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54 Reviews Found

Review #1, by princesslily_36 

26th April 2017:
Hey Beth! Back to break Mel out of jail for CTF!

I love how you have written Rose's version of the party! I'm loving Al and Selenia already (but then I have a little thing for Al, I guess). The part where Rose gets a weird feeling - is that a precurser to one of her panic attacks? I'm guessing large gatherings are not really going to help calm her down - especially loud noise and big crowds. Poor Rose!

Scorpius enters the scene! Yay! This exchange, one of my favorites! It just flowed so easily and theres just something so comforting about their friendship and the hint of something more (or is it just in my head, haha). This chapter is definitely a lot lighter than the last one, I loved the little pieces of comedy you have in there. It was lovely to see Rose and Scorpius sharing a laugh and a drink together. And she just feels a lot calmer when he's around (or so it seems.)

Ok, looks like I spoke too soon about the light chapter. That man was creepy. Though I'm cringing a little bit, I'm also admiring how amazingly you've written this now! The way a woman feels when an unwanted man comes groping after her is perfectly captured in your words, and I can't imagine writing something so creepy so well!

YES. That Scorose was not all in my head! The moment they shared, his protectiveness, their ease, the way she thought and felt about him. It's all very amazing! You've got me hooked!

Cheers
Ysh!

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Review #2, by melian 

26th April 2017:
Kidnapping!!! So thatís it! Here I was thinking it was some kind of short-lived yet traumatic event, and I find itís an extended traumatic event. Geez. She has gone through a bit, hasnít she? No wonder sheís a bit anxious.

And Louis! Thatís the brother! I knew if I kept reading I would see his name eventually. Easier than looking it up myself, hahaha.

You know, every time I read a next-gen fic Iím always so struck with how, letís face it, HUGE the extended Weasley clan is. I mean, seriously, youíd need a full sized bus to get them all around. I think that might be one reason Iíve shied away from that era, because itís so easy to get all the names mixed up in my head and Iíd be bound to miss someone. And some would say, so what if I did, but Iím sure you know as well as I do that people would notice, and ask. At least, thatís my experience. I wrote a Marauder story without Frank and Alice, and the number of times I was asked why they werenít there Ö

But I digress. Iím here to talk about YOUR story.

James Potter II was certainly well named, wasnít he? James AND Sirius all in one. I think just about every next-gen fic Iíve read has characterised him this way, and why not? The glimpse we saw in the epilogue certainly hinted at it. In any case he certainly knows how to throw a party, and this is clearly no exception.

Nice throwing in some other nationalities there too. American and Australian, from memory Ė it makes a nice change, especially when theyíve all graduated from Hogwarts and havenít just been plonked in as exchange students and the like, which I find usually seems to be because the author wants someone of their own nationality in there. This makes much more sense Ė coming to the UK to play professional Quidditch, or being an ambassador. I like it.

Iím not surprised at the undercurrent between Rose and Scorp, but I do admit the interloper intrigues me. Who was he? How did he Disapparate when Iím assuming James had put an Anti-Disapparation Jinx on the flat? I suppose this will be answered further in. Onwards I go!

Cheers Mel

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Review #3, by Lavanya 

13th January 2017:
Wow. You described the effects of a panic attack accurately!
You write really well. :)

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Review #4, by Avanell 2 

25th March 2016:
And I was #69 for chapter 1! That's my birth year ;) Very interesting party. Scorpius is so sweet! Of course, lol. Love it! :D

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Review #5, by Sophie Grace 

11th February 2016:
Okay I love how the story starts to pick up here. Most stories I read here or hell even some books try give a drawn out introduction and it takes a while to get into them. Not this story. I love how you jump in with the action and by that I mean fighting LOL. It really got me hooked and wanting to read more.
Oh and Samara not sure how I feel about her yet. I don't know when I read stories and books I get really into the characters. Sometimes I know right away I love the characters and others I know right off the bat I hate them. Then their are some I can't really tell until I learn more about them.

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks for the compliment about the pace of the story. This was the first thing that I'd ever written and I wasn't sure if I'd struck the right balance between pacing out the story and getting into some action. Glad you like it!

♥ Beth


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Review #6, by Felpata Lupin 

7th February 2016:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BETH!!!

Wow! What a chapter!
Your writing is so smooth, the emotions so intense, the images so clear and vivid! I'm sure I already said you before, but you're such a great writer!!!

Poor Rose. What a awful moment. Who was that man? What did he want? How did he escape?

I'm glad that she could find at least a bit of peace in Scorpius. And maybe something more than peace... The closing was so sweet and delicate and made me smile. :)

I really loved everything about this chapter. Your detailed descriptions, the funny moments, and above all the way you show us Rose's thoughts and emotions, so honestly, so precisely, so believably and authentically, so beautifully.

Absolutely stunning job! Just perfect! Wish my narrative was half as good...

Happy birthday again! Hope you'll have a great day, my dear!
Tons of hugs and love!
Chiara

Author's Response: Hi Chiara!

Oh gosh - I feel so terrible that it's taken me three MONTHS to reply to this, but thanks so much for leaving me a birthday review. This was so sweet and it really made my day! I'm so happy you picked this story. I've definitely put the most time and energy into this one.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #7, by MrsJaydeMalfoy 

20th September 2015:
Okay, I'm officially addicted!

