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9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 

1st August 2014:
I think that this chapter just dialed up the heat a bit between Molly and Fitz. Ummm, yes. This is totally okay. :)

There's such a variety of moods in this chapter. It seemed like training was going a little bit better--Fitz got a broom that he could safely maneuver, after all, and things seemed to be looking up. But then the game happened, and that was just a disaster. It's clear that they're not gelling like they should, and they have A LOT to work on, in temperament and teamwork as well as Quidditch. Oooh, I can imagine the fight being incredibly scary to watch. It's a mark of Molly's confidence and team captain-ness that she didn't run off crying when Mariah started to blame her for everything. (I know I would have...)

AND THEN. Fitz is so interested in Molly, and vice versa... I can't stand it! It's perfect! I won't call it cute because that's not at all what it is, but still. Perfect. His discovery of her almost-inhuman neatness could add an interesting element to things later on, and his revelation to her that she makes him less angry is just... So perfect. Gah. I don't even know what to call it, but it was very, very awesome. And that kiss!

I love your characters so much. And I ship Molly and Fitz TOO much. :)


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Review #2, by AlexFan 

26th July 2014:
That was painful to read. It must've been painful for Molly and the team to lose the game so spectacularly but it was painful hearing about it from the readers perspective. It was obvious that they weren't going to do well (unless a miracle happened or someone drank Felix Felicis) but I didn't think that it would be that bad.

And of course they blamed Molly, why wouldn't they blame Molly, she was their captain after all but at the same time it doesn't make much sense either because she's only had the title for a few days and Fitz is their coach. If he'd pulled it together sooner they might've had more practice time. In the end though, it was everyone's fault because they didn't have enough training time and the players were at fault for not playing as they were supposed to.


I'm going to take a wild guess that things aren't going to be going really smoothly after this?

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Review #3, by nott theodore 

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

Oh my goodness, they kissed! That was a happier ending to a bit of a depressing chapter, with the way that everything went wrong all the way through, especially when it came to the game. But back to the kiss in a bit.

I like the way that Molly's trying to take care of the whole team and make sure that they stick together, even if it's going to be difficult. And she's doing a good job so far, which is why she deserves to be captain much more than Zara does at this point, I think. Haha, the scene with Fitz snooping round Molly's room was so funny!

Oh dear, the match really didn't go well. It's like the whole team just fell apart, no matter how much training they've been doing. And then afterwards, with them all blaming either Fitz or Molly - it's unfair, I think, because all of them played after all. I feel like Mariah's accusations towards Molly might have something to do with the fact she's realised that Fitz and Molly like each other...

Okay, go to a bar and drown your sorrows, because clearly that solves everything :P I knew it wouldn't be a good idea and that something would happen but I enjoyed reading the kiss so I'm not going to complain! I just hope it doesn't get out to too many people and I can't wait to see where they go from here!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #4, by PolyJuice_ 

29th June 2014:

*drops in to express her amazement it happened so fast and to let y'know I'm still here(

Author's Response: Yay kissing! 6 chapters I guess is fast? I thought it went well there hehe. Thanks for reviewing! *hugs*

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Review #5, by LightLeviosa5443 

16th April 2014:
Hi! I just realized I didn't say hi in my last review, oops.

I love that Molly is taking everything in as people arrive. I love that she's looking at the team and analyzing the people and it's weaknesses and how people get along. I'm wondering how she's going to fix the factions thing, if she will at all. Haha, Zara is upset. Good, Molly is better. I wonder what's wrong with Mariah. Probably doesn't like how close Fitz and Molly are getting? Oh I don't know, I love this, though.

Oh man, Molly is dosing off into the land of love. What am I even saying anymore. These reviews are so not coherent, I'm so sorry. Poor Fitz, he's so stressed and worried about facing his old team. I feel bad for him, but he's being so mean. I wish Molly would step up and say something, especially if he's decreasing the morale of the team. Oh man. I feel like I should be afraid for this game.

Oh man, that poor team. Go Molly! Slipping out to say something, good girl. I hope he gives them a peptalk. I love Molly. So much. You're characterization is so so so wonderful. Especially on Molly. She's my favourite character so far. Yay Molly's mohawk is back!!! Hooray!! Oh, rough start to the party, but that's okay. I think. I'm sure It'll sort itself out. I hope.

HAHA. Oh my gosh. That whole room scene. That was so funny and so brilliant. Poor guy with poor poor self esteem issues. That's okay. I still love him, and so does Molly.

Oh boy. Game time. Oh no. Oh poor Molly. That's so upsetting. Oh a little trip to the bar fixes everything. I like the way this is escalating. A lot. This whole scene is so genuine and fun and I love it all. I mean, I'm upset they lost and the team turned on itself, but I love this scene. They're so sweet. Oh gosh. You ended this chapter in such a lovely way. I'm melted in a pool of butterflies and feels on the floor right now. That was so wonderful and it was just a kiss. Gosh. Stop being so good!

I love the effortles flow of the story. I know I don't really comment on the real components of the story, but just what happens. But I really do love everything about it. I love the way you characterize everyone, I love how everyone has a distinct personality, and they never stray from it. I love that the story is filled with descriptions so clear that I can see it in my head like a movie. And I'm absolutely in love with everything about it.

xoxo Sarah ♥

Huffleclaw - Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

Author's Response: Hahaha it's totally coherent, don't worry. Mariah can see the writing on the wall between Fitz and Molly and doesn't like it.

She's totally zoning out and just thinking how pretty he is haha. And he is being a jerk, isn't he? Molly will set him right. I think you're right about the low self esteem! He's not doing well since that injury. Getting better though.

