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28 Reviews Found

Review #1, by 800 words of heaven 

3rd April 2017:

Hey, Pix! It has been a ridiculously long time since I read chapter one of this story, but I remember that you blitzed through Like a House on Fire for me, and Iíve always wanted to return the favour. This seemed like a good excuse.

I am immediately struck by how sweet Wren is. She makes my heart ache with just how much she cares for her great-grandmother. What a sweetheart. Theyíre both trying to adjust to this massive change, but Wren understands that itís much more difficult for Augusta than it is for herself, which shows a lot of emotional maturity.

Ah, so thatís whatís going on with Augusta! It is actually horrible, but I remember feeling a little confused and very curious as to what was ailing the strong old woman. ďDiseasesĒ of the heart are the hardest to fix, even with magic, I think. Wren is starting to understand that better than most.

Oh, gosh! Iím really feeling for the Longbottom family! I think Wren is handling this marvellously so far, considering how young she is. This young woman will go far, I can tell.

Your description is always on point. I donít know how you do it Ė itís like magic to me. London felt so busy and confusing, mirroring the way Wren is feeling so well. Sheís gone out onto the streets to lose herself, almost.

Well, isnít Dillon creepy. Also, his mother is strange, too, telling this little boy to go find his magic ďon his ownĒ. That doesnít sound like a very pleasant experience for anyone. I have a bad feeling about thisÖ


This kid gets weirder and weirder. Consider me intrigued. I thought this story was going in one direction, but it is clearly not. I cannot wait!

Author's Response: Hi!!

I'm glad you came back to the story, and I hope you get to read through the whole thing, now that it's finished. It really was a fun thing to write. Of course I say that now, feeling my betas looking over my shoulder and shaking their heads at me. I tend to get insecure during editing... anyway...

The Longbottoms have some bad turns here at the start of the story. There's a lot that Wren has to deal with, and it doesn't really matter how old she is. It's hard for anyone to deal with, but that's life, hey?

Aw, thanks for the kudos on description. I try. :) Dillon IS a creepy thing. By design. I'm pleased that you felt that.

Thanks for the words!


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Review #2, by Marshal 

2nd April 2017:
So heart breaking! The part with Gran, my goodness seeing such a strong woman fall apart is so heart wrenching. I think it gets to me more as I have a family member who is loosing it mentally as well so I can relate and what you have here is realistic. I like the touch of wandless magic with pillows though. It makes sense that a older witch or wizard who is loosing it would possibly do accidental magic as it were.

I feel so much for Gran and her loss and all the more for Wren who is dealing with so much turmoil. That said I really like Wren as a character she is unique having her own style and flair that isn't a carbon copy of something I've seen before or of her parents. Kudos on making her original and yet having a flair that says yes she is Neville and Hannah's daughter.

Then the bit with Dillon, I can't help but wonder if he is a squib maybe - he's an interesting character and so sweet and innocent. It will be interesting to see what becomes of him in the coming chapters. Also Bunnies! I love bunny rabbits and seeing them featured in the fic is awesome, of course it makes sense considering the title of the fic but honestly you are weaving a nice story here and I look forward to seeing more!

Author's Response: Hi Marshal!

Welcome to my crazy story. I know you're blitz reviewing, but I appreciate all of your words, and I love it when people read my story! I mean, who doesn't? Right?

I figured that to get someone like Augusta in a bad place, it'd have to be something quite serious. She's old, which means there's a lot of weight on her, and things tend to pile up on people when they're faced with years and years of "stuff".

Wren was a character that required a bit of wrangling, but then when I got her, she was fully there, if you know what I mean. Thanks for the compliments on her individualistic style. Wren and I thank you!

Dillon was supposed to be this creepy enigma through the first half of the story, and then do a BAM somewhere in the middle. Hopefully I pulled this off for you. Thanks so much for reading!


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Review #3, by Liana 

30th September 2015:
Now there are two mysteries. What happened to the first bunny and who is the strange little boy with the basket of rabbits. I'm not sure if I'd be happier in the country or in Diagon Alley. You'd think a teenager would like living on Diagon Alley. It's hard to see Augusta Longbottom in such a poor state. She was so strong.

Author's Response:

Yes, I'd think I'd be happy living in Dragon Alley too, but Wren misses her home so much and August a makes things even harder on her. She's got a lot to deal with right now.

I hated putting Augusta in such a state too.

Wow, thanks for the reviews! You made my night!


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Review #4, by BellaLestrange87 

6th September 2015:
Review tag!

The opening bit made me sad. Throughout the series we've heard bits of pieces about Augusta and her personality, which led me to think that she's a strong character. Seeing her like this, hallucinating and believing that Wren, her great-grand-daughter, was her son Frank was a bit depressing, I must admit. I really want her to get better. From what I've heard about this story, it would be nice for Wren to not have to worry about her grandmother (so she can focus all her attention on rabbits!)

I wonder what Neville's doing that's keeping him out until 10, 11 o'clock at night? Would preparing for a new school year keep him out that late?

I can sympathize with Wren about meeting up with friends. This whole summer was day after day of that. I wonder what's in that basket the boy's carrying?

That's really weird that the boy would disappear when Wren tried to lead him to the policemen. Even if he was a wizard, surely the policeman would be able to give him directions? I'm suspicious.

I'm wondering if Dillon's a squib. He said that his mother had magic, but didn't mention any magical abilities of his own, and then said that she sent him away until he finds his own magic. This sounds like something a pure-blood family like the Blacks would do.

Dillon definitely sounds like a squib. He's so enthusiastic about the prospect of Hogwarts (which probably won't be happening for him) and then his disappointment at finding out he needs a letter to get on the Hogwarts Express was sad.

So that's how Wren's rabbit problem starts. I think it's a bad sign that the rabbit bit her almost immediately.

I really enjoyed this chapter, and I'll be back for more at some point!


Author's Response:


Wren's focus isn't what it should be, you're right. But that's part of the story. She worries a lot.

Yes, Neville has a lot to work on these days. Preparing for a school year often is harder than it seems to be.

People often wonder about the squib-ness of Dillon at this point in the story. He's his own special little boy. But don't let that stop you from reading on. He really is a sad, little thing, isn't he?

Don't worry. There's a lot more rabbit action to come. I can't think of a chapter where there isn't a rabbit. Maybe I took a rabbit break in one or two of these chapters, but I can't clearly recall at this moment. I hope you like little furry surprises. :)

Thanks so much for the review! I hope you get a chance to read more.