I feel so sorry for Rose and what she went through at the party, but at the same time I'm so glad to see that she doesn't want to be afraid and alone anymore. And I think it's SO endearing of her cousins to jump in the way that they did.

Annnd I'm gonna need Rose and Scorpius to be in love soon. LOL.

Sorry for the short review, but I MUST KEEP READING!

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Hi there!


"Okay, I'm officially addicted!"

Eeep! My heart did a little flip on this. I'm so glad. Haha - I think they already are in love, but they just haven't let each other know that ;)

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #8, by Roisin 

18th September 2015:
Yay finally back to this story!

I really commend the balance you managed in this chapter. Like, the jilting experience with Mystery!Creep was followed by a genuinely funny parade of cousins into Scorpius' room, and you really sold the mood shift. The movement from Rose feeling awkward/uncomfortable at the party, to joking around with Scorpius and having fun, to getting assaulted and freaking out, back to humor, and then ending with a serious-yet-pleasant-and-hopeful tone was really well done.

I also commend you on avoiding a cliche in favor of something genuinely nuanced and believable. Like, "girl gets assaulted then is instantly lusty for her Savior" is a trope that has been (rightfully) criticized as unrealistic, but I really don't think that's what you did here. Like, Rose's flirtation with Scorpius predates Mystery!Creep, even if the characters weren't cognizant of it, and her making a move on him was well-crafted as her sort of staking out her own Agency and seeking out something positive. So yeah, that was refreshing :)

You've also managed to make me sort of curious about Scorpius too, though I can't exactly put my finger on why. I guess it was his anger about Mystery!Creep, and how it seems to /affect/ him outside of just concern for Rose. Like, I read it as a more personal response than generalized outrage, though I might be wrong.

And quite a lot here really was very funny (Wolfram's comment about puke colors, Albus bursting in ALSO shirtless, etc)--super well done :)

I see why this story is up for Most Addictive. It's not just that there are things I want to know about (the details/context of Rose's kidnapping, my curiosity about Scorpius), but because the writing itself is just really propulsive and engaging.

On to the next!

Author's Response: Okay,

Gonna do my best to reply to this without being all silly and goofy about it - but seriously that's how I feel about now. THANK YOU SO MUCH! EEEP!!

Hopefully it's out of my system now...

I'm so, so happy that you didn't find the overall scene cliche. I know the earlier bits come off as trope-y, but teenagers and young adults *do* hang out together regularly, so... (although I recognize that not all groups of friends would "party" like this)

Yes! I really, REALLY didn't want it to seem like Rose was all fawning over Scorpius. He's just someone that she feel safe with at this point. The reasons for that come out in the next few chapters.

And I'm jumping around that you /felt/ something going on with Scorp. That will also come out later in the next few chapaters (apparently I don't let any of my main characters escape serious drama...)

So, glad you like the building story line. And Gah! I can't help myself from squeeing over your last paragraph. Coming from you, that means so much!

♥ Beth




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Review #9, by Penelope Inkwell 

14th September 2015:
Okay, that's freaky. That that guy just showed up, manhandled Rose, and was able to Apparate out (apparently not at the Apparition point, since Rose mentions that there is one) while under a body-bind hex? Very creepy.

He was often angry.
--that's probably understandable, given his background. But, it's interesting: he doesn't seem angry around Rose. He's very calming for most of the time they're together. I actually really like their vibe.

I feel so bad for Rose, that she blames herself for pushing him, rather than doing something more severe. Of course everyone else can react quickly. They've never had the sort of traumatic experience that she has, and they weren't being grabbed. I hate that she feels like a coward, but I can understand it. Those kinds of situations are hard, and it's hard to know how to handle them.

She didn't overreact, though. Lots of girls would have been freaked out, even without the kind of history she has, I think. I would have.

I'm very glad to hear that she's not feeling numb, anymore!



CC:

One thing I noticed--

I would have jumped a mile in the air, if I didnít know the owner of the voice, the only voice that had the power to calm my nerves, for whatever reason.
--I don't think you need that comma before "if". And also, it seems like maybe it should be, "if I hadn't known the owner of the voice", because "if I didn't know" sounds like present tense, and we're in past. There's some wiggle room there, but I think the past version might sound more natural.


This story has sucked me right in. It's quite addictive so far. Really good job!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hello Penny,

Thanks for stopping by again.

Yeah, that dude is seriously creepy. It is *indeed* weird that he was able to do all those things, isn't it?

I'm so glad you picked up on the fact that Rose shouldn't be blaming herself. She's been through so much, she doesn't know which end is up and the fact that she's trying to hide all of it is making her a bit barmy.

But she's starting to feel things - and that's a good fist step.

Thanks so much for finding those errors! I fixed both of them. I do have a difficult time with tenses and I check over my chapters again and again before I post them, but a few always seem to slip through. I really appreciate another pair of eyes.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #10, by HeyMrsPotter 

11th September 2015:
HI BETH♥

I am frantically trying to get through the Dobby nominees and leave some reviews :D

I really love your writing style, it's so refreshing. You have the best comedic timing. I mean, Molly and Wolfram talking about different colours of vomit, sheer brilliance. I'm already loving the chemistry you have between Rose and Scorpius, that friendship that is teetering on the edge of something more. The tension is so palpable, I love it!

Congratulations on your nomination!

Dee

Author's Response: Dee!

