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12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by slytherinchica08 

17th May 2015:
My enjoyment of this story continues. The last bit in particular was my favorite what with them both sort of admitting their feelings for each other, or at least fitz wondering if there ever might be a chance for the two of them. I really like how he is finally willing to listen to Molly about different drills they might do and other coaching ideas like watching old matches to get ideas.

The flow of the story has been really nice so far and I never notice how long a chapter actually is. Instead I'm sucked into the chapter and before I know it, the end of the chapter has come. I very much look forward to reading more.

~Slytherinchica08

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Review #2, by UnluckyStar57 

1st August 2014:
Holy cow... I ship them more with every chapter, and I feel like I'm not supposed to ship them yet. Rawwr, why are you doing this?! It's so adorable, but so tense! I can't stand it! I love it!

...Perhaps I don't even know what to feel. Fitz has obviously decided to take McCormack's advice and get it together, but his crush on Molly could make everything fall apart. Ditto for Molly. But even though they have these not-quite-there-yet feelings for each other, they're still clashing at almost every level--less so since Fitz asked for her help. It's not at all a simple relationship, and it keeps getting better with every chapter. The fact that McCormack basically nixed romance between team members only makes it more fun to read.

But it's not just a romance, and it will never be just a romance. They've got a Quidditch team to worry about, and they're both so driven that they won't think twice about putting their careers before their potential relationship. Still, that "do you think we have a chance?" double entendre kills me every time. Perhaps the team doesn't have a chance against Montrose, but a coach-player romance within the Prides is far less likely.

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #3, by AlexFan 

26th July 2014:
I'm so happy that Molly got Captain! I mean, I had an idea that she probably would but it's still nice to see that she actually got the spot! I love her strategy for getting Jink to actually work instead of just taking a nap on his broom. This girl knows how everyone works and to get things done. Molly is my baby, it's only five chapters into the story and she's already become my baby.

Thank God that Fitz finally managed to smarten up! I was wondering when he was going to figure out that he needed to step it up a notch. I was so impressed with him swallowing his pride and admitting that he needed help with the drills, that is a big step for him. I know how difficult it can be to admit that you're wrong and to ask someone who knows better than you for help.

As for whether he and Molly have a chance, HECK YES! She didn't exactly say no to his question but she didn't say yes either. Fitz has a chance with her as long as he stops acting like a jerk and apologizes for treating her so badly. But if they did break up, I feel like Molly would probably have an easier time of keeping it professional than Fitz because she has a lot more control over her emtions (and Fitz would have a harder time because his LACK of control over his anger).

Has Fitz considered seeing a therapist or getting some anger management?

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Review #4, by nott theodore 

9th July 2014:
Hello!

Aw, what a cute chapter! I haven't properly read any real next generation romance for so long, and it's so nice to come across a story that's as well written and compelling as this one. So now we know that Fitz likes Molly! Well, I knew it anyway from all the tension that there's been between them, but at least now he's actually admitting it to himself and to Max as well, which is progress, right? Max was really funny though, some of his lines really made me laugh.

Haha, I love Molly's audacity. She's so determined to get them trained up to her standards that she just takes over the whole schedule herself and tells the team to do something other than what the coach has told them, and they do it! At least they're improving, even if the season's going to be a hard one for them to get through and they've not got a chance against the Magpies. I'm glad that she got made Captain, though! And I was shocked when Fitz came to her for help, and even more surprised when he asked her if they had a chance - I can't wait to see how the romance develops between the pair of them!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #5, by LightLeviosa5443 

16th April 2014:
I know I always say this, but I love your descriptive skills. They're really wonderful, and I feel that they shine through in certain parts of the story and really just make it so much more powerful. We haven't seen much of Fitz and his relationship with his friend Max, and I'm really enjoying this little insight/scene of the two of them. I like getting to know characters and their friendships and relationships. You do such a wonderful job of keeping your characters true to how you first wrote them, and I love it.

Oh my gosh. This line. "Listen mate, if you're waiting for a girl who's never seen you behave like a Yeti, you're never going to get a date." is so wonderful. I'm laughing. I'm crying laughing. That was AMAZING. I like knowing Fitz does have a thing for Molly. It's comforting and exciting to know that the feelings reciprocate. I was really worried that he was just kind of indifferent towards her, which of course I didn't want because Folly needs to be a thing. Mitz? I don't know what one sounds better.