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Review #5, by KJ Cartmell 

30th August 2015:
Interesting start, Pix! I very much like Wren - her photography hobby, her love interest, her concern for animals. The mysterious Dillon was a good addition, to deepen the mystery.

My personal intuition was that Neville was gay. I have a scene planned for him in an upcoming novel. I'm really looking forward to it, but it won't be for a while. It's strange to see him married to someone named Hannah. The Hufflepuff, Hannah Abbott, perhaps?

Author's Response:

Hi! What a wonderful surprise!

I wanted Wren to be relatable in that every-man way, without the drama of being an orphan or having a debilitating deformity of some kind. I'm glad you find her likable. I like her too. Dillon, well, he's his own thing.

I can't remember the source material for it, one of JKR's book tour chats I think, she told the public that sometime after the war, he married Hannah Abbott and they live over the Leaky Cauldron Inn, which she runs. While reading the series, I had always wondered if he'd ever get together with Luna, and that was before the movies. Either way, it was fun to dream up a quirky, nature-loving child for him.

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Review #6, by Frankie05 

8th August 2015:
Hey Pix.

This chapter was heartbreaking and strange. Following Wren through an afternoon with Gran is heartbreaking. It's like Wren is just waiting for her to die, and Gran isn't making it any easier with her minor(or major) freak outs and her mixing up things. It breaks my heart and I don't think Wren should have to be the one to take care of her. But that's just my opinion.

I hate that Wren feels so alone, like Rose can't help her or connect with her (what Wren feels). It's so sad.

And then Wren needs to get away, from the house from her thoughts and then I get suspicious. That little boy is freaky. I don't know if that's how you intended to write him but he gave me the creeps. Why is he all alone? What does he want? Where are his parents? Is his mother abusive? Why can't adults help him? These are all the questions I asked myself because I don't trust the little kid. I think the kid aspect is to give a false sense of security. I'm not entirely sure what to expect but I have a strange feeling in my stomach about the kid.

And then there is the bunnies again! Is it the same? I can only hope.


Author's Response:


It isn't fair that Wren is spending so much time with Gran here, but she wants to do it, and her parents are quite busy. There aren't many options available to them at this point.

Do not trust the little boy. Those are good instincts. Trust those.

Bunnies! They keep coming around. It's kind of the point. :)

Thanks for coming back to the story!


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Review #7, by AlexFan 

4th August 2015:
Itís so strange to see someone as strong as Augusta Longbottom be portrayed as this frail old woman because she was so different in the books. I donít think even Neville thought about his grandmother getting old and weak. She mustíve been one of the strongest people that was present throughout his life. if itís hard for Wren to look after her Gran and worry about her, I can only imagine what Neville must feel like.

I liked that you include more detail in this chapter and talk about Granís condition more. It really brings out the feeling of hopelessness that Wren and everyone in her family is experiencing at the moment. And I liked how you talked about the kind of toll that it took on Wren as well and how sheís struggling to adjust to her new home by pointing out some of the difference between her old home and the Inn.

And that little boy Dillon, at first I felt a little sorry for him but there was this feeling of dread that I had the entire time that Roxanne was talking to him and Iíll be honest with you, the way that he was manipulating Roxanne to get what he wanted makes me a little wary. Heís far too cunning for someone who sounds very young. I thought he had something really sinister in his basket but it turned out to be just bunnies (but I donít trust the bunnies, they could be dangerous bunnies).

Everything feels off with what Wren is experiencing, everything seems innocent enough but thereís something very shady/sketchy underneath all of that innocence. This chapter was definitely better than the first and pulled me into the story even more.


Author's Response:

Augusta was such a strong character, I agree. But everyone gets old eventually. It's hard to watch, and yes, Neville must feel awful. I'm glad you liked the detail about Wren and her new home.

Dillon's his own special person. Dread and suspicion, uh oh! Is he not cute enough for you? Don't you want a cute little bunny?? They're really cute... and fluffy...

That feeling of things being "off", and "shady/sketchy", but still innocent is exactly what I was going for here. I'm happy you picked up on this.

Thanks for another review!


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Review #8, by DaaOne 

3rd August 2015:
Hello there, this is DaaOne from the forums

I think you must hate me, I've taken so much time to post a review on your story, and I'm really sorry for that.. It's just that I'm a very slow reader when it comes to reading from the screen, and I've also been very busy at work..

So back to your story.

I was definitely devastated by the fact that Alice and Frank died and I felt my heart was gonna pop out of its place. It's a sad beginning to your story.

I came to love Wren and her hobby that is photography and for small creatures and it pained me that she had to be taken away from the place she loved the most. I felt sorry for her.. I felt sorry for the animals as well! You broke my heart in several moments of this story and I won't forgive you for that..

You have a great gift of description. I could feel all the details, the moving part, the lake, the surroundings of the lake, Albus Rose and Gran's expressions.. They were all very clear to me..

I also found the story with Dillon very very interesting. It made me feel like there was some kind of mystery to it. The little boy.. I wonder where his mother is. I wonder if he would actually go to Hogwarts.. There's something so strange about his character.. I can't tell what it is, I'm just intrigued.

I think your plot flows in a good pace. I didn't feel disconnected from the story. There wasn't a moment when I was like: "where does this detail fit exactly?" no.. It was perfectly written and I liked the whole thing. And I felt every bit of feelings you were trying to give here. I think this story has good flow and I definitely like it!

I hope I did get to every detail here and there in this review and I hope you won't have to wait long for the next review to be posted haha

Happy writing dear

Author's Response:


No problem on the wait. I have life too, so I understand. I wanted Wren to be a rather sympathetic creature herself. She's got a lot that will hit her all at once, which tends to happen from time to time. I'm sorry about your heart. Maybe some Spell-o-tape?

I'm so glad you felt the story descriptions were apt. I didn't want to do too much, but since Wren's a photographer, she'd see things in that way.

Dillon was all kinds of fun to construct for this story. I wont' say more than he's his own special type of person.

Ah good. Disconnect would be bad. I also tried really hard to add details that mattered. I wanted everything to have its own place, so I'm glad things fit into the framework of the chapters for you so far.

Thanks so much for the specific comments!


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Review #9, by cherry_pop94 

30th July 2015:
Hello Pix,

I'm back for another review!