You are amazing, girl! I can't even with how awesome these reviews are. It's astounding to me that you are trying to hit every story and leave reviews. Gah - thanks so much for your kind words. I struggled to hit the right balance for Rose and Scorpius and their feelings, but not quite relationship yet, so I really appreciated the comment.

You're the best,

♥ Beth


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Review #11, by Liana 

10th September 2015:
It looks like your story has been well read so far. It's funny how the Potter/Weasleys seem to travel in packs.

Author's Response: Hi!

Yes, I have a few followers (and I'm still so excited about all of this) - and I agree, the Potter/Weasley next gen kids are definitely a tight-knit group.

♥ Beth


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Review #12, by Rumpelstiltskin 

8th September 2015:
Just me, doing some Dobby reading.

I instantly remembered this story as soon as I read the title, which surprised me because I read it such a long time ago. Then, I reread the first chapter and realized WHY I remembered it (because I loved it)!

Anyway.

Understandably, Rose is feeling uncomfortable at a large gathering; her anxiety is probably at one of its highest points. I really loved this line, and how it relates nicely to people with such panic-disorders: "I hoped that I wouldnít have to start reciting potions directions to get through it." It's entirely realistic to find some sort of distraction -- in Rose's case, reciting directions -- to help cope with rising anxiety.

It is nice to see that other side of Rose, too, the true side of Rose, when she finally feels comfortable with Scorpius. I love that you've hinted towards who she is when she isn't being weighted down by the past, it aids the puzzle of her characterization greatly.

That is, of course, until the drunk dude came in to ruin everything.

I love that Scorpius is so okay with Rose's pure need of him, that she needs someone to help her be okay, especially after that episode. It's sweet, his understanding, and I love the way the pair interact.

Of course, I really do appreciate the bit of humor mixed into the bedroom scene! "Why donít we just invite Nana Molly and Grandad here and call it Christmas." -- This line had me in stitches. The tension was definitely broken slightly, which helps even out the heavy tones (a nice little reprieve).

"I felt something." Ah, I love it. I don't know how much sense this review is making (I have a bit of a habit of reviewing while over-tired).

Fantastic job! I'm assuming that my reviews will come sporadically throughout this, because I have a LOT of stories to read for the Dobby's, but hopefully someday I'll be able to come and review chapter-by-chapter!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Gah!

Thank you so much for leaving a review - really, it's so, so kind of you. I'm still kinda in shock that my story got enough nominations to move on to the voting round. (Eeep!)

I really wanted to treat Rose's anxiety with respect for this story. I wanted to be accurate and I'm so glad you felt that I related well to panic disorders.

And... YES!!! You get to see a tiny bit of the real Rose, here (although the next two chapters are a flashback, where we see Rose *before* all her trauma) - but I'm so, so happy that you noticed how a little bit is coming through.

I do enjoy writing the little humorous bits - and I never quite know if things that are funny to me come across as funny to others, so thanks for mentioning that :)

Just... I don't know how to thank you for this - you took so much time with this chapter and I understand that there are so many stories to get through!

Thanks again! If you get a chance, I'd love to hear what you think of the next few chapters!

♥ Beth


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Review #13, by manno_malfoy 

6th September 2015:
Hello! Iíve been eyeing this story for a while, but was always intimidated by how big it it is! But Iím glad I deicded to go for it anyway because Iím already extremely intrigued by your characters. I just want to sit here and tackle it all at once, which is probably what Iím going to do.

I really do sympathise with Rose because I have anxiety too, so I can understand her behaviour and where itís coming from. I think youíve written her thought process throughout the chapter incredibly well, it all resonated with me. Iím rather curious whatís happened to Rose and what is it with this kidnapping she just mentioned in the closing paragraph.

I have a soft spot for Rose/Scorpius, and the stories I read usually are about a lot of the arguing and the nagging that signify the budding of their friendship. What I loved about this chapter is that theyíre already familiar with each other, and I found it very easy to slip into it all and get to know them better. I was taken by surprise when that guy tried to force himself on Rose because just a bit before that, she was joking with Scorp and all was alright. I hadnít expected things to escalate so quickly! I loved seeing Scorpius fend for her and remove her from the scene. And even with all Roseís anxiety and the tense circumstances, youíve managed to insert something comical --the bedroom scene. I really did enjoy that bit!

And, of course, I was so excited to see a bit of the spark between Rose and Scorpius in the end, and how that left me with so many questions about where they stand. Have they been together before and it failed, have they had feelings for each other all this timeÖ? I donít know. But Iím really eager to see where this goes.

ďFor the first time since my kidnapping, I was able to give and receive consolation from someone else.

I felt something.Ē

Thatís a brilliant way to end the chapter because, again, it just helps me work out what state Rose is in, and how sheís been dealing with it all. And it just really struck me how this simple, little gesture could be a turning point for her emotionally. Because I really do believe that itís usually something small that starts to bring feelings back, and thatís why it takes the person by surprise that it actually affected them somehow.

I'm very excited to discover the rest of the story! I already have good feeling about it!

-Manno

Author's Response: Hi there Manno,

I'm trying to keep up with my unanswered reviews and I just get so silly/giddy/goofy when someone new finds my story and really *gets* what I've been trying to do with it. So thank you so much for these awesome reviews!

