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11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 

1st August 2014:
What a mess. First of all, the aftermath of the kiss was really messy, and now that I'm looking back on everything, here begins the real back-and-forth that Fitz and Molly have in later chapters (though it progresses to some more serious stuff). They would be so good together, but at this stage, there is no way to make it work. And that kiss in chapter six was just a tease. Don't do things like that to my shipping emotions! D:

And then the team is just being awful. It's like they're five years old and they all had a fight about who ate the last cookie. And so they won't share their toys with each other or actually sit down and talk it out. Although he's the coach, Fitz is the worst five-year-old of them all. He could act his age and try to mediate between the factions, but he won't. He doesn't know how. Grr. (Also, sorry for the weird comparison. It's what I was thinking about, so I had to say it.) Unfortunately, this scenario that you've written is probably true-to-life. We all act petulant sometimes, and the Prides are in this awful funk. I love how realistic it is.

Ahahaha, I'm glad that things are taking a turn for the slightly-more-ridiculous now. The loss to Caerphilly wasn't as bad, obviously, but the retreat!! Hahahaha, that's going to be fun to reread. :)

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #2, by AlexFan 

28th July 2014:
I can practically feel the sadness just oozing out of this chapter. Just reading this lowered my mood! Everyone sounds so tired and just done with everything throughout this entire chapter and I'm just the weirdo that's still cheering everyone and hoping that things pick up soon.

At least this time around they didn't lose as painfully as they did to the Magpies so there's that. Meghan needs to get some reserve players ASAP if Molly is going to start turning into a target for bludgers. There may not be many people willing to join the Prides (since they suck let's face it) but for some people it could be the Prides or nothing.

There's nothing like a retreat to force everyone into either getting along or just silently hating each other. I'm looking forward to seeing how that works out. And judging by the excerpts that I saw for the next few chapters, a lot of drama is going to be going down by the sounds of it.

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Review #3, by nott theodore 

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

What a great chapter! I'm hoping to get through the whole of this story so I'm caught up soon before you start posting the next updates, it's just so compelling to read and I'm enjoying it so much!

I loved the awkward conversation at the beginning of the chapter with Molly and Fitz. Lots of awkward moments in this chapter, actually. It might be easy to agree that they'll stay just friends and pretend that the kiss never happened so they don't have to tell anyone about it, but it's going to be an awful lot harder to actually do that. Especially for Fitz. Fitz can't seem to stop thinking about kissing her.

Oh dear, the team is playing really badly at the moment! And I feel sorry for Molly, being ignored by all the people you're captaining can't be a nice experience. It's no wonder that they lost again, really, although they didn't lose so drastically, even with Molly's bad arm. I'm glad Meghan's around to give them the kick up the bum they need! But I can't wait to see how this retreat turns out, I feel like it has a lot of potential for both humour and awkwardness!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #4, by Gryffin_Duck 

28th April 2014:
I didn't realize how far behind I'd gotten in this... But there is something nice about having four new chapters to read!

The awkward was so thick in this one. I love it. I don't think Fitz is going to be able to ignore that kiss so easily. And another awful match. At least Jinx caught the Snitch, and Molly managed to play despite her injury.

Ooo, a retreat! Can't wait to read about that. Great chapter! :)

Author's Response: Awkwardness is everywhere here. Nope, he won't be able to pretend that one didn't happen - it definitely escalated things for both of them. They aren't a winning team yet, no ;)

Thanks for reviewing, hon!


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Review #5, by LightLeviosa5443 

16th April 2014:
Hi again.

Oh. The ever delightful Hangover. Those are always fun. Oh I hate these conversations. They're having the "let's ignore this just be friends" conversation. Sad. What a shame. I vote they just kiss again. I don't think that'll happen, at least, not for a bit, but that's my vote. I wonder what Mariah would do if she found out. Intrigue.

OH yay! Smoldering thoughts and looks. I'm okay with this. This is a sad quidditch match. C'mon guys, pep up! I wish Fitz would say what he said to Molly, to the team. They need to hear that. Just tell them to focus and get their head in the game. I'm so into this story right now, I'm pretty sure I'm talking to myself. Oops.

At least this game is going a bit better, but oh no!!! Molly's arm! That's not good! Oh I hope it's nothing serious. Uh oh. A whole week in close proximity. That sounds like a really bad idea for Fitz and Molly who are trying to keep it tame and friendly. I'm so intrigued about this new development. I love McCormack, she's such a butt kicker and it's so awesome.

Oh boy. This next chapter is going to be so amazing. This review is really short and it's kind of weird, but I guess this chapter is short in comparison to the others. Kind of. I don't know, I really do love this story, it's so awesome. I'm in love with it!!

xoxo Sarah ♥
Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

Author's Response: I don't really get hangovers (I'm Jinks on that one haha) but they do seem pretty awful. I also vote they just kiss again!

Lots of smolder on both sides after the kiss. The team needs a swift kick in the butt, really. Fortunately McCormack is around to do that, since Fitz doesn't seem to know how properly.

It's nothing permanent - Quidditch is a dangerous sport, injuries happen all the time. That's why I think the League probably keeps a small battalion of Healers at the ready.

Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm really glad to hear how much you like the story :D


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Review #6, by Haronione 

17th January 2014:
Hello again :) here for the last of the (belated) SS reviews!