I really liked this chapter. All the prose flowed into the dialogue well and the settings were all very vivid and well done.

This new character Dillon is really interesting! There's something quite odd about him, isn't there? From meeting him, we see that Wren is very trusting. Dillon's clearly a bit strange, even though he is a child. I wonder what he means all those strange thoughts he had and his missing Hogwarts letter. Something tells me that he's perhaps not totally human?

I don't have much concrit for this one. I thought it was really well done and a great introduction for Dillon. We also got to know Wren a little better and we understand Augusta's condition now (heartbreaking stuff there!)

I would say though, and this is just a little note, but in the beginning, you use some exclamation points in the prose. This is just a weird nit pick of mine, but I feel like exclamation point and colloquialisms sound a little strange in this style of writing.

Still, I thought this was a really marvelous chapter and you've really got me curious as to what happens next!


Author's Response:
Hi again!

Dillon is one of the most interesting characters in the story, I think. There IS something odd about him, and Wren has this tendency to want to help. Presenting her with someone who looks lost and lonely just makes her want to help him so much. Perhaps he isn't human, like you said...

Oh, haha. I have a character that can't help himself with the colloquialisms in this story. You haven't met him yet, but he's understandably annoying. But all his stuff is in dialog, so I'll take a look at the prose and see what's going on there.

Thanks so much for coming back!


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Review #10, by Gabriella Hunter 

18th July 2015:

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with our swap! Thank you so much for the great review you left for "Grey"! It meant a lot to me, I hope to see you around again. :D

So, I read this a long time ago and yet, I was still able to remember almost everything. I didn't even have to go back and catch up on what I missed! I was already in love with Wren and I could understand her very well but this chapter, especially the beginning just tore at my heart.

I never really saw Augusta Longbottom as a very emotional woman but seeing her crumbling like this was hard to read. It's always difficult to write scenes like this because you know that it's coming from a very private place. Seeing a loved one fading away or even just really ill, takes a lot out of a person and I liked how you wrote that with Wren. She's moved to a whole new area and is out of touch with herself, nothing has that familiar "spark", which makes her being with her Gran all the more painful.

I liked that you weaved in canon so wonderfully here. The information about Frank and Alice was hard to take but you didn't focus so much on that, some writers can really jerk you away from what's happening right NOW but you chose not to. Wren didn't even really think too much about her father's parents but you can tell that there was love there too for them. I do wonder though, what's going to happen to poor Gran in the next few chapters and I thought the details you added in about the potions muddling her mind was a great affect. It seems like there's a lot that Muggle and Healer medicine just can't cure. :(

So, Dillon. I'm going to be honest and say that that little boy gave me the creeps. I just got this really weird feeling about him--he's up to something, obviously but I'm not sure if it's malicious or not. Wren was such a great support for him and it was nice seeing her smile and be a little happy but then we've got that darn bunny at the end.who walks around with a basket of adorable baby bunnies? Like...there's a whole other story there and I want to know more about Dillon's precious Mummy. Ah, I just have this weird feeling that something isn't right...

But on a whole other note, this was great! Your pace was awesome, your characters are realistic and powerful and it's just all sorts of awesome.

Thanks for the swap!

Much love,


Author's Response:

Hi Gabbie!

Ah, chapter two has a lot of heartbreak in it with Augusta's condition. I didn't want to belabor the point. I think it spoke for itself as Wren's difficulties merged with Augusta's. A 95-year-old friend of my mother's told me that growing old is not for the weak at heart. Things start falling apart. There's a lot of frustration when the body doesn't work the way it ought to, not to mention the physical pain. Something always hurts. For Wren's Gran, it's also affecting her on the inside, a place where no one can reach.

Dillon is a special little boy. His rabbits are relevant and you should definitely trust that weird feeling you have. Good instincts should never be ignored.

Thanks for the lovely review! The revisions are up, so if you get the chance to skim through that first chapter again, let me know.


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Review #11, by TreacleTart 

11th July 2015:
Hello again!

I'm having writer's block tonight, so I thought I'd return and read some more of your lovely story.

Where to start?

The scene with Augusta is so heartbreaking. It actually reminds me quite a bit of my grandmother. She had Parkinson's disease, which eventually caused her severe dementia, so I could really relate to what Wren was going through. It's hard watching someone so strong become almost childlike, especially when that person is such a prominent member of the family.

This little boy is super creepy and I'm not sure how Wren hasn't picked up on that. Maybe it's the kindness in her heart that keeps her from seeing how weird this child is, but I was immediately freaked out by him. He reminded me of Tom Riddle a little bit, but he also had sort of his own unique thing going on.

I'm also surprised that Wren let the little boy go wandering off on his own late at night. I would think that she would insist that he come in to eat and maybe shower before allowing him to take off.

Something seems very odd about the story he tells. What type of mother would set a child off on their own with a basket of rabbits? I'm really intrigued by this and can't wait to find out what's going on there.

This was another excellent chapter. I'm hooked already. This will be added to my favorites list. Good job!


Author's Response: Aww, writer's block is no fun.

I've had a few people comment on relating to the scene with Augusta. It's one of those things where if you've been there, you get it.

I'm glad you were immediately freaked out by the little boy. Those are good instincts you have there. He's so sweet and innocent and... maybe he isn't. He definitely has his own thing going on. I hope you keep reading to find out more about him.

Thanks so much for another fantastic review!


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Review #12, by Roisin 

8th March 2015:
"Where's Frank?" *DIES.*

I DIED. Augusta's dementia is written with such heartbreaking, perfect, honest pathos. Also, the flying pillows are part of her dementia-magic? That is a brilliant idea--like, so amazing. I can't believe I never thought about that. My grandfather always said old age was the 'second childhood.' So it makes sense that someone very old might have the same uncontrollable magical situations as small/pre-Hogwarts children. And there's a huge amount of metaphor there. Plus, the pain of seeing someone with dementia or alzheimers is augmented by the danger of it (forgetting things, wandering off, etc). By including a magical element, you really ramp up the examination you are doing. BRAVO.

And speaking of Bravo's--CREEPY BOY. I love what you did with weaving in his POV. And then the fact that Wren is so skind to him really mirrors how she treats bunny! And like, sure, WE know that the kid is scary and the bunny is somehow evil, because we know we are reading a story. But of course she wouldn't see either of those things as threatening. Like, she's not a dumb girl in a horror movie deciding to explore the attic alone. Her decisions make sense.