I completely understand what you mean about tackling a long story - they can be daunting, but thanks for giving it a chance. Haha - I have a soft spot for Rose/Scorpius too and I really wanted to write a story with them characterized slightly differently than a "perfect combination of their parents." I believe that they would have their own experiences that would shape their actions and personalities. (I'm still smiling sooo much from these reveiws, you have no idea.)

Woot! You want to know more?! Yes! That's what I was hoping for, that the reader would feel compelled to just check out a bit more and see what is going on with these two. Gah - thanks so much!

♥ Rose


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Review #14, by BookDinosaur 

15th July 2015:
beth!! here for the second of the six challenge reviews that i desperately, desperately owe you. again, i'm so so sorry for the delay

oh my goodness, beth this was an action-packed chapter. ic certainly don't think it was too long, but you managed to get a lot to happen within this chapter! i mean, my characters stop and argue for, like, 3k words and my chapters never go anywhere so major props to you for doing good writer stuff like advancing the plot and moving the story along. you know, all that stuff you seem to do so effortlessly while i'm stuck trying to stop my characters from arguing. anyway, sorry sorry. off topic. i'm the worst reviewer, honestly. i need someone to hit me with a bread roll when i start going off topic.

anyway, plotty stuff. do you see what i mean when i say i respect you for moving your plot along? i can't even move this darned review along, honestly. i suck

your characterisation of rose in this chapter only got stronger than before, to be honest. i love that she was/is close enough to her family that she can joke around with scorpius about how they're probably acting at this party, and at the same time she's just hiding in the corner trying to bury herself away from the loudness and craziness of the party, you know? it seems like a bi of a paradox that she's laughing outside and so scared inside, but it's so realistic and i love it so much.

i really love the way that you've subverting stereotypes and cliches with the situations that you present in this chapter. a lot of the time in next-gen fics, fred or james are throwing wild partiezzz everywhere and the main female oc is like "omg. i'm so awkward. what do i do" and then she goes out and has a good time, you know? but you did a really great job of turning that trope on its head and actually narrating the party from someone who's really nervous and a little scared of being there.

ooh, and we're already getting some touches of scorose!! eyyy :D i love this so much already; how you're not trying to rush it, but they already have a healthy relationship with one another, and i love the way that the two of them were able to joke around together, and you did a really good job with the narration as well because rose's narration immediately seemed more at ease when scorpius was with her and she just seemed more relaxed and that was lovely and i was so happy for her ♥ i also really love that scorpius seems to understand what rose needs and takes her to a quiet place after she's so shocked and sort of in panic mode, you know? he respects her and understands her and that is the basis for an amazing healthy beautiful relationship that's going to be sunshine and rainbows. i can nearly taste it

except for that weird creep who just randomly shows up? how can someone apparate while they're under a body bind curse? i don't understand that but i'm sure it's going to be explained later on, and my guess is that we're going to be seeing more of this creep, oh dear :/ that may get in the way of the sunshine and rainbows

anyway, beth this chapter did a fantastic job of moving the plot along and i have mad respect for you for that. i really enjoyed reading this and whil i don't think i'm going to have time to leave the other four reviews for you tonight, i SWEAR that they well be done by the end of the week. that is a promise

♥ emily

Author's Response: Hi Emily!

No worries!

Eep - it was so *awesome* to wake up to these reviews! Thank you so much. I'm glad you feel that the story is moving along. Like I mentioned in my author's note on the first chapter, this is the very first thing I've written, ever (other than required school assignments). So to be totally honest, I had/have no idea what I'm doing. I just knew I had a story inside me and I began to write it, but I'm really glad that you feel it's flowing well. I didn't want to pace it too fast and I was worried that things were moving a bit too slowly. Thank you for alleviating my fears with that :)

Thanks so much!

♥ Beth


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Review #15, by Tonks1247 

12th June 2015:
Oh. My. Gosh. Does it just keep getting better? It is honestly so hard to stop and write a review before going onto the next chapterÖI donít know how you managed it, but Iím quite attached to Rose and would quite like to know more of her, and what happened with being kidnapped and how thereís this thing that isnít a thing with Rose and Scorpius and how he helped her feel SOMETHING more than she had in yearsÖjustÖNeed. More.

Okay. More coherent. Again, your characterization with Rose was fantastic. I got an even better feel for her character, with her not wanting to be in crowds and only showing up to have face time to have people not be worried about it. Also, her instant freeze and freak out for this guy grabbing her (not that I blame her) was so in character and I actually kinda felt anxious with her and it was justÖit was pretty intense for a little while there. Especially when he just apparated away with a full body bind going on. Like, what?

Also love how Scorpius steps up and gets her to calm down. He brings her somewhere quiet and really cares about getting her space to quit freaking out. Really adorable! Also love how Al shows up when she doesnít have a shirt on and then everyone else does and she still doesnít have anything on and itís justÖoh my gosh, was laughing so hard I got a couple of weird looks from the people living in my houseÖ. xD

Really, really excellent chapter! Cannot wait to read some more! Great job!

--Mikaela
-Ravenclaw, House Cup 2015-

Author's Response: This:

"Oh. My. Gosh. Does it just keep getting better? It is honestly so hard to stop and write a review before going onto the next chapter... I don't know how you managed it, but I'm quite attached to Rose and would quite like to know more of her, and what happened with being kidnapped and how there's this thing that isn't a thing with Rose and Scorpius and how he helped her feel SOMETHING more than she had in years... just... Need. More."