Haha those beaters are flat cold busted. I'm nervous about Beathan going home with Gittins too, and I feel like I barely know those characters too. If Fitz things it's going to implode, it probably will. Oh yeah, bad, bad bad bad. Oh I love Meghan. This story seriously just gets better and better and better. Please tell me Molly will be Captain. Please tell me they'll make Molly captain.

He's watching her, and she caught him watching her. And it's super cute. Love it. Uh oh. Not super cute. Oh no, he's mad. Ugh, but she got the whole team motivated and moving! They need to communicate. He needs to realize that she's helpful and she needs to realize that he doesn't like to listen so she has to force him into it. Oh my. He broke his broom.

I feel bad for Fitz, but at the same time, Molly is right. He could totally do something about it. I do love this mini-power struggle, though. It's great. YAY SHE'S CAPTAIN. So excited. Probably too excited. Also, I can't wait for this quidditch match. Side note, I love that you've written a story about quidditch. I've always wanted to, but actually writing a story about quidditch terrifies me, and you're super brave and awesome. Just so you know. Back to the story. McCormack and Weasley giving him a "Then do your job" speech. Oh man. He's having a rough go of it.

Poor guy. Kind of. Just kidding I don't really feel bad for him, he asked for it. Ooh boy. Molly's drinking and Fitz is going to show up at her door, isn't he? Yup. He did. McCormack didn't just make her team captain, he kind of did, too. YAY HE ADMITTED HE NEEDS HELP AGAIN. I love that he can set aside his issues and do that. So happy. So so so happy. Look at them, working together, this is great. Oh Molly, don't start picking fights.

OH MY GOODNESS. How she got Jinks to actually practice was so hilarious. I actually cried a little laughing. So funny. This scene, they're communicating and understanding each other and it's so lovely. Oh gosh. Butterflies. This is so perfect. I literally have butterflies right now. Awe. Nothing happened, but that's okay because stepping stones. Wonderful chapter. Oh, so amazing. Literally every chapter just gets better and better. I'm so in love with this story.

xoxo Sarah ♥

Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

Author's Response: Aw thanks! I never feel like description is my strong point, so I'm always working to improve it. I'm glad it's going okay :)

I wish I could throw Max in more often, I like him a lot. Sometimes they're too busy, but Fitz needs a confidante, since he doesn't have a huge, close-knit family like Molly does. I'm pretty proud of some of Max's snark. I think it turned out well haha.

Oh I hadn't even thought about a ship name. Hmmm, Folly is pretty funny...

The Beaters are twits, aren't they? They're fun though. And Molly has them bucking the training schedule to do what she thinks is best. Busted! And Fitz has anger management issues. That is not the first broom he's broken.

Fitz is a bit of a mess. He does want to help the team, he just doesn't really know what he's doing with the other positions, only with the Chasers, since that was what he played. Time to learn some new skills. And yes, Molly is right about the team.

It's true, he backed up the captain decision. But he gives McCormack the credit for that decision. Captain Molly! And he's much better in private with just Molly than in front of the entire team. He needs to relax haha.

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #6, by Haronione 

16th January 2014:
Hello, me again :)

I think this may be my favourite chapter so far! I really enjoyed the interaction between Fitz and Max, it was like the male version of the relationship/interaction between Molly and Lucy. It made me really happy that Fitz admitted he was attracted to Molly!! Yay! More progress in the romance department! Even if he tried to deny it at first! How could he deny it though when Molly had made him nearly forget the troublesome ex-wife? I loved how he went into such detail when thinking about Molly, he has obviously been paying her a lot of attention!

Ha, obviously Fitz wouldn't take Molly's interference with training well! His reaction and the argument between him and Molly was great - they needed to clear the air and get rid of some the tension.

Gah, for a split second I thought Fitz was going in to see McCormack to resign, but then breathed a sigh of relief when he said 'you wanted to see me' but then I started worrying she was going to sack him! But neither happened, and for tht I am glad :) I'm also glad that his little chat with McCormack made him see reason about Molly and her attempts to help with training!

Gah!! I really thought they were going to kiss then! I love their interactions away from work :) you really build up the tension between them well and believably! I have a feeling there may be a few more of these little incidents before they actually kiss (for I am sure they will, and I'm looking forward to that)

Another great chapter and I can't wait to see how the match with the Magpies goes! I'm guessing it won't go too well!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm pretty fond of Max, so I'm glad to hear you liked him. And of course Fitz is paying very close attention ;) he just hates to admit it, even to his good buddy.