HOW DOES THIS ALL CONNECT?!?!?! I am so excited by this story, because I literally have no theories as to where it will go. I can't even try. I'm just excited to see what happens!

Author's Response: No! Don't die!!! I ned you!!!

Aww, thanks! Augusta's story is a bit heartbreaking, and you can't be anything but honest about it. I was thinking about oldness and youngness, and the connections between them. So it makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

Yes! Creepy Boy!!

Ah, am I keeping you guessing? That you care enough to guess just warms my heart. I hope you get a chance to come back some time.

Thanks for such a lovely review! (and I fixed the chapter order, lol!)

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Review #13, by The Basilisk 

8th January 2015:
Why hello there!! :D Being a dark creature myself, I just couldn't resist this ssstory which promisess to have some ssspooky elements. I enjoyed the first chapter so much that I just kept reading!

Wow, I find Gran's deterioration so heartbreaking but also relatable. You write the relationship Wren has with her grandmother really well, with the desperation she's feeling while also missing the person her grandmother used to be. I have a loved one with dementia and Gran's interactions reminded me a little of interacting with her and how helpless you feel sometimes.

The feeling of being in a big city is so vibrant here, I could really feel the atmosphere. How refuge can be found in a crowd, and that feeling of darkness settling over a busy place. It was so well written and really put me in the moment.

Wow, that little boy is so creepy! I got goosebumps when it said that he "looked dead into her eyes." If he's some sort of ghost, then that was really amazing foreshadowing (and a wonderful line nonetheless!).

Gah, he's so creepy but I loved how slipping into his perspective made me empathize with him more other than just being this creepy possible ghost boy. (Why are child ghosts always the scariest??) I liked how he thought it was nice to have a friend, and it makes me all the more curious about Dillon and his mother and the rabbits. Wren came across as so sweet too, it was neat seeing her from an external perspective.

Great chapter! :D

♥ from the Basilisk

Author's Response:
It's the elusive Basilisk!!! For me??? I am honored!

I certainly don't mind someone who reads a few chapters and then gives me a review later. I do that myself sometimes, in fact.

There is this helpless feeling when someone you care about isn't able to respond the way you know they used to. There's something tragic about that too. I'm glad that came across for you.

I know, what is this thing with creepy little boys? Exactly why he's in my story. I couldn't resist the vibe of him.

Thanks so much for the surprise review!

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Review #14, by Holly the Holiday Horklump 

27th December 2014:
This scene with Gran is breaking my heart :( There's something especially tragic about Gran being in a state of despair too, over her loss; meanwhile, Wren is struggling with the loss of Gran and home. Gran's illness just *is*, it doesn't seem fixable, and I really hope Wren finds a cure but I'm already worrying. Oh--I just got to the part where Wren mentions spotting a lost cause. Suspicions confirmed, nooo!

I like how Wren explores a muggle space as a witch. It's familiar to her--she thinks about how to return the lost boy in a Muggle way--but details are still alien, like the policeman's phone. How she hides her magical self at varying lengths--it's very much in tune with how Muggles don't really notice strange things happening.

Oooh, I love how you set up the mystery of this boy. The build up from finding out he "knows" her, to he's got magical parents, to being left alone to find magic, whatever he means. The first paragraph of his PoV is pretty sinister. I really don't know what to make of him. It's almost like an innocent evil, like he's a child that doesn't know right from wrong, only what he wants. Ooft, that's why creepy children are the scariest things in horror movies. He's magical all right, but he's not a wizard if he can't go to Hogwarts... Wren is such a dear trying to help him, but the entire time I think, Nooo, it's a trap! Even the little bunny at the end! It's a trap bunny!

I would love to learn more about Wren through Dillon's observations, things that we might not learn through Wren's PoV, or maybe more about the current state of the wizarding world, to color the world a bit more. You've got two great mysteries going on here, with Gran and Dillon. It's been a really fun read!

Author's Response:

Yes. No! Ahh, poor Gran!

It was fun writing a witch in a muggle area and trying to figure out what she'd know about and what still was alien to her. If she spent a lot of time in London, she'd be comfortable with a lot of things, but there would still be gaps since she was raised in the magical world.

Creepy children are very scary. And unpredictable too. You have a good idea about using Dillon to highlight things about Wren and the wizarding world. I will have to think on that and see if it comes alive a bit more.

I love mysteries, and I'm glad you enjoyed the two chapters! Thanks so much for making my Holiday special!

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Review #15, by 1917farmgirl 

13th October 2014:
You know, for purportedly writing a story about teen angst and drama and mushiness and most likely spoons, you sure manage to put in an awful lot of intense, real, human emotions. I literally just had this conversation with WYHO about this fic:

Me - How the heck does Pix's supposedly silly story about blood-sucking rabbits and teen angst always make me cry?

WYHO - Cause she's brilliant like that?

Me - Amen.

And it's true! You went and made me cry again. There is just something so touching and personal about those sections with Gran. It just...GAH! You owe me lots and lots of tissues.

And then, you throw in a creepy little kid.

I know much about this Dillon...which I shall refrain from saying. But, I'm still so curious! Despite what I know, he seems so...normal...in a completely non-normal way. Is he evil? Or just alone? Who is this mother?

And the most important question? Why do you have to make little kids and sweet little bunnies evil?

Bunny - :(

Teen angst and vampires? - yeah right. This is really tragedy and real life and emotion and truth mixed up with crazy writing skills and great descriptions, all stirred by the spoon of AWESOMENESS...because you are.

Seriously, Pix, you are fooling no one here, with your claims of it "just being a teen drama story."

Author's Response:

Um... hi. How do I respond to that?

Okay, firstly in my defense, I am still allergic to angst, the drama has been comparatively low-key, and Albus has never gotten Wren over for toffee pudding yet, so the spoons are a bit absent at this point.

*hands tissues*

I don't know if it will make you feel any better, but Gran doesn't have a lot of scenes in the story as a whole, so maybe you could bear with the whole of it, and we'll sneak Gran out the back when it gets to be too much.

As for Dillon and the bunnies, you were absolutely forewarned about that.

Ahh, the human condition! It's something I don't think I come close to doing justice most of the time, and you are making me feel like I've got a bit of it right. You have flattered me to no end, which seems to be a talent of yours, so I can only thank you for your kind words and bask in this ridiculously flattering review.

Thank you!

