she weren't looking after an evil bunny rabbit from Mars, I'm sure that she would.

It was nice getting some background on Hannah and the Leaky Cauldron. The idea of an Extension Charm on the room is really good, especially if there are a bunch of big, drunk people around. Hannah is totally awesome--she handled the crowd really well. Nellie should learn, but I can't blame her for wanting to get out as fast as possible! And Smeed seems okay for right now. He probably will play a larger role later on, but I hope that he's a good guy. The rabbits are villains enough for me!!

What's next? More rabbits? More times when Wren forgets what she's been doing for the past twelve hours? Will Albus turn into a giant rabbit? I can't believe you've already got fifteen chapters on this story--congratulations! I can't wait to read them!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: It's YOU! I've missed you! *hugs*

Yes, now there are two. What do you get when you have two rabbits? I'll let you ponder that for a little while...

Oh no! Horrible, magic-draining, evil rabbit!

Yes, Wren loves her camera. She'll keep loving it. I promise.

I'm glad you think Hannah is awesome. Someone's gotta be competent. Might as well be the adults in the story. :P Smeed's cool. Just like his name. Smed... Makes me smile.

Yes. You are absolutely right. Bunny's sucking Wren's powers, and Albus will turn into a rabbit. Just in time for EASTER!!! What great timing!

Just kidding.

Thanks for another fabulous review! I hope to see you around again sometime.

Pix


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Review #8, by MargaretLane 

10th April 2014:
Hmm, that comment about "it's not done with me yet" is a little weird. I REALLY think Augusta has been experiencing something similar to Wren and that that was why she circled those words in the book.

I'm wondering if there's some connection between the rabbit being gone and Augusta beginning to improve. But she was ill before the rabbit arrived so I don't see how there can be. I'm confused. That's probably how I'm meant to be though and it probably means the revelation to this isn't something too obvious.

Hmm, I'm also suspicious of Smeed, though I'm not sure why.

Author's Response:
I really hope that the revelation won't be obvious. Otherwise, I will have failed. Ahh!! The pressure!

On the other hand, I hope you won't be disappointed either. Ahhh! The pressure!!!

Heheh. Anyway, there should be more answers in the next few chapters. I can't keep up the smoke and mirrors for too long, or it will end up frustrating people too much.

Smeed... he's fun.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts about what you think might be going on. This is great fun!


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Review #9, by TidalDragon 

29th March 2014:
Hello again!

So Augusta is (maybe) coming back, complete with cryptic statements as well. And now there's another shady character entering the mix with this Smeed guy. Mysteries are just abounding, though the biggest one remains what the deal is with these rabbits and how exactly they work.

I am interested to see where all these storylines go from here. I do think we are possibly reaching a critical mass with the mysteries before some connections start to be made or some aspects of them start to be resolved. It's all enjoyable to think on and speculate, but too many moving pieces can be a lot to handle.

I don't think you're losing track of the people who SEEM to the be key characters in the story despite all the mysteries, at least not at this point, which is a good thing. Still, there are some who are still being introduced and some who may actually be important like Scorpius, Rose, and James (II), who seem like they are perhaps not getting terribly developed in service of developing the deepening mystery. Time will tell I suppose and at about halfway through what you have so far I am interested to see if answers start emerging soon.

Author's Response:
Augusta definitely will not remain stagnant. There's plans for her, though not so dramatic as some would hope. But I'm not going to allow her to sit around in that chair and stare out the window all story... how boring!

Here's where I was questioning the complexity of the story mechanics again. You can feel that there's just so much going on and no one understands it. Hopefully I handled it well in the next few chapters. Critical mass, indeed!


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Review #10, by GingeredTea 

14th February 2014:
This was a really great addition to your story. Wren seemed more smoothly written than every before and your descriptions were on-target. Dialogue was great.

The rabbit. Creepy. Like the kid. You really have me interested. Was this the sort of thing glowing outside her old house? Is the rabbit being summoned?

The last scene with Augusta was heart-wrenching and warming all at once.

I'm a bit leery of this new employee... does he have something to do with the rabbits and the boy? What came of Albus' rabbit? And the fact that it spells don't work on it...ugh you really have me hooked!

Thank you for such a fantastic read!

Author's Response:
The glowing thing should be addressed coming up, and sadly, it's not a Norwegian conspiracy. I hope you're not too disappointed.

Augusta has her own small arc in this story. I felt like after all she did in the books that she needed some attention.

And yes, you should be leery of the new employee. If only because he's wearing a trench coat. :) Good question: where DID Albus' rabbit go off to??

I'm glad you're enjoying my quirky story and that I have stuff in there that keeps you interested! Thanks so much for coming back for another chapter!


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Review #11, by maraudertimes 

11th February 2014:
Hi!

Predictions: the bunny is evil and so is Dillon, and the only reason that the bunny escaped was because Wren wasn't devoting all her attention to it and was instead trying to live her normal life, but the stupid bunny is freaked out because of magic, but it's at Hogwarts, so Wren should just give it up or something, because it's evil and crazy and so is the one that attacked Scorpius.

Why did it attack him, anyways? Because it's supposed to be Albus's? I liked how Scorpius dealt with it, even though it's not nice to do that to anyone - human or animal. But the bunny is evil, so I'll forgive him. I might even cheer for him. Because the bunny is EVIL!

Oh goodness, why isn't Wren happy about the photo taking opportunity? Because of the evil bunny!!! Anyways, I'm really sad to see Wren so enraptured with her pet, especially because it's causing a strain on her friendships. Although I am warming up to Trudy. She's a feisty one.

