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6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BellaLestrange87 

26th December 2014:
Okay, so I meant to review every chapter, but I got addicted and kept hitting the Next Chapter button.

So Draco and Snape are arguing again, are they? At this point, Draco seems to be somewhere in the middle of still proud of being a Death Eater and beginning to crack under the strain. In the last chapter, she described the shadows under his eyes, but now he decides that Snape is jealous of him. What a very apt description of Snape's anger. If he doesn't take it out on his own house, I think Astoria's house has Potions/Defence with Gryffindor.

I think that Terry and Tor are still in the awkward stage. They're trying to make small talk, and nervously dodging around the lineage/blood status topic of conversation, as well as the war and Voldemort. One thing: that first-year Slytherin who was fiercely studying from a Potions book in order to avoid Snape's wrath. Either she's failing Slughorn's course, or that should be a Defence book.

Now, why would the secret room seal itself against Terry? What did he do? I don't think this is a good sign.

"Madame Pince, the birdlike librarian, shoots a fierce look in our direction, and the Hufflepuff girls Terry was speaking with before peer over their shoulders and giggle as Terry moves away." I think you want "was speaking with before peering over their shoulders and giggling" here.

I thought Ron was poisoned at midnight? Hermione's barely-concealed jealousy comes out well here.

Demetria's ace card, as Astoria describes it, was somewhat effective. Terry's reaction was perfect (although if Yaxley wasn't known to be a Death Eater, how would Terry know about that? Unless I missed something.)

I wonder why Amaris sounds nervous? Are the rest of the Slytherins going Muggle-born-baiting again? But she is being hypocritical; Astoria tried to stop the baiting (that was losing points) so Amaris is in the wrong here. And considering what next year is going to be for them, I don't think prefecthood is going to be assigned based on merit; it'll be based on how important of a Death Eater your parent(s) is (are).

You missed the beginning quotation mark here - Don’t touch it, though. Touching the flowers gives the wizard frostbite with varying severity. It’s used in potions for healing internal injuries and expediting the process: most of these blooms are destined for Madame Pomfrey’s cauldron during Quidditch season.”

So Terry recognizes that Astoria's attempted memory wipe was an act of desperation! I think there is hope! (Although considering that Astoria ends up marrying Draco, either Terry is the one fated to die in the prophecy the first-year girl told her, or their relationship fails.)

Vitaraptor? That sounds suspiciously like the Devil's Snare in Philosopher's Stone. A distant cousin, perhaps?

~Olivia

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Review #2, by Teddy1993 

21st September 2014:
I really don't think Terry went too easy on Tor. I did find it odd however that he kept the information about her father to himself, until he said that the told Dumbledore. I really don't see Terry keeping something like that quiet, even if he might be falling in love with Tor.

It was nice to see Tonks make an appearance. It seems just like her to help them out. Great chapter!

Author's Response: Hello! Okay, I'm glad you thought he was hard enough on her, they're fighting about pretty serious issues and this fight made them both stop living in their ignorant bliss and realize how serious these issues are. Terry is pretty moral and strict with his values, but at the same time he's worried about hurting Tor so it would have been a big inner conflict for him as well as he tried to figure out the right thing.

I'm glad you liked seeing Tonks, it was so fun to write her little cameo. :) Thanks!! :D


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Review #3, by nott theodore 

14th August 2014:
Hi Jenna!

The opening of this chapter was great! I really love the way that you weave all the canon details that we have from this time and then place Tor right in the heart of them all, since she's able to view things in a different way and it's really interesting to see events like these from a different perspective. Obviously she knows that Draco Malfoy is a Death Eater but she doesn't know what his mission is, so it makes sense that Snape doesn't want her listening in on his conversation with Draco. I thought you captured both Snape and Draco well in that section, particularly with the dialogue; it worked well to show the strained relationship between the two of them at this point.

I thought the scene in the library was great! It made me laugh that Terry has now convinced everyone there that he's being paid to tutor Tor because in a way she probably deserves something like that after what she's done to him (or what she tried to do, anyway), but it might also work as a cover excuse for them being seen together in the future. I'm glad that he's willing to meet up with her though and try and sort things out!