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Review #16, by MargaretLane 

7th April 2014:
Hmm, I can't help wondering if there's something more to Augusta's, and Frank and Alice's, condition than meets the eye in this. It seems kind of coincidental she'd be experiencing similar symptoms to them.

Hmm, I wonder who this child is and what is going on. My immediate thought was that he was a wizarding child and therefore a Muggle policeman wouldn't be able to find his parents, but I suspect there's a little more to it than that.

If he pretended to be what everybody thought him to be? I wonder what he is really. That is intriguing.

Hmm, so some of what he's telling her is true at least.

Author's Response:

Wow! Three Hmms in one review! I guess you're still actively thinking. I hope that's a good thing...

Hey, that's a great theory about Augusta's condition tied in to Frank and Alice's condition. No one else has mentioned that, and I'm not confirming or disputing the theory either. I guess you really are thinking. :)

Dillon doesn't lie outright. But that doesn't mean that he can't be sneaky.

Thanks for coming back to chapter two! In regards to your challenge, the "not feeling well" issue with my MC basically spans the entire story, it's what the plot revolves around, and a lot of the plot is set up "mystery style". I don't know if that's what you were looking for in your challenge, but there it is.

Thanks for giving this story a chance!


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Review #17, by TidalDragon 

29th March 2014:
Hello again!

Well, Wren does have quite the trusting heart doesn't she? Leading an unidentified boy into Diagon Alley and offering up the locations of Hogsmeade and Hogwarts on a map... There's a part of me that's skeptical that even a teenage witch or wizard would do that. Still, the beginning of the chapter you continued with the very good characterization of her and the interactions and descriptions with Augusta were definitely sobering.

As for Dillon, I will say (and hopefully this was intentional) there's a definite creep factor to him. He really seems, despite his apparent age, to have some machinations going on and carrying around a basket of biting baby bunnies...given your title it's very mysterious.

This chapter felt like it moved more quickly than the previous one, though I'm still not clear on exactly what's going on or where we're headed because there are kind of a myriad of possible courses pulling focus at the moment. If that's intentional, then mission accomplished. If not, then I'm still soldiering on to see where the journey takes me.

Author's Response:
Trusting heart! I tried not to make the chapter titles be completely ridiculous, but sometimes I get a little punchy with them. Aaand, yeah, sometimes characters do something nonsensical. I hope I built Wren up enough that you can roll with it. She's sixteen, she's curious, and she has this burning need to help someone.

Yes, everything about Dillon is intentional.

And yes, there's a lot going on. This was one of my concerns, which I believe you address later on.

Thanks for soldiering on!

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Review #18, by SilentConfession 

29th March 2014:
I really like the pacing of this story so far. The first chapter was such a brief look into what is going to happen and I think with this chapter you've added just the right amount of layers into it that give it a really full and dimensional feel. One thing I like is the atmosphere and tone. Where we feel this sadness from Wren and through Wren we feel Grans' sadness as well. There is despair there, the knowledge that someone who used to be so strong has become unravelled at the seams. It's also sad to see how they're losing hope. All that is lovely because that is already quite a few layers, but then you go and add this other layer with Dillon and the light and rabbits. It'll be interesting to see where you are taking this and seeing that unravel from Wrens' eyes will be really interesting.

Speaking of Dillon, he gives me the creeps. I do not like him and I kept telling Wren to stop being so nice to the kid. He is not normal and why isn't she stopping to ask herself why he's lugging about a bunch of rabbits. Who does that? Kid or not. Use your head Wren! It's weird. And, the whole biting of Wren's hand... does that mean something? Why was Dillon saying she would definitely keep the rabbit now? Is she forever bonded to that thing or... or maybe it's a tracking device or maybe SHE'S the monster your summary is referring to (haha, right). But I like the mystery and the suspense this chapter has. And the fact that this suspense is built up by rabbits of all things. But i'm really curious to see where you are taking this because of all the tiny hints and details you keep dropping. I can't help but think that Gran wanting them to move has more to do with it somehow. Perhaps she knew something was off and demanded that before she lost her wits completely. I don't know, but I'm now insanely curious.

Another thing I really love about this is the perfect balance of her thoughts and grief and the outward action of the story. It's all very subtly done, but it has a really beautiful flow to it that way. It feels real to me. It doesn't make me feel like anyone is overreacting and beating their chests, but it's just regular people dealing with life's ups and downs. You are handling it really anyway because it is hard to decide where that line goes, how far does grief go? When do you stop? Can there ever be acceptance?

You still continue to have a firm hold on the mystery and suspense. None of this felt forced, too ambiguous, or frustrating. You've added layers and yes, there is a a lot of ambiguity to this chapter, but in a way that adds to the story and makes it feel so real. It seems to this point you are still very much in control of it and I would say that the ambiguity is good as it makes people want to read more to find the answers. (like who are you Dillon and why are you masquerading as a boy?) I have so many different theories floating in my head and I feel like they are all completely off the mark. But hey ho!

Great job with this chapter. You're writing is so nice to read and I like how you you keep packing in the mystery here.

Author's Response:
Yay for pacing! I was concerned about the tone being too depressing for the first two chapters. I like to mix it up, but the story needed to have some low tones at the beginning before I could lighten it up.

Yeah, Dillon's weird like that. You're asking all the right questions, and I love that you're curious about the story. I found it interesting that both of our stories dealt with grief, and it's fun to read how another story handles it.

I'm glad you're finding the story easy to read. That means a lot!

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Review #19, by marauderfan 

9th March 2014:
Hello there miss Featured Story :) Review tag!

Oh Wren, poor thig. I get the feeling this isn't the first time her Gran has mistaken her for Alice. :( And the state Augusta is in, compared to what she used to be... it's heartbreaking. It seems like Wren has already accepted it, but she doesn't want to.

I don't remember if I mentioned this last time but your description is really fantastic. It's not wordy, but it conveys a lot in a few well chosen words. I like it.

Dillon - what a mystery! I think he's a Squib. I must say though, the whole way through the chapter I was wondering what he had in the basket because it seemed really ominous, haha. And after finding out that it was rabbits, well now I think it's even more ominous because I'll bet that IS the same rabbit! And why did Dillon's mum stop doing magic? Is it related to the rabbits? Where did Dillon get those rabbits in the first place and why is he wandering around London with them? Haha, I'll stop...

Each chapter I've read of this so far raises so many questions! :p Love it! The mystery is excellent. This is a great chapter!

