4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by peppersweet 

2nd January 2014:
Greetings, here for the 12 days of reviewing challenge! Draco, Astoria, and Luna? If it werenít for the fact that Christmas was just a week ago, I would say that Christmas just came early.

I loved this opening chapter. Astoriaís narration was brilliant; it felt very light and effortless, but little flashes of darkness poked out now and again which made the general tone a touch bittersweet. For example, when Astoria mentions, almost offhand, that more people will be seeing thestrals this year, or even that her parents had died. Iím a big fan of post-war stories about the Slytherins, and my all-time OTPs do tend to involve Dracos and Astorias and Lunas so this fic is an absolute treat. I like the way youíve written Luna before - she definitely seems like Luna, with her bluntness and all. Some writers have the tendency to overemphasise her oddness, but you havenít done that, which is cool!

Looking forward to reading on. Thank you for posting this & a happy new year! ♥

Author's Response: Hey peppersweet - I am so, so sorry about this late reply to your lovely review. I haven't had a chance to use my computer for a while. I'm so happy to that you enjoyed both narration and pairings/characters. I'm like yourself, and love post-war Slytherin stories (though I feel they are unfairly rare).
Again, I am over the moon to hear you enjoyed this beginning. You review was incredibly sweet, and it means a lot to hear such things. Also, happy belated new year to you too!
-Mahalia


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Review #2, by Lululuna 

16th December 2013:
Hello! :) I stumbled across this story and really love it- the pairing is so unusual but so intriguing, and I really enjoy the way you've written the characters so far.

Astoria is one of my favourites and I love reading different writers' interpretations of her. In this story I think you've created a really brilliant and relatable character in a few words, and really brought her to life and hinted at her past without giving too much away. Astoria seems very self-aware and perceptive, though she has this bitter side which I'm excited to see explored. The hints about her past - why Draco is leaving, her sister, her parents dying - are very intriguing.

Luna is amazing here! Really I think you've captured her spirit but in a way which makes me anxious to see more of her and how she and Astoria are going to form a bond and establish a relationship. I think that Luna's ignoring of people's boundaries and barriers - like how she just sits down when Astoria clearly doesn't want her to - will help her to pursue Astoria when the latter is clearly standoffish which might turn some people away. I loved the descriptions of Luna: how she was simple, and the "sensual" gesture she makes. It's a great portrayal and take on her. :)

Astoria's relationships with the other Slytherins are great as well. They really fit the standard of Slytherins with how the girls are silly, but also have this dark side and how Astoria doesn't really want to be around them. The story taking place after the war is so interesting as well and I've never seen it explored by a non-Trio character- Astoria clearly has some secrets and scars and I'm curious to how those will unfold.

Great job! :D On to the next chapter!

Author's Response: I'm touched that you took the time to write two lovely, long reviews. Honestly, it is very sweet and very encouraging.
I love Astoria interpretations as well! This Tori is different from my usual ones, but they always stay slightly Romantic and poetic - traits I think really, unexpectedly boomed in this story. I'm so happy to hear you like her. Oh, she is very bitter - and it will definitely be explored. Probably more in the later chapters, but it is definitely there. I'm glad you enjoyed the hints, as well! I cannot wait to introduce Daphne, Draco a bit more and how she feels about her parents death. Luna is such an open book when these sensitive topics are explored, and I have a feeling you will like the reactions and dialogue of the two when these topics are brought up :)
I'm so happy to hear you like Luna! She really doesn't have a sense of boundaries - that or Astoria just has too many, haha. I absolutely love Luna's character, and Astoria's, so writing them together is like Christmas for me. It's fun and addictive, and I'm so happy to hear that people are enjoying it. It's a weird pairing, and I was worried I was going insane when I thought of it, haha :P
I've never actually seen a Non-Trio fic after the war either! I guess that's why I feel so free writing it. I'm excited to introduce the other Slytherin girls a bit more, too... They are not savoury characters, but they are, at the end of the day, Astoria's friends (kinda). So they will have their say in this story and this relationship.
Thank you again for the lovely, gorgeous review! I must go now but I'll be replying to the other one as soon as I get the opportunity! Thank you :)
- Mahalia


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Review #3, by Rumbleroar goes roar 

4th December 2013:
Aww! Wow this such a weird pairing, one I've never thought of before, but at the moment it strangely works! I love the start of your story and your calm, fluid writing style and can't wait to read some more :)

Author's Response: You know, I don't know if this pairing is even a *thing* but I'm really enjoying writing it so far. I'm happy you gave it a go, and thank you so much for your kind words! It really means a lot :) A new chapter will probably be up tomorrow - I hope it doesn't disappoint!
Thank you for the review - Mahalia


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Review #4, by milominderbinder 

4th December 2013:
Hiya! Saw your post on the forums and thought this sounded really cool :D I was right!

I really loved reading this. Your writing's great - clear and nice to read, very few spelling and grammar mistakes, and really beautifully descriptive in places. The plot is what is really drawing me in however, and the characterisation.

You've already created an incredibly interesting version of Astoria who I like a lot. Since she doesn't really appear in canon it's basically like writing an OC, which can be hit and miss, but you've made an awesome character here. I love how you describe her as a combination of personalities.

I always got a strange mix of labels - cold, emotional, sweet, introvert, vague.

That really paints a picture of a specific kind of character in my mind, one I can really identify with.

You're also writing Luna REALLY well. I rarely read stories about her unless they come highly recommended, because she's honestly one of the hardest characters to write. People often fall into the trap of making her way too weird and just plain nonsensical - but you're writing her perfectly, in my opinion, by showing that she is intelligent and logical, and the things she does just run on a slightly different kind of logic to everyone else.

The only grammatical mistake I noticed was in this line:The Marks' on their arms bound them in a way I could never understand. - I believe this should just be Marks without an apostrophe.

Overall I really, really enjoyed reading this! I've favourited it to keep up with updates :D Can't wait to see where you take these two!

~Maia

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review - it is just so lovely! I'm glad to see you gave this very, very odd pairing a go, haha
I'm thrilled to hear you like Astoria. I agree with you, I do feel like she is a bit of an OC, and it really is a gamble writing her. Especially in this story - I needed someone who dated Draco, but was also open to Luna's ... ah ... *uniqueness* So to hear you say she is an awesome character - I'm grinning from ear-to-ear: thank you!
And Luna... Again, I'm beside myself from your kind words! I'm like you - I am not really a fan of the weird, obscure character of Luna fanfic authors sometimes paint. I don't find her that two-dimensional. She is weird, but she is also a 'Claw. I wanted to respect that fact as much as I could. I hope that she continues to impress you in this story :)
And thank you so much for pointing that out - I'll go back and change it when I can! The next chapter is finished, just needs editing, so I am hoping to have it up by tomorrow afternoon. I hope you continue to enjoy it as much. And thank you, so much (again) for this review! It means a lot :)
- Mahalia


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