Like the very opening scene in the chapter, I loved the way that you included Ginny coming to find Hermione in the library here! It's another of those things that could so easily have happened, and inserting Tor into all of this makes the story seem even more believable!

Amaris is starting to act quite horribly to Tor at the moment, and I feel sorry for her. Although saying that Amaris is becoming one of those girls who spends all her time with her boyfriend rather than her friends might be a bit unfair when I think about how much time Tor spent with Terry when they were first together, and she has abandoned her own friends to some extent. Even with her and Terry back together now, I think she's going to have to make the effort to spend more time with the Nott boys and Taurus if she wants things to seem normal!

The scene in the greenhouse was so cute, though, and I loved reading it! I think that it just seemed to flow really well and the dialogue was natural and believable; Terry is absolutely lovely! I think it made sense the way that he forgave her and even apologised for his own behaviour - I'm interested to see what the outcome of Dumbledore knowing about Tor is, though!

And yay, they're back together! There were so many cute lines in that scene that I kind of want to quote them back to you but I'm not going to because it would use the rest of my characters. I loved seeing Tonks there though, even though it meant that Terry got hurt! I'm sure he's going to be okay because he's still got to survive to the scene we see in the prologue, so I'm hoping that he'll be mended soon and he and Tor will get to spend some more time together. They're a lovely couple!

I've also just seen that the most recent chapter you posted of this story is the penultimate one in the novel, so I'm now going to be reading and reviewing whenever I have the time to try and catch up before you post the last chapter of this! (Hint: update something else before this and I might have more chance :P)

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hello again!! :D

Ahh, every time I respond to one of these reviews and am reminded how they were left in August I feel guilty! Hopefully I can get you the responses your amazing reviews deserve finished soon! :D

I'm glad you liked the canon details! They're interesting to write, but I also love seeing readers' reactions when they recognize events. I'm so glad that you liked how I wrote Snape and Draco as they're quite tricky other than when they're just being nasty.

Haha, Terry is pretty sneaky. :P He misses her too and he cares a lot about school and wants to help her at the same time

Amaris is a bit mean at the moment. :( You're definitely right though, Tor is being hypocritical when she doesn't recognize her own qualities in Amaris. She's gotten to the point where caution is kind of being thrown to the wind, which is risky but also shows how they've kind of reached a breaking point. Tor especially has just had enough but it could cost her in the long run.

I'm glad you liked the cute fluffy scene! I feel like a lot of this story is all angst so it's fun to write the cute things. I imagined that because of Snape, Dumbledore already really knows or suspects about Tor, but like with Draco he doesn't want to put the kids in danger unless they explicitly come to him asking for help.

Tonks was so fun! I wasn't even expecting her to be the Auror but suddenly it clicked that it should be her.

Thanks so much for another awesome review!! :D


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Review #4, by marauder5 

19th May 2014:
So... I haven't died or forgotten about this AMAZING story or anything. I did move across the world though. And wi-fi is unreliable in my new home. I have managed to read your new chapters but I haven't reviewed them and it makes me feel terrible, but I fully intend to make up for it! I'm going to try to focus on this chapter for now (even though I really want to tell you how I read ahead and how it is so amazing I don't know how to describe it, just when I thought this story couldn't get any better...)

While I love any Tor/Terry interaction I can get, I kept yelling at them in my head during that library scene for not being careful enough. I swear, one of these days Draco Malfoy or Theo or Tor's dad will walk in on them... although I guess Terry covered up for them. For now.

I love how you always manage to tie in the canon events with this. It helps so much with knowing the time and place of the story - I'm talking about Ginny bursting in to find Hermione (I love the way you write Ginny, by the way, but I think I've told you that before!)

Haha, and I couldn't help but laugh at way Tor spoke to Lancelot. She may be all strong and cold on the outside, but I think she's secretly a softie. "Would you like a new Daddy?" Priceless :D

I kind of like how you painted a picture of there being two Tors - or rather, there's Tor, Terry's girlfriend, the strong and independent and kind and perceptive one, and there's Astoria, the Death Eater's daughter, the one who tried to wipe the memory of her from his mind. It's so true. I'm also strangely happy about Terry betraying her and going to Dumbledore, because I really think Dumbledore will sympathize with Tor and possibly change the outcome of her story. That is, if he has time to do that before he dies, and if Tor will let him.