Author's Response: Hi!

It was a happy surprise to find out that Rabbit Heart was the Featured Story! If you think I was excited, you should have seen Wren and her rabbit!

I try to keep the description relevant to the story, without slowing down the action. Sometimes that means that I go back in editing and take words out. Sometimes my betas complain that I take too many words out and suggest that I add them back in. :P There's definitely a balancing act going on there.

Dillon! Could be a Squib... and how did you feel when you found out about the rabbits? More curious? A little creeped out? Full of fuzzy feels?

Thanks so much for the review! See you next time!

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Review #20, by ScarletEye158 

24th February 2014:
Well this chapter sure was different than I thought it was going to be! :P I definitely did not expect a little boy coming into the picture at all! It's a really interesting plot twist though and I'm curious to see where it goes!

I feel really bad for Wren and everything she has to go through with Gran :( I get the sense that they used to be really close at one point and I can't imagine how it must feel to basically have lost her even though she is still alive.

Hmm, the part about the bunny really intrigued me! I have a feeling that it might be the same one, and if it is the little boy must have something to do with the light! Am I right? :P

I really liked how you paced the chapter and kept me interested in what was going to happen next! It wasn't too fast or too slow, which was awesome! I always have the most trouble with my second chapter of a story because it's the one that comes directly after the most important one (usually) yet you don't want to give too much away right in the beginning of a story. I always feel like the second chapter is the one that's going to make or break whether your story is going to keep a reader interested and I definitely think you did really well with it! I'm still super interested and can't wait to read more :)

nice job! :)


Author's Response:

Err... surprise? Haha. Isn't he a cute little boy? Don't you just want to help him with anything he needs?

Wren and her gran were very close, and she does feel like she's already lost her. I know, it is sad. Poor Wren!

Yes, there's a light and a rabbit and a boy. ;) Haha! The chapter I had the most trouble with was the first one. In fact, this used to be the first chapter, and I felt like I started the story too late and wrote a new first chapter... which happens to me quite a bit, I'm afraid. I'm rubbish at starting a story. :P

Thanks for another great review!

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Review #21, by Infinityx 

19th February 2014:
Hi Pix! I'm sorry I took so long to get to this! RL is being too selfish. :(

This was such an amazing chapter. Every scene you've described is so powerful and I feel a little lightheaded now. I think I held my breath quite a few times through this chapter. I don't have any CC for you but I am going to gush and be excited right now. There are so many questions that this chapter left me with and my curiosity is boundless. I'm going to read on as soon as I'm done with this review!

I love how you've started by focusing on the whole situation with Gran. One thing that I really like about your writing is that you focus on each part of the story, giving just the right amount of detail, and the pace of the story is just perfect.

The scene with Gran was so touching and overwhelmingly sad. :'( From this chapter, I can see that you're story has been well planned out in terms of what goes into each chapter and how to balance each part, and I think that's brilliant. I love how you've focused on Wren's thoughts and feelings, giving all those small bits of information like how Gran would smile at the plaque, the picture of the dandelion that she wanted, the necklace she gave Wren, Gran being a good listener. These are the intricacies that make a story go from good to great, because even though they aren't vital to the plot, it's because of them that the reader can connect to the MC and her feelings. Wonderful job there!

Poor Hannah and Wren. They're both trying to be so strong and manage their lives. I can imagine how helpless they must feel, not being able to do anything to help Gran get better. I remember the last month before my grandfather died, we who were close to him felt so useless and like breaking down, but tried to remain strong and do what we can, which wasn't much. That's such a powerful emotion to express and I love how you've brought that into the story. It's dreadful, but in a good way. You've written it extremely well with the overwhelming despair and the desire to do something.

Okay, Dillon is really creepy. Is he even actually a kid? And RABBITS! How on earth is he connected to the light and the rabbit that disappeared from the woods?! I'm sure he must be! That little boy gave me the chills. He behaves like any other kid (kind of), but his thoughts and everything his mother has told him is just...well. what. is. happening. It's as though he's going to try and get to Hogwarts on his own but WHY. Why would his mother send him off on his own like that? UGH. THE SUSPENSE. AND RABBITS! :o

I love how you've transited from the scene in Gran's room to the mysterious mood with the boy. (if he actually is one.) This has got to be the strangest story I've read and the mystery is just overpowering! How did you think of such a plot? :o

Okay, I need to see what happens next. Please update soon! I'm sure I'm going to be biting my nails and quivering with curiosity when I'm done reading the remaining ones that are up! This is just hoipgknsdashdb.

Amazing chapter! And sorry if my review is a bit muddled up and the sentences aren't properly formed. I'm exhausted and should be sleeping. But. *dashes off to read*

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh dear. You really should breathe more. :) I'm glad you think the pacing is okay for this chapter. I never know if I get that right. It always sounds okay in my head, but you know how that goes.

Hannah and Wren have a big job with Gran. Neville too. In situations like that, it's hard not to feel useless. Everyone wants so badly to help, but sometimes, there really is nothing else one can do to make things better.

Dillon. I don't know what I can say about him that won't give away the story. I guess you will have to be left in suspense until you read further. ;) And rabbits! Aren't they such cute and cuddly critters??!?! AWww!!

Interesting guess that Dillon isn't a REAL boy. Hmm...

I hope to update weekly, since most of this story is already written and going through beta hands at the moment. We'll cross our fingers and hope that RL doesn't mess that up.

Thanks so much for the great review!!

Oh, and sleep. This story will still be here when you wake up. :)

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Review #22, by maraudertimes 

1st February 2014:
Hiya! Gryffie tag!

Well, I loved the first chapter and this one certainly didn't disappoint either! It was very well done!

It was really sad at the start, seeing Wren's Gran like that. It was really nice to see how Wren took care of her though. It's really sweet how much she cares, but then it's also really sad to see how Gran turned out, and how it's affecting Wren. Wren's mother also seems to be burdened by Gran's new dependence on others, but she seems to be dealing with it much better than Wren is, and it's nice to see that little bit of growth from daughter to mother.

This little boy seems sketchy to me. I mean, it's sad that he's seemingly all alone, but I'm not too sure about him. Where did he get all the baby rabbits? Why doesn't he know more about Hogwarts? If he's old enough (is he old enough?) why doesn't he have his Hogwarts letter? Is Dillon even his real name?