I didn't mean to quote an entire paragraph from your review, but I don't know if I'm gonna have the right words to properly respond to this. Gah! And you put all of that in there during the House Cup review competition - I'm a puddle right now.

Also - my profound apologies for taking this long to respond. I'm trying to work through all my unanswered reviews right now and you've left me so many kinds ones, I want to take the time to do it right.

Yes! I didn't mean to make you feel tense like you were in a cramped space, but I kinda wanted my readers to know what it was like for Rose at that party and I'm so, so happy that you approve of Scorpius helping Rose. He's a bit lost with the whole thing and while Rose *thinks* her friends don't have any idea about her internal struggle, that's not really the case.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #16, by Gabriella Hunter 

7th June 2015:
HellO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and it's great to be back! You know, I read this first chapter ages ago but I can still remember it and it only took a little bit of re-reading of the first chapter to get back into this! :D

I'm also sorry for how late this review is, I ate Chinese yesterday and my stomach was like: "This is hilarious. How about you get sick now?" and so that was how my entire evening went. I also had big girl stuff to do and that was pretty annoying so this review might be a tad long!

Anyway, it was great getting back into this story. I was curious on how it would proceed after the first chapter and it certainly didn't disappoint. I really, really love this version of Rose that you've written--she's awkward and a little introverted to the point where I really want her to branch out. I personally know what it's like to feel disconnected from the world and I thought the opening scene with the party was written to showcase this very well.

Even in a room filled with happy people, you can feel lonely and Rose's anxieties were pretty understandable. I also like the fact that each of her cousins is different from the other, though Albus and James are going to be banned from my heart forever since they can never settle on one girl. Someday, I'll have them for my own. *Ahem*

I like the awkward atmosphere that you created for Rose with this setting. I felt cramped after reading it and I could only imagine what it was like for her before Scorpius arrived. Their moment together was hilarious by the way, I really liked that they managed to bond. Scorpius didn't appear to be happy to be at the party either and while I'm curious to know why, he managed to bring Rose out of her shell for a moment.

I was SOOO hopeful for a few seconds but then that...weirdo showed up. What was up with that guy? I was so scared for Rose and then I was freaked out because the guy apparated while being immobilized. Huh? I have a feeling that we're going to be seeing him again and I thought the remainder of this chapter held not only sweetness but mystery.

What I liked the most though was the very end, Rose and Scorpius reached another step towards a better friendship. While Albus and the others argued and fought amongst each other about what to do with Rose, Scorpius was the gentleman and took her feelings into account. I thought that was a great character trait for him to have and the very end with the two of them, accepting comfort and closeness from each other was beautifully written. :D

Haunt my thread again!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi there Gabbie!

I need to completely apologize to you for taking so long to respond to this amazing review. It's readers like you who keep me motivated to continue on with this story. I've got about 75% of it written and the general bits are fleshed out until the end, but sometimes it's *hard* to just get the words out. Then I get a review like this one and I'm all silly-goofy-smiling over it and I just want to write and write and write.

And YES! I'm so, so happy you like both my characterization of Rose and of Scorpius. One of the reasons I started this story is that I hadn't seen the couple done the way they were in my head, so I really wanted to put my version out there. I felt that the next gen kids would have their own version of Voldemort to conquer, but I also wanted to give them some unique characteristics, instead of making them exact carbon-copies of their parents.

I also didn't want to rush their relationship. I am a die-hard ScoRose shipper, but I wanted them to really, really be in a place where they respected themselves and each other before they got together. So, the romance part is a bit slower - haha.

Yeah, Scorp's got it pretty bad for Rose - that's the main reasoning behind his miserable nature. He doesn't even realize it.

Thanks again Gabbie - I'll be requesting again from you!

♥ Beth


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Review #17, by MalfoyMannor 

7th June 2015:
Why was she kidnapped?

next chapter will I find out?

I love the mystery

Author's Response: Oh - thank you so much!

You'll have to keep reading...

;)

♥ Beth


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Review #18, by Aphoride 

4th June 2015:
Hey Beth! :) Stopping by again for our review swap - well, kinda, I guess :P - though it's a bit late for it, really, considering we're into June now...

Anyway, I really wanted to come back to this, so I'm here - even if it is a little later than expected! :)

I love the way you expand a little on the characters here and give more inplication/potential hints about what happened to Rose during her kidnapping. It's a reallly great follow-up chapter to the first one (though, tbh, I'd have liked a little more action happening beyond the party, but I'm really not the right person to complain about things like that :P), with the way it compounds the elements we were introduced to in the first chapter and keeps setting up again for Rose's future development.

I liked the way you ended it on a small forward step, too - with Rose finding she could both give and receive comfort to and from another person. There was something so small and so normal from the way you wrote it, but Rose's realisation afterwards gave it this wonderful, subtle impact, where it became clear how much it meant to her to be able to do that, and to find it within herself.

I really love the way you're developing Rose's character, especially her kind of semi-dependent relationship with Scorpius, which is only friendship (for now :P), but is both very sweet and lovely, and it's so good he's there for her, but she seems very dependent on him being there, if that makes sense. Again, I'm so looking forward to seeing how you develop this further, and how they work through Rose's obvious issues and any problems Scorpius has or which happen to him. Because of the way you write them, though, I can't help but root for them both :) They're so good together! Or they would be... :P

As before, I love the way you write this - it really sounds and reads like the kinda diary/mementoes/thoughts of a girl not long out of Hogwarts. The words you use are just so well chosen, and you write the emotions, whether the panic she feels or the terror, the amusement as she jokes with Scorpius, so so well - I can almost feel them, you know, and they're so real and believable. It's just such a great voice you've got here - it really brings this story to life, and it's so so good.