I'm very glad it was Tonks who found them! I wish I could just walk up to Tor and whisper in her ear that this is the daughter of the woman who's helping her. Maybe she'll find out at one point.

Anyway, I am thrilled that Terry and Tor are back on track for now. Expect me to come back and review the rest of the chapters (though I can't tell you exactly when that will be). And thanks again for writing this - i'm enjoying it so much it's ridiculous. You're such an incredible writer.

Author's Response: You! ♥

Ahh, do not worry at all. I was so excited to get this review and hear you're still loving the story - it means so much to me that you're reading it, whether you have the time to review or not! And I definitely understand about being busy with traveling - that's been my life for the past month which is part of why I'm so shamefully late with this review response!

I know! They are so not careful at times, which is quite dumb especially considering their dangerous circumstances. The whole relationship is just a ticking time bomb in some ways.

Thank you! I do love including the canon events, it's actually one of the best parts of writing Hogwarts era for me! And I'm so happy you like Ginny still - she's so much fun to write with how silly and lively she is.

Hehe, Tor is a big softie when it comes to animals though she tries to act cool otherwise. And who could resist Lancelot, I mean he's a pygmy puff! :P

I really like your analysis of Tor here and her two sides, and I completely agree. That's part of why I gave her this nickname in the first place, to show how she has a whole secret, different side to her. And yes, though Terry felt bad he did the right thing, and Dumbledore is one of the few people with the power to actually help her.

She might find out! :) I really wanted to write Tonks and so when she showed up at the greenhouse it fit perfectly. We definitely haven't seen the last of Andromeda and her family.

So am I! :) And don't worry at all about reviewing - like I said, even knowing you're still out there reading the chapters makes me so happy. :) Thank you so, so much for this incredible, wonderful review, my dear! ♥


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Review #5, by greenbirds 

3rd January 2014:
ITS ALMOST 5 IN THE MORNING AND I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS AND I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF NOW ERRRGGH. I am obsessed with a capital O.
Terry Boot is my new love. I'm sorry, I love him? But in the way that I want Tor and him, not me and him you know? And I love his friendship with Anthony and Michael- this has inspired me to write something about that, not quite so sure what exactly. But something.
It's really interesting seeing Tor's life interweave with the plots and twists of the actual story. You write so well and you pull it off magnificently; I'm literally quaking, I'm so excited to find out what happens.
Interesting how Tor has been interacting with Andromeda this whole time, and now she's just- totally unwarily- stumbled upon her daughter. I also really must congratulate you on your ability to carry on the true essence and character of the characters as you shift them from Rowling's books to yours, you know? I'm not making any sense- I need sleep urgently.
I'm so excited for the next chapter. I can't remember the last time I was so excited for something over the internet. You have such a gift for writing.
Does Tor make the right decision? Please a-ssure me it has a happy ending! It kills me to know that Tor doesn't end up marrying Terry, but Draco instead. Urgh, those Slytherins are so vile but they're still human and it's funny because I loved them at first, but now I totally loathe them. Amaris has gone from being fun and cool to annoying and horrible, and I can't even begin to string words (especially in my current state of tiredness) to describe the others. How could they turn on their friend, Taurus, like that! It makes my blood boil. I've never used that term before, but it's true.
If I could map out what happens in upcoming chapters, Tor decides to tear away and live with Andromeda. But that can't happen, can it?
I'm so excited for the next chapter. PLEASE UPDATE SOON, I'm begging. Begging, begging y-o-o-u. I'm humming that song as I type.
Bea xx

Author's Response: Oh my merlin, you read the whole story?!! That's so exciting, and I hope you got some sleep! Your reviews have really made my day and been so lovely to receive, you are actually so awesome.

I love him too in the same way! T&T are the cutest together, I really do love writing them and I'm glad it's coming across so well. Aw you like the bromance?! I love the bromance, and there's a lot of that in the next chapter too. You're inspired to write something?! That's awesome! I'd love to read it if you post on the archives. :)

Ah, I love writing along with canon, it's so much fun and leaves a lot of room for exciting things going on behind the scenes. I'm really glad you like the plot and Tor's story! :)

Yes, Andromeda really is the perfect person for Tor to be confiding in, and I loved the idea that she and Tonks would cross paths unknowingly. Wow, you think I captured the canon characters well?! That is really encouraging and amazing praise, characters like Tonks are so lovely and so I really want to get them right.