Ah, the morning after the night before. Fitz's thoughts about the kiss were great, I loved how he was hoping his memories were real and how he could picture the kiss so vividly :) Gah, why do they have to both be so sensible about it though, trying to keep it professional for the sake of the team? They'll come to their senses eventually I'm sure - their feelings for each other are evidently becoming stronger and soon they won't be able to hold them back (I'm hoping anyway ;) *hinthint*

So that game went slightly better than the last one, but I'm glad you didn't make them suddenly win - that would have been quite unbelievable! So yay! Poor Molly getting injured, but staying on despite the pain seemed like something Molly would do. I liked how Fitz was concerned about her after she was hit, and that look made it obvious he wasn't just worried about the game!

Okay, so I was very wrong when I thought that the team would be better together after the heat had died down for the argument - it made them worse! But, I guess it has to get worse before it gets better, right? I'm sure a week at the Silver Skies Sorcerer's retreat will do them a world of good. And it will be a great place for a bit more flirting between Molly and Fitz ;)

I did notice one typo in this chapter, the team immediately stated grumbling under their breath should be 'started' - I only mention it because it stood out to me (and also, it's been 7 chapters and all I've done is gush ♥ with no hint of being constructive or helpful!)

Once again this was a great chapter and I'm now a bit sad that I have reached the last of the posted chapters :( I have really enjoyed reading this, and I am so glad that I got you as my SS giftee - as I got to discover this story, which is now going in to my favourites list :D It is written brilliantly with vivid, well balanced descriptions and wonderful character interactions. You have really brought life to your characters and I now feel quite invested in them, wanting to read more about them (and of course see a happy ending for them both ;)). Thank you for such an enjoyable read, I will most definitely be looking out for more updates!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Ack I'm so embarrassed I took so long to respond to this.

They are both way too sensible! They need to jump each other. Think how much happier they'd be. Until they got caught out by McCormack, that is.

There was no way they were going to win, short of playing the Cannons (and wouldn't that have been embarrassing, if they'd lost to the Cannons?). With no reserve Keeper, Molly would never leave the team - she'd play through any injury. Way too dedicated! Fitz understands better than most about injuries, and he was definitely worried about more than just the game ;)

Things will start looking up eventually. And it does open up new possibilities for Molly and Fitz to be inescapably near each other.

Thanks for pointing that out! I hate when I mistype. I've been writing this part on my laptop and part on my iPad, and my iPad sometimes autocorrects (even with correctly spelled words!) to words it thinks I meant, which is very annoying. I keep finding them and going "What the heck?"

Well, I hope you've continued with the story now since I've posted a few more chapters. I'm working on the next one now. I'm so glad you were my Secret Santa-claws! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, I really appreciated them and loved hearing your thoughts on the story.


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Review #7, by L. Dunn 

9th January 2014:
Love what you've written so far; can't wait to see what happens at the retreat. You 've done a wonderful job on your characters; can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm working on finishing up chapter 9 this week.

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Review #8, by Bigfan 

2nd January 2014:
Very nice little spin there at the end! I really hope the team can pull together after this! Please update soon and I hope you have a comeback planned out for the team. Sorry that I haven't been reviewing, I don't do it very often because I'm just too into the plot. Oh and I've read most of your other stories and I think you're a great writer, I sincerely hope that you will continue! Also if you hadn't already planned for it, a rematch against the Magpies would be really cool after the Prides have pulled it together.

Author's Response: I don't want to spoil the plot so I'm going to keep my lips zipped about a comeback possibility ;) It's okay about not reviewing every chapter, I totally understand. I'm glad you were into it! I'm still in progress with chapter 8, hoping to have it up next week. Now that I will say - yes, they will play the Magpies again later in the season. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #9, by missdagane 

21st December 2013:
loved it. As usual your chapter is amazing . Can't wait to see this lot in the retreat :-)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Oh yeah, this group in close proximity doing trust falls? hahaha...

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Review #10, by Hope's Mom 

7th December 2013:
Losing is the pits - forced retreats to develop some cohesion sometimes work. Maybe McCormick will get lucky. Will Fitz and Molly be in for more awkwardness? It seems likely. Fitz's unhappiness over Molly's attitude about their kiss was amusing. Thank you for a new chapter!

Author's Response: Losing is no fun. Awkwardness isn't much fun either. Poor Fitz, he got the tables turned on him and didn't know how to handle it. She said exactly what he was going to say! The retreat will be fun ;) Maybe not for the Prides...

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #11, by Penelope Inkwell 

6th December 2013:
Well, it’s unsurprising that they’d not be a cohesive team, given all the factors at play. Fitz has it right, though, when he blames them for taking the easy route--blaming others instead of shouldering the responsibility of their own poor performance. But at least from here we can really only go up. And at least Jinks caught the Snitch, so it ended on their own terms. Hopefully this retreat will do some good, or the knowledge that, if they ever want to play Quidditch again for the Pride or any team, they’ll have to pull themselves together. I have hope : )

Yeah, we’ll see how long this kiss-embargo lasts between Fitz and Molly. They’re both practical and professional, particularly Molly, so of course they had to say that. But, I mean, come on. It’s only a matter of time.

Thanks for the new chapter! I really enjoy this story :D

--Penny

Author's Response: He's definitely got a point there. Nobody is taking personal responsibility there. It's good Jinks actually is fast at the Snitch, or they'd probably be the new Chudley Cannons. Hang on to hope! Maybe they'll get better.

Practical and professional vs strong attraction - what will win? ;) I'm really glad you're enjoying the story, and thank you so much for the review!


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