Anyway, that's all from me for now - I'll hopefully be back later on this week for chapter 3! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi Aph!

Gosh - it was so kind of you to come back for another chapter and I fell so, so terrible that I've taken until now to respond to it - eep! I feel like the House Cup sorta took over my life and while I had a complete BLAST with all of it, I'm really glad to have some time to get back to writing, reviewing and answering my reviews :)

I know the party scene was fairly cliche and I imagine that if I were writing this novel right now, I might have done this scene a bit differently. But this was the very first thing I'd ever written - at all. I'd read a significant amount of fanfiction, and had my own definite ideas about how I wanted my story to go, but I think that getting to the main points along the way was a little rough.

One thing I did want to do with this - was to decidedly begin this story at Rose's turning point - sorta the "small step forward" that you mentioned. That was deliberate so that I could start her journey.

The semi-dependent relationship with Scorpius is also deliberate. As the story progresses, it becomes clear as to why they feel that they need each other so much (but I didn't want to dive too deep into that pool, because I'm a firm believer that you *must* have some things that are just for yourself, before you can share your life with someone else).

Thanks again - I'm glad that the characters come across as real and believable - that was also my intention and when I get a comment from an author that I have the utmost respect about my writing, I'm just reduced to a pile of goo - :)

Thanks again Aph!

♥ Beth


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Review #19, by Claire Evergreen 

9th May 2015:
Hey, Beth! Finally here for our swap!

I love the way that you introduce characters. You never have to outright say "oh, he likes to party" or "she is really outspoken." Everything is shown and nothing is straight out told to us. Like, we get the idea that Fred is more than likely a womanizer and Dom is extremely outspoken and can be over the top. I love reading stories that allow us to get to know the characters as we read instead of an info dump at the beginning.

Speaking of characterization, Scorpius kinda creeps the daylights out of me. Originally, I thought it was kind of sweet how he went over to Rose and they started to talk, but when I went back, it seemed like she was kind of on edge around him until she had a few drinks. Don't get me wrong, he seemed to at least care about her a little bit, but it seemed extremely protective and the line He was often angry. definitely does not have a very positive connotation. It also makes me wonder if there was a connection between that and when Rose was attacked...

With the attack, you also did a wonderful job conveying her helplessness both during and after, I think it was interesting to note how much she hated feeling helpless, which led me to believe that she wasn't always like that. I mean, obviously she has changed after whatever happened to her, but her reactions definitely made it seem like she didn't like who she has become.

I love this story so far! I can't wait to read some more!

-Claire

Author's Response: Hi there Claire!

I'm so sorry that I've taken forever to respond to this! Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm glad that the character descriptions felt natural to you. I really do work hard on that.

Oh! I really didn't intend for Scorpius to be creepy. His anger is never directed at Rose - he's just been dealing with his own demons for the past few years - that comes up in the next couple of chapters. Both he and Rose have been through some traumatic personal events and I wanted his character to deal with it differently than hers. His pain and frustration manifests in anger - mostly because he feels so alone in the world (and like I said, that comes up in the next few chapters).

I'm so glad that you picked up on the fact that Rose wasn't always the way she is right now. I was worried that that didn't come off in this chapter.

Thanks for the review!

♥ Beth


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Review #20, by merlins beard 

6th May 2015:
Hi Beth,

Now we're getting into the story a little more.

Awww, the part where Rose and Scorpius sit there and make fun of Molly is just so cute.

Who the hell was that, and how could he apparate right out of the flat, especially when he was petrified.He sounds seriously dangerous and I have the sneaking suspicion that we'll see him again.

I LOVE the spark between Rose and Scorpius, how they seem to be able to calm each other, and how Rose is too embarrassed to change in front of her cousins, but pulls her shirt right off when alone with Scorpius.

She almost got a panic attack again, but Scorpius helped her. Maybe she should tell him about everything.
Her reaction to being grabbed is completely understandable. It leaves the healhiest girls in a state of shock sometimes, so for Rose, who's been through so much (even though we don't know what exactly that is yet), it has to be even worse. I completely get that she freaks out.
I'm glad she wasn't somewhere in another room when it happened and Scorpius was right there and quick to react.

~Anja

Author's Response: Hi there!

So glad you noticed the effect that Rose and Scorpius have on each other. Those two have a really strong connection. And I agree with you about Rose being open with Scorpius. Their relationship will only be able to go so far when she's keeping such an important thing from him.

Yeah - he did get to be a bit of a knight in shining armor here, huh?

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #21, by TearsIMustConceal 

5th May 2015:
Hey Beth! Iím here for the BvB review battle!

I was so excited that you were the last person to review because I knew it meant I got to review the next chapter of your amazing story! I jumped at the chance to review!

So where to start! It doesnít surprise me in the slightest that Rose is nervous about the party, especially as weíve seen the depth of her anxiety what I now know is PTSD in the previous chapter. Her coping mechanisms are really well written and well thought out Ė you clearly know what youíre doing when it comes to writing anxiety issues and I commend you for that because youíve done an amazing job!