Ergh! Hannah is such a good person and her situation just breaks my heart! It was sad to see that Augusta knows what's happening to her, but beautifully heartbreaking to see that she wants to make it easier for her and everyone else by taking the potion.

I'm slightly wary of Smeed, but he seems nice. I still reserve suspicion about him, but hopefully he can give Hannah a break from running the inn from time to time, and he does seem to provide a calming effect on the patrons of the inn.

This was a great chapter (other than the evil bunnies), and I'm really excited for the next, so you'll update soon, right? Thought so! Amazing job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Yay! Predictions!

I love predictions! Even if they're about evil rabbits and little boys. Why is everyone picking on the little boy?? *innocent blink*

That scene with Scorpius was very fun to write. I got to get rid of some of my rabbit frustrations, along with Scorp right there. So satisfying.

Oh, Trudy! You're the first to mention her. I'm so glad I listened to my lovely beta who told me to give her a bigger personality! Betas are awesome, aren't they!

Smeed. He's a serious guy. But his name cracks me up. I can't help it. He told me his name was Smeed, and well... I can't change it now, can I?

I didn't think so. *smirk*

Thanks for another great review!


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Review #12, by CambAngst 

9th February 2014:
pix! You are cranking out these chapters with reckless abandon lately. Well, not too reckless. I still couldn't find a single typo in this chapter. Darn it, I'll have to look harder. :p

You brought Scorpius along fairly well in this chapter, giving us more of an idea of his personality. He's definitely a bit poncey, worrying so much about the scuff on his boots. But he's also unafraid to tackle problems head-on, like attacks by killer rabbits. He pretty much put Albus's bunny in its place.

And speaking of rabbits, it seems that they're also spell-resistant. In fact the rabbits don't seem to like magic much at all. I'll file that away in my collection of useful rabbit information for further consideration...

Albus is quite the conscientious sixth-year prefect. Aside from stuffing his face, he won't even pause to consider James's present, leaving his best mate to deal with it.

Let's see, what else from the train? The idea of the Head Boy grumping about, followed by his crew of prefect muscle, made me think of Christmas Vacation for some reason. Specifically the scene where Clark Griswold's boss is storming around the office, followed by his cadre of yes-men and sycophants. Yes, I do get the strangest mental images when I read...

I really, really don't like the way this rabbit is affecting Wren. It's like the demonic little fuzzball is projecting all of its feelings into her, especially its fears and anxieties. Like I said earlier, the rabbits definitely do not appear to like magic. When all of Wren's roommates are organizing their stuff, it sets the rabbit off. Poor Wren can't even pin her near-anxiety attack cleanly on the rabbit's reaction either, because of Rose volunteering her to be team photographer -- pardon me, league photographer -- for Quidditch. You're quite the sneaky author, you know that? Always giving Wren another possible trigger for her panicky feelings so that she can't easily see the truth.

OK, I know this is probably the farthest thing from what you had in mind, but I was just thinking about the glow in the rabbit hutch and the glowing light that Wren was seeing in the forest by the bungalow back at the start of the story. The demon bunnies have Star Trek transporters, don't they? They telepathically say, "Beam me up, Dillon!" and then they glow and dematerialize. At any rate, I'm quite worried about where Wren's bunny will pop up next.

The last scene had a lot of mixed feelings for me. It was wonderful -- I daresay amazing -- to see Augusta come back to herself for at least a little while. Maybe a part of her healing process, if there will ever be such a thing, is realizing what's happening to her and taking some responsibility for helping to head off her own episodes. At any rate, I really liked her moment of clarity.

Poor Hannah is having a terrible time running the inn by herself. Nellie did seem a bit flighty when she appeared earlier in the story and it's confirmed here. And then her salvation appears out of nowhere, wearing a long, black trench coat. Does it make me a shamefully obvious child of the 80's that I have a good reason why creepy guys in trench coats make me suspect that something bad is going to happen? It wasn't that Hannah was doing a terrible job of running things, but Smeed's appearance was quite the beneficial coincidence. And that name. I mean, "Smeed"? How can he not be nefarious with a name like that?

Very good chapter! I enjoyed it immensely! Until next time...

Author's Response: Ah, hi!

I have not abandoned my chapters! How dare you insinuate... oh, that. I guess it does sort of appear like I'm pulling them out of a hat faster than rabbits. It's all that writing-without-posting that I did last year. *plans ahead*

Poncey Scorpius! He's a blast. His language might not be upper crust, but his love of fashion is definitely upscale. He's not going to allow some overgrown rodent to get in the way of a good shine.

Wren's got all her issues in play here, yep she does. Otherwise, she'd have been thrilled to be a team photographer... maybe not for ALL the teams at once. It's a bit of pressure that she doesn't feel ready for. But think of the profits, Wren! Hopefully, Rose won't want a cut.

You know, if I was doing a sci-fi crossover, you'd be right on target with your guessing. But I'm not. So that means no Star Trek transporters. Good try! Hehe!

Augusta isn't completely unaware of the things around her. I'm glad you appreciated her moment! I thought she needed one. :)

When Smeed told me what his name was, I laughed so hard. Then I wrote it down, and it just couldn't be changed to anything else. Like all mysterious 80's trench coat characters, he doesn't have a first name. Because that would break the cliche' mold. And also disrupt his creepy, mysterious vibe.

Thanks so much for an entertaining review!



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