I don't care how much Wren likes him, this Dillon just doesn't seem right to me. Something is definitely off with him. Wait. Could he have been the source of the light? Is that where he's getting the rabbits?

This was really well done and I'm excited to see not only what's next, but your next chapter titles as well. ;)

Amazing job!

Author's Response:
Hello again!

I don't know why everyone is having such trouble with Dillon. Don't ya'll have any compassion for strange little boys who show up in deserted parks after dark with am inexplicably large basket of cute cuddly rabbits and has a habit of disappearing and reappearing whenever he choses?

Just kidding! I totally wrote him to be creepy. I love this, "Is Dillon even his real name?" Haha!

I kept wondering if I put in too much about Wren and Gran in these first two chapters, but honestly, there wasn't any other place to put it. I'm glad you see Hannah trying to keep things together as much as she can. She's a hard worker, that one.

Oh, the chapter titles. I might end up regretting that, but it's fun for now.

Thanks for the great review!


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Review #23, by adluvshp 

28th January 2014:
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums =)

I liked this chapter quite as much as the first. The essence of sadness that engulfs the atmosphere is prominent here too, and it makes sense as in the first chapter Wren was upset about leaving and her grandmother, and since things necessarily haven't changed in this chapter yet, I think it's nice you're still keeping that mood intact. It also maintains the intensity of the story which I love.

The mystery with which you introduced the new character - Dillon - was also very interesting and I am intrigued to know his story now, and his purpose - why does he want to get to Hogwarts? why did his mother give up magic? why did she leave him on the "quest"? why didn't he get his letter if he's of the apt age? So many questions buzzing in my mind, which is definitely a good thing as it means your writing has been able to provoke me to thinking, and I love that about stories.

Though of course I do find him pretty creepy. Like he just seemed to appear out of nowhere looking "lost" and all this thoughts had me creeped out a bit, plus he doesn't want to get in the way of policemen. I think he's a squib but that can't be the only reason for him being so desperate to get to Hogwarts can it? It feels like there's some ulterior plan there. Oh and why is he carrying a basket full of rabbits? In fact, I am very curious to know what everything has got to do with rabbits in the story since it forms the title and seems to be a vital part of the plot, so I am very excited to see where you're taking the story.

I love Wren as a character. She's not a Mary-Sue who's so self-sacrificing and stuff that she doesn't mind moving for her great grandma's sake, in fact, it does affect her and she wants to go back, and yet of course she wants her great gran to get better too - the conflict in her is realistic and the tiredness and desperation she feels at her situation is also natural. She is also someone who cares about others, as is apparent by her talking to the lost little boy, and is not selfish. She's a good person and yet not a perfectly-perfect character, and that makes her well-characterised. I like reading her and want to know how she tackles the upcoming situations (whatever they are).

You mentioned that you were concerned about things being too serious but honestly speaking I liked the chapter - both this and chapter 1 and I don't think it's too serious. Of course, I may be biased because I'd much rather read serious and morbid stuff rather than funny and entertaining (I know I am weird sorry haha). But in my opinion, I think this chapter is well-written and flows smoothly in continuation with the first. The mood is maintained and the turn of events is intriguing, which I like. As a character, Wren is nicely crafted and I don't think she's fixated in her thoughts - you're being a little harsh on yourself - she's merely brooding and i think it makes sense in her situation. That's just my opinion though =)

Really, I don't have any CC to offer you. Your characterisation, grammar, descriptions, flow, and over all writing is very good and I am enjoying the story. I hope to come back for the next chapter. Feel free to re-request =)


P.S. I am sorry for the monstrous length of this review! I definitely didn't intend for this to be so long haha.

Author's Response:
First off, you never have to apologize for a monstrous review. How could I not love all those words??

I did want to maintain the intensity of the story here, since the main plot hasn't yet engaged itself. I sometimes feel like this story got off to a slow start, with all the character development and whatnot, but you can't rush that sort of thing. I'm glad you felt it was appropriate and didn't think it was too serious or soppy, and the mood was good. It gets lighter from here... for a while, anyway.

Dillon has lots of stuff inside his head that we get to explore throughout the story. I love when readers use the word "creepy" for him, because that's exactly what I set out to do with his character. And yeah, what's up with all the rabbits?? ;)

I'm also glad you continue to like Wren. She and I have become quite close during this story, so I feel the same way. Sometimes I don't bond with my characters, which I guess is odd, but here I can say that I wouldn't mind going out for muffins or something with her. She's fun. Though I prefer when she's not so broody. :p

Thanks for another great review! I shall have to re-request for more!

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Review #24, by nott theodore 

25th January 2014:
Hi again! Thanks for re-requesting!

Wow, this was a really great second chapter! I loved the first chapter of this story (you might have gleamed that from my review) but I felt like this one improved on that and was even better. I don't know how you manage it, but your writing is just flawless - I can't spot any mistakes at all, and the way that you communicate information is brilliant. You're a master of 'showing not telling'!

As far as interest level is concerned, if you can't tell by my gushing so far, you've definitely got me hooked. I felt like the story really started properly in this chapter, in terms of plot development, anyway, and you've already made me ask more and more questions about what's going on in this story. Which is great, since it makes me want to keep on reading, obviously!

Your pacing is also just right, I think. The opening to the chapter felt a little slower than the rest, but I think that fit with the reflective, almost wistful tone of your writing in that section. The rest of the chapter was brilliantly paced, too - I'm not sure if you deliberately sped up the pace of the chapter there, or whether it was just my eagerness to find out what is going on with Dillon, but the second section really gripped me.

The opening section with Augusta was really heartbreaking. I've had first-hand experience of loved ones suffering dementia, and I think you handled the change that has happened to her really well and sensitively. It's hard, when someone changes so completely, to stop believing that some day they might change back and revert to the person that they used to be. I'm hoping that there's some hope for Augusta still in this story, and that maybe she can regain some of the strength she once had.

I really felt like we got to see how much Wren cared for her great-grandmother in that opening section, and it was made all the more heart-breaking because Augusta had been such a strong character, so to see her like that felt very tragic. Wren's caring personality came through really well, but I think her age did too - the way that she thought about the move was still a touch selfish, which is understandable, especially for someone who's not yet sixteen.

Dillon... ugh. At first he seemed quite cute, and I felt sorry for him when I thought he was lost, but that was quickly surpassed by how creepy he became and I really felt uneasy reading about him. Wren seemed oblivious to some of the signs - why was the policeman telling her that it wasn't safe? What's been happening that's got the Muggles worried as well?