I loved writing that kiss so I'm glad you liked it :D I try to keep personalities in line while still having some character development and progression for everyone. Thank you so much for the review! I really appreciate you reviewing every chapter.

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Review #6, by Haronione 

17th January 2014:
Sorry, this review will be a bit shorter than usual, mainly because I don't have much to say other than I loved it!!

Usually I remark on things in the order they came in the fic, but I am far too happy that they finally kissed that I just have to mention that first! Yay, just yay :D You wrote that scene superbly and I could see it in my mind perfectly! But why did Molly have to go all 'professional' and pull away?! Gah! It wasn't just the kiss that made me happy, it was the whole of that scene with Fitz opening up to Molly and being honest about his feelings, and the interaction between them during the whole scene was fantastic.

I also really enjoyed the scene at the party. I really enjoyed Fitz's little inner monologues and thoughts, they were great. And the line about the underwear cracked me up :) Molly must have known what she was doing when she said that to him, the little tease! I look forward to more flirting between them :)

I felt you wrote the game really well. I am not a big fan of reading in depth Quidditch games and was worried that this chapter was going to be focused mainly on the actual game. Personally I thought you spent just the right amount of time on the game, giving enough information for readers to see how the game went but without going into a pass by pass commentary of it (which can sometimes be a bit dull, I think). And yay for Molly's purple and gold hair :D it was about time she got in the spirit of the team! Back to the game - obviously it did not go well, but that was to be expected. Although they argued after the game and the team spirit and morale was rather low, I think this loss will do the team good and once the heat has died down will bring them all closer together - after all, the game managed to bring Molly and Fitz closer together (in a different way) I am excited to see the fall out of the game, the argument/team divide and, obviously, that kiss!!

Great chapter, as always. See you at the next one!

Haronione ♥

P.s - guess I had slightly more to say than I thought ;)

Author's Response: lol - yay, I'm glad you liked the kiss! I loved writing that. It makes me happy to hear people shipping it :D Oh but it couldn't be that easy! Of course alcohol-fueled actions lead to hangover-fueled regrets.

She absolutely knew what she was doing. Punishing him for snooping around her room, that's what. ;)

Oof, Quidditch scenes kill me. I'm sort of glad Molly is Keeper, because it's an easier position for me to understand and write. I make myself do Quidditch and action scenes cause they're hard to write. Anyway. Yes, she's got Prides colors in her hair now: she deliberately waited until the first game to do it. Shame about the game, but they were never going to win with a brand-new lineup of not-star players, you know? Net benefit though of having Molly and Fitz drowning their sorrows together at the bar though!

Thanks so much for reviewing! I love hearing your thoughts on the story as it progresses. ♥

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Review #7, by Penelope Inkwell 

29th November 2013:
Hooray! New chapter!

Ouch, that was a rough game. But it was realistic. How could a brand new team that only had a week of good practice expect to measure up against one of the better teams in the league? Also, I like that you made Molly play poorly. It makes *her* more realistic, as well. I mean, shes obviously capable, but even so. We all have our off days. I know that exact feeling she mentions, the one where, as much as you just want to tell yourself to get over it and do the job well, you can just feel in your bones that it isnt going to go well, and its hard to come back from that. It was a very easy description to relate to.

Also, Fitz + Molly! Finally! All that sexual tension actually has an outlet! And that part was very well-written. You just see it all leading up to it, and...can it be? Will it happen? Surely n--Oh my gosh, YESSS!

So, that was great. Thanks for another chapter! Im really enjoying this fic. I think its time I favorited it, really.


Author's Response: Everybody has off days! In my dance troupe, we call those performances the "let us never speak of this again" ones. Sometimes you just can't bring it. I'm glad that scene turned out. They were never going to win their first game, but going up against Montrose was an issue. If they'd played the Cannons first, maybe they would've shown up better. ;)

Writing those two having drunk flirtiness at the pub was very fun, I have to admit. I'm glad the reviewers are liking that :D

Thanks so much for reviewing, and for favoriting!

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Review #8, by Gryffin_Duck 

26th November 2013:
Yay! They finally kissed! Probably wasn't the best of circumstances- just coming off a loss and spending the whole night in a pub. But still, they kissed! I imagine the next training session will be really awkward, but hopefully they get over that quickly.

I had a feeling they'd lose to the Magpies, but not quite so spectacularly. I'm guessing it was the nerves that really got them, especially Molly. But as long as they beat the Cannons, they won't be completely hopeless. I just hope they get it together and stop blaming each other, because if they don't start acting like a team they'll never win. Great chapter! :)

Author's Response: Yes! I loved writing that scene, so I'm glad you liked it. They will definitely have some issues adjusting to having kissed, though.

Half the team is used to always losing, and the other half is used to sitting on the bench. First time being starters for half this lot, that's intimidating. Definitely a likelihood for stage fright (or whatever the sporting equivalent is).

Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm really glad you're enjoying the story :)

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Review #9, by Hope's Mom 

23rd November 2013:
Ouch - what an ugly loss! I was surprised that Molly gave in and kissed Fitz already. The alcohol probably helped that along? I think Mariah will be exceedingly unpleasant if she finds out that Molly and Fitz like each other. Thank you for the new chapter!

Author's Response: Pretty painful for the Prides. Definitely the booze's influence there - you'll have to see the next chapter to see where it goes from there. A kiss doesn't make things easy. Mariah might already have an inkling - she does know Fitz pretty well, after all...

Thank you so much for the review!

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