You're so nice! ♥ I can't promise any happy endings but the story is far from being over and has a great deal of twisting and confusion along the way. I know, the Slytherins really are awful at this point. :( Some of them might get the chance to redeem themselves - after all, Tor was just like them not so long ago, and some of them are kind of going with the flow - but for now it's acceptable to hate them and I am rather upset with them as well. The Taurus incident is one of the saddest parts of the story, in my opinion, it broke my heart a little to do that to him.

Haha interesting prediction! :)

The queue just reopened today and I have one and a half chapters written, so expect an update soon!! :D Thank you for all the wonderful support, it really is encouraging and having enthusiastic readers helps motivate me to move this story to the top of my writing list! :) I really cannot express my love for these enough! :D ♥


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Review #6, by marauderfan 

24th December 2013:
Hello (finally)! I'm so excited that you've updated this again.

Ooh, more Malfoy drama. Yeah I bet that would be odd for Tor to hear someone calling Professor Snape, of all people, jealous, and then getting away with it.

Love the detail that Tor takes so much pride in her handwriting. It seems very pureblood of her (if that makes sense). You know, very proper and sophisticated, as many pureblood families try to be. In terms of other details - I saw Hermione looking up information about the Half Blood Prince. And the small Slytherin girl who looks terrified... yeah, that's probably Goyle. Watch out, Tor! :p Basically, I love the details you use :)

I also really appreciated the other perspective of Ron's poisoning, behind the scenes what with Ginny finding Hermione in the library, and then Lavender finding out afterwards. You did a remarkable job keeping all of them noticeable and in character even with just short mentions of them.

I had forgotten about Xavier. How could I forget about him? I love when he shows up, as a little reminder of how awful Griz is :p I feel for Tor though, especially after that paragraph about Amaris - Tor doesn't really have any friends left except Terry, she's kind of stuck in this weird limbo of which side to be on, when she's not on a side.

I really liked the conversation between Tor and Terry in the greenhouse. I think it was only fair of Terry to tell about Tor's father, and I'm glad it turned out all right for both of them as Dumbledore already knew about Yaxley. It seems Tor and Terry are on their way to recovery as a couple, which is good, only instead of the innocent almost-love it was earlier, they know the good and the bad and the ugly about each other now, and I think it will lead to a much more honest relationship - maybe on the way to love, if they make it that far together. Aw :)

Loved the cameo from Tonks at the end, too! She would be very understanding of that sort of situation given her parents' situation (though she doesn't know her mum has been communicating with Tor, I think) and her own situation with Lupin. Nice tie in there.

Fantastic chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hello! :) Yay, I'm glad you were excited! I've missed this story a lot over Nano.

Haha yeah, Snape isn't exactly the openly jealous type, particularly of someone like Malfoy. :P I love writing petty Draco, though I do feel a little sorry for him at this point in time.

Yes, you're right! It is rather proper and the kind of thing she would be raised to take pride in. I'm glad you liked all those details, I loved including the Trio and hahaha Goyle. Poor guy.

I wish Lavender could make an appearance in every chapter, she kills me in HBP. I'm so thrilled to hear they all seemed in character, I find writing the main three especially quite intimidating.

How could anyone forget about Xavier?! He's such a gross, well, I use the term character lightly. I know, poor Tor. :( She could mend the bridges on both sides, but to fully remain neutral is pretty much impossible at this point. She's understandably going to have a tough time of it even if she does make a choice.

I'm glad you liked the greenhouse conversation! I agree, I think Terry would be plagued by guilt either way but that he would tell somebody. I'm glad you see their relationship that way and that they're moving towards a more realistic and honest relationship: I'm a firm believer in knowing the worst about someone before the character can earn to be exposed to the best of that person. :)

Yes! I imagine Tonks as a bit of a rule breaker in general, haha, and generally sympathetic. I'm glad you liked her appearance. :)

Thanks for the amazing review my dear! :D It was just lovely to receive and I'm so happy you liked the chapter. :)


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