Rose and Scorpiusí interactions seem so natural and you can tell that theyíve been friends for a while. I love how she finally seems to relax around him and that she is comfortable enough be herself and even be close to him Ė it shows that deep down, even if she doesnít realise it, she trusts him an awful lot which is lovely. And I love how after spending some time with him, she feels strong enough to get up and get the drinks by herself Ė I feel as though he is her rock, her strength without her knowing it and I just think itís just so sweet.

I do not like that guy at all! Like seriously, he creeped me out from the minute he was mentioned and it only increased with Roseís description. I hate that her confidence was instantly shattered by his appearance Ė it really makes me sad but itís so understandable Ė it doesnít take much to revert back to an anxious state and I can just see Rose replaying that moment over and over again afterwards, cursing herself for letting her guard down for just a minute or two.

I love how everyone instantly comes to her aid but itís Scorpius who she clings too in her desperate fear. I feel as though their connection is something really strong and that they canít help but gravitate towards each other. I really want to read the next chapter now because I want to know if Scorpius feels their connection!

I loved the scene where Al barges in on Scorpius and Rose Ė I feel like itís a well needed light-heartedness in such a dramatic and tense situation. And Roseís narration - Why donít we just invite Nana Molly and Grandad here and call it Christmas Ė I absolutely love that line because I feel as though it sums up the close relationships between the Weasley-Potter clan perfectly!

And now onto that bombshell you kind of just dropped on me Ė KIDNAPPING? Of all the things I imagined, that was not one of them but then now youíve mentioned it, it would make sense Ė her parents are Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley and her uncle is Harry Potter Ė if anyone was a perfect kidnap victim, Rose would definitely fit the bill, as well as the other kids. Now Iím intrigued as to why she was kidnapped Ė was it because of her parents or was it something else entirely? Had someone been watching her before it happened? I NEED TO KNOW! Quite desperately actually so Iíll be reading the next chapter after this review.

I felt something Ė that line made my heart melt and now I want more of ScoRose!

Once again, youíve wowed me with your amazing talent and I really cannot wait to read more!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Vicki!

Holy... wow. This review is so amazing. THANK YOU for being so kind. I'm all giggly and smiley that you like my story :D

Ah! So relieved that you liked how the Rose and Scorpius dynamic played out. I'd put so much into her anxiety and PTSD, I was hoping it was still believable that she felt alright around him - there's a connection between the two that runs deeper than either of them realize.

yeah - I needed a little comic relief after the trauma Rose had been through - I'm glad you thought it worked well!

Gah! yes - read more and PLEASE let me know what you think! I hope the story doesn't disappoint!

Thanks again Vicki! This review was so awesome!

♥ Beth


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Review #22, by TreacleTart 

4th May 2015:
Hey there Beth!

I'm here for our review swap! I happened to read chapter one of this awhile back and was really happy with it. I've had it on my currently reading list since then, but haven't had a chance to really sit down and have a go at it. You know life seems to want to get in the way. Anyways, I'm so glad that I've finally made it to chapter 2!

I'm not sure if you remember, but in my review of the first chapter, I said that I thought Rose had been raped due to her reaction to things. After the way she reacted to the guy grabbing her, I couldn't help thinking that again, but you've told me that that wasn't what happened. When you finally did reveal what happened at the very end, it really started to make sense. I don't want to blow the reveal for others, but suffice it to say that the symptoms of PTSD that she was exhibiting seem quite realistic to her experience.

Scorpius seems a bit damaged himself. I wonder what it is inside of him that makes him so angry as Rose points out. Her certainly seemed to be her Knight in shining armour throughout the party. I was glad to see that he was helping her since she certainly seemed to need it.

I will say that making someone who's gone through what she's gone through go to a massive party like that seems a bit insensitive. I know that she states that she just wants to be there for a bit to show her face, but her family should realize how difficult that is for her. PTSD is awful and it is usually exacerbated by large crowds, so it isn't at all unlikely that she would react as she did, finding a corner to sort of hide away in.

The ending gave me a bit of hope for her and I had to chuckle when everyone barged in as her and Scorpius changed shirts. I'm sure it definitely looked a bit different to them than it actually was. I definitely cheered for her when there was a moment of human connection. I hope that something grows from that, for both of their sakes.

As always, you've written a beautiful chapter here. I wish I had some constructive feedback to give you, but you know what you're doing. Excellent work.

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hi there Kaitlin!

First off,

Thanks so much for giving such kind and thoughtful reviews. I know that you have first hand experience with PTSD, and while I wrote this story much before we knew each other, I was very nervous for you to read it, because I wasn't sure that I had done the symptoms and feelings justice. Now I can say *WHEW!*

Yes! Scorpius is dealing with his own set of problems - and much is revealed in the next two chapters about that - so perhaps we will do another swap or two in the future and you will find out :)

As far as how the others are treating Rose, the kidnapping occurred almost exactly two years before the story is set. Rose was taken hostage for six days and then returned. She convinced her family she was fine and has been living a lie and keeping her panic attacks hidden from them. She *thinks* she's fooled all of them. In reality, she's been doing some sorta okay acting and they know somethings up, but no one has taken the initiative to confront her. Partly because they don't know how to broach the subject and partly because it is easier to pretend sometimes than deal with the nastiness.