Oh no, he was definitely not going to take that well. Completely losing his head is more like it. He's touchy and has a temper. But, fortunately Molly's not the type to put up with that.

McCormack's got more faith in him than he has in himself at this point. And, of course there's the fact that experienced Quidditch coaches aren't exactly thick on the ground, so replacing him wouldn't be easy to do. At least McCormack can knock some sense into him!

Yay sexual tension! Good, I'm glad it's coming out well - it's fun to write, and it's nice to hear it's translating out of my head ;)

Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #7, by Gryffin_Duck 

26th November 2013:
Aww, I loved this chapter! It's so nice to see Molly and Fitz finally getting along. I'm glad McCormack talked with him, otherwise he would probably still be too stubborn to realize Molly had been right. I only hope that when they do get together, it doesn't screw up the team.

Molly's idea to get Jinks to actually do his job was hilarious. Hopefully he takes it to heart and continues to listen and practice. I wouldn't put it past Molly to do exactly what she said she would do. Great chapter! Off to read the next now. :)

Author's Response: It's about time they did! McCormack pretty much comes around when someone needs a good solid kick in the rear end. She's good at that. XD

It was certainly effective! Jinks like the ladies. And in a small town, he needs to not have a bad reputation or no one would go near him. Molly would totally actually do it, too. lol... Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #8, by Hope's Mom 

3rd November 2013:
Great story and character development in this chapter. The moments at the end where Fitz asks "Have we got anything like a chance?" and says "Don't forgive me until I deserve it." were really nice. I was not surprised that Molly got the non-chaser part of the team to practice more effectively - it seemed like something she would do. Thahk you for the new chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you're liking the story :) Molly's definitely a more effective leader. Fitz never had to learn, since he was the star before his injury. It's hard to change personality gears. Molly hasn't had to do that yet. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #9, by missdagane 

29th October 2013:
Sparks are flying :-) I really like Molly: she always seemed cool (with the leather pants and the mohawk), well, that was Rose POV and I like to see more of her: she's a lot like Percy: organized, bossy, but also a little manipulative (liked the way she blackmailed the seeker by the way ;). She's a little like how I see Bill: the cool perfect. I'm liking her more and more. And Fitz: what a character he is. The end was so him. Your fics are always my favorites. You have to know that (but I suppose you've already guessed) english is not my language. I used to read fanfiction and books to learn the language and your fics are perfect for that. Consider it a compliment :-) But it's also sometimes frustrating to not be able to express exactly how I like a chapter and go into the details. It's a pity really because your fics deserve better reviews. But I can only tell you that: I love your fics, I love the universe you created and the OC are so perfect, it's how I imagine the Harry Potter world and I thank you for that. Hope to read the next chapter soon :-)

Author's Response: I think Molly's a lot like Bill. Percy would see her as a lot like him and is super proud, especially for the things she can do that he never managed, like play Quidditch and be cool ;)

I love your reviews! I don't think I ever noticed if English was your first language. I only speak French and a bit of Italian in addition to English, so I'm not much help on other languages. It's hard to read in other languages and then express yourself fully in it. I totally get that. I've read books in French and I don't think I could review them in that language. At any rate, I definitely appreciate any reviews you give :) I'm super pleased that you're enjoying the story. And I'm glad you like my OCs, especially Fitz! I'm pretty fond of him so far, even though he's a bit of a jerk when he's in pain, which unfortunately is all too often. Thank you very much for reviewing!


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Review #10, by ThestralPrincess 

28th October 2013:
oh, so good, I adore Moly and Fitz. looking forward to the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'll have the next chapter after NaNoWriMo :)

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Review #11, by Nell 

27th October 2013:
Loving the tension!!! Update soon ;) Can't wait to see what happens.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :)

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Review #12, by diversrock 

26th October 2013:
I love this!!! Expecially the pub, though can I suggest changing the name to the Pier Hotel - nobody on Skye/in Portree would call their pub the Rowan Mansion, whereas there is a pub, whose character suits your story very well, called the Peir Hotel...

Looking forward to the next chapter, even if I have to wait till December!

Author's Response: Oh thanks! I don't want to use the name of a real place, I try not to do that. The Rowan Mansion is a folk tale of the Hebrides, which is why I named the pub that. I love to use folk tales and folk history as wizarding stuff so that in my head it can be real tales instead of just myths ;) But I do thank you for the local perspective! Greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much for reviewing and for sticking with the story! :)


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