At first I wondered if Dillon was actually someone in disguise - someone who had taken Polyjuice Potion, perhaps, but his mindset still felt quite childish and I'm not sure it would be if someone older was impersonating him. But there's definitely something not right. I wonder if he was possessed, but maybe... is he Imperiused? That could explain the vacant expression, the single-minded determination to get to Hogwarts...

He really is a very creepy little boy! I can't help feeling like someone has used him to target Wren, or has at least targeted Wren to help get him into Hogwarts. Speaking of Hogwarts - why does he want to go there? It sounds like he's a Squib, since his mother and sister both went to Hogwarts - I wonder if he's been hidden from the school somehow? And then the rabbits! There's definitely something about the rabbits (obviously, with the title!) but I'm just not sure what. It's connected to Wren's garden... is that how they found her?

This chapter has raised so many questions that they've kind of dominated my review, but nonetheless this was a brilliant chapter, and I hope that this was vaguely helpful!

Sian :)

Author's Response:

Oh wow. Look at that shiny review! Is it my birthday?

The flawlessness is due to my brilliant betas. I really must give another shout out to them soon. They do excellent work and they bring out the best in the story. :) I don't know about being a "master", but I do try to show as much as I can. Thanks!

I am so happy that you are interested in the story! Isn't that always the main concern when we release a new story?

I'm not sure what picked the pace up there. It was probably Dillon. He doesn't reflect on things the way that Wren does, and he's very direct with his needs and wants. He's all, "Gimme, gimmie that!" That was probably it. I love your postulations about his intentions and his circumstances. He gets to tell us (show us, haha!) all about it through the story. I am quite excited by this.

If it makes you feel better, Augusta does have an arc in this story. I won't say more than that, but things change, so she won't always be just like she is here.

You know, if you get a chance to come back by and review and leave nothing but your questions about what will happen next, I think I'd find that quite delightful. Feel free to do that anytime!

Thanks so much for the stupendous review!


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Review #25, by UnluckyStar57 

23rd January 2014:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review! :)

You asked me to check out flow/general interest level, but here's the thing: I think that it all flows very well, and I'm EXTREMELY interested in this story. So I can't speak for the population at large, but I personally believe that this story is going to turn out very strangely--and VERY awesome-ly. :)

So, since I've addressed my opinions on your Areas of Concern, I'll just start in on the story now.


Wren continues to be a strong female lead. It's good to know that she's real enough to be unsettled by the move from the country to the city, and that she just wants her great-grandmother back. I find it very interesting (now that I think about it) that her name is Wren and she has an affinity for taking care of animals (and people). Did you choose that name for that purpose? :) I like that she stopped to talk to Dillon, even though she could've just minded her own business. That shows that she cares about more than just herself and the goings-on of her family. She isn't a selfish person, and she seems very different that the typical trope of the OC who is only concerned with hair/makeup/OMGAlbusPotter'seyes. So I really like that about her. :D

Augusta Longbottom makes me so sad. She was such a domineering, formidable witch in the HP series, and now, to see her like this... It's as if she's a totally different person--or that her mind is permanently somewhere else. Her body is stuck in reality, but her thoughts are God-knows-where. I feel terrible for her--that Alice and Frank's deaths should have affected her so much. :(

To be very honest, Dillon creeps me out a little bit. He's just this random kid who knows what the Gryffindor crest looks like, and his mother is AWOL, but she went to Hogwarts. And from the sound of it, he's a Squib, which is really sad for him, but that fact doesn't clear up all of the questions surrounding him. Where did he come from? Who is his sister? Does Wren know her? Why did his mother quit doing magic? Why does he feel like he needs to go to Hogwarts? (Does he not understand that he's a Squib?) And, most importantly, WHY does he have a box of rabbits?!?!?! The motif of rabbits is going to keep showing up time and time again, but I'm not very sure what's going on. I totally understand that *duh, silly* it's in the title, so it's got EVERYTHING to do with the story, but why do the bunnies keep popping up? They're breeding like rabbits! :D

I guess I'll just have to find out, won't I? :)

Grammar/Spelling&etc: Everything is perfect. You have betas, so I think they catch everything that you miss. That's a really, really good thing, because I LURVE stories that are grammatically sound and don't spl wrds liek dis (translation: don't spell words like this). So this story is perfect in that regard. :D

Plot Flow: I think that the plot is flowing very, very nicely at this point, as I said earlier in the review. Also, I don't think that the internal dialogue thing is totally fine. Now I have a better sense of who Wren is, and a very strange and fragmented sense of who Dillon is (but that's only because he was just introduced. I'll get to know more about him in future chapters, I'm sure!). All fine on this front. :)

Really, brilliant work on this story! It's so unique and unpredictable--I hardly know where it's going to go next (except maybe to Hogwarts--I think that they're probably going to Hogwarts next. I could be wrong, though.).

So, I'll review you next time? :)


Author's Response: Oh, man. You just made me feel ten times better about this chapter!

I'd started second-guessing myself (as I tend to do) about chapter content here. I might still go and make a few adjustments, but for now I think I'll carry on and give it time to sink in first. If you're interested and you want to keep reading, then this chapter did its job. Maybe I should stop fretting. :)

Cheers for strong female leads!! Ah, I didn't choose Wren's name specifically because she liked to take care of animals, though that would make sense, wouldn't it? I am happy that you like her name (and her image too!) because I did go for a little while not knowing who she was or what she looked like. But once that came together, it really came together in my mind. Now the name (and image) are inseparable, so I'm really glad you bought in on it. :)

Augusta makes me sad too. :( She's been through so much, and now she's like that. I hated having anything happen to her, but then where would my story be?? I will say that she gets to develop along with the story. Her condition won't be static, if that helps.

Speaking of names, for many months, Dillon didn't have one. I had to go back and add his name after I came up with it. Before he had one, I was calling him the "creepy little boy". Knowing that you (and others) are picking up on this makes me extremely pleased with him!

And oh, the rabbits! Yes, they are important. *points to title* Aren't they cute? Don't you WANT one??

Aww, shucks! I have the most awesome betas ever!! I'll have to gush over them again at some point, because they have done so much for this story!

Thanks so much for this awesome review! Yes, of course! You are most welcome to come back any time and share your thoughts with me!!!


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