Glad you liked the ending. I thought we needed a bit of lightness :)

Thanks again for this awesome review!

♥ Beth


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Review #23, by Flower n Prongs 

3rd May 2015:
Hi Beth, I'm stopping by for the BvB review battle.

I didn't think I would get to read this again this fast but, once again, I posted after you so I'm back! I was so interested by the first chapter that I just had to move onto this one to see where it was going.

Rose's social anxiety was spot on again. As somebody who had (okay, has) issues with crowds the mantra to stay focused rang very true to me. Focusing on one particular thing and trying to get some physical space is my coping mechanism when possible too, so I'm already feeling a connection to your Rose.

I love the fact that James is part of the Chudley Cannons... his Uncle Ron must be so proud. The fact that you had a party in this chapter didn't seem at all like a fill in because a) Rose's confrontation added to her character development and b) we got to see more personality for all of the cousins. There is a huge Weasley clan in this generation but you are doing a good job at keeping them clear. Introducing a friend & Dominique along with Rose in chapter one and then a handful more of the clan here has helped me actually keep people and personalities somewhat straight.

With Rose being grabbed by the drunk guy (poor girl) you have continued to set up the back story for the kidnapping well. I'm still curious to see how this unfolds.

Having Rose and Scorpius graduating without getting together is something rare (all the ones I have read have them still in school). I think having more mature characters who have already "found themselves" (ah, so corny!) at least somewhat helps keep this from feeling cliche or like just another Rose/Scorpius.

Another interesting chapter. =)

- Rhaenyra

Author's Response: Hiya!

So happy to see you're back for more of this story.

Gah! Sooo relieved I got the anxiety right. I also have a bit of that - for whatever reason there seems to be a "critical mass" of people that make me nervous. I'm completely fine up until a certain number (probably around 30 or so). After that, I can be a real wreck. Unfortunately, my job requires me to talk to larger groups of people from time to time and I have to really gear myself up for it. I've never been comfortable at parties, so I could totally relate to Rose here as well.

Yeah, I made a definite decision to hold of on the pairing and write the story post-Hogwarts. I wanted them to be a bit more mature (they did have a few things to work through - haha). And I really felt like making them older gave me a bit more freedom with other parts of the story - they weren't bound to Hogwarts and professors and such...

Thanks again - I love hearing your feedback!

♥ Beth


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Review #24, by alicia and anne 

29th April 2015:
I can only apologise for the wait for this! I'm sorry! I blame work and no internet at my other halfs house and *shakes fist at everything*

Aw Scorpius is all nervous and adorable! He totally likes Rose :P I can tell :D

They're so cute together! Mocking the others and pretending to know what they're saying. :D I love it!

Eurgh! Who is this guy! GO AWAY BEARDY! I hope someone comes to save her :( YES! SOMEONE CURSED HIM!

I'm really glad that she has his there for her, I can feel the bond between them already.

And kidnap?! I don't remember the word kidnap being used before!

I need to read more! I can't wait to find out more and more about what happened.

Keep up the fantastic work! You're such a brilliant and amazing writer :D

Author's Response: Tammi!

No worries about the time - I'm just so grateful you offered to do reviews for people - it is so incredibly kind of you.

AND I'M SO, SO, SO EXCITED THAT YOU LIKE MY STORY!!!

Okay, calming down now. Haha - "go away beardy" :)

I'm so glad that it came across that Scorpius has it BAD for Rose. He is adorable, isn't he?

Also - you noticed their bond! Eeep! That comes up later in the story as well.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #25, by RupertsPheonix 

27th March 2015:
Okay,so I probably won't comment on every single chapter as I read all 31 posted chapters, but I wanted to go ahead and say some stuff after reading these first two postings.

First off, wow. So I have a day off work and wanted to find some good Scorp/Rose to read. I didn't realize I was stumbling into such strong writing and unique characterization - I am so pleasantly surprised! I love that I can already, even after only 2 chapters, feel a dynamic building between this friend group. I feel like I can already identify with this Scorpius and this Rose.

Even though Rose is obviously suffering some type of PTSD and/or emotional crud (for lack of a more eloquent term there), she is still a very intriguing and dynamic character. I love her mental reply to her friends/family bursting into Scorpius' room - "call it Christmas" - it's exactly how I (and lots of others) think in situations, finding the funny irony to cope with what's actually going on - that is so relatable.

I also really enjoy that you're teasing us a little with Rose's past. If I'm not mistaken, the second to last line of this chapter is the first time you even use the word "kidnap." This little-by-little revelation is definitely keeping me hooked.

I can't wait to read more and learn more about these fascinating characters! Onto chapter three!

--Kate/rp

Author's Response: Hi there!

Gosh, I don't know what to say - these reviews are so amazing. I always get excited when someone finds my stories, but your words are SO ENCOURAGING! I must apologize for taking so long to respond, but I didn't want you to think that I don't completely appreciate every single one of them!

Okay, I think I'm done with my gushing (maybe, maybe not).

Haha - I'm the same way with finding a funny point in the face of extreme situations. I always would feel little guilty, but I can't control my thoughts - haha!

Yeah, I didn't want to give too much away in the first chapter - mostly because I wanted to keep it on the shorter side, but it worked out by (hopefully) keeping the reader interested enough to come back for the second chapter.

Thanks again Kate!

♥ Beth


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